Continuation of Impossible Choice
Song inspiration: Wake Me When It’s Over by Willie Nelson
A/N: Apparently my muse has a thing for angst and heart wrenching stories cause this story kept needling me until I caved. I have not personally lost a partner but I was my dad’s support system when he lost his ‘husband’ (it wasn’t legal yet). I have some experience in a deadbeat MIL, and know what it’s like to lose a close loved one even if it’s not my partner. I’m pouring a lot of emotion in this as always, please read with care. It should be noted that Riley made a clean break from Liam. As she grew closer to Drake she stopped meeting Liam on his ‘dates’ and she did not have a fling in Vegas.
Gettin’ tired now gotta get some sleep now
Guess I’ve been worried much too long
And don’t wake me till it’s over
When the need for you is gone
I was so happy before I loved you
I’m gonna be like I was before
And don’t wake me till it’s over
When I don’t want you anymore
Riley refused to speak to Liam. She wouldn’t even step foot anyplace she knew he would be since burying Drake. Liam knew she was grieving but he hoped she would eventually forgive him and let him back in. The last moments she spoke to him firmly ingrained into his memory.
Riley’s body shook as she sobbed against Drake’s slowly cooling body. Liam felt appalled and ashamed at himself as he knelt frozen in place watching as she cried. I had no choice. I had no choice. He would have killed them both. He repeated the words over and over in his head like a mantra only he could hear.
Liam had wished there had been another way. Why wasn’t there a way that didn’t leave either of them dead? He wanted to let them both live, but that wasn’t possible.
He never expected Anton to make him choose. He had snuck to the meeting hoping to negotiate a deal for both and only managed to fail them, fail himself. When he phoned Bastien to request assistance he couldn’t bear to tell him the truth of what happened. Telling him to his face would be hard enough, having to look him in the eye and tell the man who raised Drake from a teen that he was the reason that Drake would be returning home in a body bag.
Liam felt a dull ache in his chest, but he didn’t deserve to ache, to hurt. He was the one who chose but how could he have stood by and done nothing and lose them both? Even so he felt like an imposter. The guilt would eat at him for the rest of his life, this he was sure of. He wouldn’t get through a day without blaming himself for her pain.
Liam was unsure how much time had passed until Bastien arrived. All he knew was Anton and his men had vacated shortly after ensuring Drake was truly dead. He wouldn’t want to risk getting caught would he?
“Duchess Riley.” Bastien exclaimed.
Liam silently watched as Bastien approached and tried to pry a crying Riley off of Drake’s body. Riley let out an ear piercing screech as she fought off Bastien and gripped Drake tighter, clearly unwilling to let her husband go.
“Riley, look at me, what happened?” Bastien demanded.
“A—Anton made Liam choose and he made the wrong choice. He should have saved Drake or let us both go. It’s because of him I’m a widow the same day I was married.” Riley sobbed as Bastien managed to pull her free only for her to collapse in his arms. Her sobs wracked her body harder as she separated from Drake’s body.
Liam closed his eyes at her words, her truth. For her it would be easier for them both to be gone, for him it would be a far worse fate. Liam listened as Bastien gave orders for the removal of Drake’s body. The thought of his best friend as nothing more than a corpse sent a shiver down his spine. He can’t be gone. This has to be a nightmare. This can’t be real. Liam knew when he opened his eyes that he would be met with the cold truth, that he was the reason that they would be burying his best friend.
“Sir, it’s time to go.”
Liam slowly opened his eyes to a guard whose name he could not recall. He was lead to the SUV were he slid in next to a still sobbing Riley. “I’m sorry.” His voice a hoarse whisper. He wasn’t even sure she heard him until she spoke.
“You should be. You should have let us both die. Why? Why was it better for him to die and me to mourn him? I hope you’re happy, cause I won’t ever speak to you again.” Her voice raw with emotion.
Liam looked out his study window, glass of Scotch in hand, he hadn’t even looked at Whiskey since losing Drake, the memories of laughing and talking with his lifelong friend far too painful to bear. He had walked the palace grounds numb for months, guilt weighing him down. Riley avoided him and anywhere he’d be and he ignored his only remaining friends in turn, he couldn’t handle their looks of disgust or worse, pity.
The last he saw of any of them was the day they put Drake in the ground. He had wanted with everything in him to stand to the side and just blend in, but as King and best friend he was pushed front and center, by the side of the grieving widow. He felt like a fraud, someone who was mourning for show. Inside he was broken since he said the words, making what he felt was the best choice, no matter how much it hurt.
Liam stood off as far to the side of Riley as he possibly could. Her occasional glances that would surely mark his death if looks could kill did not go unnoticed by him. Only those closest knew the truth, the running story was that Anton had shot Drake before a rescue attempt could be made. Riley had screamed at Regina until her voice was hoarse, not looking, let alone speaking to Liam, treating him like a piece of furniture. No she took out her anger about the false story on Regina instead, only making the guilt gnaw at him even more.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Riley spat with such vile and hatred he thought the words were meant for him.
Did she change her mind? Did I step to close to her? Liam turned following Riley’s hot gaze, his eyes falling on a wide-eyed Bianca.
“I’m saying goodbye to my son.”
Riley let out a joyless laugh. “Your son, that’s rich coming from you. Where the hell were you the last eighteen years of his life?! Where was your care or love for either of your children when they were grieving the loss of their father? You were nowhere! They were raised by their fathers mentee who didn’t have to step up but he did anyway. Drake grew up to be an exceptional man without you, so please tell me why you finally dained to come back for his wedding? I know he sure as hell didn’t invite you, so why did you think he needed you there?! And now you think you have a damn right to come to his funeral when you have no clue as to the man he’s become without you! Get the hell out and don’t you ever come back!”
Liam wanted to talk to Riley, calm her down, but he was powerless to move, not wanting to upset her further.
Olivia stepped forward, her emerald eyes narrowed. “You heard his wife, I think it’s time for you to leave.” Olivia stated as Hana tried to console Riley who had once again broken into a fit of tears.
Bianca blinked. She finally turned and walked away.
Liam watched as Olivia and Hana led Riley back to the waiting limo once the grave was covered. He silently pleaded with the universe to turn back time, allow him to make this right. He never wanted to lose them both, yet he clearly did anyways. Was it really kinder to save her, doom her to this life? He had lost them both the day he chose her over Drake. He wasn’t sure how he could possibly move on without them both by his side, but now he had to try.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the familiar knock . “Come in.” He called out. He closed his eyes momentarily as he heard the door clicking shut. “Any word on Anton or his supporters Bastien?”
“I’m confident that we are closing in sir, but I didn’t come by to give a report.”
Liam turned from the window, he took in the guards sullen face, though he kept the same hard posture. “I understand, please sit.” He gestured to the seat across from his, taking his own. “What can I help you with?” Can I really help anyone? Can I really rule after what I allowed to happen?
“I want to switch out Riley’s protective detail.”
Liam looked at him quizzically. “You don’t need my permission to make changes like that.”
“I’m afraid I do sir, I want to take the position myself.”
Liam sat back in his chair. “I see.”
“I’d also like to step back as head of the guard.” He paused. “It’s clear Anton learned much when he assumed the identity of Justin, I feel if we want to take him down changes need to be made and that means my stepping down.”
He blames himself for Anton getting close. “Of course.” He set his glass down on the desk, clasping his hands in front of him. “I just have one question.” Bastien nodded his head. “Do you blame me for Drake’s death like Riley does?”
Bastien swallowed, he’d been expecting this question. “I understand why you made the choice you did. Drake would have wanted you to make the choice you did, he would want her to live, he took a bullet for her before, he’d rather die than live without her.” I blame myself more than I blame you. Anton shouldn’t have been able to get to them. You shouldn’t have been able to meet him alone.
Liam nodded his head. A perfect diplomatic answer, I shouldn’t have expected anything less. “Take care of her.”
“Of course.”
My mind is gettin’ weak now gotta get some sleep now
I gotta rest my achin’ head
I just want to lay here just let me stay here
Till the blues get up and leave my bed
Good night, darling
Good night, darling
Good night forevermore
And don’t wake me till it’s over
When I won’t want you anymore
My mind is gettin’ weak now…
