επιθυμία [epiθimiːa], n – craving, longing, desire
I stood at the window clutching my glass, praying that the warm whiskey would calm my nerves. My hand shook as I brought it to my lips, letting the alcohol glide down my throat. Perhaps there wasn’t enough whiskey in the world to settle me. It had been nearly an hour since Liam had cornered me on the balcony, revealing that he knew I secretly wanted to sleep with Drake, a desire I wished to remain forever tucked away. I thought back to earlier, as my husband stripped my soul bare and proposed an arrangement that shook me to my core.
“Charlotte, I love you, and I desire you. You know this, correct?” Liam purred at me from across the balcony, still relaxed against the railing. His blue eyes flashed at me, the anger from earlier transforming into an all-too familiar emotion: lust. I nodded, not trusting my voice to answer, knowing it would betray my deepest longings. My acknowledgement pleased Liam; he smiled softly and crossed to me, possessively sliding a hand around the back of my neck. I shivered, from his touch as well as its implication. He tilted my chin up to look in his eyes.
“I also know you love and desire me, yes?”
I nodded.
“Yet, it seems that my cock is not enough for you, Charlotte, that you crave the touch of another man.”
“Liam, that’s not -”
His fingers tugged the hair at the nape of my neck sharply, bridging the gap between pleasure and pain, and I gasped at the sensation. “Do not lie to me, my love,” he whispered, “this is the time for us to be honest with each other, to lay ourselves bare.” Bringing his head down, he gently kissed my lips, briefly caressing my tongue with his before pulling away. “Do you think you can be a good girl and tell me the truth now?” Again, I nodded silently, unable to tear my gaze from his, unable to speak the words. Liam continued.
“Charlotte, would you like Drake to fuck you?”
Eyes boring into mine, Liam waited. I swallowed hard, my heart pounding. Admitting my craving felt so wrong, like I was betraying Liam and our vows, yet he was acting as though he expected this. I screwed up my courage and closed my eyes, the word barely a whisper.
“Yes.”
“Look at me,” he commanded. My eyes flew open to obey his order. He smiled. “Good girl. Now. Yes, what?”
A beat.
“Yes, I want Drake to fuck me.”
The words sent a thrill through me, a rush of heat from my core soaking my already-wet panties. My breathing unsteady, I searched Liam’s face, waiting for his reaction. Smiling softly at me, he brought a hand up to caress the side of my face.
“Now was that so hard?” he asked, his fingers stroking the smooth skin of my cheek. I leaned into his touch, kissing his palm. No matter my carnal desires, this was the man my heart belonged to. “I’ve known what you wanted for longer than you have, my love,” he continued, trailing his other hand across my rib cage to stroke at the underside of my breast. “I’ve seen it in your eyes for months, the wondering, the wanting, and I was curious as to when you would finally be able to admit it to yourself.” His fingers continued up to the bare skin above the neckline of my dress, tenderly tracing the swells. “Charlotte, I’ve told you before, Cordonia’s understanding of marriage and sexual gratification are much different than America’s. Here, we marry for love,” he bent his head, pressing his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, while his hand roughly twisted my nipple through my dress.
“And we fuck for pleasure.”
A moan escaped me at the dueling sensations: soft and hard, gentle and rough. Liam continued speaking as he fondled me. “Your desires are nothing to be ashamed of, my Queen.” His lips traveled down my neck, across my collarbone, and to the opposite shoulder, and his hands gently turned me so my back was to his front. Looking across the balcony, I gasped; there, among the shadows, stood Drake, watching us intently. Instinctively, I brought my hands up to my face, shock and embarrassment causing me to flush. Liam chuckled and grasped my wrists lightly, bringing my arms down to my sides.
“Nothing to be shy about now, Charlotte,” he said, laughing lowly, “Drake knows that you want him, that you fantasize about his mouth on your pussy, sucking you until you come, screaming.” Liam’s voice carried in the night air; I watched as hunger flashed across Drake’s face, his fist clenching at his side. My own craving, for both men, reached a fever pitch, unbridled lust pooling in my belly.
My legs shook and I leaned against my husband for support, unable to believe the possibility of what he was saying. Could I have both men? Could I love my husband, and still physically want Drake? Everything I knew about love, marriage, and sex was being turned upside down, and the possibilities thrilled me. I waited, breathless, for Liam to continue, to offer me what I so desperately wanted.
“Would you like to have us both, Charlotte? Your heart belongs to me, but your body can belong to both of us.”
Liam pulled me back against him roughly, his erection pressing into my ass, as Drake swiftly crossed the balcony to stand in front of me. He met Liam’s eyes briefly, an understanding passing between them. Then, without a word, Drake bent his head to take my lips in a rough kiss. Grabbing my face with both hands, he slanted my mouth to meet his and plunged his tongue inside. I groaned, so many fantasies coming to fruition, and brought my hands up to fist in the material of Drake’s shirt. Our tongues battled for dominance, and I bit down on his lip, hard, my passion overwhelming my senses.
“Fuck, Charlie,” Drake hissed, gripping me harder. Charlie. Drake’s nickname for me, the one he’d used since nearly the moment I stepped foot in Cordonia, before I fell in love with Liam, before I was a Queen. A name whispered over whiskey glasses, in train cars, when there was a chance –
“No.”
I pulled away, from Drake, from Liam, and moved to the balcony doors, my legs shaking beneath me. I had to leave, I had to get away from this situation and forget all about it, forget the feeling of Drake’s lips on my own. I was playing with fire by entertaining this idea; already, it had gone too far. Liam was my husband, the man to whom I had promised myself forever. My heart and my body belonged to him. I shook my head, rushing through the ballroom and keeping my head down so no one could see the emotions I knew must be written across my face. Continuing up the palace steps into our chambers, I slammed the door shut behind me and poured myself three fingers of whiskey, gulping them down before pouring three more.
And here I stood, sipping, unable to comprehend the events that had just transpired. My mind spun as I drank, the whiskey that coated my lips recalling the taste of Drake’s tongue as he explored my mouth. I closed my eyes and gave into the memory, feeling the fabric underneath my palms and the sensation of his hands on my face. I knew this was dangerous, yet I couldn’t get the man out of my head. His dark eyes, black with desire every time I met his gaze; his tousled chestnut hair, begging for me to run my fingers through it. Letting out a shuddering breath, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to move on unless I gave in to this indescribable need for Drake Walker.
I set down my glass just as a knock sounded at the door. Before I could open it, Liam walked through, followed by Drake. Both men wore matching looks of concern, and I realized that neither of them wanted to hurt me. This was their world and, now, it was mine as well. Perhaps I needed to start playing by a different set of rules. I smiled slightly as Liam crossed to me, while Drake closed the door and stood beside the bed.
“Charlotte, please, forgive me,” Liam murmured, taking me briefly in his arms, “my intention was never to hurt or upset you.” He pulled back to search my face, making sure I was okay. I leaned in to brush my lips across his. “There’s nothing to forgive, my love.”
Walking away from Liam, I perched on the edge of the bed and stared at the two men before me, the tension thick among us. I could deny my desire for them no more than I could deny my need to breathe. I opened my mouth and let the question slip from my lips, knowing once I spoke, my life would change forever.
“How would an open marriage work?”