Not Alone

A/N: So with Chapter 1 of Book 2 released, I decided to write another take on things and I was in the mood for some angst. This oneshot is NOT part of my The Edge of the World AU.

It’s mostly Hayden x MC-centric, friendship-wise of course. Oh and the events of the Eiffel Tower will be addressed, but in my version of events nothing went beyond kissing.

Summary: With Damien missing, Maya struggles to carry on with her life and she finds comfort in a friend.

Disclaimer: Characters/canon/game dialogue belong to Pixelberry

Two weeks ago…

After leaving the museum, the group had left the hotel they’d been staying in and moved to a different area to lie low. It had all happened so fast that there had been no time to react. While Nadia, Sloane and Steve panicked, Hayden and Maya had remained calm and reassured everyone; including the newly-discovered match.

Once they’d reached their new hotel, everything seemed to settle down as Sloane got to investigating. While everyone else was starting to cool down, the awful reality of the situation was beginning to settle in for Maya as she ran her fingers through her hair, pacing back and forth in her bedroom.

Now, Sloane was examining Dam- the match. A cold prickly sensation traveled down Maya’s face as she was forced to change her line of thought on that again. They’d found the control panel on his shoulder and confirmed that he was indeed a match and not their Damien. Ever since, Sloane had been delving into his programming, into his memories to figure out how all this had happened.

For Maya, all she could think about was where Damien was and what had happened to him. Different versions of events were flipping through her mind as she tried to process this. It still wasn’t clear when Damien could’ve been captured. It was either during their escape or sometime when they were in Paris. He had gone off on his own to meet his contacts several times. It could’ve happened anytime.

Everything seemed suspicious now. She mentally replayed every bit of their conversations, every move he had made, wondering where it all could’ve gone wrong. But in spite of it all, only one version seemed to stand out to her.

Dread creeped into her gut as another realization struck her. If Damien had gone missing at the facility, then her date at the Eiffel Tower had been with-

“Oh my god.” She gripped the edge of her dresser as she thought back to that night. A lot of strong words had been said that night – words meant only for Damien. And he hadn’t even been there to hear them. Her own words echoed in her mind as did his.

“I just want to make sure you want me for … me. The real me.”

“I really like you, Damien Nazario. You know that, right?”

Fortunately, nothing untoward had ever happened between them, but there had been kissing.

Suppressing a gag, her hands flew to her mouth as she thought of so many ways this could’ve gone because of her. “Oh god,” she whispered.

She’d kissed another man and she hadn’t even known it. And to make matters worse, Sloane had just found out that the match had been uploading video footage of them to Eros’ servers every night without the group’s knowledge. Eros’ staff had seen everything.

“No.” she felt the bile rise in her throat. “No, no no no …” she burst into her bathroom and yanked several tissues, scrubbing it against her face and her lips as she stared at herself in the mirror; as if somehow that would erase what had taken place.

Had they shown that footage to Damien? She already knew that they weren’t above emotional manipulation. What if Eros had selectively chosen what to make him watch? What had Damien seen? What did he think of her now? Was he angry with her? Did he think they were happy without him?

The tissues were getting wet with her tears and she threw them away, only to grab more and continue her frenzied scrubbing, paying little mind to her eye makeup starting to smear. She knew she was being irrational; surely Damien would understand. He wouldn’t blame her, right?

It wasn’t as though she’d done anything on purpose. Maya knew she’d been deceived, and had never felt so violated in her life. But that didn’t mean she could forgive herself if he’d been suffering somewhere else all this time while she’d been living it up in Paris.

Then as if she wasn’t spiraling enough into despair, another thought occurred to her.

If Damien was taken during the fight, then where was he? They had blown up the facility after escaping. If Damien had been left behind, was he taken somewhere else? Had he even made it out before the explosion?

Oh that was worse. So much worse.

Another wave of nausea overtook her. Then her stomach lurched and heaved. Dropping everything she was holding, Maya hunched over the sink and threw up; hot tears continuing to spill from her eyes as she whimpered.

She felt a strong pair of arms encircle her waist just as her knees buckled. Maya was hardly aware of what they were saying as she swayed in place.

“Deep breaths, Maya.” That voice – Damien’s voice – whispered to her as he rubbed her back gently.

“D-Damien?” she mumbled, somehow hoping this was just a nightmare from which she’d awakened.

He stiffened. “Actually …”

Maya instantly realized her mistake. With whatever strength she had, she snarled and turned to shove him away, gripping the counter to steady herself. “Go away! Leave me alone!” she cried.

The rest of her friends rushed into the room, asking if she was all right. She continued to cry and protest when they tried to get through to her. “No, I don’t want to be touched, nobody touch me!” Maya could hear them all saying they were here for her, that they had her back. All of them.

Except Damien. He was gone. And she hadn’t even realized that she’d lost him. Possibly because of one choice she’d made.

Hayden rushed forward and caught Maya just as she collapsed to the floor, digging her fingers into the bathroom mat, and broke into harsh, wracking sobs. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders from behind and held her waist with another arm as he soothed her, telling her that everything would be okay.

——————————

Present Day…

Two weeks. It had been two, soul-crushing weeks since that day at the Louvre. Everyone’s lives had turned upside down upon learning the truth of the person they’d thought was Damien.

Everything they thought they’d known was thrown into question; who they could trust, how they could have possibly missed this. Each of them was forced to relive awful memories of that facility they’d rather have forgotten in order to retrace their steps. It all came down to one conclusion – their escape. It had been a chaotic fight and everyone had scattered in a mess of fog and machinery as they’d fought off androids and guards, one after and other.

They’d lost sight of Damien during the fight, but because they’d been preoccupied with the controls to shut down Operation Hivemend, no one had noticed. And it killed them to think that way now.

Steve and Nadia were the first ones on the elevator and they’d blamed themselves for not keeping a proper eye on everyone. Sloane felt that she of all people should’ve recognized the signs that Dames was a Match. Hayden had also been angered by the turn of events, but his logical persona had compelled him to talk sense into everyone. He’d worked to keep everyone united, grounded.

Maya was devastated. Initially, it hadn’t fully sunk in what had happened. She hadn’t even acknowledged Dames’ existence. At the time, she’d wanted to believe he was still her Damien, but something had been done to him. Right? Something that could be fixed? Except it couldn’t. Something had happened, but not something she could fix right here and now.

No, now it was just a waiting game. Until Sloane found new information, there was nothing any of them could do. Nadia had thrown herself fully into her art while Hayden and Steve had taken charge of running things around the place.

And Maya? She’d spent the first week in her room, refusing to get out of bed except for the basic routine; brushing her teeth, showering, eating. The same endless limbo over and over. Nadia frequently slept in her room to give her company, keep her from clamming up. But for many days, sleep wouldn’t come, so she’d ended up staying up with Sloane who was working around the clock to find answers from Dames.

Dames had been besides himself with guilt, and she could see it. He’d tied himself to the chair in a separate room at all times and took every opportunity to avoid looking at anyone, knowing that everything he saw, Eros could see. Maya never blamed him for these events, but it was still hard to look at him without being reminded of Damien and whatever fate had had in store for him.

Everyone’s mood had been melancholic at first, but then it became clear that they needed to keep each other strong and maintain some level of normalcy to get anywhere in their search for answers.

With Eros receiving video footage of all of them, the last thing they needed was for them to get the satisfaction of breaking the group. Maya had understood and agreed, but it was much easier said than done to put on a brave front for the cameras. She even made peace with Dames and started including him in the group more.

Maya’s friends constantly surrounded her, forced her to engage during the day. Hayden frequently invited her on excursions in the city and Nadia also went out of her way to involve everyone with participating in artwork and advertising it. It was all surprisingly therapeutic, considering-

“Hey,” Hayden’s voice jolted her out of her thoughts. “Banana and berry smoothie for tomorrow?”

Maya took a second too long to answer. “Sounds good,” she said, forcing a smile. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything.

She was walking in silence with Hayden as they strolled through the market. They weaved between different food booths, choosing groceries for making dinner tonight. Or rather Hayden did the choosing. Maya just followed him around as he spoke with different vendors.

“How’s Nadia holding up?” he asked.

“She’s stressing, but hasn’t progressed to Phase Three yet.”

Hayden raised an eyebrow. “Phase Three?”

“Claiming her problems are a sign that humanity can no longer form meaningful connections, and that people have stopped understanding each other on a spiritual level.” Maya’s tone was casual, which showed how accustomed she’d become to her cousin’s antics whenever she would fly off the handle.

He was watching her with wide eyes as he processed all that. “That’s … morbid.”

Maya chuckled a little too loudly. “Yeah, she’s not always sunshine and rainbows.”

She noticed a couple pass by them, hands intertwined, as they talked and laughed with each other; telling jokes most likely. She tried not to sigh unhappily as she watched them revel in each other’s company. Maya turned back just in time to catch Hayden’s eyes on her and she shook her head, a silent indication that she was fine, before focusing on selecting the necessary ingredients on their shopping list.

The sound of music got their attention and they paused by a harmonica and violinist duo surrounded by an enthralled crowd. Hayden was humming along with the joyous tune they were playing. “Car ma vie, car me joies … Aujourd’hui, ca commence avec toi.”

“That was nice. What does that mean?

“Because my life, my joys … today they begin with you.”

She smiled weakly. “That’s beautiful.”

He glimpsed at the musicians before turning to Maya extending a hand to her. “Come on, dance with me.”

“Oh Hayden, do we really need to-”

“Trust me Maya, it’ll be fun! Loosen up a little!”

Rolling her eyes, she took his outstretched hand and watched as he playfully swung her to the beat of the song. Maya moved along with him, halfheartedly at first. From the corner of her eye, she could see people watching them with smiles on their faces. A smile of her own tugged at her lips, soon changing to laughter and she looked back to Hayden, who beamed at her as he led her into a twirl.

Once the song ended, he let her go and left some change for the artists. Maya tucked her hair behind her ear as he walked back, pointing at her face. “Look at that,” he chuckled. “Your first smile of the day.”

At that, she sobered and focused her glance elsewhere. “Hayden …”

“Maya, I understand how you feel.” he said sympathetically. “I know that continuing our lives, not knowing what’s happened to Damien, feels wrong. But everyone’s dire mood during the first week didn’t help either.”

“I know, you’re right.” She felt her eyes stinging and blinked rapidly to force it down. Nothing about this was right no matter how they handled it. “I guess we just have to thread in between,”  she said ruefully. “Minimize the daily breakdowns and find the small joys …”

“Exactly,” he replied. “When you keep your head above water, Maya, you remind the rest of us that it’s possible.”

“Thanks, Hayden.”

——————————

After grocery shopping, Maya had wanted to go back to the hotel, but somehow had gotten talked into a shopping trip and a quick visit to the Arc de Triomphe. Hayden was radiating so much optimism the entire way that she ultimately couldn’t say no. By the end of it all, her feet were aching; though the majestic setting made it worth it.

“This place gives Top of the Rock a run for its money!” she exclaimed as she admired the beautiful landmark.

He nodded, stretching out his arms as he walked forward; though Maya was positive it was just an effort to show off the fancy new outfit he’d bought to the crowd of tourists nearby. “We’ve been here for less than ten seconds and it’s already my favorite place in Paris.”

“Really? More than Pont Alexandre III?”

He paused and turned to her, frowning inquisitively, then smiled again. “A tie then.”

They spent the next few minutes walking around the Arc, admiring the detailed sculptures and high pillars; reading different explanations and listening in on discussions over various historic events. As the crowds thinned out and the evening winded down, Maya thought back to their friends back at the hotel.

“So, you think Sloane’s going to make progress with Dames today?” she asked.

“I hope so,” Hayden nodded solemnly. “We can’t take action without confirming why Eros wants him with us.”

“Take action?” She felt her heart sink. Maya knew he was right, but it had already been a couple of weeks. How much longer did they have to go on in this endless limbo before finally getting some answers? How was she supposed to keep carrying on like this, wondering what was happening to Damien?

How long was Damien supposed to suffer in the mean time? After so long with no word from anyone, was he going to think that everyone had given up on him? That she had given up on him? That he was going to die alone there? Were they already too late? A dull ache formed in her chest as these thoughts were swimming through her mind.

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry, Maya” Hayden spoke, looking at her despondent face before staring ahead. “I understand parts of what Dames is feeling. Out of place, scared … and it makes me sympathetic to his cause.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “He was designed to fool us. Perhaps even exploit what he’s learned when the time comes.”

“You think he could turn on us?”

“It’s hard to know for sure. Kindness is good … But we also have to be cautious.”

“Yeah, I guess,” She sighed. “But honestly, I’m mostly worried about Damien.” The admission itself seemed to tear at her resolve. Then she felt a lump in her throat. “Hayden, I-” she swallowed hard, but the heaviness in her chest grew worse and her eyes started to burn with tears she’d been trying to suppress at every chance she could. “I’m sorry, I-”

Hayden noticed and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey …” He pulled her into a gentle hug. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Maya covered her mouth with her hand as she started to shake. “I want him back, Hayden,” she sobbed quietly as the tears began to spill. “I need him back now, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

He rubbed her back gently as he consoled her. “You’ll get him back Maya. Stay strong. If not for the rest of us then for him.”

“I just-” she inhaled sharply. “I need to know he’s okay. We blew up the facility and he was-”

“Maya, don’t think so much. Sloane told us remember? Everyone had evacuated when-”

“I know what she said!” Maya buried her face into his chest, muffling her raised voice. “But I still need to see him for myself, I want him- I need him!” She was hiccuping between sobs every now and then as she tried to get words out.

“No one is happy about not knowing, believe me.” He said. Hayden took her face in his hands, compelling her to look at him. “Now more than ever, we need to stay level-headed. Us falling apart is exactly what Eros wants. Do you really wanna give them that satisfaction?”

“No, what I want is to go back in time and take out Rowan’s other eye.” Maya sniffled, wiping her eyes and fixating her glance on her shoes again. “At least so he wouldn’t be able to see Damien when his guards are probably doing god-knows-what to-”

“Don’t freak yourself out, Maya.” Hayden cut her off gently, though a smile curved at his lips at the memory of dinner with Rowan West and the chaos they’d caused. “This is Damien Nazario, we’re talking about. He’ll be okay. I haven’t known him as long as you have and I believe in him. You should do the same.”

“I do believe in him, it’s just-” She pressed her lips together before continuing. “All I can think about is how cruel and cunning Eros is. We left him with Rowan and Cecile …” Then she looked back up at him, her vision blurred through her tears. “Do you think they’re hurting him? A couple weeks is plenty of time to break someone.”

Hayden’s eyes narrowed. There was a brief flash in his eyes as he seemed to consider that. “Not if that someone’s Damien.” He said firmly. “He’s been trained to pull through situations like this. We have to believe that.”

Maya sighed heavily, the tension in her body refusing to let up even as she leaned against Hayden. He pulled away from her slightly, but kept his arm around her shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. “I was hoping our day out would help take your mind off of things … ” His eyebrows were arched sadly and guilt traced his features. “But maybe that wasn’t the right call.”

Maya took a deep, shaky breath and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” She said. “I’m kinda glad you’re making me go places. If I stay in that room all day, I’ll probably go crazy.” Even as she said that, her thoughts drifted right back to Damien being in that exact situation; stuck in a cold, dark room – a cell; alone, wounded, starving maybe? Who knew? She wiped her eyes furiously, trying to push those images out of her mind.

“We will find Damien, Maya.” Hayden’s soft voice pulled her out of her daze. “And everything’s going to be okay. Just … Look up.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” Maya didn’t move at first, thinking he’d meant that figuratively. But then she felt him nudge her and then did as she said only to be greeted by the intricate sculptures of roses on the ceiling. She sucked in a breath and couldn’t help smiling at the marvelous sight. “Wow …” she murmured. “Twenty one roses?”

“Twenty two,” Hayden said with a bright smile. Maya turned to look at him curiously only to be met with a yellow rose he was holding out to her. “Yellow,” he smiled at her tenderly. “For friendship.”

She took the rose, her shoulders suddenly feeling a lot lighter than before. “Have you been carrying this around the whole day?” Maya looked to him, amazed.

Hayden averted his eyes innocently in another direction. “No?” he attempted a mock clueless look and she laughed wholeheartedly for the first time in days.

“Thank you so much, Hayden.”

He nodded, visibly pleased that he’d managed to cheer her up. “Look this might be the millionth time you’ve heard it, but I can tell you’ve been blaming yourself for what’s happened.” He said earnestly. “I just want you to know that none of this is your fault. If anyone is to be blamed, it’s Eros for not being able to resist tampering with people’s lives.”

He paused to let those words sink in. “Also, you’re not alone in this and neither is Damien. We’re your friends and we’ll always have your back. You’re gonna get through this, okay?”

Maya’s lips quivered and this time the tears that rolled down her cheeks were those of joy. She nodded and hugged him tightly, feeling blessed to have such wonderful people with her during these difficult times.

Soon, it was time to head back to the hotel and they walked back together chatting animatedly and taking in the glamorous city.

Paris was truly a beautiful place and since she was a teenager, Maya had dreamed of visiting Paris with the man she loved. Though thanks to Eros, that dream had come true only to be shattered within a matter of days. Without Damien, the splendor of the life here felt meaningless to enjoy and it definitely didn’t feel like something she deserved, knowing what Damien was going through.

But now, while it was still not the same without him, Maya could at least take comfort in the fact that she had the rest of her friends to lean on for support the same way they’d had to lean on her when this entire mess had started back in New York.

As she headed back to the small suite where her friends were, something in the air seemed to change. Maya felt a mix of both hope and dread as she approached the door, picking up on tensed voices from beyond the door. She wasn’t sure what she was about to find out, but she could already feel a renewed vigor rising in her that she hadn’t felt in a while. Whatever it was, she was determined to face it with her friends, standing tall. Together.

For Damien. For all of them.

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