Summary: Riley has realized a little too late she shouldn’t marry Maxwell. She seeks advice from a trusted friend before having the hardest conversation of her life.
Riley was a mess. She knew had to talk to him. He was the only person who could help her see this objectively. She practically ran down the palace hallways, barefoot and clad only in her silk robe, to get there before she broke down. She knocked on his door praying he would answer and let her in before one of the palace guards came by to check out the commotion. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and tears starting to well in her eyes.
“Come on, please open the door,” she muttered under hear breath. She was just about to give up and run who knows where when the door opened.
“Brooks, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting your beauty sleep? And why aren’t you dressed?” Drake was wearing pajama shorts, his eyes heavy with sleep. He looked her up and down and stopped on her face, probably noticing the look of despair. “Never mind, just come in and we can talk about it.” He stepped aside and motioned for her to enter. Riley sat on the bed and Drake sat down with a respectable distance between them. “So, do you feel like telling me what’s going on? I assume you need something if you are here at this hour, the night before your wedding, talking to me instead of your fiance. Did Maxwell do something to you?”
Riley shook her head no and burst into tears, letting it all pour out. “It’s not him,” she let out between sobs. “It’s me. I’m a terrible person.”
Drake tentatively wrapped his arms around her. “No matter what happened, I know that’s not true.” Riley inched closer and buried her head in his chest and the tears poured out even faster. Drake tightened his embrace, his touch absorbing at least a bit of her pain.” Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
Riley remained motionless until she could speak coherently again. She sat up and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “I thought I could do it Drake. I thought I wanted to. I told myself I was over Liam and that Maxwell would make me happier, but I don’t know if that’s true anymore.”
“Oh…the timing is pretty shitty, isn’t it?…I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant-”
“No, you’re right,” Riley interjected. “You’d think I could have realized this before now, but then I slept with Liam…” It slipped out before she had a chance to think about it.
“Yeah, he, uh told me about that.” Drake ran a hand through his hair. “Turns out he’s not over you either. Not even a little.”
“Shit.” Riley sighed deeply. She should have been happy that Liam returned her feelings, but it only made her feel guiltier. “I thought I needed to be with him one last time just to get it out of my system. To prove that any lingering feelings were purely physical, but it’s so much deeper than that. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have known better.”
“You can’t beat yourself up over it, Brooks. Liam told me Maxwell gave you permission. There was obviously a reason both of you allowed it to happen.”
“We never discussed specifically who I would be sleeping with, but yeah, he knew it would be Liam. Maxwell has been so insecure about it since, and I thought it was all on him, but now I realize it was me. He knew my heart wasn’t one hundred percent in it, I think even before I did…But Maxwell is a wonderful man. He deserves the world. If Liam wasn’t in the picture, I’d happily marry Maxwell…” Riley trailed off thinking about all the what-ifs.
“But Liam is in the picture.” Drake finished the sentence for her. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I don’t think you should marry Maxwell tomorrow. You, him, Liam…you’ll all end up miserable.”
“But how can I break it off with Maxwell? The whole country is expecting us to get married tomorrow. I just want to run away back to New York and hide. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this.”
“Brooks, you’re the strongest woman I know. You came here on your own and won over just about everyone you’ve met. You faced assassins coming for your head, and helped save my life when I got shot. You are a duchess now, you can’t just leave. People are counting on you…But I know this has all happened so fast. You have to do what you need to do.”
“Ugh, Drake, why do you always have to be so logical about things?”
“Heh,” Drake chuckled. “I’m guessing that’s why you came to me with this before anyone else, isn’t it?”
“I needed someone who wouldn’t just tell me what I want to hear.”
“I’ve heard brutal honesty is one of my charms.” Drake laughed and Riley followed. “It’s good to see you smile, even just a little.”
“You’ve been such a good friend to me Drake.”
“Just returning the favor, Brooks. Maxwell and I have become closer, in part due to you. But Liam is like my brother, and knowing the two of you like I do, you belong together.”
“We truly are meant to be together, aren’t we?” Riley asked rhetorically.
“No use fighting fate. Not trying to get rid of you so soon, but I suppose you probably need to talk to Maxwell sooner rather than later. You want me to walk you back?”
“Thanks Drake, but I think I need to do this on my own. I promise I won’t run directly to the airport.” Riley squeezed her arms around Drake before getting up to leave.
“Good luck Brooks. I’ll be here if you need me.”
Riley walked back to Maxwell’s room much slower than when she left, her anxiety increasing with each step. She fought the urge to make the turn to her room and deal with everything in the morning. She opened the door with hesitation, not sure what to expect from Maxwell when he saw her. He nerves were temporarily calmed when she saw him sleeping. Maybe she could write him a note and leave it on his pillow. No, that would be too cold and cowardly. She felt like she wanted to vomit as she crept closer to wake him. Her hand hovered over his shoulder, trying to prolong the pain as long as possible, but there wasn’t time to waste. She shook his shoulder and called his name. “Maxwell, Maxwell!”
“Wha- oh, Riley. You’re back.” He wore his ever present smile, but it quickly faded as he focused on her. “You look worse than when you left. Have you been crying?”
“Maxwell, we need to talk.“
Maxwell sat up in the bed and Riley climbed in next to him. “Okay…I’m not psychic, but I’m guessing this isn’t a good talk.”
Riley clasped her hands around his. “Maxwell, you know I’ve appreciated how you’ve always been there for me. When Liam chose Madeleine at the coronation, you were there to pick up the pieces. I think…um…god, I don’t know how to say this. I think, maybe I was confused. I needed someone, and you were there. I thought it was love but…”
“You never actually loved me.” Maxwell finished her thought, his voice flat and his expression stoic. “Not in the way I loved you.”
Riley felt her eyes welling up once again, but she tried to hold back. She didn’t want Maxwell to think she was looking for sympathy when she didn’t deserve it. “I’m so, so, sorry Maxwell, but I can’t go through with the wedding. It just wouldn’t be right. I do love you, but what you said is true. It’s not the way you deserve to be loved.”
“I see…Well then, I think you should go and we can deal with the mess in the morning.” His demeanor was unchanged.
Riley wasn’t certain what she expected. Crying? Pleading? Yelling? Instead she got nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Maxwell who was always charismatic and wore his heart on his sleeve, had shut down completely. She didn’t want to push him, but she couldn’t leave him utterly broken. “Maxwell, is that really all you have to say? Please, say something. Tell me what an awful person I am-”
“You want me to get upset and let it all out just so you feel better?” Maxwell snapped at her. “I’m sorry, but can you blame me if I don’t want to talk to you about it with you right now?”
Maxwell showed more anger just now than she had ever seen from him, which was oddly comforting. Maxwell had a point. She did want to know that he would be okay, but she couldn’t help that it was partially for selfish reasons because this was her fault. She wanted to absolve herself of some of the guilt, but it wasn’t on Maxwell to do it for her. “Okay, I’ll go. We should both get some sleep so we can handle this tomorrow. Riley turned and the tears immediately fell once more. She tried remain silent but the movements of her heaving sobs gave her away.
“Riley, wait…” Maxwell called after her. “I want to hate you right now, but I don’t…I can’t. I pushed you towards Liam because I was worried your heart was still with him. I can’t let you take all the blame for this. Maybe if Liam weren’t a factor it would be different…but I can’t fault you for following your heart, especially when I helped lead you in that direction.” Maxwell motioned for Riley sit down next to him and he enveloped her in his arms. She heard Maxwell sniffle and she looked up to see his eyes glistening. Upon seeing her, he finally let the dam break. They held each other close as the minute after minute passed.
“I don’t deserve you Maxwell.”
“But you do. You are an amazing woman, and before your were my fiance, you were my best friend. I can’t say we will get back to that as soon as tomorrow, but I still want you in my life – if you’ll have me.”
“Of course Maxwell. At the heart of this, you were always my best friend. I’ll give you all the time and space you need, but when you are ready, I’ll be here.”
“I really should go this time.” Riley pulled out of his hold. “See you in the morning and we can sort all this out.”
“Yeah, see you,” Maxwell said with a weak smile. “Goodnight, Riley.”
She was drained both physically and mentally. She should have just gone to back to her room to sleep, but her night wasn’t over yet. There was one more person she needed to see.