Never a Fairytale
By Misha
Disclaimer- Not mine. I’m just borrowing them for a little while and will return them when I am finished.
Author’s Notes- This is my entry for Day 22 of my January writing challenge. This is an alternative to Chapter 16 of Book 2 and was based on a conversation with @violet about how the only way I would have been ok with still having the option to sleep with Liam after rejecting his proposal was if there had been another reason to say no instead of being in love with someone else and then this incredibly angsty fic was born. This is an AU obviously become in my game, and most of my stories, Eleanor accepted Liam’s proposal enthusiastically.
Pairing- Liam/MC
Summary- Liam proposes and Eleanor realizes she can’t accept, no matter how much she loves him.
Rating- PG
Words- 889
Liam gazed up at her hopefully, love shining out of his eyes as he asked her to be his wife.
The “yes, yes, yes” hovered on her lips but Eleanor couldn’t bring herself to say it. She loved Liam with all her heart, but… She couldn’t marry him.
She hadn’t realized it until this moment, but the doubts had been setting in for months since the Coronation. The public humiliation, the way the court had turned on her, and to know that the former King had set her up because he saw her as a liability…
Plus there was everything she had learned about Cordonia and it’s political instability, the attack on Liam’s mother, the one of the Royal Family. That news had brought back the nightmares, the ones that had haunted her after her parents’ deaths. But she had pushed through, reminding herself of how much she loved Liam and she’d really thought she could do it. Until now.
“I can’t…” She gasped out, tears in her eyes. “I can’t marry you.”
“What?” Liam asked in shock. “Why not?”
“Because I can’t be Queen,” she said softly, “I can’t do it, Liam. I thought I could, but the idea of living with bodyguards and the constant fear of danger or scandal, of bringing children into that world… I can’t.”
“Eleanor…” Liam pleaded.
“It’s not that I don’t love you,” Eleanor told him desperately, “I do. I just… I don’t want to be with you, or rather I don’t want everything that comes with you.”
She looked away, unable to meet his gaze as she said those words. This was the most romantic proposal possible and it should have been the happiest moment of her life, but… Instead, it was a nightmare. The love story had turned into a tragedy of her own making.
“Would you at least consider coming back to Cordonia?” Liam asked quietly. “I had planned on naming you a duchess as an engagement gift and I would still be happy to do so.”
The pleading look on her face broke his heart. It was obvious that he loved her so much, that he was willing to take whatever she could give him.
“I don’t know,” she said finally, “can I think about it?”
“Of course,” Liam told her as he put the ring in his pocket. “I had arranged for us to have a private viewing at the top, but I understand if you are not up for it. However, I would still like to spend the evening with you.”
“That sounds lovely,” Eleanor told him, she knew it was selfish, but she wasn’t ready to let him go.
They walked to the top in silence. They stared out at the city, exchanging stilted conversation.
“This did not work out the way I expected,” Liam said ruefully, “but I can’t bring myself to regret it. I could never regret knowing you, Eleanor.”
“I could never regret knowing you either,” Eleanor assured him, taking his hand. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, that he would always be the love of her life, but she knew those words weren’t fair to him.
“If I wasn’t king…” He began.
She cut him off. “But you are. You are King, Liam, and Cordonia needs you. I can’t ask you to give that up for me.”
“I know,” he said with a heavy sigh, still grasping her hands. ”I won’t pressure you to change your mind because I understand that this life isn’t an easy one.”
There was so much pain in his voice and Eleanor couldn’t resist the urge to try and sooth him, she leaned forward brushing her lips against his.
Liam immediately deepened the kiss, crushing her to him and then just as suddenly he pulled away. “Eleanor… I thought…”
“I can’t marry you,” she told him, “but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you and I still want you.”
“I want you too,” Liam told her desperately, “enough to take whatever you can give me.”
It was those words and the desperation in his voice that had her pulling back.
“This isn’t fair to you,” she realized, “you deserve better than this.”
“Eleanor…”
“I love you, Liam,” she said gently, placing her hand on his face, “and that means I should treat you with respect and consider your feelings, not just what I want. This isn’t what you need.”
“You are what I need,” he told her.
“I can’t be,” Eleanor said, trying to fight back tears. “I think we should go now.”
Liam nodded. “Will you at least consider my offer?”
Eleanor nodded, but she already knew what she would say. She couldn’t go back to Cordonia, she knew that now because she and Liam wouldn’t be able to stay away from each other and it would just prolong the heartbreak.
No, they needed a clean break. However, she wasn’t willing to say that now, Liam had been hurt enough for one night.
The ride back to the hotel was silent, the air tragic and she was sure that they were both reflecting on the turn of events. This wasn’t how the story was supposed to end and yet, maybe it was how it was always meant to end.
Maybe it was never a fairytale, but always a tragedy in disguise.
- End
