Summary: On the night of Zack’s birthday, decisions are made–but are they made too late?
“What is this club called again?” Emma called through her bedroom door to Zig.
“Um …” Zig called back as he pulled out his phone to check the text message. “Bouteille?”
“Boo-tay? Like a booty call?”
“No, I think it’s French.
“Leave it to Zack to pick something French and ridiculous for his birthday party,” Emma called. Zig smirked just as Emma opened her bedroom door. Zig’s eyes grew wide when he saw her wearing a tight black dress that traced her curves and ended mid-thigh.
“Hey, would you mind?” she asked, turning her back to him. Zig was so distracted by her dress that it took him a moment to realize it was only half-zipped.
“Oh,” he said. “Sure.”
He stepped forward and it took all of his restraint to resist the urge to pull the zipper back down and slide his hands inside the dress. Instead, Zig grasped the zipper firmly, but it barely moved. Zig frowned at it. He put a hand on her hip to steady her as he tugged harder on the zipper, slowly pulling it higher.
“God, are you sure you can breathe in this thing?” Zig asked.
“Nope,” Emma said. “But Zack requested I wear a little black dress and this is all I have.”
“What the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets?”
“Exactly.”
Zig finally worked the zipper all the way to the top and fasted the tiny button at the collar. He smoothed the fabric on her shoulders.
“You’re all set,” he said.
“Thanks,” Emma said, turning around to face him. Neither of them moved, the air between them thick and anticipatory.
“You look really nice,” Zig said, breaking the moment and taking a step backwards as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I feel a little underdressed next to you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you look great,” Emma said. “Besides, I see you swapped your Converse for dress shoes, so for you, you’re practically wearing a tuxedo.”
“Ha ha,” Zig said drily. “Are you ready? I want to get there before Zack has too many brightly colored drinks to remember we came.”
Emma ducked back into her bedroom and grabbed her purse.
“Yup,” she said. “Let’s go.”
When Zig and Emma arrived at Bouteille, Zack was already on his second brightly colored drink.
“You made it!” Zack exclaimed, too loud even with the pulsing dance music that throbbed throughout the club like a heartbeat.
“Of course we did!” Emma said, wrapping him in a huge hug. “Happy birthday, Zack.”
“Yeah, happy birthday,” Zig said, reaching over to squeeze Zack’s shoulder. “Where is everyone?”
“Abbie, Tyler, and Kaitlyn are all dancing,” Zack said, pointing. “I took a break to refuel.” He held up his drink as proof.
“That’s a good idea,” Zig said. “Zack, you look like you’re all set. Emma? Do you want a drink?”
“Sure, thanks,” Emma said, smiling at him. Zig turned to walk away and Emma watched him make his way through the crowd. As he faded away towards the bar, Emma suddenly became aware of Zack staring at her. “What?” she asked self-consciously.
“Did you guys come here together?” Zack asked. “Like together-together?”
“No,” Emma said quickly. “We’re roommates, we carpooled. It’s no big deal.”
“Kaitlyn said you guys kissed.”
“What?!” Emma exclaimed, scanning the crowd on the dance floor. “God, I’m going to kill her.”
“Oh, come on, don’t be mad at her,” Zack said. “I should be mad at you for not telling me yourself!”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I just … I don’t know if it means anything yet.”
“Um, he’s in love with you, of course it means something.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Emma, he’s had a thing for you since the day you met,” Zack said, rolling his eyes.
“How does everyone know this but me?” Emma demanded.
“Because you’re oblivious,” Zack said with a grin, patting her head. Emma swatted his hand away and laughed. He glanced over towards the bar and saw Zig making his way back with a couple of drinks in his hand. “Okay, quick, before he gets back here–how was the kiss?”
“Zack! I don’t kiss and tell!”
“Emma, it’s my birthday and I don’t have the patience for you to be demure today.”
Emma sighed.
“The best of my life.”
After being coerced into dancing by Zack, Emma found she was having fun on the dance floor. Abbie and Tyler had peeled off from the group ages ago, leaving Emma with Kaitlyn, Zack, and Zig. They had all been dancing together but as the night wore on in the shifting crowd, Emma realized Kaitlyn and Zack were beginning to drift away from her and she was just dancing with Zig. She danced closer to him, feeling emboldened by the drinks she’d had as the lights flashed across the crowd. Zig slid an arm around her waist, pulling her even closer. The club was hot and his t-shirt was damp with sweat. Emma slid her hand around the back of his neck and she felt Zig’s hand on her thigh, his fingertips grazing her skin just below the hem of her dress. He pressed his cheek against hers, his breath on her ear, and Emma desperately wanted to kiss him again. She was about to when she remembered his words after their last kiss.
“If we do this, I want to be all in. You jump, I jump, Jack.”
Emma wanted to jump, really wanted to jump, but she just couldn’t do it. Not yet. She pulled away from Zig.
“I’m going to go get a glass of water,” Emma said. “Can I get you anything from the bar?”
Zig blinked as if just remembering where he was.
“I’ll go with you,” he offered.
“No, I–” Emma started to say when suddenly a tall blond guy swooped in and hugged Zig.
“Hey, long time no see,” the guy said, kissing Zig’s cheek. It took Zig a moment to place him.
“Alex!”
“Adam,” the guy corrected. “You never called me! I thought we had a good time.”
Emma slowly backed away, making her way through the crowd towards the bar.
“Emma!” Zig called after her, but his voice was drowned out by the music and soon she melted into the crowd.
Emma stood at the bar, trying to clear her head. What had that been about? If Zig was so into her, why was he hooking up with other people? You have no right to be jealous she scolded herself. He’s not yours. She turned her attention back to the bar and was waiting her turn when she felt someone tap her shoulder. Emma turned around, expecting to see Zig, but instead found herself face to face with James.
“James!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“Zack invited me,” he said, his hands nervously tucked into his pockets. “I didn’t know if it’d be okay if I came or not.”
“Of course it is,” Emma said. “We’re all friends, right?”
“Are we? Friends?” James asked.
“Sure, why not?” Emma asked.
“Can we talk?”
“Now?”
“Yeah. Not in here though, maybe outside?”
Emma glanced towards Zig and saw he was still talking to the blond guy, who still had his arm wrapped around Zig’s waist.
“Sure, let’s go.”
A chilly fall breeze had begun to blow in earnest outside the club, so James suggested they sit in his car and talk. They climbed in and James cranked up the heater.
“That feels a lot better,” Emma said, holding out her chilly fingers in front of the vent. They sat in silence for awhile, the only sound around them was the whoosh of the warm air and the rumble of the engine. “So, you wanted to talk?”
“Do you remember the night we saw that really terrible movie?” he asked.
“You’re going to have to be more specific.”
“The one about the guy who inherits an aquarium.”
Emma laughed.
“Oh, right. Yes, I remember the movie,” she said.
“Do you remember what happened after the movie?
Emma thought back and remembered the drive back to campus, the way she’d leaned over as he drove, kissing his neck, biting his ear, her hand on the outside of his jeans.
“Emma, I’m driving,” he’d protested, his smile belying his words. “This isn’t safe.”
Emma had grinned mischievously and undid his belt, sliding down the zipper before letting her hand explore inside his boxers.
“Do you want me to stop?” she’d asked, running her fingers along his length. He’d already been hard.
“We’re almost back to campus,” James had said. “We can take this back to your dorm.”
“I don’t think I want to wait,” she’d whispered, pulling him free of his pants. James had bit his lip, keeping his eyes intently focused on the road. Emma had leaned down and kissed the tip before running her lips and tongue up and down his length.
“We should–”James had started to say before Emma had taken him in her mouth and the rest of his words faded into a moan. James had quickly pulled into a nearby parking lot and parked the car, leaning back in his seat once the car was safely stopped. One hand had been tangled in Emma’s hair and he’d slid the other into her jeans, grabbing a handful of her backside. She’d kept a steady rhythm until she felt him getting close, his fingers twisting tighter in her hair. Emma had moaned as she brought him closer, the vibrations finally pushing him over the edge. When she was done she’d sat back in her own seat, watching him try to catch his breath.
“Best. Movie date. Ever,” he’d finally said.
“Yes, I remember that night,” she said, unsure of where this was going.
“That was the night I knew I was in love with you,” James said.
“Yeah, road head will do that,” Emma said, rolling her eyes.
“What? Oh no, not that,” James said. “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that a lot. I meant what happened back in your dorm room, just before we fell asleep.”
Emma remembered having sex that night, but she couldn’t remember what had happened between that and falling asleep. Noticing her silence, James continued.
“We were lying in bed and you had your head on my chest. We were talking about my play and I was telling you how nervous I was that we weren’t going to be able to pull this off, and how maybe the play wasn’t as good as I hoped it was. I was so terrified to try something new. And then you picked up you head, turned my face to look at you, and you told me that everything was going to be okay. I asked how you knew that, and you said that you knew because no matter what, you were going to make it okay.”
“And that’s when you knew?” Emma asked.
“That’s when I knew.”
Their conversation lapsed into silence again.
“James, why are you telling me this?”
He sighed.
“You’ve always been able to make everything okay for me,” he said. “Now that we’re broken up … on a break … whatever this is, I feel like things don’t make a lot of sense anymore.” James reached for her hand. “Emma, I don’t want to be on a break. I want to go back to the way things were before I went to California. I love you. I want to be with you.”
“James,” Emma said gently. “I don’t think we can go back. Too much has happened, and I … this time apart has put things into perspective for me, and I don’t think this is the relationship I want. I’m sorry.”
James stared out the windshield, lost in thought.
“Is there someone else?” he asked quietly. Emma’s first thought was to lie, there was no sense in hurting James if she didn’t have to, but before she could tell him no, the truth fell out of her lips.
“Yes,” she said.
James nodded.
“I feel like I should be angry, but I’m just sad,” he said, still staring out the windshield.
“James–”
“I’ll be okay,” he said, turning to face her with a small smile as he squeezed her hand. “I promise.”
Emma turned to get out of the car when he stopped her, cupping her face in his hands as he kissed her softly for the last time. He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment.
“Goodbye, Emma.”
“Goodbye, James.”
Emma got out of James’s car and headed back inside to find her friends. She located them at the bar, doing shots of something blue.
“Emma!” Zack shouted gleefully. “Do a shot with us!”
“Maybe in a minute,” she said. “Have you seen Zig?”
“Didn’t he find you?” Kaitlyn asked.
“Find me?”
“Yeah, he went outside looking for you,” Kaitlyn said. Emma felt a terrible sinking feeling in her stomach.
“Shit,” Emma said. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go. Happy birthday, Zack,” she said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek before she hurried out of the club and hailed a cab.
When Emma arrived back at the apartment, all the lights were off except for the lamp on the end table. She could feel her fingers trembling as she walked over to Zig’s door. She was about to knock when a thought suddenly occurred to her: What if he wasn’t alone? Emma hesitated, frozen with uncertainty. She pressed her ear to the door, but didn’t hear anything. Of course, that didn’t necessarily mean Zig was alone. Emma took a step back from the door and bit her lip nervously. Should she knock? Should she wait until the morning? No, this couldn’t wait. Emma stepped up to the door resolutely and raised her hand to knock when suddenly the door opened.
“Aaaah!” Emma shouted as she jumped back, startled.
“Emma, what are you doing?” Zig asked, looking exasperated.
“I was trying to decide if I should knock or not.”
“I could see your shadow under the door and it’s not like your high heels are exactly quiet on wood floors,” he said, pointing to her feet. “What do you want?”
“I … Zig, are you mad at me?” Emma asked. Zig sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“No, I’m not mad,” he said, his voice softer. “I just saw … you know what, nevermind, it doesn’t matter what I saw.”
“Zig, James and I are done. Officially,” she said. Zig smirked.
“You didn’t look very done.”
“That was a goodbye.”
“That’s not how I say goodbye,” Zig said tartly.
“God dammit, Zig!” Emma practically shouted. “I ended things with James because of how I feel about you!”
“I told you, I don’t want to be your rebound,” Zig said.
“You’re not a rebound,” Emma said, her voice calmer. “I’m telling you that you’re my first choice, and I am all in.” He stared at her, his expression unreadable. Emma had never felt this scared before. The idea that he might say no terrified her. She took a deep breath. “You jump, I jump, Jack.”
Still, Zig didn’t move and Emma felt like she might cry, her face flushed. She was about to turn and flee to her bedroom when suddenly Zig closed the distance between them and kissed her. His lips were everywhere, covering her lips, her face, and the one lone tear that had fallen from her eye. She wrapped her arms around him and pushed him into his room and Zig kicked his door shut with a loud bang.
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