Present day; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:
Two weeks had passed since Liza woke up in the hospital, she still couldn’t bear to look at Bastien, her heart aching whenever she did. She hated that she was the cause of his pain, the added anger he was exuding. She was desperate to keep him from making a rash decision, but she couldn’t look at him, let alone speak to him. Her life had become one of avoidance, her days being spent sitting in her favorite chair wrapped in a blanket as she stared blankly into space. Her mind always racing, trying to decipher how she could have possibly changed the outcome, spared them this pain.
Liza felt hollow, like the shell of the exuberant woman she was before. Her heart ached, her stomach felt oddly empty, her skin lacked the glow she had just weeks before. Even her hair hung limp around her face and lacked it’s usual shine. Her scar was starting to heal, but she could still see the dagger protruding from her wound. The scar mocked her, reminding her of her greatest mistake, the moment she failed everyone she loved. She hated that she was so weak, that it had cost her everything. She didn’t think she could handle staying put a second longer. Staying there, being with him was far too painful, she was constantly reminded what they had lost, what she had cost them, cost him. She loved him more than anything but Bastien deserved more than the weak woman that she was.
Liza felt like she was drowning and she couldn’t find her way to the surface. She needed an escape, a way to break free, save them both from this horrible life they’d been sentenced to by her weakness. Hot tears stung at her dull, red rimmed hazel eyes at the thought of leaving him behind. Liza didn’t want to leave, yet she knew she couldn’t stay. Maybe he could find someone stronger than her if she left. The tears fell freely, blurring her vision as she haphazardly packed up her essentials. She hated the idea of leaving the gifts he’d given her over the years, but she knew in her heart she didn’t deserve them or the happy memories attached to them. She needed to break free, give them both the space she knew in her heart they needed. It didn’t matter how much it made her heart ache, she needed to do this for him, he deserved better than her.
Liza threw on a dark hoodie, pulling the hood up over her head, tucking her lackluster teal hair under the soft cotton material. She grabbed her bag, taking one last look around the room that held so many now painful memories. She put on a pair of large dark sunglasses, trying to conceal as much of her as possible. She couldn’t be seen leaving as she snuck out like the coward she was. She thought about leaving him a note, but she wasn’t even sure how to truly convey how sorry she was for the pain she caused him. The words would surely escape her and if she tried to speak to him in person she knew his steely grey eyes would bore through her as they always did making her break. She couldn’t stay, she was leaving for him.
Liza ducked her head down, pulling her chin into her chest as she snuck out into the hall, trying her hardest to leave unseen. She knew if she was spotted they would simply try to convince her to stay, or worse yet take her to him. She couldn’t be around him, his anger and hurt was all her fault. She was leaving behind her entire heart no matter how much it hurt, trying to spare the man who held it some pain, give him a new chance at the family, happiness he deserved.
Liza stifled a sniffle as she maneuvered the halls of the expansive home as stealthily as possible. She made herself as small as possible as she made her way to the door, determined to make it out unseen. Liza froze when she heard the familiar clicking of heels on the hardwood floors. She stood rooted in place, fearfully looking around for somewhere to hide. She realized she was too late as she saw the shadow of the figure round the corner. Her heart felt as though it might beat straight out of her chest, her breath caught in her throat as she waited to be face to face with the only other person she truly didn’t want to see.
The clicking of heels grew louder, Liza held her breath as the fiery red hair came into view. Her heart sunk to the pit of her stomach, she would never make her escape now. She was trapped, she had no escape, nowhere to hide, she stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, too fearful to flee.
“Liza, there you are!” Olivia exclaimed, glad she tracked down her friend. She had been worried about her, not that she’d ever show it. Olivia pulled her ruby lips into a thin line as she spied Liza’s packed bag.
Olivia knew Liza wasn’t doing well, but she never thought she’d leave. Olivia felt like all the air had been punched out of her lungs when she realized Liza’s intention. Liza promised, or was she just trying to silence a stubborn, hard headed, no nonsense sixteen year old girl who wouldn’t let Liza in and tried to push her away from the man who had raised her for the last ten years, the man who became her father. Olivia frowned, she wouldn’t let the only other parent she had walk away from her. It took her far too long to learn her self worth, she would not allow the woman who helped make her break her.
Ten years ago; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania- Olivia:
Olivia frowned, her ginger eyebrows furrowed in disgust, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to shield herself from the offending person standing across from her. She couldn’t understand why she was being forced to meet someone who she knew wouldn’t be around long. No woman ever stayed long, they couldn’t handle the life that her father, Bastien led. They were always too pure, getting caught up in some fantasy of what they thought it was to be with a mobster, the reality was always too much.
After the last one left Olivia demanded that he not bring any of them around anymore. Sure she sounded bratty, but she loved the man who raised her and she knew he deserved better than the weak woman he brought around. She refused to get to know another woman who would merely waltz out of their lives as quickly as she blew into them. So now she couldn’t understand why she was staring at the woman with pink, purple, and teal streaked raven hair.
Olivia’s frown deepened as she scanned the woman before her. She was young, the woman couldn’t be much older than she was. She couldn’t figure out why she had to meet another one, why this one was considered to be different than the rest. Maybe her age made her more naïve than the others. Perhaps she was too young to realize what it meant to date man in his position, to date a mob boss.
Olivia huffed, moving to turn away from the newest woman she would soon forget. “Olivia.” Bastien warned, his voice lacking all warmth it usually had when he spoke to her, he was using the voice he used when he was dealing with one of his men.
Olivia turned back towards the pair rolling her eyes, her hands moving to rest on her hips. “What? This one is just going to leave like all the rest! You promised I wouldn’t have to meet anymore of them, remember? Or did you forget?” Olivia replied her voice going higher and dripping with disdain for the new woman she was being forced to meet. She narrowed her emerald eyes at the offending woman before her, she didn’t care to even know her name, it’s not like she would need to remember it anyway.
The woman shifted awkwardly on the balls on her sneaker clad feet, a grimace forming on her face, unsure how to handle the tension surrounding her. Olivia smirked, her hand coming up to cover her mouth to conceal her snicker. She had never seen one this nervous before, this just proved her point that she wasn’t good enough for Bastien and would run like all the rest before too long.
The woman shifted her stance, straightening her back, standing tall, her hand gently touching Bastien’s shoulder. “I got this Bas, give us a second.” She stated with a smile.
Olivia stifled a snort at the multi colored hair woman’s sudden change in demeanor, she obviously thought she could could fool her younger counterpart. Olivia would show that she could not be won, could not be easily swayed. This one was no different than all the rest and she would not allow herself to be sucked in. She wouldn’t allow this one to change things for her, take the only one who ever showed her love and affection from her.
“Are you sure Liza?” Bastien questioned, his eyebrow raising in question.
Olivia stifled a snicker, even her father knew this woman couldn’t handle her. Who did this “Liza” think she was? Did she really think she could sweet talk her way in? Did Liza really think anything she said could make Olivia trust her?
“I’m sure, I’ve got this, she doesn’t scare me.” Liza replied, her voice strong and sure.
Olivia fought and failed to suppress a chuckle at Liza’s sudden one hundred and eighty degree shift. Bastien shot her a warning glare. He kissed Liza on the lips making Olivia want to gag at the open display of affection. Bastien shot her one last warning glare before leaving Olivia with the woman named Liza.
Olivia narrowed her eyes, practically shooting daggers at the older woman. I wonder how badly I could scare her with my blade. A smirk curled on her lips at the thought.
“I get it Olivia, I do. You don’t like me and don’t think I’ll stick around and therefore think I’m not worth even learning my name, am I right?” Liza stated, staring down Olivia, showing zero sign of backing down.
Olivia rolled her eyes, huffing in disapproval. She didn’t have any interest in Liza or her reasons why she would be different. She’d heard it a million times before, it was always ‘give me a chance to show you I’m different, that I’m not going anywhere’ and in the end they all left—every single one of them. At first Olivia had allowed herself to get attached, by the time she was twelve she realized none of them would stay around and kept them all at arms length. Nothing this one could say could make her change her mind or let down her guard.
“What you don’t realize is we have far more in common than you think.” Liza stated moving closer to the teen.
Olivia forcibly rolled her emerald eyes, recrossing her arms over her chest. There was no chance she had anything in common with this latest fling, there was absolutely nothing she could say to make her change her mind.
“My father isn’t a boss, but he holds rank. My mom ran off when I was young, she wasn’t fit for the life, or to be a mother. I clung to my father and didn’t trust any woman he brought home either, they could never handle it. I worked hard to drive them all away. Eventually he stopped dating altogether. He was respectful of my feelings, but now he’s alone and has no one. I’m across the country and he’s all alone because of me and my behavior. He still refuses to date to keep from upsetting me. It may be his choice now, but it’s because of my actions he’s alone. Believe me when I say I’m different, I’m not going anywhere. I will never leave, you or your father. I came from this life and I understand it. I can be good for Bastien, and you if you let me in.” Liza explained. She calmly turned on her heel, her multicolored hair swishing behind her. She turned back towards Olivia, “you may want to be a tad nicer to him. Stop giving him a hard time. Do you really want to be the reason he’s alone when you’re grown up?” She turned back around leaving the room allowing Olivia time to think about what she said.
Olivia stood staring slack jawed, she truly never thought this woman could know anything about her, let alone understand how she was feeling. She didn’t want to be the reason that Bastien would be alone. She wasn’t sure, but she felt like maybe she could give this one a chance.
Present day; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:
“So you were just planned on slinking out of here?” Olivia asked, her voice tinged with hurt and anger.
Liza opened her mouth, only to close it again. Could she make Olivia understand that she needed to leave? She hated that she was this weak woman, she had always prided herself on being strong. She thought she could handle this life, but she was wrong. If she was stronger she could stay. If she had been stronger she never would have lost their child, never let that weasel get the better of her. But she wasn’t, she wasn’t strong, she never was. She was this weak woman who couldn’t protect herself, let alone her child. Bastien deserved someone strong, someone who could protect herself. The tears fell freely once more. Will they ever dry up and let me be? She was weak enough, she didn’t need to cry every time she thought of what she lost, what she had no choice but to give up. “You wouldn’t understand Liv.” She replied, voice breaking with emotion.
“Wouldn’t understand what? That you lied? That when you promised me ten years ago you had known one day you’d leave? Did you even mean to stay this long?” Olivia questioned, her anger growing, arms crossed over her chest like when they first met. She felt hurt, she hated feeling hurt, it made her feel weak. She needed to put back up her walls and defend herself.
“Liv, you have to understand, I never intended to leave.” Liza responded. She pushed up her sunglasses wiping at the tears, but they kept coming, she was starting to think they’d never stop. “I thought that I was meant to be here, that I belonged here. I’m just not strong enough Liv. He deserves better than me.”
Olivia’s eyes went wide, her mouth forming an o, as she gaped at Liza. She was surprised by Liza’s admission. She always thought she was strong, she was the only person besides Bastien to ever put Olivia in her place. And she’d done it on more than one occasion. Why would she now think she was too weak? What could have changed that much in her that she would question her own strength? “What are you talking about Liza? Did you see the way you took down that greasy weasel?” Olivia questioned.
“That’s the thing Liv, I failed. I failed Bas, our child, myself. Sure he’s dead, but so is my child, if it wasn’t for you I would be dead too.” Liza sobbed. How could Olivia think her greatest failure was a win, a proof of her strength?
“Liza, I didn’t do anything. You took him down by yourself.” Olivia responded more confused than ever.
“Maybe, but if you hadn’t been following me I would have bled out and died from the wound he managed to inflict. I was so focused on the blade I could see I completely forgot he might have one concealed. My misstep cost me my child and if it weren’t for you it would have cost me my life. So no Liv, I can’t stay, I’m not strong enough.” Liza replied, moving to walk around Olivia.
Olivia sidestepped, blocking Liza. “No. He caught you off guard, so what? I didn’t see that second blade until it was sticking out of your side. So no. Stop saying you are weak, stop blaming yourself. I know you, you are tougher than you know. Any other woman Bas brought home would have wilted and walked away that day, but not you. No you saw me for the scared girl I was inside and you called my ass out and then helped me become who I am. What did you tell me the first time some dumb boy broke my heart?” She asked. She refused to just let her leave.
“You’re stronger than you think and don’t let any dumb boy break you.” Liza recounted, her bloodshot hazel eyes rolling back into her head. “But this is different Liv.”
“No it’s not. You are stronger than you think. Don’t let him break you. Get angry, fight back! Don’t wallow and cry and slink away. That’s not the woman who raised me.” Olivia countered. “Besides, Bas would completely lose it if he lost you because of this. He needs you, we need you. I may have been a stubborn brat, but you pushed back, you need to do that again. Sure be sad about what you lost, but don’t let it destroy you, don’t let it destroy your relationship.”
Liza stood rooted to the ground, she knew Olivia would never get it, never understand. Why did she think she could explain and make her see her side? She was still the stubborn girl she had met all those years ago, of course she wouldn’t break. She stared at her best friend, willing herself to speak, her feet to move, anything but just stand there. She loved him, loved them both, this was the girl she helped raise, she was as much her daughter as her friend, could she really walk away from them both so easily? Liza shook the doubts from her head, she had to leave. Leaving was for the best, wasn’t it? “Olivia, move.” She said, her voice shaking less than she expected. She had to, this was for the best.
