The Heart Wants What it Can Never Have

Important – My ACOR MC is Olluna Arverni.  

This was my first attempt at an ACOR Fic. Admittedly, I’d only read chapters 1+2, so I’ve sort of verged off the canon here.  

Warnings – Horrible Lucius is in here and he’s a dick to women, so I guess there should be a warning for that.

Disclaimer – Characters are Pixelberry’s, not mine, this is just for fun & I don’t make any money from it.  There is some direct text from PB’s ACOR Chapter 1 in here, some of which I have embellished also…

—

Olluna knocked on the door of the elaborate and luxurious villa, her stomach churning inside, adrenaline coursing through her.  She sucked in a deep breath to calm nerves as her eyes darted up to look at Syphax with pleading eyes. He met her gaze, an unreadable look in his deep brown eyes…  Jealousy? Resignation? She couldn’t tell. They’d both become professionals when it came to wearing a poker face… A hint of a sad smile flitted across his lips momentarily, but then it was lost to Olluna as the door swung open.  Syphax retreated to the shadows, although Olluna could still feel his dark eyes searing into her as she stepped forward and Lena drew the attention of the room to her newest little moneymaker: ‘The Princess of Gaul’, eight years in the making…  Olluna readied her smile for the growing crowd of Roman men, in her head she repeated Lena’s words, ‘Remember, you need do nothing against your will.’ The boorish, lecherous faces of the room made Olluna’s skin crawl, a hundred eyes all undressing her as she sat down at the cithara and plucked at the first string…  Centering herself as she tuned herself into the beautiful sound of the strings, Olluna’s practiced porcelain mask came down, a sultry smile through full pink lips and a combination of innocence and temptation in her sparkling green eyes…

‘Smile, be charming, and never let them know you want them all dead…’

As the song finished, Olluna despite all her training in the scholae, felt amused and slightly bewildered that her audience were enchanted.  When she looked in the mirror, despite the finery, she still saw the same dainty girl from Gaul, long blonde tresses, pale skin and pale eyes.  She was pretty but she didn’t naturally exude the confidence, wiles and flirtatious nature that Lena had instilled during her courtesan training…  Olluna played her part; she acted interested in their conversations, she acted as though she enjoyed being in their company, she acted as though she were attracted to these disgusting specimens of men…  The sort of men that captured her family… The sort of men that beat and humiliated her Father in front of his own tribe… Men like Legate Aquila…

All Olluna wanted in the world was to see her parents and brother again…  Well, that… And to be able to act on the way she felt about Syphax and the way she knew in her heart that he felt about her, in spite of his reticence to act… From that first moment the day Olluna arrived at Lena’s scholae, there was something between them.  Olluna had been fiery and defiant that day, believing she was being sold into a life of prostitution until Lena explained the role of a courtesan and introduced her to Syphax, his radiant smile, stark against his flawless dark skin as he assured her,

“You need fear nothing in my care.”  

Olluna swore she had fallen in love with him in that second and her heart had never waived since despite Syphax never allowing anything to materialise… Oh the nights she had lain in bed, bereft of her family, homesick for Gaul, void of emotion except for bitterness and hatred… The only thought that made her soul sing and her heart flutter was her strong and honourable bodyguard…  What Olluna would have given for him to pull her close to his muscular body, feel his breath warm against her skin, his thick fingers running through her silky hair…

—

Syphax stood against the wall as Olluna entertained the Lords and Senators.  He should have been surveying the room but he couldn’t take his eyes off his petite blonde charge as her clear voice rang out around the room.  Olluna was simply mesmerizing to him; she had been all the time she was honing her craft at the scholae, he’d watched her flourish, and now on her debut to Roman society, with that olive silken sheath cinched in at her tiny waist…  His gaze stopped on her bare shoulder, he wanted so badly to caress her, to trail his fingertips up her delicate porcelain arm and slender neck, to cup her perfect heart shaped face in his large hand, to feel her soft curves pressed tightly against him, to taste her sweet lips…  But how could he? In a world where neither of them truly had their freedom, there was no option for him to be her man, no matter how his heart ached for Olluna. And Syphax knew his affections were returned, which made keeping to his professional resolve all the more difficult…     

Syphax could feel himself bristle as he watched that pompous prick Lucius leer at Olluna, patronising her as he spoke, reducing her to a piece of meat, a plaything…  He had promised Lena he’d stay invisible during Olluna’s first performance, but it was proving very difficult not to reach out and crush the throat of that gluttonous, disrespectful Roman…  Syphax was jolted from his thoughts as he heard a smooth voice chastise Lucius then greet Olluna, and as he laid eyes on the voice’s owner, he felt a pang of jealously deep in his stomach. ‘Senator Cassius’ was by far the youngest and the best looking of the Roman elite at this gathering; dark wavy hair, dark eyes, beard, handsome, sharp cheekbones.  He looked the epitome of wealth and grandeur in his white toga and red robe with gilted accents. Syphax felt his blood boil as he watched Cassius reach out and kiss Olluna’s hand, murmuring sweet nothings to her… Olluna smiled coyly and twirled her blonde locks as she looked up at Cassius through her thick lashes. Syphax felt his fists clench as he looked on:  was she only acting?

—

Olluna had to admit that she was rather pleasantly surprised that her Patron turned out to be Cassius, who despite being a Roman Senator, actually seemed to have an ounce of decorum, rather than someone as unsavory as Senator Lucius.  She chatted quietly with him, using her courtesan charms to draw his interest, making him feel like the only man in the room, making him feel like a king… Within mere minutes he’d opened up to her about his father’s death, about his political allegiances within the Senate…  She’d watched his pupils dilate and him swallow awkwardly as she subtly touched his arm; it was amazing how a little flirtation could entice an intelligent politician to spill his guts… Olluna’s heart swelled with pride at how well her perfomance was working on her mark, as her stomach churned with discomfort in equal measure:  Cassius, actually seemed like a kind, genuine man. Gods, this wasn’t her: she was a good girl. She didn’t believe in using people. Everything about her life was wrong and she resented those who’d put her into this position so very, very badly. Olluna was pulled back from her inner turmoil as Cassius flashed a wide white smile at her before gently kissing her hand once again; she wasn’t entirely sure what was happening but the sensation of his lips against her skin made her shiver as her breath caught in her chest…  It thrilled her as much as it disturbed her: he was a Roman. He was the enemy. It was all supposed to be clear cut. She was a courtesan. She wasn’t supposed to ‘feel’ anything.

—

Later as Olluna stood outside the villa, she felt a presence behind her, recoiling as she realised it was Senator Lucius: she’d had quite enough of his person brand of charm for one evening, but he wasn’t for giving up,

“Ah, our lovely Gallic princess… I was hoping you were still here. Something about tonight puts me in mind to sample the wares of Gaul.”

Olluna had to inhale sharply to counter the bile that began to rise as he reached out to touch her face, quickly stepping out of his reach.  Becoming irate Lucius snarled,

“Fine. Then how much will this buy me?”

Rejecting the golden aureus he tried to press into her palm Olluna stated firmly but calmly,

“I’m not interested.”

Offended by a slip of a girl having the audacity to reject him, Senator Lucius stepped closer and grabbed Olluna’s slim arm aggressively as she winced and tried to pull away from him.  

Suddenly the grip on Olluna’s arm was released and in a blur Lucius was thrown against the wall, Syphax’s shoulder and knee pinning him in place as he growled,

“You will not touch her again!  Olluna is not your property! She’s a courtesan from the finest scholae in Rome… Nothing happens unless the lady offers first. Understand?”

Syphax was breathing heavily as he caught Olluna’s beautiful wide eyes, he pressed his bulging forearm harder against Lucius’ chest as the portly Senator spluttered, outraged,

“You have no right to lay hands on me!”  

Syphax gave the lecherous Senator an extra hard shove as he released him, but not before snarling a heart-felt warning into his ear,

“Olluna has no interest in your patronage.”

Syphax stared Lucius down until the villa door closed behind him. As he turned to face Olluna his face changed from fierce and angry to caring and filled with concern, barely a whisper on his lips as his dark eyes lock with hers,

“Olluna…”  

She closed the space between them until there were only centimeters remaining between them, raising her chin to maintain their gaze upon each other, Olluna bit her lip, breathing ragged as a hoarse whisper left her,

“I love when you defend me. I have always been able to rely on your protection, Syphax…”

Syphax felt his heart pound inside his armor as he gazed upon the beautiful woman he loved but knew shouldn’t; in another life she’d be his.  Olluna would be his love, his wife, the mother of his children… But not here. Not in Rome. In Rome he couldn’t kiss her or hold her, all he could do was protect her from predators like Lucius whilst watching her flirt with men like Cassius… Some days it just seemed like too much to ask… He bent his forehead to touch hers as he breathed the word,

“Always.”

Olluna was electrified by his touch, Syphax was everything she’d ever wanted, she closed her eyes as she reached her trembling hands up towards his smooth face, just as he pulled back abruptly,

“We need to get back inside.”

Olluna could have sworn his eyes glistened as he turned away from her: she knew he was right, but there was nothing except Syphax in that moment and she wanted to stay there just a little longer.

—

Upon re-entering the villa Senator Lucius approached Olluna, face creased in a scowl,

“You will regret this girl, I offered you fair work for fair pay and you set your dog on me.”  

Syphax was poised for Round Two as Olluna opened her mouth to answer, but was beaten to it by Cassius, who realising the way Olluna was treated, sternly scolded Lucius.

Cassius eyes searched Olluna’s filled with concern,

“Olluna are you alright?”

She nodded and smiled at him, gesturing to him to continue towards the dining table with his other guests, leaving Olluna standing alone once more with Syphax.  Syphax cleared his throat as he smiled weakly at the beautiful young woman before him,

“Are you?”

Olluna felt drained between the nerves of her debut, having to deal with Lucius, the strange way Cassius made her feel and that beautiful, life-affirmingly raw moment she’d just shared with the man of her dreams who repeatedly denied her, but she wasn’t going to tell the bodyguard that,

“I know my role here Syphax.  Look I’m still smiling.”

Syphax, sensing the dual meaning of her words, slowly stated,

“And I know mine.”

Olluna bit back, with more bitterness than she intended,

“Yes, to protect Lena’s investment.”

Syphax sighed, a hurt look crossing his handsome face as he met her gaze firmly, his brown eyes burning,

“To protect you. And not just from violence, Olluna. You know it can be dangerous to wear your emotions too openly.”  

Olluna’s eyes stung with sudden tears, dropping her eyes to look at her feet, dejectedly,

“And how I feel. How we feel doesn’t matter.”

Syphax laid a hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her, forcing her to look at him,

“Olluna, please don’t. You know this conversation never leads us to happiness.”

The pair fell into silence as they looked upon the shrine before them, both prayed for their families and made offering to the Gods in their honor away from the eyes of the Romans.  Syphax, sensing the need to lighten the somber atmosphere, murmured,

“Seeing you tonight, as beautiful and polished as the most sophisticated noblewoman, you forget you’re still a barbarian inside…” 

Olluna shot him a sardonic glare, as he grinned widely at her, showing his perfect dimples,

“Take that back Syphax…”

He bumped Olluna’s shoulder gently with his as he enquired if she was feeling better.  Olluna, unable to help herself from starting the conversation back up, whispered,

“Better now that I’m with you, I’d rather be with you than any rich Roman patron.”

Syphax smiled defeatedly as he reached to brush a strand of golden hair from her cheek,

“I wish I had coin and power enough that you need never entertain another one.”

His words dripped with emotion as Olluna moved closer to him, her voice hushed,

“I as well.”

Syphax drew in a sharp breath as, emboldened by his heartfelt words, Olluna tentatively ran a finger over the stiff breastplate of his armor, made equally to impress and protect. As though someone had called his name and brought him back to his senses, Syphax gently covered her hand, trapping it against the enameled plate,

“Unfortunately it is rich Roman patrons who pay for us both to live.”  

Olluna muttered under her breath,

“I curse them all, they will pay, some day for what they’ve done to us, to our families, to our homes… Rome must fall.”

Syphax eyes lit up as he listened to the venom in Olluna’s voice; she was an enigma,

“You know, you look as though you were born into the highest ranks of Rome, but there is a fire in you that no proper Roman daughter would ever be allowed to possess. You are the most beautiful woman to walk the streets of Rome, Olluna. You have no idea what a weapon you wield.  You have the nobility of a princess, the fierceness of a warrior and the mind of a poet.”

As Olluna let his words wash over her, dizzying her, she watched Syphax’s eyes move slowly down her body, lingering at the tattoo just visible at her collarbone; the permanent reminder of her dreams and hopes of being reunited with her family… The air between them in that moment was palpable as Olluna mouthed,

“Tell me more?”

Syphax shook his head, as he lifted one finger to trace the lines of her intricate tattoo, setting Olluna’s skin on fire everywhere he touched as he sighed,

“I shouldn’t.”  

Olluna was overwhelmed by his touch; his restraint had never slipped like this before, despite knowing that she would be his without a second thought. Her hands shook and her eyes shone with love as she lifted a hand to his cheek, stroking it gently,

“I know we shouldn’t, but Syphax, I don’t care…”

With clear effort he turned away, leaving Olluna heartbroken,

“It is my job and duty to protect you Olluna, but you know you have more than just my service as a bodyguard although we can never act on our feelings. I hope you will always see me as a true and loyal friend.”

Olluna’s lip trembled as she croaked, trying to stop a flood of tears from breaking free,

“Syphax, you’re are more than just a friend, I lo-”  

Syphax pressed a finger to Olluna’s soft lips to stop her words, he couldn’t hear it, not without it destroying him.

End – VP 💖