An Heir – Chapter 31

Istvan was dressed in a sharp-looking suit and tie, he had a jam-packed schedule full of meetings with international delegates who’d already arrived in Cordonia, but he was torn regarding whether or not to cancel the whole day… He knocked gently on the door,

“My love, are you ok in there? Let me in.”

A muffled shout came through the door,

“No. Go to your meeting. I’m fine.”

Istvan winced as he heard her wretch again, he assumed that she’d got lucky as there had been no real morning sickness up ‘til this point, she’d just felt a bit off colour, but today it seemed to have struck her with a vengeance.

“Vik. Let me in – seriously.“

His patience was starting to wain as waited,

“I can hear you swearing. Stop it and open the door.”

The door opened as his wife swished a cup of mouthwash around in her mouth, eyebrow cocked at him, ghostly pale with a sheen of sweat on her forehead still wearing her nightshirt. Istvan grimaced as the floral air-freshener combined with the acrid smell of vomit hit his nostrils, reaching out to smooth her hair,

“Oh my love…”

Viktoria turned away from him, rinsing the mouthwash down the sink,

“And ‘that’ is why I didn’t want you in here.”

Istvan grabbed a facecloth and pulled her towards him, mopping her forehead gently,

“What? I can’t look after you when you’re sick?”

Viktoria rolled her eyes at him,

“I never said that. I just don’t think it’s very nice to be in here wh- Oh God…”

She shoved Istvan out of the way as she threw herself on to the floor beside the toilet for what felt like the hundredth time this morning. Istvan got down on his knees beside her, holding her hair back and rubbing her back gently, trying to soothe her as she started to cry,

“That’s it. I’m cancelling today. I can’t leave you like this.”

That sentence was all it took for Viktoria to raise her head to look at him with fire in her eyes,

“No you’re not. You can’t leave the whole damn country to flounder because I can’t keep a bowl of cereal down Istvan!”

He started to protest but Viktoria was having none of it, getting to her feet, flushing the toilet as she stood, she tried to pull him up from the bathroom floor,

“Come on. Out. I mean it, Istvan. Go to your meeting.”

Istvan couldn’t help but wonder how she’d gone from a fragile, shivering wreck on the floor one minute to a little firecracker, literally shoving him out the door in the space of a minute flat. He stopped and caught her by the wrists,

“Listen to me. I’m not happy about this. If you won’t let me stay, will you at least let me ring Maxwell or something?”

Vik shook her head,

“No. He’s not stupid, he’ll work it out. I’ll just go back to bed, I’ll be fine, honestly.”

Istvan scrunched his nose up,

“What about Regina? She’d come and sit with you, my love, she wouldn’t be forward enough to ask you if you’re expecting.”

Viktoria sighed,

“You’re not going to go if I don’t agree to a babysitter, are you?”

Istvan shot her a dazzling white smile as he shook his head vigorously. Viktoria groaned,

“In that case, you could just send Mrs Levy in to check on me later on…”

Istvan regarded her quizzically,

“As in, Mrs Levy from housekeeping?”

Vik nodded nervously, chewing her lip, she’d forgotten that Istvan didn’t know she’d been confiding in Mrs Levy about the pregnancy,

“Um, yeah.”

Istvan frowned,

“Mrs Levy is a delightful lady, but any reason in particular that you will agree to her popping in, but not your best friend or your mother-in-law?”

Vik looked at her feet,

“Uhh, I sort of talked to her about the baby…”

Istvan looked suddenly quite taken aback,

“You did??”

Viktoria took her husband’s hand gently in hers trying to explain,

“Yeah… Oh Istvan I spilled my tea when she was in my study, and I was so upset, I started to cry like a moron, and she was so nice to me, and you know, it just all came out… Please don’t be angry at me, I know it was our secret… She swore she wouldn’t tell anyone…”

Istvan pulled Viktoria close to him, pressing a kiss into her hair,

“I’m not angry at you, I just don’t understand why you never told me about that before? Why were you so upset? It must have been an amazing cup of tea?”

Viktoria pulled back and drew him a challenging look for his flippancy,

“Ist, how long before your meeting?”

Glancing at his watch, then smiling slyly at his wife as he looked in to her big blue eyes, he whispered,

“You’re married to the King remember, the meeting will start when I get there…”

Viktoria raised an eyebrow at him, forcing him to admitted sheepishly,

“Ok, as long as I’m downstairs in an hour from now it’d be fine, I prepped for this yesterday, I was only going back through the paperwork to refresh myself…”

Viktoria chewed her lip as she looked at him,

“I can tell you about it now if you like? The sickness feels like it’s finally stopped anyway. Can you make me a coffee while I brush my teeth and stuff?”

Istvan nodded, reluctantly letting go of her hand as she turned back to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later Viktoria reappeared in a pair of yoga pants and vest, her teeth brushed and her hair wrapped in a towel, she smiled at him as she settled on the sofa beside her husband, “That feels better.” Istvan handed Viktoria her favourite coffee mug, the pink one with the gold handle and the big glamorous eyelashes painted on it, as he smiled back,

“Decaf my love.”

She grinned at him coyly,

“Better than fruit tea…”

A silence fell between them as they sipped, Istvan waiting for Viktoria to start talking, he felt nervous because she hadn’t been her usual self, but at the same time, very, very glad that she had decided that she wanted to talk to him at last.

Viktoria cleared her throat nervously as she tried to open up to him about how she’d been feeling about the pregnancy so far, she knew she had to talk to him, but she was so afraid of disappointing him, of hurting him… She began tentatively,

“You know the way you’re so natural about the baby?”

Istvan nodded his head as he reached out to stroke her cheek,

“I think so?”

Vik leaned into his soft touch, relishing it, hoping what she told him wouldn’t change the way her felt about her,

“Like how you rest your head by my stomach and talk to the baby? Or how you’ve bought it presents already? And, you’re always, like, thinking about the future? You know, making a nursery, is it going to look like you or me, names? All that stuff? You’re a great dad already and it’s not even here yet; I am so proud of you when I watch you Istvan… I love you so, so much.”

Istvan smiled a dreamy smile as he nodded his head at his wife, he had never felt so happy as he did since he found out they would be a little family. Viktoria sucked in a deep breath as she continued,

“I guess that I’m just not so natural at this… If I’m going to be really honest, I’m scared to death Istvan… It’s all so overwhelming and nothing’s coming naturally to me. But I’m trying so hard, I want you to know that, I don’t want you to think that it’s like I’m not trying…”

Istvan’s face fell as he watched her pretty blue eyes fill with tears at the admission, he pulled her small body close to him. As he held her he could feel her trembling in his arms,

“Oh Vik, maybe I can help? What can I do differently? What do you need? Name it, my love. I hate to see you like this…”

Viktoria broke away from him, shaking her head,

“No, it’s nothing you’re doing or not doing. It’s all me that’s the problem. That day when I spilled my tea I was upset because I don’t know if I’ll be able to attend the CMT Awards Show. I mean I shouldn’t even be bothered about that Istvan, that’s what I mean, I’m so awful and selfish; I should be so happy thinking about the fact that we’re having a baby, and not worrying about the charity. It’s not like Maxwell can’t handle it… I just feel like I’m not in control of my life anymore… Everything’s changing and I’m afraid that I’m not going to be good enough, that I’m going to get everything wrong… That I’m going to let you and the baby down… That’s when I started talking to Mrs Levy.”

Istvan nodded, his face filled with concern as he took Viktoria’s pale fingers into his hands,

“And what advice did Mrs Levy have for you, my love?”

Viktoria shrugged her shoulders, looking at her hands,

“She said I’m putting too much pressure on myself about what I should be thinking and feeling. She said I should talk to you about how I’m feeling, but I just can’t bear to disappoint you Istvan… You deserve so much more than me Ist. All you’ve ever wanted is to be a daddy, and I’m ruining it for you because I don’t feel the way I should… I don’t feel like a mommy. The baby is inside of me Istvan, our baby, and I should love it more than anyone and I just feel so strange, and so detached from everything… I just don’t know how I’m going to do any of this… I’m really, really struggling, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Istvan sat beside her feeling stunned and helpless as she sobbed, her hands covering her face, ashamed to let him see her after her admission. He had known something wasn’t quite right, but he honestly didn’t expect any of that. He stroked her back gently as he whispered, his heart breaking at ever having to voice this question,

“Vik… Are you saying… Are you saying that you don’t want to have the baby?”

Viktoria sat bolt upright, her hand flying to her stomach, a fiery defiance glittering in her eyes,

“No Istvan!! That’s not what I’m saying – at all!! It’s not an accidental pregnancy Istvan, we planned for this and it’s not the baby’s fault that I’m such a bloody mess… No!! Absolutely not.”

A tidal wave of relief swept over Istvan as she shot down his words, and the defensive gesture of protecting her expectant belly didn’t go unnoticed by the King either. When he’d fallen in love with Viktoria there were a few things that had captured his heart, one of which being how loving and big-hearted she was. He knew she would be not only a wonderful queen, but a wonderful mother to their future children. Even though she was wracked with self-doubt right now, he didn’t doubt that she would be amazing, even if she couldn’t see it. He raised his hands in a submissive gesture,

“Believe me, that’s not what I want either Vik, it’s the complete opposite of what I want, but I had to ask, my love. I knew something was troubling you, I just wish you’d felt like you could speak to me before now, but I think I understand why you didn’t… What can I do to help you feel better about everything?”

Viktoria shook her head,

“I wish I knew Ist. I think when I have the scan it’ll help. When I actually see the baby, it’ll feel more real, Mr Kolettis said that… Maybe when I see the baby, I’ll just feel this giant flood of love wash over me, knowing I’m it’s mommy…”

Istvan nodded as he gently kissed her forehead; the scan was only a couple of weeks away, maybe it would soothe her fears when they sat down together and watched their little baby on the screen. He hoped so, because other than loving them both, and trying to help her feel secure, he really didn’t know what else to do to help his wife adjust to impending motherhood.. He felt a pang of guilt surge through him, she hadn’t been sure about starting a family, she’d did this for him, but what cost?

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TBC – VP 💖