Things She Will Regret – Part II

Summary: Samantha struggles to tell Jax about her feelings and makes another bad judgment call.

Samantha rests her head on the window of the car while everyone else talks about the fight. She knew fighting with vampires and ferals for almost an entire night could be tiring, but she didn’t expect it to be this exhausting. “Sam, are you doing okay?” Jax inquiries resting a hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t think so,” she frowns.

“You look like you could use some rest,” Kamilah says, eyeing Samantha’s visible tiredness.

“I do?” Samantha quickly opens her purse, picks up a mirror and stares at her reflection in shock. “Oh, god! I look like I need to sleep for a week!”

“I wasn’t going to point it out, but I also wouldn’t go that far. You’re young. A bath, a good night of sleep and nurturing mask can fix it. At least, that’s what my cousin used to say,” Kamilah acknowledges.

“I think we all could use some rest,” Adrian comments.

“I second it,” Kamilah agrees.

“Me too. I’m not even human anymore and I’m beat. And if Cleopatra said so, I’m doing all of that,” Lily adds.

“I could use a shower and a few hours to rest,” Jax admits.

“Well, we haven’t called the meeting with the rest of Council yet. I guess it wouldn’t hurt if we call it a night,” Adrian proposes, then looks at Samantha through the rear mirror.

“Okay, it’s settled then,” Kamilah says.

A few blocks later, Adrian stops at Samantha’s building and she gets out of the car with Lily and Jax. She bids farewell to Kamilah and before she turns to Adrian, he pulls her to the side. “You can always stay with me if you wish.”

“That’s very generous of you, Adrian, but I need to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Sure. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Lil will stay with me. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“It’s the least I can do, Samantha. Sleep well,” Adrian kisses Samantha’s cheek. He sees Jax glaring at him as Samantha returns his hug but chooses to look away.

Samantha waves them Kamilah and Adrian goodbye, then heads into the building with Lily and Jax, who wait for her at the elevator door. As soon as Samantha opens the door of their apartment, Lily quickly goes to her room, picks a duffle bag and places some of her things inside it then heads back to the living room.

Samantha frowns as she sees Lily with the duffle bag. “What? I thought you were only moving tomorrow…”

“I was, but when we were at the elevator, I got a text from Gabrielle, one of the hottest vampires I’ve seen at Shadow Den and now I have to go. I want to bang her since the first night I went there.”

Samantha narrows her eyes at a beaming Lily then looks at Jax, who smiles and discreetly nods at her roommate. She scowls at him and he shrugs. “What? She is hot. And very reserved, by the way,” he says turning to Lily. “I haven’t seen her with just anyone. If I were you, I’d be on my way out right now.”

“I knew I liked you for a reason,” Lily wraps her arms around Jax, who slowly replies to the embrace.

“Lily!” Samantha berates as they pull away from the hug.

“I can stay if you need company,” Jax says.

“See? You don’t need me here. You already have company,” Lily winks then kisses her friend on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow night,” she smiles and leaves.

Samantha looks down. In the past few days, her usual shameless flirty M.O. was replaced by an insecure and way too self-conscious demeanor in front of guys she likes. Somehow, she feels like she’s losing will power whenever she is close to them and she knows it could lead her into making terrible judgment calls.

Jax glances at Samantha playing with the ends of her hair. Knowing her tells was part of turning her into his spy, but that plan backfired a long time ago. Now, he uses these details about her for different reasons. “I don’t know about you, but I need a shower. Can you show me Lily’s room?”

“Sure. This way,” Samantha shakes off her timidity and marches to the hallway, then opens the door. “She doesn’t have any clean towels because you know… It’s Lily,” Samantha shrugs and they laugh, “but I can get you a clean one from my room. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks,” he smiles at her.

Her cheeks redden in response. Jax turns away, walks into the room and removes his leather jacket, revealing his muscular arms and back. Hot damn… Samantha swallows hard as he pulls out his shirt then shakes her head and leaves.

She gets into her room and slumps on the bed. She was in the same situation with Adrian less than 24 hours before, but this time is far worse. She is completely alone with Jax. Having anyone else in the apartment would really stop anything from happening? Kamilah was right next to the room where Adrian was banging me… Crap. “Okay, grab the towel, put it on the bed and leave. He’s in the shower, you won’t see him. You can talk to him after later,” she mumbles to herself as she takes a clean towel from her wardrobe and walks back to Lily’s room.

To her surprise, however, Jax didn’t close the bathroom door. From the doorway, she could see his large frame through the fogged shower box, his hands running down his chest and stomach as he rubs the soap against his warm ivory skin. Samantha tiptoes to the bathroom, places the towel on the wall hanger, begins to take off her clothes and opens the glass door. Jax stares at her nude body for a moment, then pulls her by the waist and kisses her passionately.

The water hits her skin as her fingers tangle in his damp hair and their tongues dance together in slow motion. Jax pins her against the glass wall, his lips roaming down her neck and she whimpers at the feeling of his fangs scraping her breasts whilst he nibbles her hard peaks.

His ruby eyes gleam at the sight of her panting and he goes down on his knees, places one of her legs over his shoulder and devours her wet slit, his tongue flickering on her sensitive nub. One of his hands holds her round buttcheeks while he strokes his member with the other. Samantha moves her hips back and forth against his face, but stops and tries to steady herself. Jax pulls away looking intrigued. “Something wrong?”

“No… I mean, yeah. Err–” For a split second she thinks about what she needs to tell to him, however, the thought quickly vanishes when her eyes meet his red lustful ones. “This is a complicated position for me. Bathrooms are dangerous,” she replies.

“You killed a bunch of hungry ferals a few hours ago, but sex is in the shower is dangerous to you?” He cocks an eyebrow and a corner of his mouth quirks up.

“I’m a tiny woman in a wet glass box with a guy who’s almost twice my size on his knees and between my legs. I’m barely reaching the ground here.”

He chortles. “I guess it makes sense, but…” he stands up and grabs her thighs firmly, wrapping them around his waist. “Do you think you can handle not having your feet on the ground for a while?” he murmurs, pressing her gently against the wall and reaching for his hardness with one hand, brushing it between her wet folds.

“Yes,” she moans.

Jax dips in, capturing her lips into a long kiss and teases with the tip of cock at her entrance until he finally sinks into her, both of them gasping. He begins to pump in and out in slow yet hard strokes, earning low whimpers as response.

Samantha holds herself to Jax, her nails digging into his back as he gradually increases speed, pounding faster. At every thrust, pleasure spreads all over her body. His hot mouth sucks on her shoulder, his fangs making her skin tingle.

“Feed on me,” she pants.

He stops moving and pulls back a little to look at her. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

His eyes darken as he turns around,  presses her back on the tiled wall and turns off the shower. Jax traces a line of wet kisses on her shoulder and begins to rock against her. His lips reach the neck and as feels her jugular pumping fast, his fangs sink into her flesh. Her warm fresh blood, her walls clenching around his cock and low moans quickly send him to the edge.

Her eyes flutter shut as she gets close, her nails scraping his back and drawing blood. The world melts away as she loses herself in deep and continuous bliss, pleasure building up like tidal waves as he keeps slamming into her.

Jax withdraws his fangs from her neck and grunts, spilling his seed inside her. He eases out of her and watches her lazily rest her head on his shoulder. Grabbing the soap, he gently presses the bar on her skin and finishes cleaning both of them while the water soothes them.

…

Warm and strong arms encircle Samantha’s waist when she wakes up. The sky has a beautiful blend of yellow and light blue shades, letting her know the sun is about to rise. Just then, she remembers she needs to shut the drapes, so the sunlight won’t Jax.

She shifts on the bed carefully to avoid waking Jax up. However, as she tries to pull away, he tightens his grip on her on her waist, his arms involuntarily pressing her back against his chest. A bittersweet feeling takes over Samantha. These two men would give their lives for her and she doesn’t even have the guts to tell them what she feels. I don’t deserve them. A tear rolls down her temple as she senses Jax stretching on the bed. She quickly wipes the tears away and takes a deep breath.

Jax kisses her back and smiles. “Why are you still awake? I thought the plan was sleeping for a week.”

“It was. But I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

She falls silent. What am I going to say? ‘I like you but I also like Adrian?’ She’s afraid of his reaction, of breaking his heart, but most of all, she’s afraid of losing him.

“Sam, it was a tough night. Not many people can do what you did today. You need to get some rest.”

“I know, it’s just–” I like you and Adrian and I don’t deserve either of you. “I–” Please, forgive me.

“Sam?” He turns her over so she’s facing him, but she looks down. He lifts her chin up and her eyes are glossy, her bottom lip is tugged between her teeth, and he can see she’s fighting back the urge to cry. “We don’t have to talk about this now. Let’s just go back to sleep, okay?” he says wiping a tear from her face with his thumb.

“I need to shut the drapes first.”

“You’re right… Thank you,” he smiles, his eyes blinking slowly a few times.

“Don’t mention it,” Samantha gives a quick kiss and gets up, shut the drapes then returns to bed. Jax lifts up the comforter and she crawls back in. He wraps her arms around her and rests her head on his broad chest.

Jax drifts off to sleep in a matter of minutes. Samantha, on the other hand, remains wide awake. She can’t shake off the feeling she’s going to lose him at the moment she tells him the truth. And she knows she can’t hide it from him for much longer. But right now, she just needs to be in his arms one last time.