Marc Antony’s Woman: Out of Favor

Marc Antony’s Woman
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine.
Author’s Notes- I got a request to elaborate on Antony’s 30 diamond scene from Portia’s POV and it intrigued me because I have strong HCs for Portia, but after talking to boneandfur, I realized I needed to go back further. So I am starting with the scholae scene in Chapter 15. This will be either 3 or 4 parts (depending on how long chapter 3 ends up).
Rating- PG-13
Pairing- Marc Antony/MC
Summary- As Portia falls out of favor with Antony, she realizes the depths of her feelings and how much he truly means to her.

Chapter One: Out of Favor

I emerged from my room to the sound of voices, surprised to see Antony there, talking to Lena. As always, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, but I pushed it down. I should be angry at him for not intervening with Aquila, not fluttering at the very sight of him.

“…hosting two days of games and public holidays to celebrate Caesar’s victory over the traitors in the Senate,” I heard him tell Lena.

“You do know how to keep the people happy,” Lena said dryly.

“It’s my only true skill,” Antony commented with a wink. He looked up then, spotting me and his smile broadened, which just made my heart beat even faster.  I couldn’t help but smile back as he crossed the room, taking my hand in his and kissing it gallantly.

I could see Lena watching us skeptically, but I was too caught up in Antony to care.

“Rfff!”

Artemis let out a noisy bark as she ran up to us, butting her head against Antony’s free hand, demanding his attention.

“She seems to be thriving with you,” Antony commented as he scratched the hound’s head with his free hand, giving me a warm smile.

“She tries to keep away unwanted admirers,” I told him, thinking of how she’d reacted to Aquila and his men and had gotten injured trying to come to my aid. Thankfully, her wound had only been a shallow one.

“Arp!” Artemis agreed, happily.

Antony grinned at me. “I’ll take that to mean I’m not unwanted.”

I was about to respond in a teasing manner when he suddenly whirled around, releasing my hand as he did so “Ei! Who’s that?”

I followed his gaze and sighed when I saw Aqui hanging from the top of a column by one foot. Antony grabbed for him, causing Aqui to scramble backward, something glittery in his little hands.

“Aqui!” I scolded.

The monkey made an unhappy noise and pouted as he dropped the coin he had almost gotten away with. Antony picked it up with a wry grin before returning his attention to me. “Interesting pet you have, Portia.”

“He’s a rascal, but he’s cute,” I commented with a smile,  “I’ve always had a soft spot for boys like that.”

Antony grinned, picking up my hand again as he turned back to Lena. “After Portia’s stunning turn as the Queen of Vulcanalia, I would like her to host the victory games with me.”

I was torn. On one hand, I wanted to be at Antony’s side and I liked the attention of the crowd, but could I really preside over Caesar’s victory games? Wouldn’t doing so be a betrayal of everything I stood for? And yet, how could I say no when it was Antony asking?

“What?”

The furious cry cut off anything I might have said and Antony and I both turned to see Xanthe entering the room.

“You can’t ask Portia to host Caesar’s game!” She declared, glaring at me. “She and Cassius are plotting against him! I heard them yesterday.”

I mentally cursed Cassius for being so indiscreet and Xanthe for her never-ending grudge against me. “Go complain to Senator Glycia, Xanthe. No one here wants to listen.”

“No. Tell me.” Antony declared, dropping my hand, the smiling fading from his face. My heart dropped to his stomach. Surely, he didn’t believe her, did her. “What were they saying?”

Xanthe shot me a triumphant look as she moved closer to Antony. I knew she had been wanting this for months, not only did she want to ruin me, she also envied me Antony’s favor and she wasn’t going to pass up the chance to seize it. “Something about a letter Cassius had from Pompey’s forces and how he should have gone to join them. She was egging him on. She’s been against you the whole time.”

My heart was pounding as I met Antony’s implacable gaze and saw the suspicion written across every feature. I had to say something in my defense, but what? What could I say?

I decided to go for the simplest truth. “Antony, I’m against Caesar, not you,” I pleaded, “I would rather see you rule in Rome than Caesar or the Senate.”

It was the truth. I would always hate Caesar, but I had come to see Antony as more than Caesar’s man and I saw how much he cared for the people. I would support Antony happily, if only his power didn’t come from Caesar, and if the other man didn’t have his loyalty.

For a moment Antony’s gaze softened, perhaps remembering the Vulcanalia parade, and he took a slight step towards me. I thought he was going to reach for me, but he suddenly changed his mind and stepped back, his gaze hardening again. “That is a dangerous thing for you to say. Or me to hear.”

Lena shot me a pointed look, silently reminding of all her warnings about Antony. “Portia was only trying to console Cassius over the death of his friends, domine.” She said smoothly, “he was upset. She told him what he wanted to hear.”

Antony ignored her, his gaze focused on me, his eyes colder than I’d ever seen them. “Is that what you’ve been doing, Portia? Telling me what I want to hear?”

I swallowed hard, unsure how to play this, Xanthe’s gleeful presence making it all the more awkward. I chose to main the air of challenge that Antony had always found so intriguing, hoping to draw him into me one more time. “I don’t know. Have you wanted to hear it?”

Even as the words escaped my mouth, I knew they had fallen flat.

“I don’t like being played with,” Antony told me, before turning his back on me and smiling coldly at Xanthe as he tossed a coin at Lena. “I’m changing my order. Have Xanthe ready to accompany me instead.”

His words were cold, cruel and I knew they were meant to hurt. To remind me of my place and how easily he could replace me.

The door echoed through the scholae as Antony slammed it shut behind him. I stared after him, my heart suddenly feeling very heavy.

“Hah!” Xanthe laughed, forcing me to turn from the door and look at her. “The look on your face, Portia! I’ve been waiting all year for this. It’ll finally be me on the right arm of the First Man of Rome!”

At that moment, I hated her. I’d disliked her for years, for her mean comments and petty behavior and that dislike had grown since Syphax’s arrest but now it had truly turned into hatred as I watched how gleeful she was at taking this from me.

“Xanthe, he’s only going with you to make me jealous,” I pointed out, trying to maintain a calmness I didn’t feel, “he’ll leave you as soon he knows he got a rise out of me.”

“Or maybe he’s finally seen the appeal of a real courtesan,” Xanthe retorted before leaving the room.

As soon as she was gone, Lena gave me a long level look.

“I didn’t do anything!” I defended. “I’ve been careful around Antony.”

Kind of. I hadn’t done anything to anger him, at least, but I hadn’t been as cautious as I could have been. Especially where my own feelings were concerned.

“Not careful enough,” Lena scolded as she led me back to my room and shut the door behind us. “This isn’t going to be as simple as washing your hands of Antony, Portia. He’s far too powerful for you to risk his anger. Or even his indifference.”

I winced at the idea of Antony’s indifference. As much as it hurt to have him furious with me, I knew it would be worse to have him not care at all. Realization suddenly dawned on me, why watching him storm away had hurt so badly, why I wanted so desperately to regain his favor.

I loved him.

I was in love with him.

It was not a comforting thought. Just the opposite. Love had never been the plan and to love Antony of all people and yet… There was no other explanation. Not for the way my heart raced at the sight of him or the way it had felt when he had chosen to believe Xanthe’s lies.

I didn’t voice my feelings out loud, not wanting to give Lena more reason to scold me. “I will get him back,” I vowed instead, “he’ll tire of Xanthe before she finishes saying ‘hello’.”

For once Lena didn’t scold me for insulting Xanthe, she just shrugged. “That doesn’t mean he’ll forgive you.”

No, it didn’t. There were dozens of Xanthe’s in Rome, women who would clamor for Antony’s attention, willing to give him whatever they asked. But he hadn’t spent months pursuing any of them, I reminded myself.

“He likes the pursuit,” I mused, “If I want him back, perhaps the best way is to not show he’s gotten to me.” Antony obviously liked the chase, maybe I should let him chase me again and yet, even as I said it out loud, it didn’t feel right.

Lena made a small noise of disagreement. “Perhaps, but he will be watching you closely after this. He still wants you. He just wants to convince himself that you want him even more.”

Yes. That was it. That was it exactly. I thought of the way he looked when he’d accused me of playing him, his pride had been hurt, but there had been something deeper than that. Something that gave me hope.

“He’ll want to see that I was hurt by what he said,” I mused, that should be easy enough because I was hurt. Not so much by his words, but by his coldness, the loss of his affection. I hadn’t realized how much I’d valued it until it was gone.

“True,” Lena agreed and then she pursed his lips, “but he also needs to remember that you’re not just any woman. You’re Portia, the premiere courtesan in all of Rome, and you beg for no man’s favor. You need to play on his possessiveness, consume him with the worry that while he can’t stop watching you, you might have forgotten him.”

I frowned, hadn’t we just agreed that wasn’t the best course of action?

But Lena seemed undaunted as she searched through my trunk, finally settling on a gown of gold and purple silk. “Go to the games with Cassius, wearing this, and make sure Antony knows you are there on another man’s arm. His own jealousy should do the rest.”

I took the gown, but I wasn’t sure of the rest of the plan. I wasn’t sure that being seen with Cassius was the best idea, given Xanthe’s accusations, wouldn’t that just prove to Antony that she had been telling the truth? But at the same time, it would make him jealous and keep his attention on me, not Xanthe, and wasn’t that what I wanted?

I was still conflicted as I put on the purple dress, but only about Cassius’s role in the plan, not about the gown itself. That was incredible.

Lena looked me over, smiling in satisfaction. “Antony won’t be able to look away from you.”

“No one will be able to look away from me,” I countered and then I paused, “why are you helping me, Lena?”

She shot me a startled look. “What do you mean?”

“Isn’t it just as good for the scholae to have Xanthe in Antony’s favor as me?” I knew it would be bad if I were to fall out of favor completely, but it was unlikely that would happen, no matter how dangerous Antony was, and while it suited me to be Rome’s premier courtesan, surely it didn’t matter to Lena, which of her girls held that title?

Lena took my hands in hers, pulling me towards her and kissing my cheeks. “Haven’t you figured it out yet, Portia?” She asked gently, “I love you. You’re everything I always wished I was brave enough to be. I care about all my girls, but you, you are the closest thing I have to a daughter.”

Her words took my breath away. I had known Lena was fond of me, knew it went beyond a business relationship, but I hadn’t guessed it ran so deep and yet, didn’t I feel the same about her? When I needed comfort or advice, she was the one I turned to. My own mother was just a distant memory, while Lena had been there for over eight years, nurturing and guiding me.

“Thank you,” I told her sincerely.

She nodded and then looked at me. “I know I told you that you need to get Antony’s favor back, but what is it that you want?”

“I want him,” I told her honestly. I almost confessed the depth my feelings, but I held back, unwilling to voice them to anyone just yet.

“Then we’ll make sure you get him,” she promised me before she released my hands and stepped back. “With you in that gown, there won’t be a man in Rome who can resist you, not even Marc Antony.”

**

I couldn’t bring myself to be angry that Cassius had abandoned me to go to the games alone, in fact, I was relieved. I didn’t think jealousy was the way to go, not this time.

Antony’s ego was hurt and the best approach was to soothe that ego, to show him how much I desired him, that he was the only one I cared about.

With that thought in mind, I crossed the stands, taking the seat closest to Antony’s box, where he was sure to be able to see me. I glanced over, noticing that he had put his feet up while he could, as a slave poured wine for him and Xanthe.

I felt a flash of jealousy at the sight of the two of them together, watching her obviously flirt with him and I took a deep breath, just as Antony glanced up and saw me. His eyes met mine across the box.

This was my chance to let him see that I missed him, so I winked at him, running the tip of my tongue across my upper lip, drawing his attention there. I could see him frozen in place, his gaze locked on me, just like I wanted.

I ran a hand suggestively up the front my dress, which was glittering in the sunlight, accentuating every curve, before moving my hand to my lips and blowing Antony a kiss while mouthing the words “miss you.”

I could feel the crowd watching us, murmuring, Xanthe might be the one at his side, but I was the one who had the eyes of the crowd. Not that it mattered, because my attention was totally on Antony and his was transfixed on me. I could see the naked longing in his eyes and felt a stab of triumph. It was working.

Unfortunately, just then, Xanthe broke his spell, reminding him of his duty to the games and he tore his gaze away from me, the moment ended. At least I could take some pleasure in Xanthe’s fury. She had Antony’s attention, but I was the one he couldn’t stop watching.

Antony stood, announcing the next game, and forcing my attention away from him. Because, while winning him back was a priority, it wasn’t my only mission for the day and I bit my lip as Syphax entered the ring, waiting for the signal.

He looked straight at me and pointed his hands as we’d talked. He’d done it. The weapon was there. It was time to kill Aquila.

I glanced at Antony, feeling a moment of indecision. He still believed Aquila to be Caesar’s man and he knew of my history with him. I thought of his warning the night of the Vulcanalia. “I like you Portia, but not enough to let you murder a Roman legate.” If Aquila died, would he know it was me and assume it meant that the other accusations about me were true.

And yet… How could I let this moment pass me by when I’d waited eight years for it?
**