Clanless: Self Control (NSFW)

Summary: Chloe and Lily learn more about what it means to be a clanless vampire, and Chloe struggles to gain some self control as Jax shows her around the shadow den.


Chloe, Jax and Lily sat in a small circle on the floor of Jax’s apartment in the Shadow Den, eating the delicious meal he’d prepared for them.

“Damn, Jax,” Lily said between bites, “I didn’t even know vampires ate, you know…food.”

He smiled warmly. “It’s a bit of a luxury for me, to be honest. But it makes me feel more human. Reminds me where I came from.” He looked at Chloe’s untouched bowl and frowned. “You OK?”

She forced a small smile in his direction. “Sorry, I guess I’m just not hungry.”

Before dinner he’d answered all their questions about being a vampire, the clans, the clanless…and he’d told them what happened to the clanless, eventually. Chloe was overwhelmed with information, and shaken by the new fear of becoming a monster. A sick feeling in the pit of her stomach made it hard to think of eating anything.

Jax saw the look on her face and moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “We’re all together here, OK? We’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you.”

“But you can’t stop me from going feral.”

He frowned. “No, I can’t. Only the clan leaders can do that.” She felt his arm tense for a moment, and then relax. “I have to believe we’ll find a way to end this. Everyone here deserves better than to end up like that.”

“So…what does it mean that we killed a clan leader?”

He considered for a moment. “I honestly don’t know. I have to assume he’ll be replaced, but it won’t be easy. He was on the council because he was powerful, not the other way around. Who knows who the council will choose to give his position to.”

“Someone from his clan, probably?”

“Maybe. I don’t think there’s any precedent.” Jax removed his arm from Chloe’s shoulders to finish his meal but stayed close, his thigh pressed against hers. Even through two layers of clothing his touch was affecting her, driving her to distraction. She watched his mouth as he sipped at his glass of red wine and bit her lip.

“Uhh…Chloe? You OK?” Lily was looking at her nervously, her posture becoming defensive. Jax looked at her and smirked.

“Feeling hungry after all, huh?”

Chloe ran her tongue over her teeth, feeling her fangs protruding aggressively. Her vision was tinged slightly red…

Ahhh, no wonder Lily looks nervous.

“Here,” Jax stood up and held out his hand to Chloe. “Let’s get you to the feeding lounge before you get too hungry. Will you be alright here, Lily?”

“Definitely,” she answered, digging into Chloe’s abandoned bowl of food. “Have fun!”


Halfway down the corridor to the main hall, Chloe stopped and grabbed Jax’s arm. “Jax…I’m not hungry.”

He shot her a knowing smirk that was both infuriating and intoxicating. “I know you’re not.” He stepped closer to her, backing her into a wall and forcing her to look up to meet his eyes. “…but I don’t want you around Lily when you’re not in control of yourself.”

She frowned, hurt by his implication. “I’m in control. I would never hurt Lily.”

He took her hands in his, his expression turning serious. “You don’t know what you’re capable of, Chloe…how easy it is to act like a monster when you’re suddenly filled with power and intense new urges.”

Chloe scoffed. “You seem to trust yourself just fine. You just think I’m a stupid girl who can’t control herself.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re half my age, Chloe, and you’ve been a vampire for about five minutes. I know you have poor impulse control because I’ve been where you are, and it was ugly. I only wish someone had helped me to learn self control before anyone got hurt.”

She studied his face, looking at him in a new light. “Did you…kill somebody?”

Jax visibly winced at the question, no longer meeting her eyes. “That’s a story for another day. Right now, I’m worried about you.”

“How can I prove to you that I’m in control?”

“You can’t,” he said plainly, taking another step towards her. She was pressed against the wall now, his hips lightly pressing against hers, the closeness of his body overwhelming her immediately. He smirked at her again and a mix of rage and desire flooded her veins, making her fangs extend and her eyes glow red. “…because you’re not,” he whispered, completely calm and controlled.

A low growl escaped Chloe’s throat, surprising her. She pressed her eyes shut, the sensory overload proving too much for her. She thought maybe if she couldn’t see his face, his body, the way he looked at her with that smoldering intensity and that goddamn smirk…

It was no use. She could still smell his leather jacket, his sweat, his blood. She could still feel the warmth of his body, the pressure of his hips against hers and the cold brick wall against her back, and the electric tingle that passed between them where his hands held hers. Giving up, she opened her eyes to see him studying her face.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” she whispered.

Jax smiled and let go of her hands, taking a small step back to give her some breathing room. “Self control is a muscle you can train,” he explained. “The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. It’s that simple.”

“So what…you’re going to tease and torture me until I learn how to avoid raping and killing people?”

A wide grin spread across his face. “I mean, it’s a dirty job, but…”

She smiled back. “…Someone’s gotta do it.”


They the next few hours exploring the shadow den, Jax introducing Chloe to all the other clanless who called it their home. Socializing normally like this, she started to feel like herself again. Some of the other vampires she would laugh and joke with, while with others she’d listen to the stories of their lives and how they lost them and ended up here.

After a while they ended up at a door that was painted red, with a velvet rope and a large bouncer standing outside. Chloe giggled.

“Did you bring me to a secret underground vampire night club?”

Jax grinned. “Better. You’re going to love this.”

Inside the club, the show had already started. The tables were packed as three dancers in gorgeous burlesque costumes finished up a dance onstage. Several people offered seats to Jax, but he waved them off, leaning against a wall instead. Chloe tapped his shoulder. “Did we miss it?”

“Just watch,” he whispered, directing her attention back to the stage. The three dancers took their bows and blew kisses to the roaring crowd before daintily running offstage. The stage went dark as the audience continued to applaud and holler, anticipation building for the main attraction.

When a single spotlight finally appeared at the back of the stage, a hush fell over the crowd. A voice came over the PA:

“Ladies and Gentleman, Liv Denera!”

The crowd went wild again as a gorgeous brunette stepped into the spotlight, concealing most of her body as danced, waving large feathered fans in front of her body. She spun and teased, smiling broadly at the audience as she danced. When she finally dropped the fans, Chloe sucked in a breath at the site of her tiny blue and black satin outfit. The way she moved her body was captivating and erotic, and she seemed to be looking right at Chloe…

No, not me, she realized, glancing up at Jax’s face. His eyes were locked on Liv’s, and they smiled broadly at each other. You dog, Chloe thought. Several audience members followed Liv’s gaze to look at Jax and waved happily in his direction.

“I feel like I’m on a date with a celebrity,” Chloe whispered.

Jax elbowed her playfully. “Lucky you.” His warm smile set off butterflies in her stomach, different from the powerful lust that kept threatening to consume her. OK, cool, she thought to herself, I’ve definitely got a crush on a vampire rebel leader old enough to be my dad. She leaned a little closer to him and turned her attention back to the stage, where Liv was slowly removing a long, elaborate silk scarf from around her neck. When she finally tossed it aside to reveal the large black choker she wore underneath, several audience members groaned aloud.

After the show, Jax took Chloe’s hand gently and led her out ahead of the rest of the crowd. Once they were clear of the people streaming out of the exits, he pulled her aside. “OK, now we really should get you fed. Think you’re ready for the feeding lounge?”

“More bags of blood?”

“No…in the feeding lounge we feed off of human volunteers. It’s definitely a different experience.”

“Oh…” She tried to act casual despite the thrill that ran through her body at the thought of sinking her teeth into a warm vein. “Yes, let’s do that.”

Jax chuckled and led her to the lounge. “I’ll be right there with you,” he assured her as they walked. “I’ll help you to stay in control and not hurt the volunteer. You have to stay present and in control so you don’t hurt anybody, OK?”

She nodded, biting her lip in nervous anticipation. They arrived at the lounge and Jax directed her to a plush couch to relax while he found her a volunteer. It took a while but he finally came back with a young woman about Chloe’s age. “Hey there,” the girl said, giving a shy wave.

“Hey,” Chloe said, trying to stay calm and not scare her off. The girl sat next to her and brushed her hair to one side, revealing the side of her neck. Jax sat behind Chloe, leaning in close so that he could intervene if anything went wrong. Between his breath on the back of her neck and the girl in front of her offering up her neck, she found herself suddenly feeling very aroused and predatory. She reached out cautiously and traced the vein along the girl’s throat, feeling the powerful pulse beneath her skin.

Instinct took over and she sunk her fangs precisely into the girl’s neck, letting out a gargled moan as the hot blood started to pour into her mouth. She felt another little thrill as the girl gasped in surprise, then moaned in pleasure. Chloe didn’t even realize she was grabbing the girl’s thigh until she felt Jax’s hand over hers, forcing her to relax her aggressive grip. She was just starting to lose herself to the sensation when Jax’s hand landed on her shoulder, trying to get her attention. When she didn’t react, he leaned in to whisper into her ear.

“Hey, you’re all done. Let her go.” A flash of anger clouded her mind, animalistic instinct telling her to fight him off and keep feeding. She growled at him without releasing the volunteer.

His voice was louder and more commanding this time. “Chloe. Stop.”

Reluctantly, she forced herself to pull away. She sat panting, trying to calm herself, as Jax sealed up the girl’s wounds and thanked her. The girl blushed and excused herself.

“Are you OK?” Jax asked once the girl was gone, wiping a drop of blood off of Chloe’s lip with his thumb. She broke into a wide grin.

“That was amazing!”

He returned her smile and relaxed into the couch. “You did great. Really. It only gets easier and more enjoyable with practice.”

Chloe relaxed into the couch next to Jax, their arms pressed against each other awkwardly close. Her cheeks flushed red but she couldn’t bring herself to move away. They sat in silence for a moment, not meeting each other’s eyes, before Jax spoke up. “We should check on Lily. Make sure she’s getting some rest.”

“Right,” she answered, knowing full well it was the middle of the night and Lily would certainly be sleeping. She couldn’t think of a better alternative, not having any idea what a normal vampire daily routine should look like.

They found her, as expected, fast asleep in Jax’s bed. Jax quietly collected a bottle of wine and two glasses from his kitchen and led Chloe back to the corridor outside. He sunk down to the ground outside his own door and poured the wine, Chloe joining him on the floor.

“This is kind of romantic,” she said with a smile as she accepted the glass. “Like a covert date.”

“That’s the second time you’ve called this a date,” he said teasingly, taking a long sip of red wine. “You got a thing for me, Chloe?”

“Me, attracted to the impossibly sexy rebel vampire warrior? Never.”

He blushed a little himself, giving her immense satisfaction. “Alright, before I get carried away flirting with you, we need to talk about Lily.”

“What about her?” Chloe asked, disappointed by his change of tone.

“Well, where is she going to go? She can’t really stay here.”

“What? Why not?”

Jax looked confused by the question. “She’s human, Chloe. All of us here…we’re here because there’s nowhere else to go. Our lives were taken from us. Lily’s not in the same boat. She can still live a normal life outside of here, and she should.”

Chloe frowned into her glass as she swirled the liquid around aimlessly. Everything had happened so fast, she hadn’t really had a chance to think about long term consequences. Obviously Lily needed to get back to her life, but would she be safe?

And what did it really mean for Chloe to not be able to return to her life?

“Jax…am I…” she couldn’t finish the question. Seeing her sudden pain, Jax laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, then pulled her into a soft embrace. She cleared her throat, trying again. “Am I dead?”

“Oh, Chloe,” he whispered. He gently placed his hand above her heart, feeling its strong beat. “No, of course not. You’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating. But you are not who you were before. And to the human world…” he pulled her close against him once again. “Yes, to them I suppose you’re gone.”

She felt like she should cry, but no tears came. In spite of the overwhelming feelings she’d been dealing with for the past 12 hours, this part of her, the part that should miss her family and the promise of her future and everything about her old life, felt strangely numb. She focused on the idea of the pain, searching for it, but it seemed just out of reach.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice Jax leaning into her until his lips pressed softly against hers, testing the waters. She smiled against his mouth. “I thought we were talking about Lily.”

“I got distracted,” he confessed before kissing her again, harder this time, his arms encircling her. She melted into him, the electricity of his touch driving her wild.

“If this is another self control exercise of yours, I swear to god…”

He chuckled and pulled her into his lap. “You don’t like it when I tease you?”

“Well, I didn’t say that…” She leaned into his kiss again, sliding her hands under his jacket and wrapping them around to feel his muscled back. His hands crept under her dress to grasp and massage her upper thighs, tantalizingly close to the edge of her panties. “Jax,” she breathed, her voice a desperate whisper.

“Yes?” he answered, his lips grazing her ear.

“Shouldn’t we find somewhere more private?”

“Hmmm…” he glanced up and down the corridor, glimpsing a few people walking past in the distance, all trying to look away discreetly when they spotted the two of them making out. “Well, I’d hate to wake Lily…unless you want to get her involved,” he said with a devilish grin. Chloe laughed.

“I want you to myself tonight, if that’s alright,” she answered, kissing his neck softly.

“More than alright. Come with me.” He lifted her off of his lap and stood, offering her his hand. They walked quickly down increasingly dark corridors until Jax opened a door into a pitch-dark room. Chloe followed him in and blinked several times, trying to adjust to the low light creeping in through the open door. It was tiny and cluttered with old emergency barricades and janitorial equipment.

“Sorry, I know this isn’t terribly romantic, but…” he kicked a folding chair out of the way, “…it’s private.”

Chloe nudged the door shut, letting the total darkness envelop them. “It’ll do just fine,” she purred, pulling Jax against herself, clinging to him in the dark. She slid his jacket over his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. “Mmmmmm,” she moaned softly as she ran her hands over his chest and arms, appreciating his perfect body. “Are all vampires this hot?”

“Just me,” he answered, smiling against her lips, “although you certainly give me a run for my money.” He grasped the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head, his hands grazing her skin as they came back down to her bare waist. His fangs traced a line from behind her ear down to her collarbone, giving her goosebumps. He nudged her bra strap off her shoulder and gently tugged the fabric down over her breast, lightly nibbling and sucking at her soft skin as he went. She gasped as he took her nipple into his mouth hungrily.

Her hands found the fastenings of his pants and undid them hastily, reaching in to free his straining length from his underwear. He let out a soft groan at her touch and grasped the backs of her thighs, pulling her legs up to wrap around his waist. He stepped forward to press her back against the closed door and panted lightly against her neck. “Are you ready?”

So ready,” she answered, feeling him thrust into her before the words had even left her lips. Lights flashed behind her closed eyelids as he pounded into her steadily, bringing her to orgasm faster than she thought possible and then keeping her there, making her cry out in pleasure with each thrust.

“Yes baby,” he whispered, “tell me what I do to you.”

“You…oh my god, Jax!” Her body was on fire, responding to him like she never imagined possible. Lost in the moment, she buried her face against the curve of his neck, tasting the salty sweat that was beading up there. Without thinking she sunk her fangs into his flesh, thirstily swallowing his blood.

“Chloe!” he cried out, the feeling of her fangs inside him pushing him over the edge. He braced himself against the door as he emptied himself inside of her. “Chloe,” he repeated softly as he came down from the high of his own orgasm, “that feels amazing, but I’m not food.”

She released his neck as he set her down gently on the ground. “Mmm…sorry. I guess I got carried away.” She wiped the blood off of her mouth with the back of her hand. “How do I do that thing?”

“You don’t have to with me,” he answered, bringing her fingertips to the already-healed puncture wounds on his throat. Her hand lingered there, wrapping around the back of his neck to pull him down into a slow, sensual kiss. He moaned softly and pressed his forehead to hers as they held each other in the dark. “I don’t usually do this,” he said softly.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

He laughed. “I’m no saint, I’ll admit, but this is not normally part of the intake process. I swear.”

“Jax…I’m not sure I properly thanked you. For rescuing me. For taking care of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Chloe. I would’ve done it for anybody.” He kissed her forehead affectionately. “But I’m especially glad to do it for you.”

She smiled and lowered herself to her knees, ready to show him again just how thankful she was.

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