I Can Love You Better

Note: This story is all contained within Chapter 11 of ROD. Most of the dialogue comes directly from the book except for the parts I added in the beginning from Colt’s POV, a bit of Colt’s diamond scene in the car, and the end conversation with Riya. Speaking of the diamond scene, be warned that I added in some details that were left to the imagination and it gets a bit NSFW in this part. Also a shout-out to @bizzyschoices, as her YouTube video helped me immensely in transcribing the dialog.

Colt watches stunned as Gabi storms out through the garage door. He didn’t think before blurting out Logan’s secret in front of the whole crew, but he was desperate to hang onto her and to not let his own secret out. He’d finally felt like she might actually like him as much as he’d come to like her, to want him more than she wanted Logan. No matter what she would think of Colt’s plan for the brotherhood, it couldn’t compare in his mind to how low Logan had stooped to get her to fall for him, so he had to risk it all and tell her. Colt should have told Gabi the second he found out, or found a better way than this, but what’s done is done.

“Gabi, wait!” Colt calls out even though she probably can’t hear him.” He makes a move to run after her, but he’s held back by a strong arm.

“Let her go, son.” Teppei Kaneko nods in the direction of the door where Logan is already headed. “This is between Logan and Gabi right now.”

“Fuck that!” Colt picks up a wrench among the tools scattered on the floor and chucks it at the nearest wall. A chunk of cement falls out as the wrench hits it and drops to the floor with a clatter.

“Enough!” Kaneko shouts. “Letting your temper get the best of you and getting too emotionally invested is what got you into this situation in the first place. You won’t be helping yourself right now by running after her.”

Colt glowers at his father. This whole situation is really his father’s fault, but Teppei is right. Colt will just look like even more of an asshole if he tries to interrupt them now. He huffs and stomps over to the couch, sinking down with his head in his hands. He doesn’t want to hear what anyone has to say right now.

~~~~~

Logan races out of the shop to catch up to Gabi already halfway down the block. “Gabi, Wait! Let me explain-”

“And why should I believe a word of your ‘explanation’? You’ve done nothing but lie to me since day one,” Gabi hisses, the typical warmth and sparkle in her eyes replaced by an icy glare.

“I didn’t know you back then. I didn’t care about you. You were just a random stranger, someone the crew could use.” As the words come out, Logan realizes he’s not making it sound any better.

“I was nobody to you,” her voice softens and the sadness and disappointment evident on her face are almost worse than her stone cold anger.

“You were. But once I actually got to know you…” Fuck he’s bad at this. “At some point it all stopped being pretend.”

“I wish I could believe you…” Gabi trails off.

Logan runs a hand through his hair. “Let me be honest for once. Whether you believe me of not…whether you forgive me or not…please let me explain.” She crosses her arms and waits, so Logan continues. “Okay, let’s go somewhere more private.”

Gabi’s eyes narrow. “I’m not going anywhere with you, Logan. You’re telling me right here.”

Logan sighs. “…Alright, what do you want to know?”

“I said everything, that means everything.”

Logan inhales deeply and proceeds to tell Gabi how Kaneko paid some people off and got information on Gabi’s dad. How Kaneko came up with the plan to have Logan get to know Gabi’s and get her on their side, but how it was Logan’s idea to call the cops on the house party to gain her trust faster by helping her escape.

Gabi’s face falls again after taking in his words. “Did you feel anything that night?”

“Of course I did Gabi, how could I not have?” If only he could make her understand even though it was his job to win her over, all the feelings were real – are still real. It didn’t feel like a work to hang out with such a smart and pretty girl. He didn’t plan to kiss her that night, but he hadn’t been able to help himself.

She rolls her eyes. “Was it guilt?”

“No…not guilt. When I was with you I forgot about everything. About the crew, about your dad…I was just happy.” Happier than he can ever remember in his life if he’s honest.

“I’m so stupid, how could this have turned out any different. You’re a criminal!” Hearing this word from her lips cuts Logan deep, even though it is the truth. “I should have known someone like you could never care about someone like me. It was only ever about my father.”

“That’s not true–”

“All those time you were asking me about my dad…You were pumping me for information?”

“I was asking for your help to stay out of prison–”

“You still can’t be honest with me, huh?” Gabi scoffs.

“Okay, yes, I was trying to keep us one step ahead of your dad. But the moment you told me your dad’s partner knew, I told you to go home. I was trying to protect you. I knew you shouldn’t be here.”

“You were right. I should have left. But you still should have come clean to me then, instead of just ignoring me or yelling at me.”

“I know. But I was afraid of–”

“Of what?” She snaps.

“Of this! Of what’s happening right now!” Logan takes a step closer, but she takes another step back. He wants to take her in his arms, to show her that however this started, it is now the most real thing he’s ever had, and as much as it killed him to try and make her leave that first time, he thought she’d listen and he’d spare her the pain and humiliation of finding everything out. He really had thought she wouldn’t come back, but when she did, he hadn’t known what to do. “This has been killing me forever. I kept trying to find a way to tell you.”

“This is what you wanted to get off your chest? Right before the stadium job?” He can see her wheels turning as she puts the pieces together.

“Yes, Gabi, please.” Logan pleads. “Yes things started out as a lie. But the crew? You’re one of us now. Even Kaneko believes it. They care about you. Toby, Ximena…hell, even Mona. I care about you and I’m…I’m sorry.”

“How do you expect me to believe that?”

“I can barely believe it myself. I can barely believe that some girl I just met takes over my every waking thought. I can’t believe that, every time I look at you, I feel like the luckiest bastard on the planet.” He hesitates, but he has to tell her because it might be the only chance he gets. “I can’t believe I love someone.”

He notices a flash of something in her that gives him hope, but then it’s gone all too soon. “Don’t say that, Logan. Please don’t say that now just to get me to change my mind–”

“I’m saying it now because I think this is the last time I’m ever gonna see you. And if I don’t say it, I’ll regret it the rest of my life. So, I’m not trying to stop you from leaving. I’m just asking you to believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you.”

“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t want to hurt me, Logan. What matters is that you didn’t care.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.” He’d learned throughout his life to see other people as a means to an end. He’d found out way too young that loving and trusting only ever left him hurt and disappointed, and as much as Kaneko did for him, he only ever reinforced that. He told Logan not to get attached, and he could have left everyone else there in heartbeat, until he met Gabi.  “But I do now.”

“Too little, too late. Anything else to say for yourself?” Logan stares at her for a long beat. He’s left it all out on the table, and she still doesn’t believe him, or he’s done too much damage for her to ever be able to trust him again. “Well?” She demands a response.

“I keep thinking there’s gotta be something I can say to take it all back, the right combination of words…But there’s not, is there?” She’s the only person he’s ever truly loved, and possibly loved him back, and he’s fucked it all up.

“No, there’s not.” And with that, Gabi turns and walks away.

Logan watches her go, hoping she’ll realize she’s not ready to let him go and come back. He sees her look back as she rounds the corner but she keeps on going. Logan wonders if she can see the tears forming in his eyes from that distance away and if it makes her feel anything at all. He waits until she’s completely out of site to break down. He hunches over with his hands on his thighs, barely able to breathe, tears falling like raindrops on the pavement.

~~~~~

Logan walks back in through garage door with his head down goes straight up to his loft without saying a word. Colt still hasn’t moved from his spot on the couch, but now that Logan is back, he’s not waiting around any longer. He gets in Gabi’s car and peels out of the garage. He has no idea where she went, but he takes his best guess, and sure enough he catches her heading towards the the bus stop. He honks to get her attention and she turns around, startled.

“Gabi, Get in the car.”

“Leave me alone,” she growls back at him.

“Come on. Let me drive you somewhere. It’s your car.” Maybe he can appeal to her practical side because nobody really wants to take the bus.

“Not anymore. I don’t want anything from you people.”

He honestly hadn’t expected her to be this mad at him. He was the only one who had the guts to tell her the truth. “Hey, we didn’t all lie to you like Logan.

“Yeah, because you care so much about me, humiliating me in front of everyone,” Gabi seethes.

That wasn’t his intention, but he can see her point. “If you’re gonna yell at me, at least do it up close from the comfort of the car. Besides…you’ll definitely regret letting your pride win next time you’re riding a bus to school.”

Gabi rolls her eyes but stops and gets in anyway.

~~~~~

Gabi can’t believe Colt thought he could just show up like a white knight and rescue her. He’s hardly apologetic, thinking he’s done her some great service by telling her about Logan. He finally seems to get how angry she is after she lays into him for not having a home to go to.

“Look, you have every right to be pissed at me. That’s definitely not how I wanted to tell you. But I hated knowing how that asshole was using you.

“How long have you known?”

“Dad didn’t tell me until after the Grapevine job. He didn’t tell me about anything at all until he had no other choice but to trust me. What was I supposed to do, knowing Logan was using you, knowing I wasn’t supposed to say anything? It was eating me up inside, and I just…snapped. I’ve seen the way you look at him. I knew the longer we waited, the more it would hurt you.”

That’s really what this is about, isn’t it? He knew she was torn between the two of him, so he threw it in her face when he was afraid he’d lose his advantage. “But you’ve seen the way I look at you too, haven’t you? Why couldn’t you of all people be honest with me?”

“It never seemed like the right time.” They pull up to Riya’s house and he looks at her sincerely. “You deserve so much more than Logan, Gabi.”

“And who can give me that, you?” She challenges.

“Hell yeah I can. The rest of the crew, they’re not like us. They’re just scraping by. But the two of us?” He brushes a strand of hair from her face and she feels the first bit of her resolve start to crumble. “We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town.

Colt leans in closer and she stops him. “Colt…”

“All I’m saying is…You belong with someone who knows how much you’re capable of.”

Gabi meets his intense gaze, and she remembers why she fell for Colt so hard in the first place. He gets her and values her for what she’s worth. It’s dumb and she knows it, but she’s vulnerable and emotional and she just can’t help herself, leaning over the center console she captures Colt’s lips with her own.

Colt pulls away stunned but then a smile creeps back on his face. Like she’s lit a fire inside him, he responds, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her onto his lap. He parts her lips and kisses her deeply, and she lets a moan escape. “Colt…” His hands roam up and down her back leaving her skin alight with fiery trails wherever he’s touched.

“Is that a ‘yes’?

She feels dizzy, intoxicated by the sight, the scent, the feel of him. “To your whole ‘rule the world together scheme?”

Colt smirks. “That’s the one.”

Her world’s been turned upside down and she doesn’t know what she wants, except being with him in this moment. “The only promise I can make you about the future is that I’m gonna want a lot more of this.” Gabi gestures between them. She swings her leg over so she’s straddling him now, their hips pressed together.

Colt’s grin widens as he pulls her even closer. “Then I’ll just have to ask you again later.”

“As long as you keep kissing me in the meantime,” Gabi replies and Colt doesn’t wait for any further invitation. He kisses the curve of her neck, swirling his tongue around and sucking just hard enough, sending a rush of blood to her core.

“Like this?” Colt grins cockily, knowing exactly what he’s doing to her.

“Yes…” Gabi purrs. She closes her eyes and tosses her head back getting lost in the feeling. He kisses up to her ear, down her jaw, and back to her lips, his mouth leaving a path of electrical current in its wake. He swallows her moan with another fiery kiss, her hands tugging at his hair. “Colt…”

Colts hands wander to the hem of her sweatshirt. He plays with the fabric and strokes the sliver of bare skin there, tentatively, like he’s trying to gauge her reaction. Gabi tilts back slightly and grab’s Colt’s hand, surprising him. “What’re you…?”

She guides his hand under her shirt, relishing the feel of his calloused fingers against her soft skin. “Just touch me.”

Colt smirks again before descending to the dip in her collarbone and Gabi lolls her head to the side to grant his mouth better access. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” His hands creep up further and further until he’s tracing the curve of her breasts over her thin lace bra. She gasps as his thumbs graze her nipples, stiff peaks forming underneath.

Their lips crash together again, Colt’s unhooks her bra, and slips his hands underneath, thumbs tracing circles over her sensitive buds sending heat and wetness pooling between her legs. She grinds down onto him, and Colt groans. Even between their layers of clothing, she can feel how hard he is and she needs more. She rhythmically rolls her hips, rubbing her clit in just the right way to keep the pleasurable tingle building and building in intensity. Just as she feels she’s about to burst he pulls her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, sending her over the edge. She bites down on his shoulder to muffle her whimper as waves of pleasure course through her body.

Colt stills and waits for her to look back up at him. “Did you just….?” Gabi nods, embarrassed. She’s only ever done that on her own, and she thinks maybe her inexperience is showing, like she shouldn’t have been able come just from that. “Hey, look at me.” He lifts up her chin. “You are so sexy, Gabi. I wish I could feel how wet you are right now.”

His words give her a resurgence of confidence. She stares at him intently as gets up on her knees, leaving enough space for her to guide his hand up the leg of her cut-off shorts. He doesn’t wait for a verbal invitation this time, pushing her panties to the side and gliding a finger through her folds. “Fuck, Gabi…” Colt moans. He dips a finger inside her. “I wish I could be inside you right now. If we weren’t on a public street in broad daylight right now….” He pumps his finger in and out a few times before withdrawing it, and if that feels this good, she can only imagine what the real thing feels like.

Colt kisses her again and when they come up for air, Gabi pulls back. “…Colt?”

“Mmm?” He mumbles as he distracts her with teasing kisses along her jawline.

“Where do we go from here?”

Her question finally causes him to stop and look her in the eye. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can go back to the garage any time soon. Not after what Logan did, what your dad did…” She stares out the window, trying to find the right way to say it. “And I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to be visiting me, for a little while, at least.” As desperately as she wants him now, she needs time and space to get her head sorted out, and that’s definitely not possible when she’s anywhere near him.

Colt softly and soothingly runs a hand up and down her back. “So let’s keep driving. We can go anywhere.Just say the word and I’ll start the engine.”

“Colt…I can’t just leave my entire life behind. I’ve still got my family.” She hopes, at least. “I can’t just leave my dad completely. It would break his heart…and mine. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I just hate the idea of going back without you.”

“Well, maybe next time you’ll come talk to me privately before getting in a big fight and blabbing my business to the entire crew.” She’s half joking, but she’s still not completely over it.

“…Fair point. Can we kiss and make up? He smiles cheekily.

“I thought that’s what we were doing?”

“No, you were talking, I was trying to–”

Gabi doesn’t let him finish, cutting him off with a kiss and melting into his embrace as he pulls her close. Leaning back Gabi’s eyes search Colt’s face and his gaze never falters. “…Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For seeing my worth.”

Colt reaches up to cup her cheek. “You shouldn’t thank me for that, it’s the very least I can do.

Gabi smiles and leans into his touch, wishing she could freeze time for a while and stay here safe and happy with Colt, but she knows she can’t. She leans down to kiss him again before they reluctantly get out of the car.

Colt tosses Gabi the keys. “Take the car, will ya? Toby’d never forgive me if I didn’t make you keep it.”

“How will you get back?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

Gabi nods and colt shoves his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “See you around, Colt. Maybe” Colt nods with a somber expression on his face. She stays and watches him go until he’s out of view and then heads to Riya’s door to grovel for her forgiveness.

~~~~~

Gabi knows Riya won’t be thrilled to see her, but their reunion is rough to say the least. Riya isn’t happy with the idea of Gabi staying, but she agrees and leaves Gabi to get some rest while she goes to school. Things aren’t much better when Riya gets back, but Riya agrees to hear her out, and vents her own frustrations about Gabi moving on and not being there for her. They still have a long road to get back to where the were, if that’t even possible, but Gabi feels like she has her friend back. She talks Riya into an old fashioned sleepover with scary movies, snacks, and all.

It’s not long before Riya presses Gabi on what happened to make her leave the garage. She takes a deep breath and lets everything out. Tells her how Kaneko and Logan had targeted her, but that Logan claims his feeling are real. How Colt sat on the information until he could use it at his convenience, but that he’d do just about anything for her.

Riya’s eyes go wide. “Woah. That’s a lot to take in. But how do you feel?”

Gabi sighs. “I still don’t know. I thought Logan was my first love. I felt so deeply for him but he destroyed my trust. When he said he loved me, there was a moment I wanted to jump in his arms but-”

“Wait, he said he loves you? Oh my god, Gabi!”

“I wanted to believe him. I think I do, but I just can’t deal with that right now. If it were just him it would be hard enough, but I started to care about Colt just as much. When I’m with him, I forget about everyone and everything, and it’s just us. He was ready to drop everything for me and go wherever I wanted, and part of me almost considered it. But what would I be getting into? Colt thinks he wants this life as an organized crime boss, but is that really me? When I’m in it, it’s exhilarating and feels like I’m part of something big, but when I step away for a minute, like right now, I wonder what the hell I’m doing. I told Colt it would be best to have some time apart given all the circumstances, and I know Logan won’t come looking for me. This school year is almost over, and I can’t blow it now. Maybe if I focus on my studies, patching things up with my dad, and keeping my distance for a while, I’ll be able to see things more objectively.

“Wow, Gabi. I don’t even know what to say.” Riya leans in to give her a hug. “I’m here for you, but please don’t shut me out again.”

“Deal.” Gabi squeezes Riya back. “Now lets get back to watching movies, stuffing our faces, and forgetting that boys exist.