Summary: After breaking up with Logan, Maribel discovers that she is pregnant with their child.
Author’s note: This is for Ride or Die Appreciation Week.
Maribel stared at the two lines on the test stick, her fears confirmed. She was pregnant.
She was such an idiot! It wasn’t as if she didn’t know that this could happen. But when she was staying with Logan, things hadn’t gone that far. She had no idea that Riya would arrange a hotel room for her and Logan on prom night. Logan hadn’t known either. The mood and the setting were perfect, and it felt so right. And she had already been living dangerously; this was just one more risk, and she figured that the odds were in her favor. It was just one time. Except it ended up being two times, since it happened again when they stayed at Vaughn’s house. They were hiding from the Brotherhood, so they didn’t exactly have time to go out and buy condoms. And for all she knew, it was her last night alive. Of course she wanted to spend it with Logan.
She missed him so much. Now she was pregnant with his child, and she had to go through it alone. She threw the test stick into the trash and began to cry.
She washed her hands, then rushed into her dorm room and flopped down on the bed. She lay there, sobbing into her pillow, until she had no tears left.
Finally she picked up her phone and called Riya.
“Hey, how’s Langston?” Riya asked.
“Ri, I have a problem. A really big one.” She paused, willing herself to say the words aloud. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my God! How?”
“Logan and I…”
“I know how it happens! You didn’t use protection?”
“We didn’t have any! And I didn’t know it was going to happen. He was my first, and we didn’t do it until prom night.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. My dad would freak out if he knew. And if he ever finds Logan, he’ll kill him. Maybe literally.”
“You’ll have to tell him eventually. Unless you don’t have the baby.”
Maribel thought about her maternal grandparents, extremely religious Catholics. She knew their views on that subject, and how disappointed they would be in her if she made that choice. “My grandparents would probably think I would go to hell for that.”
“Well, I’m on your side, no matter what.”
“Thanks, Ri. I just wish I could talk to Logan about this.”
“Can’t you call him?”
“No, his old number isn’t in service. I guess he really wanted to make sure it would be over between us.”
“He loves you, Maribel. I know he does.”
“I know, Ri. It’s just so hard.”
“Does anyone know how to reach him?”
“Maybe his cousin Vaughn.” She told Riya what she knew about Vaughn, and they talked for a while longer.
After ending the call, Maribel looked through the photos on her phone. She still kept Logan’s pictures on it. He should be here with her now. He could have come with her, and looked for a job here. She could help him study for his GED, and then maybe he could go to community college. They could raise this baby together.
She wondered what her mother would say. She wished she could talk to her. There was no way she could talk to her dad. She couldn’t turn to her grandparents either. But there was another member of her family she could confide in. She scrolled through her contacts and called her cousin Vanessa in Westchester, Oregon.
“Maribel! How are you?”
“I’ve been better. You’re the only one in the family I can talk to about this. My dad would freak out. So would Grandma and Grandpa. I really miss my mom right now.”
“I miss her too. So does my mom. But you always have us. What’s wrong?”
“I’m pregnant. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Have you told the father?”
“I don’t know how to reach him. We broke up.”
“What an asshole! You deserve better.”
“No, it’s not like that. It’s complicated. He loves me, and I love him. We just can’t be together. He’s running from the law, and he doesn’t want to put me in danger. I know how that sounds, but he’s a really sweet guy, I swear.”
“He sounds like trouble, but I’ve lived through plenty of danger myself, so I won’t judge you,” Vanessa assured her.
“Thanks. That’s a relief.”
“I’m here for you. And I’m sure my parents will be too, if you need them.”
“Yeah, Aunt Sara and Uncle Fernando are way more permissive than my dad. I bet they’d take the news much better. My dad would want to kill Logan for touching me. I can’t see them doing something like that.”
“Definitely not. They let Connor sleep over.”
“What?” Maribel couldn’t imagine having that much freedom at home.
“Well, I’m an adult, we’ve been together a long time, and they probably think we’re safer at home.”
“Because of those wild animal attacks?”
“It’s a lot more complicated than that, but you’ve got enough to deal with right now. Anyway, you can count on us.”
“Don’t say anything about this, OK?”
“I won’t,” Vanessa promised.
Over the next few weeks, Maribel avoided talking with her father for too long. How could she tell him that she was pregnant with Logan’s child? She knew he loved her, but he would be so angry, especially at Logan. She couldn’t face that right now. And since she was on the other side of the country, she could keep her secret for a while.
When she wasn’t studying, she considered her options. Maybe next year she could get an apartment off-campus. She could look for a part-time job and hire a babysitter.
While sitting in class one day, Maribel began to feel a cramping sensation. She returned to her dorm room after class and lay down, but the cramps got worse. When she went to the bathroom, she saw that she was bleeding.
Maribel began to cry. Was she losing the baby? It didn’t look good. She rushed over to Langston’s student health center, where her fears were confirmed.
Even though she wasn’t really ready to be a mother, she still felt sad. Her heart was breaking all over again. She’d lost the last part of Logan that she had left. When she got back to her room, she lay down on the bed. She touched Logan’s sparkplug on the chain she wore around her neck. She really needed him now, but he wasn’t there.
Her phone rang. She picked it up and looked at the number. It was unfamiliar to her. Who the hell was calling her now?
“Who is this?” she demanded
“Maribel, it’s Logan. Vaughn said you needed to talk to me, that it was important.”
“Logan? Oh my God. I’ve missed you so much.” It was a miracle. There he was on the other end of the phone, right when she needed him most. Riya must have tracked down Vaughn.
“I’ve missed you too. What’s going on?”
“I found out I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby. I wanted to let you know that you were going to be a father. But I just lost the baby. I wish you were here with me now,” she sobbed.
“Oh God, Maribel. I’m so sorry.” She could hear the heartbreak in his voice.
They talked for a long time, comforting each other, until Maribel could barely keep her eyes open.
“I should let you get some rest. You sound exhausted. Remember, I love you, always.”
“I love you too, Logan.”
Before she drifted off to sleep, she looked at her phone with a sudden realization. She pulled up her list of recent calls, and there it was at the top. Logan’s new phone number. He wasn’t completely lost to her after all. She might not know how to find him physically, but now she knew how to reach him.