732 Days: It’s Time

Summary: Kenji finds it harder to cope with Thea being gone.

“Kenji…Kenji where did she go?”

“I…I don’t know!”

He could still remember that day clearly; standing amidst the rubble, his eyes locked on the sky, refusing to look away even as the bright light from the explosion pierced his vision. He’d remained frozen there for what felt like hours, watching, waiting.

Eva eventually managed to pull him away, convincing him to convene with her, Poppy, and Dax at the clock tower. He’d half expected Thea to be there lounging on one of the couches when they walked in, a sly grin forming on her lips when she saw the crestfallen look on his face. “What, you really thought you could get rid of me that easily?” she’d joke.

But she hadn’t been there, not that day, nor the next, nor the 729 after that.

Two years. She’s been gone two whole years, Kenji thinks, Thea’s deep blue eyes gazing up at him from dozens of pictures scattered across his desk. Once again, he is spending a late night in his office at The Grand. Closing time was hours ago. The last of the staff had left him with a quick wave and an understanding that he didn’t plan to leave anytime soon.

He claimed it was business keeping him late night after night; expense reports, inventory, staff schedules, researching new entertainment acts. And occasionally it was, but typically he had ample time during the day to complete those tasks.

No, lately it wasn’t work keeping him here. It was her.

As the second anniversary of the infamous battle with Silas crept up, Kenji had found himself spending more nights in his computer chair or on a plush couch in the lounge area, and less in his own bed. It was easier to remember her here.

He could see her, sitting across a darkened booth with him, eyes sparkling in flirtation, asking simple questions that, for some annoying reason, made him blush. On the dance floor he could smell her subtle floral perfume and hear the sensual songs they always swayed to on their nights out.

Sometimes he’d just sit at the bar with his eyes closed, remembering the last night they’d been together. He could almost feel her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and taste the strawberry lip gloss on her soft, perfect lips as they pressed against his in a passionate kiss.

Almost.

Tonight he is reminiscing through photographs. A special box in his locked desk drawer holds a stash of photos for nights such as tonight, when all he wants is to see her face again and get lost in the ocean in her eyes. He’d collected a variety of photos over the past two years, some he’d taken himself, others he had received or ‘borrowed’ from his friends.

He wanted one of an adolescent Thea in braces and pigtails, but Rochelle refused to part with it, stating it was the only copy she could still find. Instead he’d settled for toddler Thea perched behind a sparkly purple tricycle, two blonde braids barely skimming her knuckles on the handle bars, a giddy smile plastered on her face. More often than he wanted to admit, he imagined taking a similar picture someday of his own daughter, his and Thea’s.

Now though, he focuses on his favorite picture, studying Thea’s hair-framed face and the carefree smile upon it which shined brighter than the lights of the city behind her. He snapped it the night of the opening of The Grand while they sat on his motorcycle atop a hill overlooking the city. It had been the background on his phone ever since.

Suddenly his phone buzzes and a text message obscures his current view.

He can’t help smiling. His mother had figured out his secret over a year ago and although she was angry for a good while that’d he’d kept it a secret, she mostly understood. It wasn’t long afterwards she’d connected the dots between Thea and Steel Falcon. He knew it hurt her to see him like this lately, gloomy and pining for Thea, so he tried his best to be his normal cheery and naturally charming self around her.

But it was getting harder, as was everything else in his life as of late.

Taking a swig from the dark drink on his desk, Kenji pulls out the last memento from the photo box; the rose he’d held between his teeth two years ago. He had it dried in the weeks following Thea’s disappearance. It was the first item he placed in his memory box at The Grand. He wanted it close by so he was ready for a reprise of that steamy night if Thea returned.

When she returned.

He’s just drifting off to sleep when the sound of the door handle turning infiltrates his sense. In a flash he’s upright in bed. He’d locked the door before collapsing in bed, hadn’t he? The door creaks open and Kenji stealthily makes his way to the bedroom doorway, peering ever so slightly into the darkness of the hallway.

“Kenji?” a voice calls softly.

His breath catches in his throat. He knows that voice, her voice. But it can’t be can it?

“Kenji, are you here?”

In an instant he’s in the main room, mere feet from the source of the sound.

“Thea? Is it really you?” he whispers, not sure whether to believe his ears. He fumbles for the light switch and has to squint slightly as bright light fills his vision.

His heart skips a beat. There she is, standing in front of him, wearing the flowered cardigan he secretly loved, looking exactly as she had the day she disappeared.

“Thea!” Kenji exclaims, pulling her into a tight hug. Then, pushing back slightly, he examines her more closely, drinking in the beauty of her features.

“It’s me, Kenji, I’m really here,” she replies with a giggle. “I missed you, too.”

“But, how? When?” He asks incredulously, gazing deeply into her eyes, not daring to look away lest she disappear like a dream.

“Not too long ago. I figured out how to get back through the Prism Gate and flew straight here from Prescott Industries. I wanted to see you first,” She smiles the white toothy smile he ached to see for so long.

Soon his lips are on hers, kissing her gently at first, then harder as a hunger greater than he’s ever known begins to build inside him. She responds to his eagerness in kind, pressing her tongue against his lips until they part so she can gain entrance and he lets out a low sigh.

Mouths still locked together, they stumble to the couch. Kenji pushes the sweater off Thea’s shoulders and nudges her backwards so he’s on top of her. He feels her nails dig slightly into the back of his scalp, as she pulls his face even closer to hers. She gasps audibly when he breaks the kiss abruptly.

“Let me show you how much I’ve missed you,” Kenji whispers into her ear before leaving a trail of heated kisses down the side of her jaw and neck. He feels her tremble beneath him as he pulls her shirt over her head and begins tenderly kissing along her collarbone.

“Kenji,” She moans breathily, when his line of kisses reaches her breasts and he slowly continues towards her navel.

No. He pleads to himself. No, not again. Let this be real. Please.

“Kenji!” The voice belongs to Eva now. Begrudgingly, Kenji opens his eyes, the vision of Thea replaced with the dark wood of this desk.

It had only been a dream.

“Hey, Katsaros, I know you’re here, your motorcycle’s out front! Don’t tell me you’re still working. We’re going to be late for the…” Eva stops dead in her tracks, taking in the scene before her.

Kenji leans forward limply in his desk chair, arms and head resting upon the desk top, a small puddle of drool collecting next to his mouth. Pictures and a couple empty bar glass are scattered across the desk and a dried flower lies abandoned on the floor. Her heart drops as she recognizes the one person every picture has in common.

“Don’t tell me you slept here again,” She quips, trying to prevent the increasing worry from seeping into her tone.

“I didn’t plan on it,” Kenji slurs groggily, lifting his head to peer at her with bleary eyes.

She knows he’s lying, this wasn’t a new occurrence. Grayson had reported finding him here, asleep at his desk, every day for a week now.

“Sure. I see you were enjoying some Steel Falcons,” Eva gestures to the glasses on his desk and cocks her eyebrows. “I thought you only drank the Man of Bronze, because it’s ‘a true hero’s drink’,” she teases, a slight grin forming on her lips.

“Hey, even I like to switch up my superhuman themed cocktail of choice once in a while. You know, on special occasions,” He jokes, sitting up straighter in his chair now, and she can see the usual witty gleam creeping back into his eyes.

“Whatever, Bronze Boy. Come on, we have to get to the memorial celebration. Talos and Minuet can’t be late to unveil the newly finished Steel Falcon statute, can they?” Eva tries to keep her tone light, but she can’t quite stop her voice from faltering when mentioning their missing friend.

“Well they could be, if Minuet didn’t refuse to use her time altering powers outside of battle,” Kenji replies without missing a beat, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Oh, she uses them plenty outside of battle. Just not for people with an ego bigger than their abs.”

Kenji lets out a hearty laugh; something Eva has only heard a handful of times this past month. He stands up and is smoothing down his clothes when she notices the smile falter and follows his gaze to the rose.

“I know some of the others already told you this, Kenji,” Eva starts gently, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “but, Poppy, Dax, Grayson, and I are all visiting her grave at the cemetery tonight. We’re going to burry a time capsule of sorts with some of our memories of her. You really should come too. It might help…”

“I’m fine,” He interrupts, trying to smile reassuringly, but she can see the sadness overtaking his eyes again.  “Now let’s get this show on the road. We can’t deny the people of Northbridge the wonder that is Talos for any longer,” His grin broadens as he struts out of the office and Eva follows him dejectedly, knowing she will never win this fight on her own.

The headstone is more elegant than he had expected, Kenji realizes as he reaches Thea’s gave site. He’d waited until his friends had dispersed to emerge from his hiding spot behind a groundskeeper’s shed.

When Eva had invited him to join them earlier, he hadn’t had any intention of going. But then, after the unveiling, while he was on his way to tea with his mother, a call came in from Dax.

A robber with reported super powers was holding up a bank just blocks from his location. It started out as a normal rescue, until something in his peripheral vision caught his attention mid battle; a shadow, a dark, human shaped shadow. Thea, he’d thought.

But when he’d turned to investigate further, whatever he thought he’d seen was gone. His momentary distraction had allowed the robber to grab a hostage and escape. Kenji was eventually able to track him down and defeat him, but the hostage, a young woman, had been seriously injured, because of him.

The thought ate at him for the rest of the day. He hated to admit it, but it was time.

He easily finds the hole the others had dug and carefully expands it. His fingers trace over the engraving that reads, ‘for Thea’, on the cover of the intricately carved wooden box in his hands. He kisses her name tenderly before placing the box in the hole and covering it.

Tears are welling in his eyes, but he doesn’t try to contain them. Everything he’d ever saved for her or to remind him of her is in that box. His heart aches more than he ever thought possible at the thought of never seeing any of it again. Still, he knows this is what he needs to do now.

It’s time to let go.

He lets the thought linger in his mind as he places a single fresh red rose and an envelope on top of the gravestone before turning to walk away.

It’s time to let her go.

Dear Thea,

Two years, Thea. You’ve been gone for two years. We’re still fighting the bad guys, Eva and I.  Dax and Poppy help sometimes too, I guess. But we miss you. We’ve tried finding you, all of us, even Grayson and Rochelle. But they’re losing hope. They have been for a while. I’ve held out the longest, of course.

I’ve been holding on so long, trying to stay optimistic. It’s getting harder though. I didn’t want to admit it, but it’s starting to break me. I miss you, Thea.

I did the unthinkable today; I let a civilian get injured. Not just a little injured either, critically injured. I got distracted thinking of you and it caused someone to get hurt and now her life may never be the same. I failed the people of Northbridge today. 

I failed you. I know you wouldn’t want that from me.

It will take me a while to accept it, but I think it’s time I let you go. I’ve been fighting for you for so long, Thea and I’ll always fight for you. But now, I have to fight for myself, too.

I love you. Forever.

                                            Your amazing boyfriend,

                                                           Kenji