A Guarded Heart

Author’s Note:  It’s been less than 4 days since I read the first two chapters of ACOR (twice!) and I am already in love with this book.  The history, the plot, the characters … I’m obsessed. And meeting a certain young senator definitely has had my mind racing with inappropriate thoughts for the past few days.   

This is just a little something I wanted to dip my toe into after having ACOR on my mind this week.  A little glimpse into my MC Lucia’s mind after her debut as a courtesan, trying to work through her conflicting feelings of heart and mind.  I hope you enjoy!

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Lucia strolled the streets of Rome under the dim light of the August moon, relishing the feel of the cool night’s breeze brushing across her cheek.  The streets were calm and quiet in the early hour of the morning, the only sound echoing through the paved streets the tapping of her sandals along the stones followed closely by a heftier footstep behind her.  Normally on a night such as tonight Lucia would had walked alongside Syphax, recalling the events of the evening and making jokes with her bodyguard, her only true friend in this world. Tonight however Lucia embraced the distance as they made their way back to the scholae, feigning exhaustion for the chance to walk alone and mull over the events of the evening.

Tonight had been her debut, her official initiation into the Roman elite society as a courtesan … and she would be amiss to state that the evening had not turned out much differently than she had expected.  Her villica Lena had trained her well in the art of entertaining men, encouraging her sharp wit and persuasive body language to intrigue the male sex without exposing an inch of flesh. She had warned Lucia that some men were more presumptuous than others, their unwarranted sense of entitlement resulting in uninvited exchanges, and insisted upon the company of a bodyguard to protect her honor.  However tonight to witness the offensive actions of Senator Lucius, grabbing her roughly and speaking in such a demanding tone, was the first opportunity Lucia had to witness this theory in reality. She rubbed the red mark on her forearm where she had twisted from his grasp, thankful that Syphax had intervened when he did before Lucius could have done her any real harm. She felt a sense of security at the memory of Syphax in the heat of the moment, his eyes flashing with rage when he stepped forward from the shadows … she was sure that he would keep a close eye on her from now on when that scoundrel was present.

Her mind flitted over the other faces she had encountered tonight, mostly welcoming and respectful.  One face in particular had held her attention all evening, and Lucia chuckled softly to herself as she thanked the gods that she was not paid to admire another tonight for she would have surely been unable to keep her eyes away from him.  To state that her patron was a handsome man would be a vast understatement, his chiseled features and dark eyes adorned by a crown of chestnut curls was enough to turn any woman’s head. But what had really intrigued Lucia was not his physical appearance alone, but the warmth and generosity that he radiated when he spoke with her.  Throughout her eight years of training she had met many a man through Lena, men to assist in her education and prepare her for the role she was destined to play … but none had ever made her heart flutter as Senator Cassius had done tonight with just a simple smile.

Lucia felt a twinge of regret at the fond memory of this evening, scolding herself for her lustful distractions.  She had a mission, a plan she had worked for eight years to get her to this place for the opportunity to avenge her family and all of the Catauni.  She had vowed to punish all Romans who represented everything she despised, the same Romans that had ordered her village to be burned and for her family to be sold into slavery.  Cassius was a Roman, a senator no less … so why did she have such a hard time imagining that a man such as he could be responsible for the atrocities she had endured in her short lifetime.  

Regardless of her internal struggle to lay any blame on her patron for the evening, Lucia was swiftly reminded of her original intentions as soon as she set eyes on the menacing face that had plagued her nightmares.  The Roman soldier that had been responsible for placing the shackles upon her wrists for the first time those eight years ago … and he had shown up at her debut this evening. If there was a better reminder of her original mission than this coincidence, she could not fathom it at this time.

Lucia could see the faint glow of the sun rising over the horizon as she allowed Syphax to open the door to the scholae for her.  She mumbled a soft thanks and followed him to her quarters, noticing his enhanced level of attentiveness tonight. Before she slipped through the door to her private chambers, she gently placed a hand upon his shoulder and peered deeply into his chocolate irises.  She gave him a soft smile, thankful to find his features soften at her small gesture, the ebony skin around his eyes crinkling with fondness. “Thank you Syphax … for everything. I cannot imagine what would have happened if you had not-“

“I believe you would have promptly reminded him of his mistake, dear Lucia.”  He interrupted, giving her a cheeky grin. “I know fully well how strong and fierce you can be … I did train you myself.”

Lucia chuckled, nodding her head in agreement.  “Alas, it is best I keep those specific skills to myself until the time comes.  I should not frighten these poor Roman men on my very first night amongst them.”

“Will you be alright, my friend?”  Syphax inquired, his head cocked to the side as he waited with concern in his eyes.

“Yes, dear Syphax, I am just rather tired.  It has been an eventful evening.” Lucia paused a moment before stepping on her tip toes to place a chaste kiss to his cheek.  “And again, thank you … good night.” She gave him a soft smirk as she turned to enter her room, closely the door quietly behind her.

Lucia sighed with relief, pressing her back against the door and savoring her first moment of solitude in far too many hours.  Slowly she wandered about her room, discarding her modest jewels in her box of keepsakes before shedding the olive gown from her body and tossing it atop her chest of clothing in the corner.  She shivered at the brisk air trickling in from her window, quickly grabbing her robe from the edge of her bed and wrapping it snugly around her. She settled herself upon the stool before her dressing table to begin disassembling the delicate swirl of copper waves that Lena had securely fastened atop the crown of her head.  

One by one, she detached lock after lock of hair, allowing it to cascade past her shoulders and tickle the flesh along her neck.  She caught her own eye in the mirror, stopping in her tracks as she noticed the plump pink skin of her lips, tugging slightly at the lower one with her teeth.  She brought her hand to her face, lightly trailing her fingertips along the soft skin of her mouth, her eyelids fluttering at the sensual sensation. In that instant she found herself back in that courtyard tonight, her body pressed tightly against Cassius’s firm chest as he pulled her close, their lips intertwined in an ardent kiss.  She could feel the gentle pressure of his fingers kneading into her hips, hear the soft groans and whispers into her neck as he trailed moist nips down her jaw to her collarbone. Lucia swears that if they had allowed themselves to indulge for just a moment longer, if they hadn’t been so loudly reminded of the other guests waiting for their host … she would have been unable to stop herself from becoming his that night.

Her eyes snapped open as she pulled herself from her reverie, giving herself a scolding glare in the mirror.  Lucia, mind your heart.  He is Roman. You can have him, but you must remember why you are here.  With newfound determination she removed the last few pins from her hair, stroked a brush through her long tresses and rubbed a cold damp cloth from her basin across her face to remove the soils of the evening.

As she lay in bed, staring absentmindedly out the small window at the orange glow of the rising sun, her mind and body flickered in and out of consciousness as she slowly relaxed into the arms of sleep.  But in the depths of her subconscious mind, she felt another pair of arms, strong and sturdy, enfolding her in their embrace and bringing a small smile to her lips. At least she could have Cassius, she pondered … enjoy his company and relish in his attention for as long as he would have her.  For that is the role of a courtesan … feign love for your patron to distract him from his worries.  Although with this patron, Lucia feared this act would come far too easily, a part that she should only play with a guarded heart.

END