Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.
Summary: The moment that changes everything.
It was a warm day in Pretoria, South Africa. Liam and Halle were invited by President Zuma for a state tour. This wasn’t a tour meant to promote a particular cause or to enact policy. This was a hospitality visit. Specifically, South Africa was interested in Halle. She was confused as to why. She isn’t the first Black woman to marry into royalty. Not even the first Black American. While she may not have been the first to marry royalty, she is most definitely one of very few if not the first to ascend to queen. Halle’s confusion notwithstanding, now she and Liam were formally hosted.
The itinerary was packed full for most of the trip. Right now, Halle and Liam were in the motorcade on their way to Pretoria High School for Girls. She was there to give a speech and to do a Q & A with the girls. Liam wasn’t participating in that. He would be taken to tour the Union Building with President Zuma. They would attend dinner with him later that night.
Halle’s head was leaning against the window as the city passed her. She felt so tired. She could feel every muscle in her body she was so tired. She couldn’t place why she felt this way. It could be jet lag. It was a 19-hour flight. They were on day 3 of a whirlwind tour that was already pretty emotional with more to come. She tried not to think of how tired she felt since as would have to be “on” soon.
Liam reached over to squeeze his wife’s hand. She turned to him and smiled.
“Halle, are you alright?”
She moved closer to Liam. “I am fine. I just feel so tired.”
“Do you need to rest? We can cancel the next few stops if you would like.”
“There is no need to do anything like that, Liam. I guess I am just feeling the jet lag more than usual, but I am fine.”
Liam continued to look at Halle.
“Really.”
At Pretoria High, Halle was wrapping up the Q & A portion of the visit. St. James had given Halle the signal for 2 more questions 3 questions ago.
St. James was Marceline St. James, her personal press secretary. She joined the staff to have someone to go between Halle and A Demon as well as for Liam to not have to share Antonia with his wife. Marceline was a Haitian expat that got along with Halle instantly as soon as their first conversation turned to oxtail. Halle affectionately called Marceline by her last name because she liked how it sounded.
St. James gave the signal again.
“Unfortunately, I only have time for two more questions.”
A teenage girl stood up. “Your Majesty, my name is Ayanda.”
“Hello, Ayanda. That is a lovely name,” Halle complemented.
The teen beamed at the compliment. “You honor me, Your Majesty, I noticed that you wear your hair natural most of the time. You rarely straighten it. Have you been asked to straighten your hair? Do you get flack for not doing it?”
She looked Ayanda in her eyes as she answered her question.
“I wear my hair natural most of the time because that is how I like it and it makes me feel my best. I also choose to wear my hair like this so that when young girls see me, they see someone who looks like them embrace all of themselves. I don’t want a young girl to think, ‘queens only have straight, blonde hair and I don’t have that so I cannot be a queen.’ I want them to think ‘her hair is beautiful, just like mine.”
There was a small wave of applause after that statement. Most enthusiastically from the African students.
“As for pushback, I haven’t received too much of it, but I think Cordonia embraces a variety of looks and I choose to not yield to suggestions that would ask me to.”
“Thank you, ma’am” the girl returned to her seat.
“Alas, it is time for the last question.” Halle chose a very energetic young girl from the lower grade students. She lept from her chair the moment she was picked.
“Your Majesty?” She asked. Her cherubic cheeks sat on either side of a bright, jubilant, smile.
“Yes?”
“My name is Jabulisile. Most people call me Jabu. Can I get a hug?”
Without answering, Halle walked up to where the girl was standing and pulled her into a tight embrace. Out of the corner of her eye, Mara was ready to act if anything became dangerous, though there was no need.
“Thank you, your majesty. It was an honor.” the girl whispered.
“Jabu, the honor was mine.”
Halle pulled away from her. “Queen Halle. You smell really, really good.” She laughed.
After the Q&A, Halle didn’t have any additional meetings scheduled but she did have to prepare for a state dinner later that evening. She really wished she didn’t have to go. She was so tired she could feel it in her bones. She hasn’t felt this tired in recent memory.
During dinner with President Zuma, she managed to be all smiles and clever but appropriate jokes. While outwardly she looked fine, she still felt off. The smell of the lamb shank that was just serve went straight to her nose in the worst way.
“The spices really enhance the flavor of this dish,” Liam said. “They bring out the gamey and earthy notes of the lamb.”
President Zuma nodded in agreement.
Halle smelled the pungent aromas. It was taking all of her strength not to gag. She usually liked most African cuisines, but if she could just lay in her bed it would be bliss.
“I’m a simple man, who likes his meat and potatoes. This dish speaks my language,” Drake added.
Kiara sighed, “Si prévisible.”
“I don’t know what that means—”
A wave of dizziness and nausea made Halle immediately stand from her chair, “Please excuse me, President. I am feeling a little overcome.”
She left the dining hall and headed to the nearest window she could find. The cooler night air was a welcome relief. Whatever bothered her a moment ago left as soon as it came.
“Your Majesty, is everything alright?” Mara asked.
“I’m fine. I just really needed some air.”
Mara nodded and stood back.
***
“Fuck,” Halle hissed.
Liam was teasing her the way he liked to back at their hotel room in The Silo. He trailed kisses up her waist and between her breasts. Emboldened, he then took a nipple into his mouth making Halle gasp. She closed her eyes letting the sensation wash over her. The pleasure didn’t last very long.
“Ow! Ow!”
Liam immediately stopped what he was doing.
“Are you alright?” He asked cupping her face. “You usually love when I do that.”
She placed her hands on top of his. “I do. It’s just been extra sensitive.”
“Do you want to stop?”
He let his lips hover over her, teasing her before returning to her lips.
“No,” Halle breathed. “Enter me from behind.”
She turned on her side and Liam nuzzled up behind her. He held up her thigh as he guided himself in her. She moaned, feeling his length fill her completely. Without hesitation, he started to move. Her moans coupled with his grunts echoed in their hotel room. After they made love, they slept.
The next morning the subtle wave of nausea she felt during dinner became too much. Halle rushed to the bathroom only to dry heave. Nothing came up.
I’m definitely coming down with something, she thought to herself. Halle couldn’t entertain the thought for long. She had a full agenda to contend with. The sudden knock on the door reminded her of that.
On the way to her first engagement of the day, Halle was supposed to be listening to St. James’s briefing of the event. Her mind wasn’t there. She took out her phone and pulled up WebMD. She wanted to see what kind of ailment she was having before bothering the medic. The Royal Medics while kind can be overly cautious and Halle didn’t want that stress.
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Easy enough.
Symptoms: Fatigue.
The fatigue has been brutal.
Breast tenderness.
I wish that wasn’t so. Liam and I like my breasts. A lot.
Appetite loss.
Food doesn’t smell or taste right.
Nausea.
That’s the new one. Only a little. Nothing major.
Could you be pregnant?
Halle stared at her screen reading the question. She knew it was possible. She and Liam were actively trying. Even so, it couldn’t be that, she thought to herself. No.
Before she could finish the symptom checker, the car stopped letting her know it was time for her next appointment. The worries have to wait until her schedule allowed her to entertain them.
Later that afternoon, Halle was now pacing in the office she was waiting at before her next appointment.
With the hints and coincidences becoming too much to ignore, She knew that she needed to find out what was happening. Getting a pregnancy test would have been so easy if she was still a waitress in New York. As queen, it’s a little trickier. I can’t go to any drugstore without risking getting caught by the paparazzi, Halle thought to herself. I can’t enlist someone to buy it for me without having to tell them that I think I am pregnant. I can’t have a medic test me without getting Liam’s attention. How do I do this?
Unable to think of a better plan, she called Mara to where she is.
“Your Majesty.”
“Mara, I have a weird favor to ask. I need this to be discreet.”
“How weird are we talking?”
“I need you to get me a pregnancy test.”
Mara’s eyes widened for a moment before returning to her usual unflappable demeanor. “Are you—”
“I don’t know. It could just be indigestion or gas, but I need to know for sure. Discreetly.”
“I can get you a test from one of the medic’s kits.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“It’s my job, ma’am”
After her appointment, she got the test from Mara. She then handed her a urine sample container. Halle raised her eyebrow.
“I got this kit from the medic. It’s not one of those fancy stick tests. This was the most discreet option.”
Halle took the sample cup and went to the restroom. She put the cup on the edge of the sink and took a deep breath. Her bladder was full, but she was nervous to relieve herself.
“You could do this Halle,” she reassured, pacing in the tiny bathroom. “It may not even be positive. Liam and I have only been trying for 3 maybe 4 months. It’s not that quick.” She caught her reflection in the mirror. Is it?
Halle stared at the collection cup. A knock on the door brought her back to reality.
“Your majesty, the motorcade needs to leave in 5 minutes to keep you on schedule.”
“O-Okay.”
Her eyes darted back to the mirror. “It’s now or never.”
Halle collected a urine sample and placed the cup at the edge of the sink. She opened the small package with the test. There was a divot for the urine, and there was the testing area where the lines would show up. Before she wondered how to get the urine to the test, she checked the packaging to see if there were any instructions. There wasn’t any. What she did find, was a small pipette.
“Really?” she muttered. “If I knew I was going to relive high school science, I would have taken my chances at the drugstore.”
Halle used the pipette to collect some of the sample. Just as she got some, Mara banged on the door. Halle knocked the rest of the urine into the sink.
“Shit.”
“Ma’am, are you alright? We really have to get going.”
“I need another couple of minutes,” Halle shouted back. She looked at the spilled collection cup in the sink. Luckily, the pipette did not get lost and still had some urine to test with. Hopefully, this is enough. She dropped what was in the pipette into the divot in the test. The control line appeared immediately. Well, the test isn’t broken.
She waited.
At first, all she could see is the control line.
See, you have worked yourself up for nothing.
She cleaned up the bathroom a little and disposed of the sample cup. She looked back at the pregnancy test preparing to throw it away as well, and there it was. The second line. It’s positive.
Shit.
“Your majesty!”
Halle shouted exasperatedly, “Alright, alright. I’m coming.”
Back at The Silo, Halle was preparing for bed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. I don’t look pregnant in my face. I don’t think so. I am pretty much the same as I did this morning. She lifted her shirt to see if her stomach now showed evidence that she was with child. There was a knock on the door. She pulled her nightshirt down before her husband entered.
“So, are you coming to bed?” Liam asked. He wrapped his arms around her as he lowered his head, placing kisses along her neck. Halle closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. His hand grazed her belly, and she flinched.
“You are not usually ticklish there,” he questioned without questioning as he withdrew his hand.
“I am right now.”
Liam raised an eyebrow.
“Are you ready for bed? I know I am.” Halle let out an exaggerated yawn and then walked out of the bathroom, headed to bed. He shook his head and trailed after her.
The following morning was their last in Cape Town. Liam had a couple of meetings that morning while Halle had the morning off which she was thankful for. Her thoughts were just too invasive to push to the back of her mind right now.
Pregnant? Can I really be a mother? When do I tell Liam?
She had always assumed that the moment she became pregnant her doubts would go away and readiness would come. After all, a woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out that she is pregnant. Halle found out that she was pregnant and didn’t feel that. She didn’t feel motherly or ready, just fear.
She sat back against the headboard and closed her eyes.
Halle saw herself playing with a baby girl. The girl was covering her eyes with her tiny hands. She had curly hair like her, Liam’s nose, her lips, and golden tan skin. When the child uncovered her eyes, they were dark brown and round. They were small at first but grew when she said “boo.” They shrank again when she dissolved into giggles. No doubt about it, the girl had Liam’s eyes.
Halle felt warm watching her dream self play with the girl. Then Liam walked into the room, and the girl immediately looked in his direction. Chance The Rapper Berry, trotted behind him.
“There are my two favorite girls.”
He bent down to pick her up and kissed her forehead.
“How is my little princess?”
“Exactly as you left her this morning,” Halle said rising to her feet. Liam extended his free hand to help his wife off of the ground. His smile stretching from ear to ear. Halle kissed him on the cheek. The child’s face became distorted as her skin turned red. She opened her mouth to let out a wail. Instead of a wail, there was a BUZZ.
Halle’s eyes flew open. She was back on her bed. Her phone buzzed again. There was a new text message from Liam.
Just finished my meetings. What are your plans?
Before Halle could text him back, there was an incoming call.
“You know I ain’t got no plans.”
“I know. I wanted to know how you would feel about hiking Lion’s Head with me?”
“I have been feeling exhausted today, I don’t know if I am up for any kind of hiking or other strenuous activity.”
Liam paused on the other line.
“Are you sure you are okay? You have been very fatigued for a lot of the trip.”
“I’m—” Halle paused. She knew that she had to tell Liam the reason why she is tired, but she just felt weird about telling him life-changing news over the phone.
“I just feel tired.”
Liam sharply inhaled. “Are you sure you don’t need a medic?”
“I am sure.” Well, I would need to see one eventually. And an OGBYN.
“Maybe some fresh air would re-energize you. We could do Signal Hill instead. It’s a simpler hike. We can’t spend our last day in Cape Town without seeing the South African sunset. It’s truly remarkable.”
“Okay. I think I can muster up some energy.”
“Good.” She could hear the smile in his voice.
During the car ride towards Signal Hill, Halle took in all of the city. Cape Town was a beautiful, colorful city. She hoped that she and Liam could visit again when they were not on tour. Well Liam and I…and the baby, she thought. Halle wondered would it be like to do a state tour with a child in tow. She didn’t like the idea of her child being with nannies all day while she and Liam did engagements, but unlike other mothers, she was a queen now. She had to uphold her duties. Halle leaned her head against the window, trying to quiet her mind and enjoy the scenery.
Halle could already see Liam as she pulled into the Lion’s Head car park. He was wearing a large backpack and casual clothes suitable for hiking.
“Ready for the hike?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
They took the path to Signal Hill mostly in silence. They walked for a little over an hour and a half to reach the top of the summit. Once there Halle and Liam took in the vistas.
“Wow, the view is so beautiful from here,” Halle said.
“I am glad you like the view,” Liam said setting down his backpack. “I heard that South African sunsets are among the most beautiful in the world. I figured we would stay here and see for ourselves.”
Liam took out a blanket from the backpack and laid it out upon the grass.
“After you,” he offered.
She sat on the blanket followed by her husband. They absorbed the scene around them, the sun becoming a vivid shade of orange. The setting sun bathed their features turning the moment into a memory. Liam broke the silence between them.
“Halle, what’s going on? You haven’t spoken much, and I know that something is on your mind. I thought you would have told me but—”
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted.
Liam’s eyes grew wide, and his mouth hung open. He shook away his momentary stupor.
“What?”
“I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m pretty sure. I took a pregnancy test from the medic. I haven’t done a blood test yet, but I don’t need to guess how that will go.”
“When?”
“I took the test yesterday.”
“Wow.” Liam sat in stunned silence for a moment. His face changed from its resting stoic nature as a broad smile grew on his face.
“We’re having a baby!”
He cupped Halle’s face, kissing her passionately. When they came up for air, he rested his forehead on hers.
“I can’t believe it’s finally happening,” he said hoarsely. Liam leaned back, marveling his wife. His thumbs reverently caressed her cheekbone.
“We are going to be a family. Halle, you have made my deepest desires, my innermost dream a reality. I can’t ever repay you.”
He kissed her again. There was wetness on his cheek, and soon he could faintly taste some salt on the corner of his mouth.
Liam’s eyes opened to look into Halle’s.
Halle wanted to get lost in the moment. Let his excitement arouse hers. Instead of being able to bask in this moment, all of her fears came to the forefront. She felt his joy become trepidation as they parted. His smile faded away as he realized he excitement he felt was not reflected in his wife’s eyes. She was trying to smile. She wanted to be elated. Halle’s attempts to match his mood crumbled as she watched him deflate in front of her. Her eyes welled up with tears.
“Halle?” His small eyes grew large, searching her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Liam,” she croaked.
“Aren’t you happy? We’re going to have a baby.”
“Yes.”
She tried to smile again, hoping her smile would overturn her tears. Their eyes locked, the corner of her mouth waivered and the effort collapsed.
“No.”
Liam shifted away from her and ran his hands through his dark strands. When he looked back at his wife her head was hung low, and all he could see were her curls.
“I thought you wanted a baby.”
“I do—”
“Then what is wrong, Halle?”
She peered at him through her hair, “I don’t know if I am ready.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Liam, I know that you want to have a family more than anything. That is your one wish.” She wiped the tears and her hair from her face and looked at her husband before continuing.
“I knew if voiced any doubts you would have wanted to wait longer. I didn’t want to risk ‘wait a little bit’ becoming ‘never.’ Especially since you-we,” Halle corrected herself, “–we would want a biological child.”
“We could have waited—”
“I didn’t want to make you wait. I couldn’t look you in the eye and deny you your dream.”
“I thought a happy family was our dream. Something that we both wanted.”
“It is my dream.” She reached for his hand, “I want a happy family with you. I am just not sure if I can handle being a good mother and a good queen.”
“Halle.”
“I have officially been queen for a year, and I still feel like it’s my first day on the job. I am always one false move away from blowing the whole thing. Especially because I am not Cordonian. I didn’t want to fail at being a queen and being a wife and mother. I am already failing. I pushed my fears aside to give you this gift, and I have ruined it.”
Liam pulled her close, and she settled into his lap. He cradled her small frame while it shuddered with a sob. “Halle you have not only met, but you have surpassed my expectations as Queen.”
She looked up at him, “And as your wife?”
“You are a dream I didn’t know I even wanted come to life. If anything—”
She placed her hand on his mouth, “I know what you are going to say and I have already assured you that—”
He gently pecked her fingertips before moving them.
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
She raised her eyebrow.
“I was going to say that if anything your performance the Sovereign Queen of Cordonia and as my wife would be dwarfed by the kind of mother you would be. Halle, I cannot possibly imagine let alone want anyone else to be the mother of my children.”
“Considering some of those alternatives…”
Halle shuddered thinking about his previous engagement to A Demon. Liam chuckled.
“Well, I couldn’t say no to you because I could not deny you the chance to be a father or a child, especially our child to have you as a father. I know you would make a good dad. An amazing dad. I was never worried about that part.”
“Really? I would think otherwise considering my father.”
“I know you want to be different and you will.”
She laced her fingers with his. Liam brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on it.
“This is the beginning of a new journey,” he started. He wrapped his arms around her, placing a hand on her still flat belly. “We’re going to be a family.”
“Yeah. A family.”
Liam and Halle watched the South African sky as it’s brilliant colors ended the day and ushered in the night. Halle’s fears were quelled as she relaxed into her husband’s embrace. They both thought of the new life they created.