Tippy’s note: I shared an excerpt from this fic in a Six Sentence Sunday post way back when. Then I sat on it. I don’t really feel bad about it since the time that this was sitting in drafts, I got more canon info to weave in and that is always great. This is the first fic of a series that I have planned for Halle and Liam. I don’t really have a name for the series or anything like that. They are just fics with a common theme/narrative thread: becoming parents. What does that mean? What would that look like? How do you handle that transition from a pair to a family? This fic, in particular, is about how Liam and Halle want the same thing but how they view what holds them back and the challenges around it differently. I hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.
Summary: Liam has something to tell Halle
Liam looked over at Halle. She was sitting up in bed reading from her Kindle. He could usually guess what kind of book she was reading through her facial expressions. If it were true crime, her mouth would hang open as she learned some grizzly detail. There would be a small smile if it were humor. When she was trying to hide a bashful smile and touching her neck, it was definitely a romance.
Tonight, no such expression revealed itself. It remained neutral. He didn’t want to interrupt her reading, but he needed to talk to her. This discussion has been burning in his mind for a while. The topic at hand had come up many times before, even more so now that he and Halle are married. When it did, she would brush it off, and he would play along.
Now Liam was sitting next to his wife, unsure of how to bring it up. He didn’t want to play along or brush it off any longer. While there is no official protocol or an etiquette guide on how to do this, he knew enough that you don’t just blurt out to your wife that you want to have a baby.
Liam has always known that he wanted children. It was one of his secret desires that he kept close to his chest. Luckily for him, it would never be a question of if he had children, it would always be a question of when. As the reigning king of Cordonia, he would be the one responsible for continuing the family line. Of his duties, he didn’t mind this one. It was one of the few requirements of being the king that aligned with his desires and not against them. It was only the details that haven’t been revealed to him, the biggest one being who would mother his children.
Luckily for Liam, that detail worked itself out better than he could have hoped for. He was married to the love of his life, Halle. They have a marriage filled with love and affection while maintaining a sense of duty for the people of Cordonia. Until he met Halle, he always thought that he would have to choose between marrying for Cordonia versus marrying for love not have both.
Liam wanted to wait until the time was right to have children. Not that an early blessing would have been unwelcome, and considering the active nature of he and Halle’s sex life he is a little surprised that it hasn’t happened yet. Thankfully, no surprise pregnancies occurred while Cordonia was still dealing with traitors, nefarious plots and assassins. He shuddered at the thought of trying to bring a child into that. After the initial rocky start of his reign and their courtship, both publicly and privately, everything seemed to be settling down. As much as it can for a monarch. There haven’t been any huge political scandals or threats of a coup for about a year. With that said, during his first Lantern Festival with Halle, even though he didn’t know if or when Anton would be captured, he did know that he was serious about wishing for a baby. Liam was ready. More than. Now that the dust has settled, he just wasn’t sure where Halle was on the subject.
Halle felt Liam’s gaze on her, she looked up from her Kindle to meet it. She knew that look. It wasn’t seductive, or longing, he was worried about something. As her godmother, Mama Reed, would say, “somethin’ is sittin’ on that boy’s spirit.”
“You have been awfully quiet this evening. Is something bothering you?” Halle asked.
She has been with Liam long enough to know that when he gets like this, that she should signal to him that she is open to talking about whatever his on his mind but not press. By asking him, he will hopefully open up to her or tell her if and when he will talk about it.
His shoulders relaxed a little when she posed the question. He took his wife’s hands in his, massaging her thumbs with his.
“Halle? Do you love me?” he queried, his dark brown eyes locked on hers.
“Liam, I love you with everything that I am. You know that, right?”
“I do. Halle, I love you without measure. I–I want to preface what I have to say with how much I love you.” Liam gulped. “I want to say that because what I am about to say could change our lives.”
She gave him a small, encouraging smile.
He gripped her hands tighter and took a deep breath. “I want to us to have a baby.”
Halle widened her eyes as they flashed with shock. Her breaths became more deliberate, making sure that they were not getting faster and shallower. She looked at Liam, but she didn’t respond.
Liam continued, refusing to let the silence overtake them, “I think the timing is right, at least as right as it can be. The public is beginning to grow restless without an heir. We are not getting any younger. Halle, have a baby with me.”
She saw the want in his eyes. They had discussed having children a couple of times before they married. Now that they have tied the knot everyone around them kept asking “when?” Specifically her. Halle knew that Liam wanted children, but in terms of “someday” and “in the future.” Now the future was tonight.
Despite the royal duty to produce an heir, Halle still wasn’t expecting Liam to ask her to have a baby. She thought nature and their haphazard approach to birth control would kind of work it out for them. At this point, they have ditched condoms entirely, and she was only using a diaphragm. Even then it was nowhere near perfect use. If nature said she would have a baby, then a baby she will have.
Liam asking changed everything. Instead of adjusting to just accepting when a child would come into her and Liam’s life, they would try to make it happen. Halle would have to decide that she was ready for a child before she was pregnant as opposed to when. She just wasn’t prepared to do such a thing.
It’s not that Halle wasn’t interested in having children, but she doubted whether she was ready. She was still wrapping her head around being a queen of a small country. Her reign began a year ago, but in Halle’s mind, she is still learning on the job. She was always one false move from a diplomatic/political/sartorial disaster. The moment that she would be found out and replaced with someone more suited to the title of queen could happen at any time.
How can I be a mother when I am barely managing being queen? Halle thought to herself.
“Liam, are you sure? We have a royal tour of Monaco and Greece coming up—it’s not like we have any downtime coming up.”
“I know Halle. It will never get too much calmer than this. I am tired of waiting or hoping that it would just happen. Aren’t you?” Liam’s eyes pleaded with hers.
“I want us to try.”
She thought about what he said. How much longer can we wait? Can he wait? This is the calmest our lives have been since our relationship became public. We aren’t getting any younger. Liam turns 31 this year, and I turn 30. The public is eager for us to have a baby. I just don’t know if I can be a good queen and a good mother. There were so many questions, what ifs, doubts that threatened to overtake her mind. She looked at her husband, and she could see in his eyes how badly he wanted this. This was something he had always wanted. He told her as much. She knows he would make a good father. All of her fears have nothing to do with Liam and everything to do with her. As much as Halle was afraid or uncertain about her readiness, she couldn’t bring herself voice that let alone deny him. Liam had given her everything a woman could possibly want. This was the one thing he wanted. Who was she to keep it from him? She found herself nodding before she could even speak.
“Y—Yes, Liam.” She just managed to get out. “Let’s have a baby.”
Liam was smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. He pulled Halle into a tight embrace and then kissed her. His kisses trailed from her jaw to her neck as lowered her back to the bed. Halle gasped when he kissed her favorite spot. Liam climbed on top of her, slipping his hands under her silk camisole to take it off.
“Oh? You want to start now?”
Liam looked into her eyes, “There is no time like the present.”
Halle looked up at him. She cradled the base of his head with her hand, massaging it. He smiled softly. She knew that she had a decision to make, and she had to make it quickly before he could sense her doubts.
“No time like the present.” She repeated.
Halle pulled Liam to her lips, and he ground his hips against her. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in him. Worrisome thoughts like doubt and readiness left her mind. Right now Halle was focused on Liam and how good he made her feel and making him feel just as good.