Summary: Written a year ago for the prompt “some souls just understand each other upon meeting”. Raydan’s perspective of his first meeting with Kenna.
She’s impossible to look away from. A queen without a kingdom, draped in purple silk and pearls. It’s rare for anyone other than Annelyse to outshine the golden walls of Aurelia, but Kenna’s brilliant amidst the gilding.
He’d heard rumours and whispers about her beauty. There’s no denying that everything he’s heard is true, although it doesn’t do her justice. There are little things, things that must have been unmentioned or ignored. The pale pink cuts on her upper arm, barely healed. The calluses on her sword-hand. The way she holds her head tall. How she’s at ease in a ball-gown and equally so in armour.
But it’s the desperation in her eyes that draws his gaze. She makes polite conversation, exchanges smiles and small talk with Annelyse and the other nobles, but Raydan can see it, unfooled by the mask she attempts to wear.
He knows desperation. He’s let it control him. He may have never had a kingdom to gain, but he’s often had nothing to lose; he’s bartered secrets, looted treasures and stolen lives to get what he wanted, skulked through shadows and sewers, stumbled and fallen and let himself be used in the games of others.
Kenna may be desperate, but she still stands tall and determined and strong. He’s never seen anything more beautiful.
For only a few seconds, he slips out of the shadows. He lets her see him and his isn’t the only gaze that lingers.
It’s only once the feast is over that he approaches her. He’d kept his eyes on her as they dined and he knows, now, that Kenna smiles easily, laughs often, but rarely means either. She doesn’t want a feast, but she’ll play the part if it gets her what she needs. It’s anger that she wears truthfully, quick to scowl when he admits to watching her since she arrived in Aurelia.
The smaller responses are more genuine. The slight curve of her lips when he introduces himself. The widening of her eyes when he confesses his attraction. The delicate blush on her cheeks when he invites her to join him in the gardens.
He waits for her beneath a cherry blossom. He isn’t sure if the meeting’s a good idea – he has orders from Annelyse to watch her, not to escort her around the gardens – but he’d had to invite her. For the first time in a long time, he hadn’t wanted to remain invisible. He’d wanted her to see him.
Of course, there’s no guarantee she’ll show up. He wouldn’t be surprised if she decided it was wiser not to meet with someone who, to her, was nothing more than an associate who hid in the shadows. Given the little information she has, it would be foolish for her to come to him.
By inviting her to the gardens, Raydan has already been foolish. Kenna may not be Queen yet, but he’s certain one day she will be. He’s usually careful not to reach too high, to know his and other people’s limits. He knows what to say and how to manipulate. So many of his encounters are calculated, his words and actions chosen to get him what he wants.
This, he hasn’t planned.
He hears her before he sees her. She’s standing on the bridge, one hand on the railing, looking for him. The warm glow of the lanterns seems to dance on the silk of her dress with each slight movement, the pearls in her hair glittering. Lit by both the paper lanterns and the moon, she’s radiant.
And, apparently, as foolish as he is.
“I didn’t know if you’d show,” he says as he steps into her line of sight.
She gazes at him, her eyes bright. “I thought I’d take a chance on you.”
Her smile is wide, beautiful, real. Now that they’re alone, she’s less wary with her emotions. He had been able to read her before, but now she’s an open book. She’s intrigued, attracted, and she’s letting him see that. She’s taking a chance by trusting him, and although Raydan is usually reluctant to trust anyone, he wants to do the same.
“Then I’ll be sure to impress,” he says, joining her on the bridge. “Although, I must confess I find it hard to believe you are not already taken.”
Kenna seems surprised by his forwardness, but Raydan sees no reason to be coy. He’s not playing a game. He hadn’t been when he admitted to finding her attractive and he still isn’t now. He’s simply drawn to her in a way he’s never been before, and he wants her to know exactly what he wants so she can decide if she wants it too.
“There’s no one else.”
At that, he returns her smile and offers her his arm. She tucks her hand into the crook of his elbow and lets him lead her around the garden. He offers her flowers and compliments – ‘untameable’, he calls her, ‘passionate’ – and when she asks him what he does for Annelyse, he tells her the truth.
It’s not the first time he’s told others what his role is in the Aurelian court. He’s found honesty is often more effective than lies. It is, however, the first time there’s been no reason to tell the truth other than she had asked and he wanted to answer.
When she asks for more details on how he came to work for Annelyse, he keeps his answer vague but honest. He doesn’t think she needs to know the exact details of his rise through society, but he’s struck by the unfamiliar feeling that she’s guessed at almost everything he left unsaid anyway. He half-expects her to leave his side – royalty shouldn’t be seen openly meeting with murderers, after all – but he’s unsurprised when she doesn’t.
Instead, there’s understanding in her eyes.
He suspects he knows why. He’s certain she’s had days where she’s entertained the idea of sneaking back into Stormholt and seizing her kingdom back with a single strike to someone who has their back turned or their eyes closed.
But Kenna’s a better, more honourable, person than he is and those thoughts never became anything more than temptations.
Raydan had given in. He had killed, lied, and stolen on demand, used his employer’s secrets to his own advantage to manipulate his way into Annelyse’s golden court and into a position where he could remain in the comfort of the shadows and yet no longer want for anything.
He sees Kenna and he wants again.
He changes the subject back to something easier, but they only exchange a few words before he’s giving her flowers and she’s standing close, his bouquet in her hands. When she asks him if he has any other tricks she should be aware of, there’s only one thing he wants to do.
His hands rest on her hips, the silk rippling slightly under his fingers, and he leans in. This close, her breath brushing against his lips, her eyelashes tickling his cheek, he can read every thought that plays across her face. He’s never been one prone to fantasy, but with her in his arms, cherry blossoms above them, it’s as if he knows her, and when the corner of her mouth lifts in a smile and her eyes brighten, he knows she’s going to kiss him.
He’s already tugging her nearer, his hands sliding easily on the silk from her hips around to her back, but it’s Kenna who tilts her head up and finally presses her lips to his. Her lips are soft, warm and demanding under his. He wraps his arms more tightly around her, one hand creasing the silk at the small of her back and the other just below the base of her neck, her bare skin cool beneath it. The flowers are held loosely at her side, her free hand gripping at his shoulder.
There’s nothing in his mind but her.
Kenna’s the one who moves even impossibly closer, the one whose hand travels to his hair and pulls him deeper into the kiss as she lifts onto her tiptoes and presses her lips harder to his, the one who teases his lips with her tongue until he opens to her. She’s the one who demands more, more, more, and all he wants is to give her everything.
But he has plans to make and orders to act on, and as much as he may want to, he can’t lose this night to her kisses, to her.
He leaves her in the garden with flushed cheeks and red lips.