Twenty years ago, roughly seven and a half months after the hit; Trenton, New Jersey- Emmaline/Jane Doe:
She slowly fluttered her eyes open. Her eyelids felt heavy like lead, as if she hadn’t opened them in weeks. The back of her head pounded, the pain radiating forward with such force she felt like she might vomit. She clutched at her abdomen in an effort to quell the feeling only to wince in pain. Confusion at where she was and why she was in so much pain flooded her mind.
Her eyes finally opened, staying open. She scanned her surroundings. The room was stark white, the lights too bright, the room filled with sounds of beeping machines. Her gaze finally landed on a stout woman in dark blue scrubs, dark hair pulled back. The woman was facing away from her, jotting down something. She opened her mouth to speak, only to met with a croak.
The woman turned, a smile on her plump lips. “You’re awake. Do you know where you are?” She questioned in a soothing voice.
She shook her head, instantly regretting the action as a stabbing pain shot through the base of her skull forward causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. She cleared her throat. “No.” She spoke, voice hoarse from disuse. What the hell is going on? Where the hell am I?
“That’s okay. You were in an accident, do you remember anything about it or from before?”
She went to shake her head again, but the pounding ache was back in full force. “No. Everything’s just blank.” She replied.
“It’s okay, that’s to be expected after a head trauma like yours.”
“What happened?” She asked.
“They aren’t exactly sure. You had a gunshot to your head—”
“And I survived?” She exclaimed, instantly regretting the loud tone of her voice. What the hell happened?
“You were very lucky.”
“How long have I been out?”
“This time, a few weeks.”
“This time? How long have I been here?”
“You’ve been here at Royal Pines roughly two weeks, before that you were here just under seven months.”
“Wait, I left?” Why would I leave just to come back?
“Mmmhmmm.” The nurse replied checking the different machines. “To have the baby.”
Her hand went to her abdomen. “Baby? Is it?” She asked trying to fight back tears. She had no clue what was going on, but the thought of something happening to her child still brought tears to her eyes.
“The baby is fine, Doctor Casey had petitioned the courts to be granted custody when you hit your halfway mark. Her hope—” the nurse giggled at her own perceived joke, “ her hope was to keep the baby close to you while you recovered. Otherwise, with no known family, she would have been made a ward of the state.”
“So I don’t have anyone looking for me? No husband?” She couldn’t figure out how she could have been in one place so long and yet have no one missing her. There must be someone looking for me, for us.
“When you were first found you didn’t have a ring, yet you had a tan line. Based on the nature of your injury, the police suspected domestic abuse and that you were trying to escape a bad situation. They have checked with known women’s shelters but come up empty.”
“Okay. You said I’ve been awake before. Did—did I ever remember anything?”
“Not yet, but it takes time for the brain to heal honey. We just have to be patient.”
“How—how many other times have I been awake?”
“Two.”
“And you still think I might remember something?”
“It’s possible. The brain is very fragile.”
“Can I see it? Can I see the baby?”
“Doctor Casey is on leave, but I can call her and tell her you’re awake and want to see Hope—”
“Hope. That’s pretty.”
“Mmmmhmmm. Okay I’ll go call Doctor Casey.”
“Call who about what?” She asked, eyes staring forward vacantly.
The nurses face fell as she left the room. Her hand grasped the cross around her neck. Please lord let her remember.
Ten years ago; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania- Bastien/Liza:
Bastien could see things were weighing heavily on Liza since walking away from her father. He knew she wasn’t questioning her decision, that there was no changing her mind. He could see she was secure in her decision to walk away from her father, even if it was eating away at her to do so. He knew there was no getting either of them to change their minds, that much had been made clear at the restaurant. It had been two weeks since she cut her father from her life in favor of him, and he could see it was hurting her more than she was willing to let on.
While Bastien found her strength something he was in awe of, he hated that he was the reason that she cut herself off from her father, the reason behind the hurt and pain she was working so hard to hide. He could feel a burning rage begin to build, he couldn’t get past the lengths her father went to try to control her. There was no other way to put it, the only way he would be happy was if she lived her life the way he wanted her to. The fact that her father would put her in such a position, how he tried to make her feel bad for living her life made his blood begin to boil. Bastien felt the anger slowly building, he needed to contain it before he acted in a way he’d later regret. He could understand why her father wouldn’t want her in the life, but he also knew that he wouldn’t ever try to determine for Olivia who she could and couldn’t see. He learned early on one of the hardest parts of being a parent was knowing when to hold on and when to let go and trust your child can make decisions for themselves, something her father seemed to refuse to do, wanting instead to map out Liza’s life for her.
Bastien wished there was a way to help her hurt less. They hadn’t been together quite a year yet, but he still didn’t want to see her upset in anyway. He knew what turning her back on her father would mean for her. He saw her going crazy trying to find a decent place she could afford. I could ask her… what if she thinks we’re moving too fast? His own insecurities and the fact they had yet to say those three little words holding him back. He wanted to say them, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but he didn’t want to hold her back. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like she had to move in with him because she stood up to her father.
“Why are you staring at a wall?” Olivia questioned pulling him out of his thoughts. “Do I need to be worried? Is it speaking to you?”
“Olivia!” He exclaimed in surprise. “I was just thinking.”
“About a wall?” She asked cocking her head to the side.
Bastien sighed knowing she wouldn’t give up until he explained, her will being one of the things he loved most about his daughter. “About painting a wall.”
“You painting a wall? What, did you choose a different shade of white? Ooh or did you decide on a shade of beige?”
“Actually I was thinking maybe cerulean, or chartreuse.”
Olivia laughed. “What would have mister ‘I don’t like color’ thinking about painting his wall a bright color? You do know those colors are bright, like really bright.” Her emerald eyes sparkled with delight.
She’s obviously getting a kick out of this. “Yes I’m aware how bright they are.” Bastien sighed slumping on the edge of his bed, his head falling into his hands. “It was a horrible idea. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“What gives pops?” Olivia asked, plopping onto the bed next to him, gently jabbing him in the side with her elbow.
“Liza has been looking for a place to move—”
“So you were thinking of painting a wall and asking her to move in here?”
“I was thinking that, yes. She said she wanted a bright home with bright accent walls, but maybe it was a bad idea, it’s not the time. I don’t want to make her feel like she has to—”
“Get up!” Olivia said jumping off the bed pulling him up with her. “We have a wall to paint.”
“Liv, I’m not sure—”
“You love her, just suck it up and paint the damn wall and ask! Besides you know she will say yes cause she loves you too.”
Bastien stood frozen in place, he’d known Olivia nearly all her life and yet it still amazed him how perceptive she could be. Have I been that obvious?
“Come on, the wall isn’t going to paint itself!” Olivia stated pulling him out of the room and his thoughts.
***
Liza was stressed, looking for a place near campus she could afford on her own was proving nearly impossible. Why am I even bothering staying at school? It’s not like it matters anymore. She was still shocked by the man she had seen at dinner, she could hardly recognize him as her own father. It had stung how much he seemed to take joy in the way that he had deceived her. His smug smirk he gave as she realized how much he knew, and that she was backed into a corner had been eerie, like she was staring at some monster from a horror film and not her father. As hard as it had been for her to walk away, she knew it was for the best. If he could be so cold and callous towards his own daughter, then she could handle the pain she felt by walking away. She refused to give him the satisfaction of ever being right, she would prove that she had made the right decision.
So she needed to find a place, if only to prove to herself that she could do something without his help and influence. If only it were that easy. All the places she could afford might actually give her tetanus, and all the nice places were well out of her budget. She felt like she was more likely to drive herself crazy than actually find a decent place that she could afford. It’s hopeless.
Liza needed to get her mind off of the train wreck that had become her life. At least Bas and Liv should help me stop thinking about the mess I’m in for a minute. The corners of her lips turned up into a half smile. It didn’t matter how secure she was in her decision, she would likely always hurt from leaving her family behind. For now she’d take some comfort in the new family she found, even if they weren’t permanent. Doubts clouding her mind making her question if they really were her new family. It’s been nearly a year. I know I haven’t said it but I didn’t want to scare him off and I had Liv to contend with. Dread filled her heart as she started to wonder if maybe her father had been right, maybe it would have been easier if she had left with him. She shook the fears and doubts from her mind. She did wouldn’t let her fears drag her down. She had made her choice and while it wouldn’t be easy she would put her fears aside and make the best out of it.
***
Liza tried to contain her shock as she took in Olivia’s appearance. The teen was usually pulled together, today she had her scarlet tresses pulled back in a messy bun and she had smudges of blue paint on her cheek. “Liv, you have—” She states gesturing to the paint smeared cheek.
Olivia wiped at her cheek, completely missing the paint smudge. “Oh don’t worry about that, come here you have to see this.” She said pulling Liza behind her.
“I thought we were going to watch a movie.” Liza replied as she was dragged through the home.
Olivia waved her off, ignoring her protests. They stopped in front of Bastien’s room, Liza looked at her utterly confused. “Go in, I’m going to go get cleaned up. Don’t forget I know my way around a blade if you break his heart.”
Liza walked in unsure of what to expect after Olivia’s warning. Her eyes went wide when she saw the freshly painted cerulean wall. Tears sprung to her eyes as she remembered her own words. “I always wanted a bright home, with big windows that let in lots of light and splashes of bright colors on the walls.” “Don’t look at me like that, not all the walls, that would be too much but accent walls in at least some of the rooms, cerulean, or chartreuse, maybe a deep rich purple.” Her heart pounded in her chest. He couldn’t possibly mean…
“I know it may seem fast, but I want you to move in with me, with us.”
Liza stood mouth agape, stunned, staring at the man she loved enough to throw away her only remaining family. He held her heart, but it felt forced, like he was trying to do it because he felt it was his fault. It had been her choice to lie to her father, her choice to finally stand up to him, she didn’t want Bastien to feel obligated to her because of her own rash decisions. “Bas, I’ll figure something out—”
“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile actually.” Bastien replied. “I probably should have said it sooner, but I love you Poppy, obviously I wouldn’t paint my wall a color that bright for just anyone. Just think about it as an option.”
Present day; Trenton, New Jersey:
“What was I thinking? I just delivered them to him!” Liam shouted, his hands balled up in fists at his sides as he paced the room.
“Liam, it’s been weeks, if he was going to hurt her, them—don’t you think he already would have?” Raven questioned, completely over his insistence that Bastien was after his mother and Hope.
“He’s obviously trying to lull me into complacency, make me believe he’s innocent. Why else would my father feel the need to keep her hidden all these years if he wasn’t protecting her from Bastien?”
“Liam, there has to be another explanation—”
“No, I know he’s lying, trying to make himself look the victim, I feel it in my gut.”
“Fine.” Raven said, letting out a sigh. There was this nagging in the back of her mind telling her Bastien was innocent, but without any proof she knew Liam was unlikely to be swayed. “Can you at least put your feelings for Bastien aside and give Hope a chance? Please let her in, she’s your sister. You are the only one who can tell her what Emmaline was like as a mom. Don’t you think your mother would want you two to be close?” Raven said, trying to persuade Liam to stop ignoring his sister. She was getting fed up with his constant avoidance of his only sibling.
“Raven, he left them both for dead and she just believes his lies because there is no one to tell her the truth of what he did. Who knows what other lies he’s filled her head with, how am I supposed to bond with her knowing she believes the monster that took my mother from me?” Liam questioned.
Raven dropped her head into her hands with a sigh, she was beginning to believe that he would never accept any other answer. He was going to continue to alienate his only family because of something that was presumed to have been done by the girls father. She hated how stubborn Liam could be. Would he be this way if Emmaline hadn’t been taken from him all those years ago? Is this all Constantine’s doing or would he always be a stubborn ass? She needed to find some way, any way to prove her suspicions of Bastien’s innocence. Maybe then he’d finally let Hope in.
***
Liam sat by Emmaline’s side, sitting and looking out the window. He had called ahead ensuring Hope wasn’t there, ignoring Raven’s pleas to try to connect and let the younger girl in. He needed to find out what happened, maybe then Hope would see the truth and understand why Bastien couldn’t be trusted. He just needed to find a way to get through to his mother, make her remember something, anything. “Mom, why did Bastien do this to you? Why did he take you from me?” Liam questioned.
Emmaline turned staring past Liam, almost like she was seeing straight through him. Her eyes were blank and vacant without a hint of recognition.
Liam’s heart ached, he had spent weeks, months praying to have his mother back and now that he had her she didn’t even know who he was. “Mom, please why did he shoot you!” He implored.
Emmaline recoiled slightly at Liam’s raised voice. Fear flashed across her eyes momentarily before fading back to the vacant stare she had before.
“Liam!” Hope shouted, her hands on her hips. “She doesn’t remember anything, so stop it! You’re just making it worse and scaring her.”
Emmaline turned to Hope smiling. “Hope dear, is this your boyfriend?” She asked, a spark of recognition in her eyes.
“No, this is Liam, he knew you before you got hurt.” Hope answered, her voice calming and gentle. She rested a soothing hand on her mother’s shoulder. When she came in she was shocked to see Liam, knowing he had been avoiding her. She was angered that he would stress her mother out searching for answers where there were none.
“Oh that’s nice dear.” Emmaline replied. She blinked, her smile spreading wide. “Hope, stop being rude and introduce me to your cute boyfriend!”
Hope sighed, pulling Liam aside. “Sometimes she can’t even retain new information, you have to be patient. Pushing her just makes it harder for her to remember anything. I know you want her to remember you, but Liam she might never remember anything. It took her so long to even remember she had me, I know this must hurt you, I hate she can’t remember things from one day to the next half the time, but we can’t change anything. If you want to know what happened between Bastien and our mom, you need to talk to him.” She whispered to not upset Emmaline.
Liam clenched his jaw, his hands balling into fists at his side. He knew that Bastien had swayed her to believe him, he just hoped Raven was right and she might be open to the truth. How can she just blindly believe the man after just meeting him? The last person he wanted to speak with was the person who took his mother away from him.
Present day; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:
Bastien picked up the the picture he kept on his desk, his eyes glued on the happy couple in the frame. How the hell did we go from there to here? The second the words had come out of his mouth he knew they came out completely wrong, and now they might have cost him the only woman who held his heart for the last ten years. Fuck! He studied the picture, ingraining it to his memory. If all he’d have left were memories, he wanted the happiest to be front and center.
His fingers ghosted over the photograph, they were so happy and free and now the last he saw her she was a broken shell of her former self. He couldn’t help but feel like it was all his fault. How did he allow this beautiful vibrant woman become so broken that she could barely hold on. He’d do anything to get back the woman in the photograph.
Her long, multihued, raven locks danced in the wind, her hazel eyes squeezed shut from the laughter falling from her lips. Her laugh always was the sweetest melody to his ears, and now he’d never hear it again. He’d never again get to hold her from behind, his strong arms holding her close to his chest.
What was I thinking taking her with me? I knew it would upset her! In his effort to keep her close he’d made a mistake that sent her running into the arms of another man. Can I blame her? The way the words came out, I’d think the worst too. But he would have stayed, let her explain. It’s my fault she was as broken as she was to begin with. He couldn’t believe how badly he failed her. It seemed to be a pattern for him, making a mistake that cost him the woman who claimed his heart.
A single word, said in the wrong tense would be their undoing. All he ever wanted was her, to give her the world. Now, this life he chose years ago had cost her her happiness, her child, had taken her from him. Why him though?
Bastien had no one but himself to blame for the demise of their relationship. I should have calmed down, thought before I spoke. He felt like his entire world was crashing down all around him. Everything changed that day, he gained a daughter he never knew and lost the only woman he had ever truly had wanted a life with. He knew he would never move on, there wasn’t another woman for him, she was it, the only person he could see growing old with and he’d blown it.
Bastien needed to make things right, a chance to fix things, get back to who they were. He knew he lost that chance the second he saw her cab pulling away from the curb. Of course she fled! Why would she want to stay after you confessed your love for another woman? Fuck! He hung his head, roughly running his hands through his onyx locks. I hadn’t even thought of her in years, all I care about is gone.
Bastien bit down on the inside of his cheek, trying to force back the tears stinging his steel grey eyes. He ran scared before without protecting the woman he cared about in the past and now his anger might have cost him the woman he loved now. He slammed his fist on the oak desk, he would not allow fear and anger to take more from him. He’d do better this time, he’d do absolutely anything to fix things with her. He’d always do absolutely anything for her. He just needed to show her, prove to Liza that she was the only woman that owned his heart. He only hoped it wasn’t too late.
