Cheers Darlin’

“Cheers Darlin’” by Damien Rice

The noise of the party inside was muffled from the curb out front where Damien Nazario sat alone, puffing on a cigarette. He was starting to regret coming tonight and needed some air. How did you think this was going to go? He asked himself. This was the rehearsal dinner of Hayden Young and Aurora Park; it was always going to go poorly for him.

Damien had learned of their engagement from Nadia and hadn’t seen Aurora since hearing the news. As the months passed, he told himself that it was scheduling issues—that she had been busy planning the wedding and he was busy with his career—but truthfully he had been avoiding her, dodging her calls and ignoring her texts. It just hurt too much. He thought he had made his peace with it after receiving the wedding invitation and decided to come to the rehearsal dinner as well, a decision he was quickly coming to regret.

His eyes found her the moment he walked into the party, laughing radiantly in a lacy white dress with her wavy lilac hair pinned up. Of course she would wear white tonight, her enthusiasm for the wedding bubbling over to the night before. It was so perfectly Rory. Her eyes drifted over to his, smile still bright on her face. One look was all it took for his heart to break all over again. He shifted his gaze to the ground and melted into the crowd of people, not ready to face talking with her quite yet. Still, he his PI skills made themselves evident as he subconsciously kept track of her movements throughout the night. He watched her, heart in his throat as she squeezed Hayden’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder. What he wouldn’t give to one the one she thoughtlessly nuzzled up to, the one she was with in front of all these people. A sharp need for air overcame him and he rushed outside which is where he found himself now, a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

A voice broke his quiet contemplation.

“Since when do you smoke?”

She sat down next to him on the curb, apparently unfazed about getting her white dress dirty.

“Since I saw just one thing too many.” He answered cryptically, taking a final puff of his cigarette and stubbing it out on the asphalt, “Tired of your own party already, Rory?”

“Eh, just needed a break.” She shot him a playful smile, “Plus I happened to notice the guest I was most excited to see slip out the door.”

“Most excited to see, huh?”

“Yup! Though it turns out my Aunt María just stepped out to take a phone call but luckily you were out here too.” She gave him a nudge with her elbow and in spite of everything Damien found himself laughing. He nudged her back, feeling like old times. It wasn’t, though. He needed to remind himself of that.

“So,” He cleared his throat, “Tomorrow’s the big day.”

She nodded, “The biggest, or so they tell me.”

“I’m, uh, I’m happy for you. You and Hayden. He seems like a decent guy who’ll be good to you. You’ll be happy together.”

“Thank you, D. I know that couldn’t be easy for a romantic cynic like you to say.” She let out a small breathy laugh before pausing, biting her lip, and blurting out, “I’m sorry. For not telling you about the engagement, I mean. I wanted to tell you in person, but…” The distance between them remained unspoken.

“Don’t be,” He said quickly, “Besides, Nadia told me.”

“I figured she might.” Aurora smiled warmly. After a moment of not-quite-comfortable silence, she spoke again.

“I’m really glad you came tonight. I know we haven’t seen as much of each other the past few years but,” She reached for his hand the way she had countless times before, “You are so important to me, Damien. It really means a lot to me that you‘re here.”

Damien stared at the small hand in his, her pale pink nail polish already beginning to chip. He reluctantly turned his gaze up to her face; she was more lovely than ever and the desire to kiss her full, upturned lips burned through him, but he wouldn’t do it. He wanted his first kiss with Aurora to be something she wanted, something she initiated. Instead, he pulled her into a tight hug, her own arms quick to meet his embrace.

Before he realized what he was doing, he lifted his lips to her ear and whispered “I love you, Aurora.”

“Damien!” She pulled back with a gasp. They had said those three words to each other before, but always in a friendly manner. Whether it was the closeness of the embrace, the intensity in his voice, or the rare use of her full name, Aurora had seen straight through to the truth of the matter. He took a deep breath and fully took the plunge.

“I mean it. I’m in love with you, Aurora Park.”

“Why are you doing this?” She asked, eyes wide and her voice barely a whisper.

“Aren’t you always the one telling me that I need to open up more?”

“Why now?” She ignored his deflection, her voice growing stronger, “Why tonight?”

“Cause I thought jumping up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part would be too cliche.” He gave her a weak smile that was not returned. She just stared at him, her usually gleaming eyes gravely serious. He let out a sigh, “I’m not asking for anything, I just needed you to know before it was too late.”

“Too late?” A hysterical sounding laugh bubbled out as she got to her feet, “Damien! It’s already too late! Oh my god!” Her laughs turned into gasping breaths as tears filled her eyes. Damien stood and made to embrace her but she stepped back.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” She demanded.

“I thought you knew how I felt.” He answered quietly. Aurora barked out a humorless laugh.

“No, Damien! I didn’t!”

“Oh.” was all he could say in response. He thought his feelings for Aurora were obvious, embarrassingly so.

“You could have told me before. You should have told me before.”

“Would it have made a difference if I had?” He asked exasperatedly, the tone of his voice starting to match hers.

“How can you even ask that? Of course it would have made a difference.” She shook her head, staring at him with an incredulous look on her face, “Damien, I’m in love with you. I always have been.” He felt as if all the air had left the world. He had imagined her saying those words time and time again, but never thought it would actually happen.

She buried her head in her hands and was quiet for a long time. When she finally lifted her head and spoke, her voice had regained it’s usual steadiness. “I waited you know.”

“What?” He asked, unsure of what she was referring to.

“I waited a week before giving Hayden his answer. And during that week I called you every day, sometimes twice a day.” Damien felt a pit grow in his stomach as he remembered; he was in deep with a case and mentally swore he would get back to her when he had a minute, but never got around to it.

“I even went by your office a couple of times but you weren’t around.” Aurora continued, “Hayden is a wonderful man who deserves someone who is going to be all in for him. I thought I owed it to him, to you, to myself to find out if there was anything between you and me before committing to a life with him. When I didn’t hear from you I figured I had my answer, but now…” Her tears were fully flowing now and when Damien reached to hug her, this time she let him. After a moment, she pulled back, his arms still gently clutching hers.

“When I imagined my future, pictured who I want to grow old with, it was you! God, Damien it has always been you! But now it’s too late. You’re just—” Aurora’s words cut off with a strangled noise as she stared wide-eyed behind him. He turned and found himself looking at a devastated Hayden. His gaze shifted from Aurora to Damien and back before walking quickly back towards the restaurant. A spectrum of emotions crossed Aurora’s face as she stared at Damien—anger, pain, longing—before she turned around and gave chase after her fiancé.

“Hayden, wait!”

Damien watched her go, stare fixed on the restaurant door long after she disappeared through it. He took one last sip of his drink, set it down on the curb, and started walking away.