Disclaimer: The following is a prequel to Choices The Freshman and The Sophomore stories. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Jo, Kyle or Nicole. All of the characters, story line and events were originally developed by me, some areas in part with @maxattack-powell, in conjuction to her adaptation of The Freshman.
Chapter 11: Bad Blood
Ryan’s fist pounds against the front door and he waits, hands on his hips. The hood on his hoodie is flipped up over his head, blocking part of his face from the freezing air outside, and he shoves his hands into pockets.
When Chris opens the front door and looks at him, the expression on his best friends’s face reads like the Merriam-Webster definition of fury. The scar in his eyebrow and the hoodie fitting ominously around his face only add to the intensity of his glare.
“Where the fuck were you last night?” Ryan says. He doesn’t wait for an invite; he’s cold and pissed off and steps right inside the Powell home.
It’s just after 10 a.m. on Sunday morning and Chris is still in his flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt. His hair is all over his head and the stubble that was already on his face has grown out more in the night.
Ryan glances around the house, suddenly realizing his entry may have called for a little more subtlety. “Your mom here?” he questions.
Chris shakes his head no. “Mom had something at the church she was helping with, and Jo and Kyle spent the night at friends’ houses last night.”
“Yeah, I knew Kyle and Jo were gone,” Ryan says and reaches up, pulling the hoodie off his head. He doesn’t bother to fix his hair. He shoves his hands back into his pockets and cocks his head as he continues. “Ask me how I know, Chris.”
Chris frowns and takes a seat on the sofa, looking up at him. ”How?”
“Because we came by here last night,” Ryan says. “Me, Ethan and Alex got in the car and drove our merry asses over here looking for you. When you didn’t show up at my house, when you wouldn’t answer your texts or your calls, we got worried. That’s how I know Chris,” Ryan nods. His buddy looks up at him and sighs, running a hand over his head. He leans back against the sofa and rubs his eyes.
“Man, I’m sorry….”
“Don’t do that shit again!” Ryan snaps. “We thought…we thought after what happened with Nicole Friday night you had gone off the deep end or something. So we came over to see if you were here and your mom said you hadn’t gotten home from work yet. We told her it was just a mix up, to keep her from getting worried and that we were supposed to meet you at the Lobster Shack but forgot. So we get back in the car and drove our happy asses to the restaurant. But when we got there, you weren’t there either!” Ryan begins to pace, reliving the anxious hell of the previous night.
Chris leans forward, head in his hands as he rests his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry. I text when I got home, but it was pretty late.”
“Yeah like three hours late,” Ryan retorts. “And then magically my phone chimes and all I get is ‘I’m good, not going to make it,’” Ryan quotes. He throws his hands up outraged again. “What the hell was that? Like, all chill about everything like you didn’t blow us off and just all of a sudden disappear for a while and that’s supposed to be cool with us!”
Chris had not returned home immediately after dropping Morgan off at home. He drove back through town and pulled into the school’s parking lot. He sat there for a long time, listening to the radio, trying to think of something other than how much he hated himself right then. He tried to think of something other than the look of hurt and disgust on Morgan’s face as she peered up, her body underneath his. He remembered the shimmer of tears in her eyes, and that, haunted him the most.
When he got home, he said a quick goodnight to his mother and then showered. The taste of Morgan lingered on his lips it seemed for hours after he had kissed her. Maybe it was just his imagination, but each time he licked his lips, he swore her kiss was still there. The scent of her perfume was in his clothes and on his skin. If he hoped to get any sleep that night, he had to rinse away the reminders of her that were torturing him. It was a futile attempt. He had tossed and turned all night, thinking of that look on her face and how she had left his car.
Before climbing into bed, he retrieved his phone from his jean pocket and looked at it. He had four missed calls, two each from Ryan and Ethan and about 10 text messages from Ryan.
Still good for tonight?
You on your way?
Earth to Chris, come in Chris
U dick, pick up ur phone!
Ok, we r starting to worry about u. U ok?
Heading to ur place now
Ur mom said you were at work, on our way to the LS
Chris! Seriously worried right now, where r u?
If u need to talk, we got u
Chris had typed his brief, vague response and put his phone down on the night stand before turning out the lights and pulling the covers up over his head.
Now, hearing Ryan recount the concern and worry they felt when he didn’t respond, he only feels worse.
“I’m really sorry Ryan,” he says and rubs his temples. “I wasn’t trying to be a jerk, I just…I had some stuff I was dealing with last night.”
“Like what?” Ryan frowns and takes a seat in the recliner across from Chris. He leans back, his anger somewhat subsiding after his friend’s apology. He can see that something is eating away at him.
“Where’s Ethan?” Chris asks suddenly. Ryan frowns.
“Church with his family. Why?”
Chris shrugs. “Just wondering. Was he pretty upset too?” He peers up at Ryan.
“Yeah, he was worried. Bad weather, we didn’t know if you had a wreck or something. Then, like I said, we didn’t know…after everything…if you…were somewhere and had like…” Ryan exhales. “We didn’t know what you were doing or if you had like,” Ryan licks his lips and rubs his palms on his knees blowing out a breath, “like hurt yourself or something. You’ve been pretty down at times Chris and…it scared us man.”
Chris looks up at him about to object and say things weren’t that bad and he would never even consider such a thing, but given his rollercoaster of moods in the last month, it was not an unreasonable thought.
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.
“So…what happened to you last night? Where were you?” Ryan asks again. He reaches out onto the coffee table and grabs a stress balls. Chris uses them to work the muscles in his throwing arm and hand and it’s not unusual for him to grip one when he’s just hanging out and watching television. Ryan squeezes it as he watches and waits for him to explain himself.
“When I was at work, things got kinda weird talking to Javy and Brody, you know how they are,” Chris says.
“Weird like how?” Ryan questions and squeezes the ball in his palm.
“Just them talking shit about stuff…Nicole…all of that…and….Morgan and her family came into the restaurant….” Chris’s eyes flutter as he thinks back on the circumstances leading to his indiscretion with her later that night. At this Ryan pauses and stares intently at his friend.
“I uh….” Chris bites his lip. “Morgan…” he breathes out, not looking at Ryan.
The silence in the room is deafening. Chris resumes speaking just to fill the awkward void. “Morgan and I were just kind of…hanging out…and,” he huffs, “some things…ya know happened,” Chris bites into his lip.
Ryan drops the ball onto the floor and leans forward, tilting his head. Chris avoids eye contact. “Things happened?”
“Things got kind of hot and heavy with her…like stuff happened,” Chris explains. Ryan chews at the inside of his cheek, blinking slowly. “I um…I said something and then…” Chris sighs as he struggles to find the words. “I hurt her….” He closes his eyes and presses his fingertips to his eyelids.
It is quiet for a minute longer before Ryan’s voice yanks him from his regretful thoughts.
“What do you mean you hurt her?” Ryan asks. The words leave his mouth slowly and Chris can hear the restraint he is using.
Chris gulps, tucking his lips and stares at the floor. Suddenly he feels like he wants to vomit. He swallows the sensation down.
Ryan, irritated this time, repeats the question. “ Chris.” He sits up. “What the hell do you mean, you hurt Morgan? What did you do?”
Chris closes his eyes before looking over at Ryan. “We were kissing…and…touching or whatever,” Chris looks down. The muscle in Ryan’s jaw clenches. Without realizing, so do his hands.
“I kind of blurted out something and…it hurt her. But Ryan, man, I swear I wasn’t thinking straight! Like I just wasn’t! You know, you know I wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt her!” Chris says in a sudden rush.
Ryan scratches his head and licks at his teeth. Chris can hear the breath he blows through his nostrils from his spot on the sofa.
“Did you make her cry?” Ryan asks with staccato timing.
There is a long hesitation but Chris almost discernibly nods his head. He rubs his eyes again.
“I feel terrible…about all of it,” Chris shakes his head before leaning back on the sofa and looking up at the ceiling.
There is another long few moments of silence.
“I’ll be back,” Ryan suddenly announces and stands up. He pulls his keys from his pocket and they jingle in his hand. Chris lifts his head in surprise and watches him.
“Okay. Uh, everything cool?” Chris asks, this time the one concerned.
Ryan pauses, putting his hand on the door knob. “I’ll be back,” he repeats and goes out the door.
***
Ryan pulls up at the edge of the subdivision, braking at the four-way stop. He looks to his left and a BMW is waiting as well. He recognizes the car instantly. There aren’t very many BMW’s in Cherryfield. As the car pulls forward, he inspects the occupants. He can see Dr. Price driving and Mrs. Price sitting in the passenger seat. Micah appears to be alone in the back. Dr. Price lifts a hand to wave at him and Ryan returns it as he watches them pass. No sign of Morgan inside.
He waits for their car to move far down the road and then turns left and drives into the subdivision, pulling into the driveway of the large two story home near the end of the street.
He calls first. It rings twice and goes to voicemail and he knows she declined the call. He taps a few buttons sending her a text. Out front, seeing if u r ok? He waits a minute and watches the house from inside his Bronco. He looks up and notices a slight movement in a window on the second floor, barely noticeable if he had not already been searching for some sign of occupancy.
He knows she’s not voluntarily going to open the door and he had not expected her to. He opens the door to his Bronco and steps out. He coughs a bit in the cold before standing next to the vehicle, door opened wide, and reaches in. He hits the horn in rapid succession then one long blow sounds. “Morgan!” he shouts.
He waits and looks towards the window but sees no movement. He repeats the process, hitting the horn a few more times and shouting, “Morgan!”
At this, the curtains are thrown a part. He can’t see her face but he sees her standing in the window for just a moment before she rushes away. He reaches in and pulls the keys from the ignition, closing the car door and heads towards the porch, walking through the snow. As he reaches the bottom step, the front door is thrown open and Morgan, wide-eyed and frantic looks out at him.
“What are you doing? Are you insane?” She shouts, throwing her head from side to side to see if any of the neighbors might be out and searching for the source of this disturbance.
“I didn’t figure you would open the door any other way,” Ryan says. He stands in front of her and she continues to scan the neighborhood.
“I just hope my dad doesn’t hear about this from our nosey neighbor,” she huffs exasperatedly.
Ryan looks at her. Her normally straight locks are wavy and frayed around her head. The rims of her eyelids are red as well as her nose. The rest of her face is pale. She is wearing the same clothes she wore to bed the night before.
“I’m sorry,” he says calmly. “I just needed to see if you were okay. I…talked to Chris,” Ryan says and frowns. Morgan’s mouth falls open and she blinks a few times. A frown comes to her face and she looks down.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
She runs a hand through her hair and then lifts her shirt sleeve to her face. Ryan can tell she wipes at her eyes quickly trying to hide the movement from him. She nods and steps out of the way.
Ryan steps inside. He looks around the Price home as Morgan closes the door and locks it behind him. He glances down at his snow covered shoes and steps onto the heel of each to take them off, leaving them by the door. He has been to the Price home before with his mom, a nurse for Dr. Price, but he doesn’t remember ever visiting by himself or being there alone with Morgan.
“I saw your folks and Micah up the road,” he says to her.
“Yeah, my dad’s friend from college is in town visiting family in Harrington. They are going to spend the day there,” she says distantly.
“You didn’t want to go?”
Morgan lifts her eyes from the floor to look at him, reaching behind herself scratching at her shoulder blade. “No. I really didn’t want to be around anyone today,” she says putting her hands on her hips and giving him a pointed look. He lifts his eyebrows letting her know he isn’t going anywhere any time soon.
She sighs and her arms drop at her sides. “I told them I didn’t feel good. I had to tell my mom I was having girl problems though or otherwise my dad would have ran every test known to man on me.”
Ryan lets out a small laugh. “I guess that’s a hazard when your Pops is a doctor.”
“Yeah,” she clears her throat. “So, you um…” she begins hesitantly. “You, said you talked to…Chris?” Her frown deepens. “Did he….” And suddenly fear writes itself over her countenance. “Did he tell you what-“ she stammers.
“Morgan…no,” Ryan calmly put his hands up, shaking his head. “He just told me something happened and that he hurt you. I don’t know details,” Ryan says searching her eyes. “I came right over to check on you.”
She briefly glances up towards his face and then washed in shame, looks down. She gives a tiny nod and sniffles back the tears on the verge of spilling out again.
“We can talk about it,” Ryan says gently.
Morgan lifts her eyes back to him and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “But, Chris…. He’s your boy. What do you care?”
Ryan stares at her. “I care,” he says. He utters the words in the same manner she said to him just a few weeks ago. He sees her blink several times. “I’m not worried about Chris right now,” Ryan says. “I’m worried about you.”
She studies him cautiously and then turns on her heels and heads up the stairs towards her room, looking back at him. He takes in her meaning and follows her up.
Morgan walks into her room and Ryan shuffles over the carpeted floor behind her. He takes in his surroundings as she climbs onto her bed, sitting cross-legged in the center of it. Her room is decorated in a mix of dark purples and lavender, and a large canopy bed is covered in plush pillows and blankets. There are two windows, one overlooking the front yard of the home. On top of a dresser sits a small television. There is a desk with a vintage wrought iron chair, covered in purple velvet. There are paintings and black and white photos of dancers and ballerinas on her wall.
She grabs a pillow and hugs it to her chest as she toys with some of the fringe around the corners. Ryan isn’t sure exactly what to do or where to sit. He’s never been shy to be in a girl’s room before, but this is Morgan. He is almost certain no other guy from Cherryfield High School has been in her personal space before. He glances around and chews his lip but then carefully eases onto the very corner of her bed, bracing himself should she yell at him to get off of it. As he settles onto the mattress, he realizes she has yet to speak up and is not even looking at him.
He looks around the room silently. A cork board near her closet has a few pictures on it, but there are some vacant spots in the middle. Ryan stands and walks over to it and looks at the photos pinned against it. He can’t help but wonder if the pictures that were once there were of Morgan and Nicole. As he scans the ones that remain, he pauses and studies one in particular. It is a shot from a pep rally last season when a few of the football players performed a skit with some of the cheerleaders and dance team members. In the photo, Ryan is dressed up as a Harrington Heron, in a goofy bird costume. Chris is dressed like the Clippers mascot, a colonial navy admiral, brandishing a sword and pretending to stab the Heron. Morgan is dressed as a referee, a whistle between her lips. Ryan is splayed across the gymnasium floor in the picture, bird wings spread out, and tongue hanging from the side of his mouth as Chris points the sword down at his chest. Morgan pretends to hold him back.
Morgan watches as Ryan inspects the photo and suddenly she scrambles off her bed. She rushes to stand beside him and when she realizes who exactly is in the photo, she reaches up, yanking it off the tac, ripping the top of the photo as she pulls it away. Looking Ryan directly in the eyes, she lowers the photo into the trash bin next to her desk. She releases it and it floats down to the bottom.
“I would ask if you are okay but I already know the answer to that is no,” Ryan says. He looks down at the photo lying by itself in the bottom of the trash. He looks back up at her, her face fixed in an angry glare.
“What is it you want Ryan?” She spits at him bitterly. One person in particular in the photo has set her on edge again.
“Whoa,” he says putting his hands up defensively. “Morgan, I told you, I wanted to check on you. Look, I know you are upset, and you have every fucking right to be. I’m not Chris though.”
“You two are just alike,” she shakes her head. “What is it you really want? Or do you even know?”
He frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You guys, I swear, all you want is a girl down for a good time. Someone like Nicole who isn’t happy unless someone’s tongue is down her throat and someone like…oh yeah, Maya,” she steps closer to him, her face nearing his as she angrily speaks through clinched teeth.
Ryan takes a step back and a deep breath. “Morgan-“
“That’s not true? That’s not what you want? That’s not what Chris is looking for? A replacement bed buddy? I’m so fucking tired of all of you and your bullshit!” She begins to shout. She is still just a step away from Ryan again. He looks into her eyes, taking the tongue lashing she is about to unleash. Every ounce of pain, disappointment and heartache that Morgan has endured and held inside is bubbling to the surface. She has had no friend to lean on to share these emotions with. “I’m sick of the drama with Nikki and Chris and you and Maya! I’m tired of being the sweet one! Good girl Morgan-”
“Morgan-“ Ryan interrupts trying to calm her.
“Oh my god, shutup!” she screeches at him. “You have no idea what it feels like! All of you do shit to knock me down and I just take it and take it and I’m not taking it anymore Ryan!” The loudness of her voice begins to echo through the rest of the house. He looks into her eyes, her face twisted with rage, but he can see tears brimming in her eyes.
“What did he say to you?” he asks slowly.
“What?” Her face contorts into a deep frown again.
“He said that he said something…to you…to hurt you….What did he say?” Ryan asks, brow furrowed with concern.
“Does it matter?” she huffs.
“Yes! Apparently it does! What did he say Morgan? What happened?” Ryan’s voice rises.
She gives a sarcastic laugh and shakes her head. “He told me he didn’t want to think or feel, he just needed to get off!” She shouts suddenly.
Ryan stares back at Morgan stunned. In his gut, he feels something. Something he has never felt before. He is here for Morgan, but he had no idea what to expect when he arrived. All he knew was he had to be there for her. Now, there is something twisting and knotting inside him. It takes him a moment to register what it is: Anger. Anger towards Chris, towards the best friend he calls a brother. Sure they have had their petty spats here and there as boys and teammates do, but they had always moved past it quickly. It had never festered into anything deeper. Not until now.
“I’m sorry,” he says to her in a low voice. His hands clench into fist and he feels the white knuckled grip he has on his own fingers. He flexes them and lets go. “That’s a shitty thing to say to a girl like you.”
“A girl like me?” She scoffs.
“Morgan you are good and you are sweet-“ He begins and she throws her hands up with a huff and paces to the other side of the room. He follows her, not relenting. “That’s who you are. You are a good person and there is no shame in that.”
“I’m tired of being good!” she yells back at him.
He shakes his head. “You are a better person than any one of us and I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. I’m sorry you lost a friend and I’m sorry I fucked up the chance I had with you. But most of all, I’m sorry for what Chris did. He should have known better with you. I’m not going to stand here and make excuses for him. There is no excuse,” his fists clench again and his jaw tightens but he takes another deep breath and his hands release. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I’m sorry….”
Her back is to him and he reaches out and touches her arms. She whirls around and throws his hands off of her, shaking her head no.
“Don’t touch me,” she says in restraint. “I don’t want to be touched.”
Ryan looks at her and slowly lifts his hands again, putting them on her elbows. She attempts to throw his hands off of her again, but as she does, the tears that had filled her eyes begin to roll down over her cheeks. He grips her elbows and she struggles slightly in is strong grip but it’s a half-hearted attempt.
“Quit,” she says, her lip trembling.
His hands tighten on her arms as he takes a step towards her, closing the gap between their bodies. He pulls Morgan’s arms towards him, trying to get them to embrace him but she reaches up and pushes hard at his chest. “Ryan, don’t,” her voice thin as it cracks. She presses her lips together and he sees the last of her composure breakdown. A sob escapes her mouth and she lowers her head. He pulls her against him, wrapping his muscular arms around her. She buries her face in the crook of his neck. He feels her body shake almost violently as the grief that has wracked her body for weeks escapes in sobs.
Ryan rubs her back in circles, he lays his cheek against the top of her head, holding her tightly against him. “You know you didn’t do anything wrong, right?”
She lets out a pained gasp in between sobs. “I feel like I did.”
“You didn’t,” he comforts. “Don’t put that on yourself.”
“It’s not just that Ryan….Chris waited for me to tell him it was okay and I did,” her voice cracks. “I did and…I…” her lips trembles and she squeezes her eyelids shut. He feels the warm wetness of her tears seeping into the fabric of his hoodie. “What happened with Chris…what we did Ryan, I’ve never…done any of those things before.”
Ryan closes his eyes slowly. If this was any other guy, he would be half way up the highway right now to punch his face in. But this was Chris. Chris, he reminds himself.
“I know Morgan. It’s alright.”
She slowly lifts her tear stained face to look at him. Her cheeks are wet, her lashes stick together in clumps and a stream of salty water flows form her nose. “You know?”
“Because you’re a good girl,” he says to her, running his thumb along her cheek. It’s instantly wet with her tears. She groans and sniffles and looks down, beginning to cry again. “I don’t mean that as a negative. I mean that because anyone with half a brain should have known that…you aren’t that way….” Ryan is aware that in all the time he has known Morgan Price, she has never had a boyfriend and only sporadically had a date for a few dances here and there. She didn’t exactly scream “experience” when you talk to her either.
“I thought because it was Chris it was all okay, but it didn’t mean anything to him. He was just using me. I could have been anybody last night and he wouldn’t have cared.” She covers her face trying to hide from him. She doesn’t want him to see her breakdown again and she’s ashamed of every detail she just shared with him; not that she said them, but that they happened. “I didn’t think Chris could be that way,” she says in broken words.
“That makes two of us,” Ryan says. She cannot see the look on his face as his eyes narrow. He squeezes her tighter. “I’m sorry he hurt you.”
Ryan smooths her hair. “Morgan, you know just because…some things happened…like got physical…that doesn’t make you bad.”
“I just feel really used right now,” she whispers. Ryan sighs. He wants to defend Chris, to believe that was not his intention. Truthfully, he doesn’t know if she is right or wrong.
Her sobbing begins to subside and she reaches up, pulling back from him slightly and wiping at her face with her sleeve. Ryan smooths her hair away from her face, cupping it in his hands. She won’t look at him.
He looks around the room for a minute as he thinks, letting her face go. He walks to a door and opens it, peering inside before flipping on the light and walking in. Feeling the exhaustion that sets in after a hard cry, Morgan climbs onto her bed, her eye lids heavy. She can hear water running for just a minute. When he comes back, Ryan has a washcloth and holds it out to her. She takes it silently and begins to wipe at her face. When she’s done, she places the cloth on her nightstand.
Ryan looks at her on the bed, and without a word eases onto the opposite side. Morgan eyes him and though she would like to protest, she is grateful for his presence. He lies back on the pillows and holds an arm out. She lays her head against his chest, snuggling her cheek against the warm softness of his clothing and strength of his muscles underneath. He wraps one arm around her, then the second.
The exhaustion is debilitating. Morgan is both physically and emotionally worn out. Her mind raced all night and she barely slept after getting home. When she was awake, she was crying. She loves Chris Powell, even though right now she believes she could hate him. She had confessed how she felt to him finally after all these years. She was certain he had taken advantage of those feelings and that part hurt the most. She thought after they kissed a few weeks ago and he blew-up at her, she could not possibly feel any worse. It turned out that pain was just one blade of grass in a field compared to what she felt now.
She closes her eyes. Wrapped in the warmth of Ryan’s arms and feeling the comfort of his embrace, a few minutes pass and she drifts to sleep. Ryan is first aware of it when he feels her body let go against him. All of the tension eases away in one deep breath. He feels her body rise and fall in his arms and soon hears the deepness of her breathing.
Cradling her carefully against him, he makes himself comfortable. Morgan shifts mindlessly against him an arm draped over his stomach.
Ryan strokes her hair as she falls into a deeper sleep, kissing the top of her head before reaching over and turning off the lamp beside the bed.
He does not immediately fall asleep. He lays there, a million different emotions colliding in his heart, stomach and mind. He smells the fresh scent of Morgan’s hair. In all of the times Ryan Hawkins has been with a girl, he has never once been in this situation, of holding a girl close and having no intention of making a move on her. He has never cuddled with someone, never taken in every detail of a girl as he is right now with Morgan lying on his chest. He feels something tugging inside his chest. It’s at odds with the knot of anger in his stomach. It makes him feel uneasy. He listens to her breathing and rubs her arm.
He closes his eyes, falling asleep with her.
***
Almost two hours later, Morgan is the first to stir. Her head hurts from all of the stress. She winces as she opens her eyes and then her body is rigid for a second. She looks up into Ryan’s sleeping face. She realizes she was curled up against him this entire time, her body resting in the crook the arm draped around her, her chest and stomach pressed against his side.
She thinks back to the moments before she fell asleep and takes a deep breath. Ryan was there comforting her. Ryan. Ryan Hawkins she thinks to herself.
She looks at his face. His long thick lashes rest on the tops of his cheek and his lips are slightly parted as he breathes. She looks at the scar in his eyebrow, a trait so very Ryan. She tries to ease away from his body without waking him but the small shift in movement on the bed is enough to make him flinch. He jerks and his eyes fly open. When his face registers with memory as to where he is, he looks over into her grey eyes.
“Hey,” he says in a raspy voice.
“Hi,” she whispers her face just inches from his.
He reaches up and rubs his eyes, letting out a yawn and covering his mouth with the back of his hand.
“What time are your folks getting back? Your dad’s not going to come in here with a shotgun is he?” He asks and it causes Morgan to let out a sincere chuckle. He smiles happy with his accomplishment.
“They won’t be back till tonight,” she says.
“Negative on the shotgun then,” he gives her a playful smirk. They fall quiet again. He reaches up and fiddles with his thick black hair, tugging at part of it as he does.
“Ryan?” She frowns slightly as she looks over into his eyes.
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry,” she says in a hush.
He reaches out and finds her hand against his stomach, putting his on top of hers. He frowns ever so slightly. “For what?”
She sits up and his arm moves off of her. He lies there looking up as she stares down at the blanket on her bed, picking at it with her fingers. “I mean…Chris is your best friend and what happened with him…and then you…and me….” She sighs and runs her hands over her face.
“Don’t worry about that,” he says shaking his head. “Besides, it’s like I said. I screwed up my chance with you long before he did.”
Morgan looks up at him and he raises his eyebrows. She lets out a little laugh and nods, a faint grin stretches across his face.
“You’ve just been…so sweet and,” she looks into his eyes, “Thank you. I’m sorry about earlier that I kind of went off on you. I guess all that stuff was just kind of pent up.”
He shakes his head shushing her with a wave of his hand. “Don’t apologize for that.”
He sits up and brings his feet onto the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. She expects him to announce his departure now that things seem to be better. After all, she’s calmed down, even though she knows the waterworks could start back at any second. Anytime Chris has come to mind, she has had a hard time preventing tears from flowing.
But to her surprise, Ryan looks at her.
“You got Netflix?”
“Uh, yeah?” She responds.
“Sweet. That movie that came out a couple of months ago with Ryan Reynolds, the comedy, it was just released. I’ve been wanting to watch it. You want to check it out?” he asks. “I think some laughs are in order,” he nods.
Morgan looks back at him and shakes her head. She is amazed at Ryan. She realizes there are so many layers to a young man she has misjudged countless times. It’s a shame things are the way they are. “That sounds good.”
***
Ethan pushes the door to the shed open. Chris is inside, sweeping up some dead grass left over from the last cutting he gave the yard before the cold blasts hit Cherryfield.
Ethan had received Ryan’s text after church. It was long but he focused on two parts of it. That Ryan was with Morgan and that Ethan needed to go check on Chris.
He wrote back that he was headed to the Powell’s. When he got there, Mrs. Powell had let him know her son was out back. The shed was their teenage refuge. When the needed privacy, especially from the snooping eyes and ears of Chris’s younger siblings, the shed was their place to talk. There was a space heater and a lantern hooked up inside. Both were on and waiting for Ethan’s arrival.
Chris feels the stream of cold air come in with Ethan as he opens the door, closing it quickly behind him to keep the heat in.
“Sup?” Ethan says. He is wearing a polo and khakis under his wool coat, his hair gelled and slightly spiked, having come straight over after morning service.
“Hey…” Chris says with his back to him. He continues to sweep for a minute, making a small pile with the grass clippings. He exhales loudly and then leans the broom against the wall.
“You talked to Ryan?” Chris asks hesitantly.
“He text,” Ethan says. He grabs one of the Powell’s spring lawn chairs, flips it around and takes a seat, resting his arms on the top of the chair’s back. “Said he’d be over later. He, ugh, said he was at Morgan’s.”
Chris whips around, eyes wild and wide as he looks at Ethan. He opens his mouth and then his eyes close with a heavy sigh. “Shit….” He says and scratches at the back of his head.
“This would be a good time to tell me what the hell is going on because I don’t have a clue,” Ethan says.
Chris walks over to what was once his father’s work bench and takes a seat. He leans back against the table and stares at the floor, avoiding Ethan’s questioning eyes.
“Morgan….” Chris begins.
Ethan leans his head back and groans. “Oh shit, what?”
“She and I hung out last night and…things started happening,” Chris rubs at his neck.
“What things?” Ethan asks, trying to keep his voice calm.
“We kissed…we…touched,” Chris says. “Ethan, I wasn’t thinking straight last night. I mean, Morgan and I talked. We were hanging out…at the time, it seemed right. It got pretty heavy…and I said something about needing to just kind of get there you know, like everything felt good and, I just…needed that release. Like, I really needed it. I said it without thinking. It upset her and…she made me take her home. Didn’t say another word to me.”
Ethan stares at him and shakes his head. “How did you two even, I mean, what were you even doing with her?”
“Her family came into the restaurant. I, sort of asked her to stick around so we could hang….”
“So, you did ask her out then?”
“Yeah but, not like a date. Just to hang!”
“Un hungh….” Ethan says and works his jaw.
“We were talking and she told me she had these feelings for me and it kind of just grew from there. Like, I started thinking maybe Morgan could be someone to spend some time with, get to know better. But then, I started thinking about Nicole and everything got all fucked up in my head and…I wasn’t thinking about it being Morgan, I just…needed someone and she was…there. She’s sweet and she said she cared and…I needed that. I just, shouldn’t have gone there with her,” Chris sighs in regret.
“Chris….” Ethan says, eyes fluttering as the thinks. “Like…I don’t even know what to say right now.”
Chris stares at him. In all of the years they have been friends, Ethan has always had the answer or the solution. Right now, he looks just as confused as Chris.
“Was she upset?”
“Yeah,” Chris nods. “She wouldn’t let me see her face, but she was crying.”
Ethan frowns and licks his lips, trying to think of what to say. He can only shake his head. He looks at Chris. As bad as things had gotten in the wake of the hurricane known as Nicole, he had always felt sympathy for his best friend. Right now, much to Ethan’s surprise, he feels disappointment.
“I’m sure she was, I mean, she’s liked you since kindergarten. I wouldn’t think that something like that would happen and she would just be o-“
“Wait, what?” Chris interrupts. He looks at Ethan bewildered. “What do you mean since kindergarten? You knew Morgan liked me?”
“I thought you said she told you she had feelings for you!” Ethan balks.
“She did, she didn’t give me details! How do you know?”
“She told me Chris,” Ethan says flatly. “Not cause she wanted to but because I could see what was happening. Everything she was doing for you, I could see it. You weren’t paying attention but I was. So a couple of weeks back, I talked to her. She told me then.”
Chris runs his hands through his hair and leans forward, staring at the floor. “Kindergarten?”
“I thought she might have told you,” Ethan says.
“Yeah but she only said for a while, I didn’t realize…kindergarten?” He stands and paces to the other side of the shed baffled. “I mean she….”
Ethan knows what Chris is silently accepting. They do not talk for several minutes.
“Anything else from Ryan?” Chris asks. Ethan pulls his phone out and there is a new message from within the last five minutes.
“He’s on his way,” Ethan says and holds his breath. An uneasiness settles over him.
“He came by earlier we were talking, I told him about the Morgan thing…and he just hopped up and left all of a sudden. He went to see her?”
“Why is that hard to believe?” Ethan asks, tilting his head.
Chris looks at him. “I knew they were friends but, I don’t know, doesn’t seem like Ryan,” he shrugs.
Ethan blinks. “How far up Nicole’s ass did you have your head for the last few years?”
“What?” Chris frowns.
“Chris!” Ethan exclaims. “You seriously don’t know?”
“Know what?” Chris shouts back.
“Ryan likes Morgan! Since sophomore year!”
Chris stares at Ethan. “But….” Chris blinks. “I mean yeah he’s flirted with her, but, he’s like that with every girl!”
Ethan shakes his head again. “It’s different for him with Morgan.”
Chris pauses and thinks, his head whips up as he looks into Ethan’s eyes. “And I….”
The sound of bass can be heard in the distance and quickly gets louder. Chris and Ethan exchange glances and Ethan stands. He opens the door to the shed. Ryan’s Bronco pulls close and the tires come to a quick stop, slipping a bit on the snow before the bass and roar of the engine cutoff. Ethan motions with a hand wave and a head nod and steps back inside. A car door slams and a second later, Ryan appears, stepping inside the door of the shed, closing the door behind him. His hood is flipped up and he shoves his hands inside the front pocket
He says nothing, leaning against a stack of boxes. Ethan returns to his seat. Chris returns to his place on the bench and barely looks up at Ryan.
“Is she okay?” Chris asks.
“No, she isn’t,” Ryan responds sharply.
Chris reaches up and rubs his forehead, he shoulders slumping.
Ryan stares at him not able to understand how he feels both numb and angry at the same time.
He had not wanted to leave Morgan. They sat on her bed, eating salty chips and drinking sodas as they watched the raunchy Ryan Reynolds comedy. It was a temporary break from her thoughts and Morgan appreciated that he had suggested watching the film together.
When the movie was over, they sat in silence. Morgan turned and looked at him. “You going to be okay?” he asked.
She gave a tiny nod. “Yeah…I just need time…”
“Like…how? Time to talk to him or….time away?” he questioned hoping it wasn’t what he somehow knew was coming.
She looked down at her comforter, running her hand back and forth over it before finally speaking. “I think, for all of us…it’s a good idea to just…cool it for a while,” she said.
Ryan took a deep breath but nodded slowly. She needed time to heal and he was not sure what he was feeling. Chris was still his best friend although at the moment he was not eager to pass the title along to him.
“Okay…” he said softly. Morgan looked up at him, her eyes had been vibrant as she watched the movie but they were sullen again.
“I should get going,” he said feeling the pull in his chest again. Every second he lingered in her presence, it only seemed to grow stronger.
He climbed off the bed and she followed behind him back down the stairs. He put his sneakers back on as she watched quietly. He unlocked the door but turned to face her.
“Come here,” he said opening his arms and motioning inward. She took a few steps and sank against his chest. Her thin arms slide around his back as he wrapped her up in his. He rocked her slowly.
“Goodbye,” she said softly in his ear. He pulled back and searched her face, his eyelids dipping as he frowned. She looked into his eyes, unwavering. He nodded slowly again, pulling away and going out the door. He did not look back at her as he climbed into his truck.
He cranked up, typed a quick message to Ethan, then barreled down the road to Chris’s home. He turned up his music to a deafening volume, trying to drown out the “goodbye” that was echoing in his ears. She wanted her distance, from all of them and that made sense. She specifically wanted nothing to do with Chris Powell.
As Ryan looks at him, he can’t help but to think if it weren’t for Chris, Morgan would be around for the rest of the school year.
“She thinks you used her,” Ryan says bluntly. “She’s crying and yelling and tells me what you said to her and that she thinks you used her. All I could do was stand there and listen because, I didn’t know if I could tell her any different.”
“Ryan,” Chris says putting his hands up. “On everything, I swear it, I wasn’t. Is that really what she thinks? She said that? I would never, I swear it on everything!” He begins to panic, feeling nauseous. The thought that anyone would ever think he would use them for his own gain or pleasure is too much for him. Especially since he knows exactly how that feels. It was the same feeling he had when Nicole ended it.
“Then what was it?” Ryan snaps back. He bites into his lip and blows a deep breath out through his nose. He looks away from Chris.
“I just wasn’t thinking,” Chris says.
“It’s Morgan. Morgan!” Ryan shouts suddenly, taking his hands out of his pocket. He takes a step forward and Ethan looks up as he moves towards Chris and his voice grows louder. “She said she hadn’t done even half of what she did with you with anyone before. Did you stop for a second to ever even fucking think about that?”
Chris gulps and blinks, shaking his head no. “I didn’t think…I wasn’t thinking…I didn’t know.”
“How could you not know?” Ryan shouts.
Chris thinks, licking his lips and breathing deeply. His face seems to light up with a moment of clarity.
“I can fix this, I can go talk to her,” he says rising to his feet. “I’ll go talk to her right now and tell her I’m sorry and that I didn’t know and that I wasn’t trying to use her!” he says in a rush. “I just need to talk to her.” He takes quick steps towards the door to the shed but suddenly those steps are blocked. In a moment of sheer reaction, Ryan shoves him back. Chris is used to taking hits and tackles. At 6’3, his solid frame is hard to knock off balance. But the force behind Ryan’s arms, fueled by his anger, knock him back several steps.
“No! She doesn’t want to fucking see you or talk to you! Sit down!” Ryan shouts. His hands drop to his sides and his right hand balls into a fist. He breathes heavily, glaring across the room at Chris who is stunned speechless. Chris’s eyes are wide and he breathes out of his mouth, trying to process what happened. Ethan stands up, putting a hand on Ryan’s chest, guiding him to take a step back. Ethan is in as much disbelief as both Ryan and Chris. The trio stare at each other all feeling the weight of what has happened and the shock as the dust settles.
Ryan shakes his head. “I gotta go,” he says.
“Ryan-“ Ethan begins.
Ryan shakes his head no and turns away from them, walking out of the shed and letting the door slam behind him.
Ethan and Ryan stand in silence. Chris reaches out, placing a hand onto the work table before lowering himself down on the bench. He struggles to speak for a minute before looking up at Ethan whose face is painted with worry.
“I fucked up with him, didn’t I?” Chris asks.
Ethan stares at him for a long time before giving a slow head nod.