Disclaimer: The following is a prequel to Choices The Freshman and The Sophomore stories. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Jo, Kyle or Nicole. All of the characters, story line and events were originally developed by me, some areas in part with @maxattack-powell, in conjuction to her adaptation of The Freshman.
Chapter 17: Take a Bow
Tim Cohen is a little less than 38 hours into his new job and has made his first priority a home visit in Cherryfield, Maine.
Hartfeld University head football coach Terry Massey announced his retirement two weeks ago, deciding to hang it up after another lackluster 4-8 season. At 62, Coach Massey just did not have the fire for coaching he once held as a younger, hotheaded coach. After the Knights failed to reach a bowl game for the third season in a row, the writing was on the wall from the school’s administration and powerful football boosters that a change was needed.
Rather than leave the profession he had dedicated 40 years of his life to in disgrace, Coach Massey decided to hang it up.
Tim Cohen was already a rising superstar in the college football assistant coaching ranks. Having set countless records as a college quarterback and briefly playing in the NFL, he fell into coaching thanks to a friend. His ability to create offensive schemes and perfectly timed trick plays had helped him rise from a quality control assistant to an NCAA Division 1 offensive coordinator by the time he was 27 years old . When Auburn upset Alabama with Cohen calling the plays, his status as a legend was cemented. He was sought after by several different colleges eventually landing at Texas A&M where he had been employed for the last two seasons.
Cohen was not only a rockstar in the coaching world, he had his fair share of female followers as well. His youth, sense of fashion and movie star good looks had garnered just as much attention as his resume. Oakley shades in place and trademark five o’clock shadow, he had even been the subject of a feature on a cable entertainment news network, all for his good looks, charm and swagger. Coeds went crazy for him and women his own age and even older had gone to some extreme lengths to catch his eye.
Hartfeld University came calling.
When Massey announced his retirement, Hartfeld administrators already had their sights on Cohen and moved swiftly. He was young, talented and related well to the players. Having once been a collegiate star himself, having walked in their shoes, he knew the pressures they faced. He was also in many cases just 10 years older than some of his players. The college football world called him the “QB Whisperer.”
His hiring was at breakneck speed and the announcement came even more quickly. Excitement was building for the future of Knights football.
Cohen also knew he had a short window to make sure that players who had committed to play for Massey the next year, did not decommit or jump ship. Number one on his list of incoming freshman players to secure was Chris Powell of Cherryfield, Maine. Cohen had never heard of Cherryfield and though he had been all over the country helping other universities he’d worked for to recruit, he had never once even been to Maine. The night he was hired he had phoned the Powell residence to introduce himself to Chris.
Coach Massey had been kind enough to sit down and discuss the most promising prospects he had recruited with Cohen, and Powell’s name came up first. Cohen sat with Massey not long after the press conference announcing him as the new head coach of the Knights and watched film on the Cherryfield High quarterback from the playoffs and state championship game.
Cohen knew the success of his team would depend on who was at the helm on the field and he was impressed enough with what he saw from Chris that he saw his chance to rebuild, starting with him. It was out of no disrespect to the Knights current quarterback, a junior named Darren Love, but he would be a senior next fall and departing the program soon. Chris’s future was the future for the Knights in Cohen’s eyes.
Cohen’s best friend and newly hired offensive coordinator Eric Reynolds puts the rental car into park as they stop in front of the dimly lit home. A porch light glows and Cohen studies the humble house.
“Like I mentioned on the plane, it’s just the kid’s mom and he’s got a brother and sister,” Coach Barry, the offensive line coach that helped recruit Chris under Coach Massey stresses. “Dad’s not in the picture, Madison gave you some details though I’m sure.”
“Let’s go get our quarterback,” Reynolds says opening the driver’s side door.
He, Coach Cohen and Coach Barry all step out of the vehicle, heading up the sidewalk and walking up the steps of the front porch.
The assistant coaches are both in their red and black Hartfield gear, Reynold’s fresh out of the box of attire he was given. Coach Cohen is in his custom suit. He extends a long finger and presses the door bell, waiting.
“I got it!” they hear a child’s voice from inside.
The door swings open and a young girl in overalls and a comic book t-shirt stands before the three men.
“Hi! You’re here for Chris, right?” Jo greets.
“Yes we are,” Coach Reynolds smiles. “Is Mrs. Powell home?”
“Yes, please come on in,” Mrs. Powell says coming through the living room and taking the door out of Jo’s grasp. “Please, I know it’s so chilly out,” she laughs lightly.
Coach Reynolds and Coach Barry enter, trailed by Coach Cohen.
“Tim Cohen,” he says to Mrs. Powell, his baritone voice has a slight hint of a drawl. “Lovely to meet you Mrs. Powell.”
“Oh, uh, hello,” Mrs. Powell blinks and blushes slightly. She closes the front door and then lets out a small laugh as she looks up at the tall, handsome man. “We uh, Chris and I watched the press conference online the other night. Congratulations. “She nods. She puts a hand to her chest a bit flustered, unable to control her smile.
“Thank you, I appreciate that,” he nods.
“I also think it’s wonderful that you came right here to see Chris,” Mrs. Powell continues to grin, cheeks slightly red. “He was very impressed that you called last night.”
“I think Chris is a very special player and I don’t say this lightly or just as a flattering compliment, he has true talent to not only lead our program to great success but to go to the next level,” Coach Cohen says.
Chris had been sprawled across his bed, trying to read through another act of Antony and Cleopatra when he heard the doorbell ring.
He emerges from the hallway and steps into the living room. His mother had made him put on khakis and a nice sweater for the occasion. He smiles when he sees Coach Barry, the same gentleman that had visited their home with Coach Massey at the start of the high school football season. He gives a polite smile to the other two gentlemen.
“Coach Barry, Coach Cohen, sir,” Chris says standing tall and walking towards him. “Very nice to meet you.” They shake hands and Chris notes that the coach is the same height he is as their eyes meet.
“Chris, glad to meet you as well. Thank you for taking the time to visit with us tonight,” Coach Cohen says.
“Absolutely,” Chris nods. “When Coach Massey announced his retirement, I was a little worried that my offer to Hartfeld would change. I’m just glad you guys still want me there,” Chris smiles brightly.
“You’re the first player we came to see Chris,” Coach Reynolds says shaking his hand as well.
Jo who has been standing by the door walks to the center of the room and glances at all three of the men’s faces.
“So…who’s the head coach?” she frowns.
“I am,” Coach Cohen chuckles some.
“Nu ungh! Coaches are old!” Jo exclaims, her face twisting.
The three coaches laugh. “Not all of us,” Coach Cohen says.
“How old are you?” Jo retorts.
“Jo! Young lady that’s not polite-“ Mrs. Powell intervenes.
Coach Cohen laughs again. “It’s okay Mrs. Powell. I’m 31,” he explains.
“Youngest coach in D-1 football,” Kyle says coming around the corner and walking into the living room. He holds up Chris’s phone, drawing a glare from his older sibling. “I Googled him,” Kyle explains.
“What have I told you about my going into my room and being on my phone Kyle?” Chris shakes his head, snatching it from his hand.
Kyle huffs. “To stay out and not to touch it,” he grumbles.
“Well Coach,” I know you want some time to visit with Chris. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes. Until then, Kyle, Jo, to your rooms,” Mrs. Powell says.
“But I want to stay and-“
“Room! Now!” Mrs. Powell says turning Jo’s shoulders and pushing her gently forward.
Chris shakes his head and puts his phone into his pocket. He and the coaches watch as his pouting siblings make their way into the hall muttering the whole way.
“I’m sorry about them,” Mrs. Powell says. “Please have a seat,” she points to the sofa. Chris waits for them to sit before settling into the recliner. Mrs. Powell sits in a chair across from them.
“Thank you again Mrs. Powell and Chris for having us,” Coach Cohen begins. “Chris, I watched film on you and…you are truly a great quarterback already….there’s room for growth but I see the potential in you.”
“Thank you Coach. Like I said earlier, I’m just excited that Harteld still wants me. I haven’t had offers from any other schools and I felt like this was my one shot,” Chris nods.
“I can’t believe there were no other offers. I see where you can go in your career and I want the opportunity to work with you,” Coach Cohen. “There were a few things though that Coach Massey and Coach Madison mentioned that concerned me and I wanted to talk to you about them.”
“Oh…uh, okay,” Chris nods slowly and gulps. He looks over at his mother. She frowns slightly. He knows what is coming. The Hartfeld coaches had stayed in regular contact with Coach Madison during the season.
“Coach Madison benched you for a game in October…” Coach Cohen says leaning forward, elbows on his knees as he makes eye contact with Chris. His expression isn’t harsh or condescending , but of concern and interest. “Can you tell me what happened with that game?”
“Um, yes sir,” Chris sighs in reluctance. “I was going through a pretty emotional time,” he looks to his mother who gives him an encouraging head nod. “I missed a few days of school and Coach Madison tried to get me back in time to be eligible to play but, I wasn’t in a good place then really, just being honest. So, he benched me to get my attention and to snap me out of it so to speak. I really regret missing that game. I hated not being able to support my team. I just…I realized it too late and I’m very sorry for that. I did all I could to make it up to them every week, all the way to state,” Chris emphasizes.
Coach Cohen looks at him and nods. “I appreciate your honesty. Do you mind talking about what it was that was happening then?”
Chris looks at the floor and takes a deep breath. “I guess now saying it out loud, I feel stupid but, my girlfriend broke up with me and we had been together for almost three years,” Chris says and shakes his head. “I know that probably sounds silly but, it was pretty hard for me. It was out of the blue and….I didn’t handle it the best that I could have.”
“It’s not silly,” Coach Cohen offers. “I just want to make sure though that you are doing okay now?”
“Yeah, a lot better,” Chris nods and looks up, looking at all three coaches.
“Chris has…since he was a boy, had trouble with people walking out of his life,” Mrs. Powell says softly. She looks over at him, sadness in the corners of her eyes as she takes a slow breath.
“I’m guessing you noticed my dad isn’t around?” Chris winces some.
Coach Cohen nods. He thinks back to the information Coach Barry had provided on the plane and stressed again in the car.
“It was just sort of…emotional and a reminder of what I went through with my dad,” Chris looks down. “I know I let people down during that time….” He pauses and chews on his lips. Coach Madison and members of the team come to mind; His mother, Jo and Kyle come to mind; Ryan and Ethan come to mind; Morgan comes to mind. “But I really did learn from it. Coach Madison gave me the wakeup call I needed and with the support of people who…who love me, “ he sighs, “I’ve been able to move past that and be the leader my team needed again. I’m ready now to be a leader at Hartfeld,” Chris locks eyes with Coach Cohen.
“That’s tough about your father Chris, I am very sorry to hear that,” Coach Cohen says sympathetically. “I talked to Coach Madison on the phone earlier and Coach Barry brought me up to speed on the way over here. I know from your school records you are smart, intelligent young man. You are in honors classes, you get good grades. I do know there was another instance of some trouble with you. Your freshman year, right?”
Chris nods slowly, eyes to floor, remaining silent.
“I understand the circumstances around what happened and I know that your record was sealed but…I still needed to be made aware of it because of the potential impact on your scholarship,” Coach Cohen explains. “As concerned as I am about having a great football player, I’m much more concerned with you being a great person first. Car theft, correct?”
Chris starts to feel dejected, thinking again his chances at playing collegiate ball are slipping away. “Yes sir. I fell into hanging with a bad crowd in the 8th grade. By the time I got into high school, I was doing a lot of things that…just weren’t me, in order to feel accepted. I made a really stupid decision one night to try and impress them.”
“The sheriff knew Chris from childhood and he knew that wasn’t like him,” Mrs. Powell says. “I’m not going to gloss over what happened. It was very serious and I was very disappointed in him. But thanks to Coach Madison and…a few other people in the community that rallied behind Chris…he was not sentenced. I can truly say football has been a saving grace for my son,” Mrs. Powell swallows down her emotions. “It was his second chance at having a bright future. I’ve seen him mature and become a man and a leader at an age when he should not have to be. But he has truly turned things around and I could not be more proud of him.”
Chris looks at his mother who gives a tiny, hopeful smile. He nods in thank you but his eyes return to the floor. Coach Cohen looks over at Coach Barry and Coach Reynolds before he speaks.
“I know that Coach Madison has helped you through some really difficult times and he gave you a chance. That said, I know just how much he believes in you…and I do too.”
Chris’s head jerks upwards and he looks at Coach Cohen.
The Coach gives a small smile. “Look, I recognize that you have been through some things and made mistakes but you seemed to have learned from those mistakes. I work with a lot of young men who don’t have dad around and I know the impact that has on young lives. I’m fortunate to still have my father as a guide in my life. But I recognize what not having him would do to my life as well. You’ve got a second chance Chris, most people never get that. I hope you recognize what is in front of you and don’t take any of this for granted.”
Chris nods emphatically. “I don’t take it for granted at all. A few years ago I wouldn’t have even dreamed of being recruited. I had stopped playing sports when my dad left but I love to play and be out on the field with my teammates more than anything. I may have briefly lost sight of that a few months ago, but I swear, I won’t lose focus like that ever again.”
Cohen nods. “I don’t like to guarantee any player that they will start,” he says cautiously. “But Chris, if you do what you need to do with your school work, continue to learn and grow as a player, you will be the starting quarterback for the Hartfeld Knights. Is that what you want?”
Chris’s smile is so wide it nearly touches his ears. “Yes sir, more than anything.”
Coach Cohen turns and looks at Mrs. Powell. “Ma’am thank you again for letting us into your home. Do you have any questions for me?”
She thinks and rubs her palms on her knees. “I…well I don’t want to seem rude….”
“You won’t be, please, I want to have your full trust in working with your son,” Coach Cohen nods.
“It’s just…you are so very young. I mean, you barely look older than Chris in some ways,” she laughs a little and the other coaches laugh as well as they exchange glances. “This is your first time to be a head coach. How are you going to handle working with all those young…rambunctious men?” Mrs. Powell questions.
“I think I understand what you are asking, Mrs. Powell,” Coach Cohen says. “You want to know if I will be running a fraternity or a football team?” he smiles meekly.
“As I said, I didn’t want to be rude but…yes, exactly,” she replies.
Coach Cohen nods, “It will not be a fraternity. I like to have fun and keep the mood at practice upbeat but, I also believe in hard work. I hold every play in my care to a higher level or responsibility and I understand it’s my responsibility to not only coach them, but to help shape the men they become. I can guarantee, it won’t be one big party.”
Mrs. Powell smiles and looks at her son. “Chris, I think we’ve heard everything we need to know.”
***
The seats in the Cherryfield High School auditorium are packed to capacity. The community-wide celebration of their title victory kicked off with a performance from the dance team, led by their senior captain Morgan Price, to a high energy mix of current radio hits. The routine ended with the team landing in their signature jump splits.
Chris, Ryan and Ethan stand in the wings behind the curtain as they wait for the team introductions.
Ryan winces and clamps his knees together, bending over slightly. “Every time they do that…every single time. It’s like I feel it,” he says.
Ethan and Chris laugh. “I’d tear my groin for sure,” Ethan says.
The dance team runs off stage and into the wings to move out into the hallways. As she comes off stage, Morgan runs past Chris, Ryan and Ethan. She flashes a grin at Ryan and Ethan but her eyes never seem to move towards Chris.
“You rocked it,” Ryan smiles at her as she jogs by.
“Thanks!” She throws over her shoulder as she keeps running. Chris exhales and looks out in front of him. The junior and varsity cheerleaders combine on the stage to lead the crowd of supporters in a cheer, Nicole standing front and center and doing a series of flips at the end the cheer.
“She should flip her ass right off the stage,” Ryan says watching the cheerleaders. Chris and Ethan can’t help but laugh.
Thankfully the cheerleaders exit the opposite side of the stage. Chris watches Nicole run away and he is struck by a thought: at the moment he feels nothing at the sight of her. It’s the first time he can think of that he has truly not felt sadness, anger or longing while watching her.
Coach Madison takes to the podium, introducing the members of the varsity squad one by one. The band plays the fight song as the players make their way up onto the stage, forming a single line.
“Number 55, junior center Alex Ingram!” Coach Madison shouts into the microphone and the crowd cheers. Alex’s family screams for him from their seats.
“Attaboy Alex!” Chris shouts from the side of the stage. Alex looks over at his three friends, a bright smile on his face. He, like the other players, is wearing his state championship medal around his neck. Aaron stands one row behind him with the few sophomores on varsity and claps for his teammates.
“Last but not least I want to introduce our senior captains,” Coach Madison says. There is some applause as the town prepares to celebrate their three biggest playmakers.
“Number 28, senior fullback Ethan Clark!” The crowd stands up and begins to clap and cheer wildly as Ethan walks out to the center of the stage, standing beside Alex. He lifts a hand shyly at the crowd and waves. His family cheers loudly. Maya from her place in the crowd shouts happily for him.
“Number 22, senior running back Ryan Hawkins!” The crowd explodes with cheers and Ryan walks out, chest lifted, smiling brightly. He stops and does “The Hawk Dance” to the delight of fans. There are some squeals from the girls in the crowd and over the roar of the audience he hears the distinct voice of his mother yelling, “That’s my son!” He finds her near the front and points at her. She claps wildly, cupping her hands around her mouth as she shouts for him. He stares out into the audience, taking in the moment that will provide him with one of his happiest memories for a lifetime. As he looks over all of the smiling faces, he freezes, his smile dropping. Standing near the very back of the massive crowd, in all those faces, he recognizes the almost white blonde hair of Tay and her bangs. She is clapping but stops when she sees Ryan looking directly her way. His mouth falls open slightly.
“And last but not least, number 8, the quarterback….” Before Coach Madison can barely finish before the cheers have already begun, “Chris Powell!”
Chris walks out onto the stage waving at the audience that has erupted in a fit of applause and cheers. The high pitched wail of some girls echoes in the auditorium. He smiles as he turns and faces the audience, standing shoulder to shoulder with Ryan. He looks out and on the front row sees his mother looking up at him clapping, as Jo and Kyle cheer and clap as well. He glances to his left and looks at Ryan and Ethan. The spotlight hits the three of them and the gold medals hanging from their necks glint in the light.
The band ends the fight song as Coach Madison addresses the crowd.
“I could not be more proud of a team than I am of the young men that stand in front of you tonight,” he says. “Especially our three senior leaders, we have some big shoes to fill next season. Chris, Ryan and Ethan you have represented Cherryfield High well and we know you will continue to do so at the college level. We look forward to watching you play on Saturday’s. Best of luck,” he turns and shakes each of their hands and the crowd cheers one more time for the trio.
Coach Madison turns to the mic again. “We will have an opportunity to meet with the players, get a few of the celebration photos signed and take pictures if you want. The team will be out in the lobby in just a moment.”
Chris, Ethan and Ryan turn to head backstage and make their way to their designated table in the lobby. Once there, they sit down and grab their sharpies as a long line forms in front of them. Ryan scans the line hoping to see one face in particular again.
“Can we get a selfie with you?” Two middle school girls ask him. When he looks up at them he is met by two pairs of braces.
“You bet,” he smiles. One bends down beside him, the other wedges herself between Ryan and Ethan and leans in as she lifts her phone. She snaps the photo and the two girls giggle running off together, “Oh my gosh, he is so cute!” One of them squeals.
Ethan looks over at him and shakes his head as a silver-haired lady slides a poster with the team’s schedule and photo at the top for him to autograph.
“You played great this season! My late husband graduated from Boston College, we can’t wait to see you play for the Eagles,” She says.
“Oh thank you so much, I’m very excited to join them,” Ethan smiles. She walks over to Ryan and gets him to sign the poster as well.
“Hey you, got time for a picture? You’re all famous now, I didn’t know if I had to call your agent or something and put in a request,” Maya says stepping forward and looking at Ethan.
He laughs a little. “No, no agent tonight,” he smiles a little. She moves around the table and Ethan stands. She leans in, rising on her tip toes and almost pressing her cheek against his as he bends down. She lifts her phone and snaps the selfie. She shows it to Ethan.
“That’s a keeper,” She says with a wink. Ethan laughs a little. “Thanks Maya.
“No, thank you Ethan! Have a goodnight!”
“Bye Ryan!” She says and flashes a peace sign at him.
“Bye,” he says not looking up from the photo he is signing.
A group has formed around Chris and he stands up from the table to take a series of pictures with them, as families and young children all want a chance to be photographed with Cherryfield’s star quarterback.
“Are you going to play in the NFL someday?” a little boy asks him.
Chris grins. “Well I would sure like to. It would be a great opportunity.”
“Will you play for the Patriots?” The boy asks. “That’s my favorite team!”
Chris laughs. “If any NFL team wants me to play for them I’d be happy…but, it would be pretty awesome to be a Patriot,” he winks.
The boy smiles and takes his autographed picture and slides it over to get Ethan’s signature.
After almost 45 minutes of photos and signing, the crowd begins to dwindle at the captains’ table. Coach Madison announces that the signings and photos will end in 5 minutes.
Chris, Ryan and Ethan have their first moment of the evening to sit back and take a breath.
“That was wild,” Ethan says.
“Imagine what it would be like if we won the Super Bowl?” Chris says.
“As awesome as that would be,” Ryan shrugs. “I think winning state is still bigger, man. We did this for our town. For little Cherryfield. That’s something special right there.”
“Yeah you’re right,” Chris nods and smiles.
He is about to speak when he pauses, looking up at a couple approaching.
“Chris,” the woman says.
“Mrs. Moore, Mr. Moore….” Chris says looking up at them. Ryan and Ethan pause their conversation to pay attention.
“We just wanted to congratulate you,” Mrs. Moore says. Chris looks at her, again struck by the thought of how much Nicole looks just like her mother.
“We were at the state championship game, with Nikki cheering in it of course, but we were so thrilled for you,” Mr. Moore says.
Chris pushes out a small smile and nods. “Well, thank you, I appreciate that.” There is an uneasy silence.
“Chris we miss seeing you around,” Mr. Moore admits. “We had come to think of you as part of the family. When Nicole told us that things ended with you, well, we were pretty shocked and a little sad about it.”
Chris takes a deep breath. They had been a little sad about it. How exactly did they think he felt about it? He had been more than a littledestroyed at the time. Still, he recognized that it was a gesture of kindness and support from her parents to approach him now.
“Yeah…well, it was a sad deal,” he says and looks down at the table.
Mr. Moore and Mrs. Moore exchange awkward glances.
“Just know that, we will be pulling for you at Hartfeld,” Mrs. Moore says. “We’re sorry things didn’t work out with Nicole…” She looks at her husband and huffs. “I think…I think maybe it was just a brash decision on her part Chris. Like we said, we will continue to cheer for Chris Powell in everything you do,” she smiles some.
Chris looks up and then back and forth between the two adults.
“Thank you….” His shoulders drop some and he turns to glance over at Ryan and Ethan.
“Ryan, Ethan,” congratulations to you as well,” Mr. Moore says.
The two nod but turn their attention back to Chris.
“Oh and look who’s home!” Mrs. Moore says. “Matt, come here,” she waves towards a young man whose back is to her.
He turns slowly and a smirk is on his face. He walks over and looks at the three football players.
“Hawkins, Clark, Powell, what’s up?” he says with a nod.
Chris stares up at Matt Moore, Nicole’s older brother. Matt had graduated two years prior and the Moore’s had shipped him off to college at UConn. The parents were beginning to see the waste of time, energy and funds it was to put Matt in college. At Cherryfield, he had been the primary skirt chaser long before Ryan Hawkins ascended to the top girl-chaser throne. Matt was the textbook definition of a bad boy. He had thick black hair and long lashes and didn’t take anything seriously: not class, not the hearts he broke, not his future.
Chris had always been cool with him when he was dating Nicole but saw him as a slightly shady character. There was something about him that rubbed Chris the wrong way. He could never tell if he was joking, teasing or being serious with some of his responses. He treated girls like Styrofoam cups, using one and discarding her until the thirst was there again.
Chris had tried to have as little interaction with him as possible when he first began seeing Nicole. When Matt went away to UConn, he rarely saw him again. He had heard phone arguments with Mrs. Moore about Matt’s grades and not coming home for some of the breaks. He was partying it up in college. Two years removed from Cherryfield High, it did not seem like much had changed for Matt.
The Moore’s turn and begin talking to the family of another football player as Matt sits on the edge of the table.
“I head back to UConn in the fall and come back over Christmas to find out all hell has broken lose,” Matt says out of the corner of his mouth. “Powell you and my sister breakup, Morgan’s suddenly not coming around anymore and neither are you Hawkins. Some major shit went down, huh?”
Ryan stares at Matt. When he was as freshman, he idolized Nicole’s older brother. He saw the way girls fell apart when he smirked at them and how they came running whenever they saw their chance with him. He had wanted the same thing for himself and being Nicole’s friend, he had tried to immolate what he saw in Matt. Now looking at him, Ryan realizes just how sad Matt truly is.
“You can thank your sister for that,” Ryan says, leaning back in his chair.
“Eh, she’s been a bitch her whole life,” Matt shrugs.
Ethan’s eyes narrow. Not in defense of Nicole, but that a brother would refer to his sister in that manner, or a man would say that about any girl. Ethan reminds himself that Matt is nothing more than a 20-year-old boy.
“So what are you boys up to tonight?” Matt asks. As he continues to sit on the edge of the table, Chris detects the scent of cigarette smoke in his clothes.
“Got school tomorrow,” Chris says pointedly. “So we are heading home after this.”
“Ever the golden boy Powell,” Matt chuckles and shakes his head.
“Shouldn’t you be back at school?” Ethan asks, folding his arms across his chest.
“Yeah, school,” Matt scratches at his eyebrow. He pats his pockets and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, pulling one out. He slides the pack back into his pocket. “Don’t know if I’m really feeling the college thing,” he shrugs. “Never have really. But my folks wanted me to at least try. I spent most of last semester with a blonde graduate student and not in class, so, the wardens are pretty pissed about it.” He smiles.
Chris takes a deep breath.
“Well, I’ll see you boy scouts around town. Need a smoke,” Matt says putting the cigarette to his lips.
He is barely out the door of the auditorium before he is lighting it up.
Chris, Ethan and Ryan look at each other. “He’s still a massive tool,” Ethan says.
“Must be a genetic trait,” Ryan retorts.
Chris looks at him and lets out a light laugh.
“I think we are done here fellas,” Ryan says and pushes his chair back.
As he does he looks over and notices a thin blonde lingering near the exit. She looks his way and fidgets for a moment.
“I’ll catch up with you guys in a second,” Ryan says. He leaves Ethan and Chris at the table and approaches the blonde on the other side of the lobby.
“Tay?” he says almost shocked.
“Hey…” She says, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder. She looks down at her shoes.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice lifting in surprise. “I saw you from the stage earlier but…I almost didn’t believe it was you!”
“I um…I don’t know, I thought…maybe I could come see what all the fuss was about with you guys,” she puts her hands in her coat pockets.
“I thought this wasn’t your thing,” he shakes his head.
“It’s not….really…I mean it was cool seeing everyone cheer for you guys or whatever,” she nods and tucks her lips.
Ryan tilts his head. They have not spoken to one another in a week. He has not forgotten any of their last conversation. He replayed it over and over in his head like an audio recording. He believed that she had come to see him for who he was, not who everyone else thought him to be. He had also come to understand slowly that the picture of himself that most students at Cherryfield High had of Ryan Hawkins, he had painted himself.
“Well, thanks, I guess,” Ryan lifts his eyebrows and shrugs. Tay looks at him and frowns at his words. “I just mean, I’m surprised you are here, that’s all.” He looks at her for understanding.
“Yeah, well…you know, I hadn’t heard from you in a few days…you hadn’t liked text or called or anything and…I thought I’d come by,” she says and looks into his eyes for a heartbeat before looking away.
“Yeah, well when I left that day, it wasn’t a good feeling that I left with,” he admits.
“I know, and like I said, I wasn’t trying to upset you or make you think that I thought of you like some bad guy or something,” Tay says. “I just…I thought I would have heard from you by now.”
“What?” He laughs a little and frowns. “You miss me or something?” He laughs again.
Tay takes a deep breath and tucks her lips. She turns her head to the side, her eyes off of him and staring at anything she can see that is not his face.
Ryan looks at her, noting the lack of eye contact and her body language. He’s smiling but slowly it fades.
“Tay…?”
She turns and faces him, taking a deep breath. She licks her lips and her face is suddenly pained. “It’s stupid, right? That I would? You know it was really dumb for me to come to this. You’re right, it’s not my thing. I just…I gotta go,” she says in an avalanche of words.
She spins on her heels and turns away.
Ryan is stunned into inaction, watching her retreating figure.
“Tay!” he calls out and looks around. A few people look up as he shouts her name but she keeps walking as fast as her feet can carry her. She goes out the door and into the parking lot.
His mind fumbles with what just happened. She missed him. She came to something she would normally avoid at all costs just to see him. Their lack of contact has created a longing in her.
Ryan runs a hand through his hair, grasping his hands as he holds them above his head. All of this time, their bickering, their jabs at one another, the excuses he found to spend time with her outside of school collide in his mind as the realization sets in. Ryan knows now, in this moment, that Tay, for all her bristling at his personality and presence, has feelings for him.
When she is no longer in sight, he realizes the truth about his feelings for her as well.
He blows out a breath and turns and walks back over to Ethan and Chris.
“You okay?” Ethan asks looking at him. A group of children just got a few last minute pictures and autographs from him and Chris.
Ryan lowers his arms to his sides as he thinks. Blinking he looks up at Ethan and lets out an astounded laugh, “Yeah…I’m okay.” He turns and looks at the door where she left, shaking his head a little, feeling utterly confused.
“I’ve got to get going,” Ethan says. “I’ve got a political science test in the morning. I gotta go study.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a ton of homework too,” Chris says pushing his chair in behind the table.
The three walk outside and into the parking lot. As they walk across the pavement, Chris’s steps slow. Ethan is the first to notice and studies his friend, following his gaze. Chris and Ethan both stop walking altogether.
Ryan looks over and notes he has left them behind and turns around. “What? What is it?” He asks looking at the frowns on their faces and the intensity of their stares.
Ryan turns and looks over his shoulder and at the scene in front of him, his expression soon mimics his friends.
The glow of a cigarette can be made out as two parties lean against the brick of the auditorium talking. They stand next to a small overhead light, shining down on the path around the building.
Matt’s shoulder is against the wall and he raises the cigarette back to his lips taking a slow pull from him.
He takes a step forward, narrowing the already small space between him and the person he is talking to. Even yards away, Chris hears Morgan’s laugh as she turns from her place beside him and leans her back against the wall.
***
Morgan sits the stack of encyclopedias down onto the table and pulls out her chair taking a seat. Chris twirls a pencil in his fingers as he leans over a copy of national geographic the school library had on file. Mrs. McWhorter has sent a few of the project pairs to the library for some class time to research their characters. Chris skims the article about the reign of Julius Cesar, jotting down notes.
Morgan walked ahead of him to the library from class, saying in a brisk sentence that she was going to look through the encyclopedias.
He asked Mrs. Shelby, the librarian, for some resources on Rome and she produced the 20 year old copy of the magazine.
Morgan takes a seat across from him and flips open the World Britannica to the section on Cleopatra.
She bites her lip as she reads over it. Chris keeps his head down but lifts his eyes to her. He isn’t sure if she is aware that she frowns slightly as she concentrates. He finds it endearing. She sees something of note and flips open her binder, grabbing a pen and jotting the fact down.
“Did you finish reading the play?” Chris asks.
Morgan looks at him. “Yes,” she says and looks back down at the encyclopedia.
“I’m almost done. All of that Shakespeare talk though…you know the ‘twas and oh nays and twere’s,” he shakes his head. “I get what they are saying but…its sort of hard to read too.”
“Hmmm,” Morgan says without looking at him. He knows this is his cue to stop speaking to her. He has been met with that same dismissive sound several times in the week they have been paired together.
“I was going to look at some ideas for the costume too,” Chris says ignoring the not so subtle hint. “There’s actually some pretty good sketches in this article about their attire.”
At this Morgan looks up, “Really?”
“Yeah, see?” Chris turns the magazine around and slides it towards her, pointing to a drawing on a page that also features several roman statues.
“That’s really helpful, maybe we can make a copy of it?” She asks and looks directly into his face for the first time. Chris looks at her for a minute before nodding. He holds her stare, his lips slightly parted.
“Yeah, good idea, I’ll take it to Mrs. Shelby before we leave,” he nods.
She stares at him again and gulps, then looks down into the encyclopedia.
They are quiet again for a few minutes longer before Chris decides to address something that has been eating at him since the night before.
“So, um, I saw you talking to Matt Moore last night after the celebration,” He says slowly.
Morgan lifts her eyes to him, a mix of curiosity and anger in her eyes.
“Yeah?” She frowns.
“Morgan, I know I don’t have any right to say anything about what you do with your time or who you spend it with but…Matt is not a good guy for you to be around,” Chris says. He sees her frown deepen.
“Not a good guy? Compared to who?” She snaps. “You?” She lifts her eyebrows and throws her head back.
He bites his lip. “I deserve that. Especially from you, I admit, I deserve that. I know I don’t have the right-“
“Oh that’s true, you don’t,” she cuts him off and looks back down into the book. She puts a finger to the page, scanning it for the place she was last reading.
“You don’t want to hear it, I’m sure, not from me, but I’m just looking out for you Morgan,” he says earnestly.
“Since when does how I feel matter to you?” She cocks an eyebrow.
Chris stares at her. This Morgan is a little different from the Morgan he spent time with two months ago. They have only spoken when it’s related to school work and she’s kept her distance from him. He realizes she’s had two months to let the hurt of what he did seethe within her.
She’s putting up a hard exterior for him and he can’t fault her for that. But he knows at the heart of it all, Morgan is the same, sweet girl she has always been.
“I care about your feelings Morgan,” he says his voice rising. He looks around in the library and realizes the volume at which he is speaking and whispers, leaning forward. “I saw you talking to him and I didn’t like it. Just be careful around him is all I’m saying. If he’s back in Cherryfield for good, it could mean some trouble.”
“I’ve known Matt since I was in the sixth grade and Nicole and I became best friends,” Morgan retorts. “He’s Nicole’s big brother, that’s all he’s ever been to me. I spent the night at her house, he never once tried anything. Sure he flirted but that’s Matt. Last night all he was doing was talking to me about the whole Nicole situation and apologizing. That’s it.” She stares intently back at Chris.
“Maybe so, maybe that’s all it is. You could be totally right,” Chris nods. “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be unlike him to…”
“To what?” Morgan asks. “To try and hook up with me? Get me in the back of his car?” Her glare does not waiver.
Her jab stings him but he doesn’t let up. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” Chris nods, keeping his voice in a whisper. “Look, I know I’m the last guy on the planet to talk to you about something like this, but Morgan seeing you hurt after what happened between us…that’s what woke me up. It’s what got me to understand how bad I had gotten and what I had done and I will forever be sorry for that. I hurt you, I hurt Ryan and I’m sorry. You won’t talk to me to hear me out about it so I’m saying it now. Just because I messed up, doesn’t mean I don’t care what you feel. I don’t want to see you hurt again, not by anyone. You deserve so much more Morgan than any one of us has to offer you,” Chris says.
She looks into his eyes, gripping the pen tightly in her hands and then looks down.
“I just want to work on the project,” she says softly, blowing out a breath. She looks up at him her eyes pleading. She feels it, the pull towards him again. She hates herself for it and she wants to hate him for making her feel it. Every time he is sincere, every time she gets that glimpse of the old Chris, she still feels it. She is not sure what kind of power he has over her, but she wants it to stop.
“Is it ever going to be okay between us again?” he asks slowly. “We’ve got a lot of time left to work on this project and…you heard Mrs. McWhorter earlier. We are probably going to have to work on it together away from school. If…if that’s what we have to do Morgan, I don’t want you to be afraid to be around me…or…mad that you have be close to me. I just want this to be better.”
She closes her eyes slowly and then looks at the table. She exhales.
“Morgan?” He studies her.
“I don’t know the answer to that Chris.”
READ CHAPTER 18