Disclaimer: The following is a prequel to Choices The Freshman and The Sophomore stories. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Jo, Kyle or Nicole. All of the characters, story line and events were originally developed by me, some areas in part with @maxattack-powell, in conjuction to her adaptation of The Freshman.
Author’s Note: Contains Strong Language.
Chapter 21: Can’t Let Go
Ryan trails his mother into the kitchen, sitting the last of the grocery bags on top of the counter.
“I think I bought the entire store,” Lisa says exasperated. She puts her hand on her hip, leaning against the other on the counter and catches her breath. “Thanks babe,” she says to Ryan, reaching up and messing his already disheveled hair.
“Thanks for going to the store,” he says pulling the gallon of milk from a bag and putting it in the refrigerator.
“We were down to baking soda and pickles,” Lisa chuckles. “Have to keep the fridge and pantry stocked for my growing boy who is eating me out of house and home.”
“All that running in track builds up my appetite,” Ryan defends with a grin. He reaches into another bag and pulls out some lettuce and a variety of vegetables and slides them into the storage drawer inside the refrigerator.
“Mmhmm,” Lisa waves off. “Well, I can’t send you off to Louisville in any kind of condition, gotta keep you healthy,” she laughs and grabs a bag of chips from one of the sacks and opens it. She munches on one and her eyes close slightly at the perfectly salty taste.
“Thanks Mom,” he closes the refrigerator, kisses her cheek and grabs a few of the bags and opens the pantry door to begin stocking it.
“All of you about to go off and leave home,” she sighs. “All heading in different directions. The thing with Morgan is by far the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life, and I’ve heard some crazy shit,” Lisa says stuffing another chip in her mouth.
Ryan leans back and looks out of the pantry at her. “Thing with Morgan?”
“From the Miami trip?” Lisa looks at him puzzled. “Wait you don’t know? I thought you guys were friends?”
“We…” Ryan licks his lips. “We are, but I haven’t seen much of her at school lately. We…don’t talk every day,” he shrugs. Lisa has never known that Morgan was the girl that had left Ryan pining and melancholy a few months ago. She does not know Morgan was the reason he and Chris fell out of favor briefly. She also has no recollection of the kiss Morgan gave him on Christmas. In her wine-infused daze, she had forgotten as soon as she fell asleep in the car that night.
“I didn’t even know she was going to Miami for spring break. What happened?” Ryan frowns.
“Stephen was going on and on about it this morning at the office, his mind is just as blown as all of ours,” Lisa begins. “Apparently when they went down to Miami on spring break, some famous photographer discovered Morgan,” she says, making quotation marks in the air with her fingers. “Like in a matter of days she had some offers from modeling agencies.”
Ryan was holding a bag of flour in his hands and it drops to the floor. A small white cloud puffs out from the bottom. He squints, mouth hanging open. “What?!”
Lisa shrugs. “I know, isn’t that nuts? Stephen was talking to us about it. They are all excited but nervous and a little scared. He wants her to have the opportunity, but you know Morgan. He’s worried they are going to eat her alive. Anyways, he said he wouldn’t let her officially sign any ad deals or gigs until she officially graduates, but she’s going to be working with people on learning that model junk.” Lisa shakes her head. “Abso-fucking-lutely insane.”
Ryan gulps and bends down to pick up the bag of flour. A deep frown is on his face. Morgan, a model? He steps into the pantry out of view from Lisa and sits the flour on a shelf. He puts a hand on one of the shelves and steadies himself for a minute. As mind boggling as the entire scenario is, Ryan can see it. He has always thought she was stunning, even when they were kids, she was the prettiest, little scrawny thing he had seen. She had grown taller, never really filling out, but her face was always striking. Those eyes of hers had been in his thoughts many a night.
“She’s traveling back and forth between Cherryfield and New York City for a few weeks. Stephen was going to talk to the school about her classwork on some Friday’s,” Ryan hears Lisa say. “I’ve had to cancel all of his scheduled appointments on Friday’s for the next month. Already getting glamorous for her. Maybe I should have been a model,” Lisa jokes.
Ryan places some more items back up on the shelf, slowly emptying the grocery bags. He thinks about calling Morgan but he would much rather talk to her face to face. Then a thought hits him. There was someone else he had promised to call that evening.
He lets out a deep sigh, his mind roaming as he puts food on the shelves.
***
Alex walks at Ryan’s side through the crowded hallway, towards the main foyer of the school. There is a long table set up and some student council representatives are seated behind it. There are two large ballot boxes on either end. A sign in the middle states the purpose of the table. “Vote for Prom King and Queen.” On either side, two lists are taped up with the names of the finalists. For king they are Chris Powell, Ryan Hawkins and Ethan Clark. This is not a surprise to Ryan. He received a congratulatory letter in second period that he was a finalist. He already knows the award will go to Chris and hasn’t put a second thought to it. Curiously he and Alex stop and look at the list of finalists for queen. They are Nicole Moore, Maya Braxton, and Alicia Ritter.
Ryan shakes his head. “That cannot happen.”
“You mean Nicole as prom queen?” Alex lets out a laugh.
“Yeah! There’s no way. None,” Ryan says. “Especially with Chris being king. That’s gonna be awkward as fuck and on top of that, she doesn’t even care about this school. She said it herself. Plus, after what she did to Chris and how she treated-“ Ryan pauses.
Alex looks over at him and can see the mental light bulb go off from the telling look on Ryan’s face.
“Dude, what?” Alex asks slowly.
“We aren’t going to let that happen. It should go to someone who deserves it,” Ryan smirks and looks at Alex.
Alex stares back at him and then a slow smile comes to his face. He nods in agreement. “You’re right. What are we doing?” Alex asks, down with whatever scheme Ryan is forming.
Ryan approaches the table and Marissa Crowley, a tiny, pale brunette with tiny brown eyes looks up at him. She lights up at the sight of him. “Hey Ryan, do you want to vote?”
“Um, Marissa, could I get some of those ballot sheets?” Ryan asks and flashes a grin.
“Sure thing,” She slides him two, one for him and one for Alex.
“Actually Marissa, I’m going to need a lot more than that,” he grins again and winks at her. She blushes but pauses not understanding his meaning. Ryan takes advantage of her momentary confusion and reaches over and grabs more than two-thirds of the stack of ballots.
“Oh, wait Ryan I don’t think you can-“
“Thanks Marissa. I’ll go around and help you guys get these filled out. Anything I can do to help student council you know? I really enjoyed helping you guys with the valegrams. Let me help you,” he smiles and looks directly in her eyes, his stare unwavering.
Marissa shifts in her seat. Alex tucks his lip, fighting off a laugh as he watches Ryan work his charm.
“I’d be happy to help too, Marissa. Anything for C-H,” Alex nods. He puts his hands on the table and leans forward, smiling sweetly at her.
“Alex here is real big on school spirit,” Ryan says, running his hand through his hair.
She looks back and forth between them, clears her throat and shifts again. “Uh, sure guys. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you going around and helping to get signatures. Do you want some for king too?” She asks reaching over.
“Nope, we’re good!” Ryan says turning and walking away quickly. “Thanks Marissa!” he says over his shoulder. Alex walks away with him and laughs.
“Alright, so what are we doing?” Alex asks. Ryan splits the stack in his hand and gives them to Alex.
“Getting anyone and everyone we can to write in Morgan Price. If she has enough write in votes, she could win it,” Ryan says, still thinking.
“Morgan’s our girl. I’m down, let’s do it,” Alex nods.
***
The bell signaling the end of fifth period rings and Ryan grabs his backpack and heads towards the cafeteria. He spots Ethan and Chris walking together towards the lunch line.
“I’ll catch up with you guys in a second,” he says.
Chris and Ethan nod at him and enter the line.
Ryan looks around trying to spot any members of the football team. He does not see anyone for a few minutes, before Aaron shuffles towards the double doors of the cafeteria, hands shoved into his pockets, head down, his overstuffed backpack jutting out from his back.
“Pipsqueak!” Ryan yells.
Aaron’s step slow and his shoulders drop at the sound of that name. He blows out a breath and turns and looks at Ryan.
“Yeah?”
“Need you to do something,” Ryan says. He sits his backpack down on a bench in the hall and pulls out one of the ballots and a pencil.
Aaron looks at him, reluctance filling his eyes. Ryan hands the ballot and pencil to him. Aaron takes it and examines it and then looks up at Ryan, frowning skeptically.
“That’s the ballot for prom queen,” Ryan nods.
“I can see that,” Aaron says, his voice strong and oddly unwavering.
“Need you to write in a name for a vote. I’m going to take all the ballots I get and put them in the box. I need you to write in Morgan Price,” Ryan explains.
Aaron’s head jerks back and he blinks for a minute. “Why are you doing this?” His eyes narrow.
“For Chris,” Ryan nods. “Well, and for her too. We can’t let Nicole win. So, for Chris, will you sign it?”
Aaron studies Ryan and scratches at his eyebrow. He says nothing but turns and puts the ballot up against the wall. He scribbles Morgan’s name onto the paper just below the other three names listed. He turns and hands it back to Ryan silently.
“Thanks Pipsqueak, appreciate it,” Ryan nods and turns and walks away leaving Aaron in the hall. He finds Chris and Ethan in the lunch line, apologizing as he cuts in front of a few people to join them. He looks down at the trays of food under the sneeze guard.
“What in the hell is that?” Ryan asks. Chris laughs.
“Supposed to be Sloppy Joe’s,” Chris explains. “At least that’s what the menu said.”
Ryan looks horrified.
“I’m not sure what lab they made that in either,” Ethan says and Chris and Ryan laugh.
Despite their misgivings about the food options for the day, they grab their lunches and head to their table. Alex is already seated.
“Ayuh, how bad is it?” Chris asks Alex as he takes a bite of his sandwich.
“I didn’t eat breakfast, I don’t even care right now,” Alex says. “I’m just chewing and swallowing. Not even tasting at this point.”
The guys laugh.
“Congrats my dudes on the prom king nominations,” Alex says.
“Thanks,” Chris, Ethan and Ryan reply in unison.
“I saw who the finalists for queen are,” Alex says and glances at Ryan.
Chris sighs. “Yeah, me too. If she wins, there’s not much I can do about it,” he shrugs. Chris isn’t being pompous in assuming he will be prom king. Anyone at Cherryfield High with half a brain knows the state champion quarterback with the Hollywood looks is a lock to win. He thinks for a moment about the possibility of Nicole being crowned queen, the two of them standing awkwardly next to each other on stage as the crowns are placed on their head. Then there will be the king and queen dance. Once he would have loved nothing more than to share that moment with her. Now he’s resigned himself to deal with it if he has to.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Ryan says glancing at Alex. “There are plenty of people around here who can’t stand her after what she did to you. She won’t win. I can guarantee it.”
“You know the king usually has a date, so, who are you planning to take?” Ethan asks him, biting into his sandwich.
Chris groans and sighs. “No one. There’s not anybody I would ask,” he shakes his head. There is only one girl in the school he would have ever considered taking in the wake of Nicole-gate, but he would not dare ask her. Morgan only recently forgave him. They have not seen much of each other but Chris knows, despite taking a positive step with her, there will always be a lingering oddness to being near one another. He knows asking her would send the wrong message and the last thing either of them needs is more confusion between them.
“So you are just gonna go solo?” Ryan asks. “You gotta take somebody.”
Chris shakes his head no. “Naw man, it’s cool. I don’t want to go out on a date, even a pretend one for just that night. Going alone is not the worst thing in the world,” Chris nods. “Besides, you guys will be there, we can hang out.”
Ryan grabs both sides of the messy sandwich ready to take a bite. He glances around the lunchroom. He does not see Tay, but that is not unusual. She takes her lunch with her to Mr. Thele the calculus teacher’s room with some of the other students in the Math Club, and has done so all year. She asked Ryan about sitting with him and the guys at lunch but he was not so sure she would enjoy her time with the three others. That’s what he told her at least.
He lowers his head to bite into his sandwich, still looking around the cafeteria, but a sight stops him. It’s the first time he’s seen her since before spring break and specifically since his mother shared the news with him the night before. Ryan has not said anything to anyone about it yet, wanting to talk with Morgan first.
“Hey guys,” Ryan says suddenly. “I’ve got to go take care of something….I’ll catch up with you guys later,” He stands up and swings his backpack onto his shoulders and grabs his tray.
“Oh okay,” Ethan says looking up at him. Chris and Alex watch as Ryan hurries across the cafeteria and out the doors.
“Morgan!” he calls after her.
She spins around, tray in both her hands. When their eyes meet, she smiles. Ryan takes hurried steps towards her.
“Hey,” she says still smiling. “What’s up?”
“You headed to the dance room?” he asks stopping at her side.
She nods.
“Mind if I join you? I wanted to talk….” He says.
Morgan’s eyebrows lift. “Um, sure. There’s normally not anyone in there except sometimes Mrs. Dalton is in her office but, I didn’t see her this morning, I don’t think she’s here today.”
“Cool, we can talk then?” he repeats.
She nods and turns heading towards the gymnasium, Ryan at her side. He pushes the door to the gym open, holding it back for her as he balances his tray on one hand. She walks past him and they walk across the gym in silence. Ryan opens the door to the adjacent dance room and Morgan walks in. The room is lined with mirrors on both sides and a barre runs across one of the walls.
Morgan drops her backpack and sits cross-legged down on the floor. Ryan does the same, sitting beside her, leaning his back against one of the mirrors.
“Is this Sloppy Joe’s?” Morgan says looking at her plate.
“Allegedly,” Ryan retorts and she laughs. He looks at her smiling face and smiles too. They fall quiet, eating the surprisingly delicious sandwiches before Morgan looks at him.
“So, what’s up?”
“Well, from what I heard, I should probably ask you that,” Ryan says and looks at her, brow lifted.
She frowns slightly as she thinks for a minute then realizes what he means. “Oh….You heard,” she says softly and looks down at her tray.
“My mom told me. She said your dad told the ladies at work about it,” Ryan begins slowly. Morgan only nods. “So, were you planning on telling me?”
She grabs her napkin and wipes at her mouth and hands. “Eventually….”
“Like when?” he frowns.
“Graduation….” She says haltingly.
Ryan pauses and his eyes narrow. “Morgan,” he says more than a little hurt and agitated.
“Ryan it’s not anything personal-“ she begins.
“Then what the hell would it be?” he interrupts bitterly.
“I didn’t really want anyone here at school to know,” she says and shakes her head.
“I’m not everyone else at school. It’s me. I thought you knew you could trust me,” he shakes his head, still frowning.
“I do…and…I’m sorry I wasn’t planning to tell you sooner,” she says softly. “Really, I wasn’t keeping it from you to be a jerk. I just…it’s all so crazy and everything is already changing all around me, I just, I wanted things to be the same with you and the guys….”
He stares into her eyes and exhales, nodding slowly. “I can understand that. But, this is me Morgan. With everything we’ve been through…I just thought you’d share something like that with me. I mean it’s your life and…you will be leaving Cherryfield, probably for good. Was I even going to get a chance to say goodbye to you?”
“Of course,” she sighs and looks at him, her eyes sad and pleading. “That’s not what I wanted at all. I never intended to shut you out in any way. Seriously? You’re the person I’m most sad about saying goodbye to here,” she admits and looks down at the floor.
Ryan looks at her, her hair falls forward around her face. He already misses her. He feels the heaviness of their emotions, and in typical Ryan fashion, tries to ease the tension.
“Personally, if it was me,” Ryan says and Morgan looks up at him, “I would snatch the mic from Mrs. Towns during the morning announcements and yell all over this motherfuckin’ school, I’m a model bitch!” Ryan says demonstratively, throwing his head back. Morgan’s eyes go wide and when he looks back at her grinning from ear to ear, she bursts into laughter, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Yeah, no,” She shakes her head.
“At least shoe polish ‘America’s Next Top Model’ on your back car window,” he suggests playfully.
Morgan laughs again knowing he is only joking.
“No!”
“I said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re a better person than all of us. I would wear it on a t-shirt or have one of those sandwich boards and a bell and ring it, walking back and forth past Nicole’s table at lunch,” Ryan laughs at his own joke.
Morgan laughs hard again but shakes her head. “I really don’t want anyone else to know here Ryan. I do trust you. But please don’t say anything to Ethan and Chris?”
“Mor-“
“Please,” she asks and he sees the earnestness in her eyes. “I trust Ethan with my life, that’s not it at all. I just, I want to handle this and explain it to them in my own way. Especially Chris. It’ll probably be the last time we will ever talk.”
“Alright,” he agrees reluctantly.
“Nicole and the girls are exactly one of the reasons I don’t want anyone here to know either. They already hate me for everything that went down with Nicole and she’s told them all sorts of lies about me. You think them hearing something like this is going to make anything any better?”
“Fuck them and their jealousy. That’s all it’s ever been,” Ryan says with a deep frown. “Nicole always wanted to be top shit around this school, even though she claimed none of it mattered. She’s known all along who the prettiest, sweetest girl was. Even when she was friends with you, she was jealous of you Morgan. Getting people to turn against you wasn’t about Chris, it was about her jealousy.”
Morgan frowns. “That doesn’t make any sense. I always tried to be the best, best friend I could to Nikki. She had everything. Chris,” Morgan begins and shakes her head stopping herself. “All of that. Why would she ever have been jealous of me?”
“I told you Morgan, you are special,” Ryan says his voice lowering. He looks up into her eyes with sincerity. “That wasn’t just a come-on. The whole world is about to find out what I’ve already known for years.”
Morgan stares back at him and feels her heart flutter. She gasps a little bit, then closes her eyes and looks down, reminded of the complicated triangle they are a part of. She has no idea there’s a fourth player in the game.
They both are quiet again, neither touching their food. Ryan looks across the room at their reflections in the mirror.
“My mom said you are back and forth between Cherryfield and New York City till graduation?” Ryan asks her.
“Yeah, pretty much every weekend. I’m going to the IMG headquarters there for what they call development. Basically it’s me learning to pose, walk and convey different feelings through just my face. I have my first workshop this weekend,” she nods.
He shakes his head. “That’s wild. But I’m really happy for you. You deserve every bit of happiness you can get,” Ryan smiles some.
She peers up at him gratefully. “Thank you.”
“So…every weekend?”
“Pretty much. If not the whole weekend then at least for a Saturday. Then when graduation hits, I’m off hopefully on my first assignment,” she nods. “It’s going to be a lot on top of school and driving back and forth, but my parents are awesome and ready to help. It’s like a dream.”
“What about prom then?” Ryan asks.
“Oh,” she shrugs. “I wasn’t planning on going anyway, so, if I’ve got to work then, that’s no big deal.”
“It’s totally a big deal, it’s prom! You’re the dance team captain you have to be there.”
“What does that have to do with it?” Morgan frowns and laughs a little.
“Because it’s a dance and…you dance and…whatever, look, you have to be at prom,” Ryan says adamantly.
“Earlier in the year, I said if I went, it would just be with a group of the girls to hangout and have fun, but, now obviously everything’s changed and I don’t want to go and stand around by myself,” Morgan shakes her head. “It’s fine if I miss it.”
“No. It’s. Not,” Ryan shakes his head. He thinks of the ballots he’s already gathered for her to become queen. Ryan sees an opportunity. An opportunity he has hoped for, for quite some time. He hesitates, unsure if he should speak the words in his heart.
“Look….” He begins, taking a deep breath and licking his lips. “I know a lot has happened. I know…things are a little weird still, even if it’s better. But…Morgan, honestly, you are the girl I always wanted to go to prom with,” Ryan says staring at her.
He stops himself. He does not want to hurt anyone and he promised himself he would never disappoint her. But long before Tay was in his life, Morgan had been the girl Ryan had wanted. He realizes he never fully gave up on the possibility of anything ever happening with her. He moved on and what he feels for Tay is strong and real, but so is what he feels for Morgan. He parts his lips, reservations in his heart about speaking any further.
“What is it you are saying, Ryan?” Morgan sits up straight as she looks back into his eyes. He glances down briefly, from the intensity of her stare, but looks back into her eyes again.
Her question and her gaze are his prompt to speak. He tells himself if he goes with Morgan just as friends, then he can explain why it would be important to him to Tay. They could then work through it together.
“You are going to be leaving soon and…before we graduate, I always wanted to take you on at least one date if you’d give me the chance,” he says.
He pauses. There is the nagging feeling that he is about to make a mistake but there is the overwhelming urge to make one of his biggest desires a reality.
“So, Morgan I am asking you, if you’d like to go to prom with me? Even just as friends that’s fine,” he nods. “I just really want to take you.”
Morgan slowly smiles and lets out a happy giggle, nodding. “Yeah, I’d love to.”
“Really?” his voice shoots up eight octaves and he clears his throat. “I mean, really, okay cool,” he nods and looks from side to side, playing it off.
Morgan laughs.
“I don’t want you to feel any pressure from me either,” Ryan says suddenly serious. “I mean, if we go, I don’t want you thinking I expect to like, you know, have sex or something just because it’s prom night. I want you to know I respect that, you know, that’s not something you are about. We go as friends or whatever, it’s fine. Okay? I just want to see you happy.”
She blinks and nods appreciatively but pauses. “What if…” She bites into her lip. “What if I wanted to go as more than friends though?” She asks him slowly.
“Like, a legit date?” He asks raising his eyebrows. He had not anticipated this. This changes everything.
“Yeah,” she nods and smiles bashfully back at him.
He blinks and nods, struggling with an internal dialogue. He is thrilled Morgan wants more with him, but now, how can he possibly explain this date to the other girl in his life. He blows out a breath and then looks up at her. She is smiling so brightly, happiness seems to pour off of her.
“Well…then Morgan I will do everything I can to make it the best night of your life,” he says. His blue eyes stare deeply into hers.
Morgan grins. “Ryan, even if we went as friends, it would still be the best night, because…I’d be with you.”
He smiles. “So, you think you’d be able to get out of having to go to NYC?”
“I think for one weekend, yeah. I mean, my dad told them school comes first and it is my senior prom. I could maybe go there earlier in the week or something, I’ll work it out, don’t worry,” she nods.
“I can’t wait,” he nods.
“Me either,” she blushes some. “So…um, I gotta ask though. Since we’re going, is it going to be us or is it going to be like a group…?”
Ryan knows exactly what she is indirectly referring to. She wants to know if Chris will be there.
He shakes his head no. “I want you to have a great time. I get that if it’s all of us, that will be awkward. It’s me and you. I’ll talk to both of them,” he says of Ethan and Chris. “I’m sure they will understand.”
“Chris and I have worked through things,” Morgan says. “But…I just think that with what happened with him and then being there on a date with you, it would be weird if we’re all together like that. I don’t want you to bail on them. It’s just, like you said, I’d be more comfortable with you if-“
“It’s fine,” he says. “I want it to be our night, okay?”
She smiles again. “Okay.”
***
“Clark, there you are,” Maya says and leans against the locker next to his. She holds a few books to her chest and smirks.
“Hey Maya,” he says and gives a small smile to her. He looks over at her and can’t help but to notice the short skirt she is wearing and tightly fitted top with calf-high boots. Her meticulously done make-up was recently freshened up in the bathroom mirror and she popped a mint on the way to his locker. Ms. Cherryfield looks as if she is ready for the evening gown portion of a pageant, not just biology class.
“I’ve been looking for you since lunch. I was trying to catch you before you guys bounced, but I missed you somehow,” she says and uses a finger to push her hair back from her face. She thin flips her hair back over her shoulder.
“Oh really? What’s up?” he turns and faces her. Her perfume floats under his nose after she flings her hair back again.
“Well, I saw that you are one of the finalists for prom king, first of all, congratulations,” she grins.
“Thanks. It’ll be Chris, but it’s cool people nominated me. Congratulations to you too, I saw your name on the list,” he nods.
“Thanks, I’m excited and really ready for prom,” she smiles and tucks her lips.
He nods and closes his locker, looking at her curious as to why she is lingering.
“So, um, that’s not all that I came to talk to you about. I uh, well Ethan, I wanted to ask if you’d go to prom with me?” Maya says swaying nervously from one foot to the other.
“Me?” His head jerks. “You want to go with me?”
Maya stops moving then lets out a laugh. “Ethan, Ethan….” She shakes her head.
“What?” He frowns slightly puzzled.
“I totally want to go with you. I’ve wanted you to ask me out all school year,” she chuckles. “After a while it became obvious you weren’t going to so, I decided I’d step up and ask you.”
“All year?”
“Yup. I was trying to throw out mad hints but, you weren’t getting it,” she giggles.
“I’m sorry,” he says running a hand over his face and shaking his head with a groan. “I just…I’m not used to girls wanting to go out with me. It’s always Ryan and Chris so…I never assume…” he trails off and sighs. “I’m sorry Maya I didn’t get it. I just didn’t think I was your type.”
“My type?” she balks.
“I mean…what about Ryan? You guys used to…well see each other,” he says trying to be polite.
“Pfft,” she shakes her head and waves her hand. “Water under the bridge with him. You can ask him yourself. Nothing between us since early in the year and we are cool now just as friends. I wouldn’t even have asked you if I thought Ryan would make a big deal about it. So…prom?” She tilts her head as she smiles hopefully.
He laughs a little and nods. “Yeah, okay. I’ll take you to prom.”
“Perfect! Thank you Ethan. I’m really excited,” she says.
“Me too,” he grins.
“You still have my number right? Even though you have never used it,” she gives him a little side eye.
“I do, and I’m sorry I just…I didn’t think you wanted to be more than friends with me,” he blushes.
“That’s one of the things I like about you Ethan, is that you don’t think things like that,” she says leaning in towards him.
“I’ll uh, I’ll give you a call and we can work out the details,” he says as the warning bell rings before seventh period.
“Sounds good,” she smiles. She demurely touches his arm and then raises up onto her toes. She places a kiss against his cheek.
“Looking forward to talking to you later Ethan,” she says in his ear. He feels his neck and face grow hot as they turn almost magenta in color. Maya chuckles lightly and struts away from him, looking back over her shoulder at him from underneath her lashes.
Ethan stares out into space ahead of him, grinning sheepishly for a long time, and the bell rings, jolting him from his state of shock and sending him up the hallway in a hustle.
***
Ryan pulls his Bronco into the driveway of Tay’s home. The lights shining against the garage door go dim and he cuts the windshield wipers off along with the motor. Rain is falling on Cherryfield tonight.
He doesn’t have to call or text, the garage door lifts and she is standing there, next to the button, a smile on her face.
He steps out of the Bronco and hustles into the garage, dipping his head as fat rain drops slap against his him.
He shakes the water off, brushing a hand over his hair and flicking water away as he approaches her. She pushes the button and the garage door lowers as she steps forward, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Ryan lifts his hands and hesitates, then gingerly embraces her.
They finished working on the bike just before spring break. Tools from their work efforts are still scattered around on tables, shelves and even the floor, neither bothering to store them away yet. It’s as if putting those tools away would signal the end of something special for both of them.
The garage has become their spot to hang out and spend time together. Tay’s parents both work the evening shift and Ryan dips out just before they make it home. He’s been inside the house exactly twice, venturing into the kitchen with her for snacks and drinks and once to snuggle on the sofa and watch a movie.
“Hey,” she says and kisses the tip of his nose.
“Hey,” he gives a rueful smile.
“How has your day been?” She asks. She pulls away and takes a seat on the old wicker chair her mother has moved out of the living room and into the garage until she can find a better spot to store it.
“It’s been,” he tosses his head from side to side. “What about you?”
“Oh my gosh, Sarah Jane, the girl I’ve been tutoring,” Tay looks at him for recognition. He nods. “She got a C+ on her quiz. Now, I know that doesn’t sound like much, but that’s like a massive breakthrough for her,” Tay nods. “Was pretty stoked about that.”
“That’s awesome, congratulations. You’re a good tutor. I knew you’d get her to come around eventually. Hell, you did with me,” Ryan shrugs. Tay laughs.
“Well, yeah, but Sarah Jane isn’t nearly as cute to work with,” she says with a smirk.
Ryan looks down at the floor and slides his hands into his pockets, avoiding looking at her.
Tay studies him and tilts her head. “Everything okay? When you got here, you didn’t seem…well all that excited.”
He chews his lip and nods.
“Really?” She says slowly. “ ‘Cause to be honest, you’ve been acting weird and a little distant since I mentioned to you the other day about sitting with you at lunch, you know, with you and your friends….”
He finally looks up at her and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to have this conversation, but he knew it was bound to happen.
“Tay….” He begins.
“Am I about the get the speech? Is that what this is?” She folds her arms across her chest and leans back in the chair.
“Look, there’s just some things we need to talk about,” he says motioning with his hands. “Specifically about us.”
Outside there is a flash of lightening and it casts a brief white light through the garage. Thunder booms a second later.
“Us?” she raises an eyebrow. “Is there even an us, Ryan? It’s kind of like that if you don’t talk about it, it never happened thing right? I was thinking earlier about how you got all flustered and blew it off when I asked about sitting with Chris and Ethan, and then I started thinking. Do Chris and Ethan even know you’ve been seeing me?”
Ryan sticks his tongue in his cheek and slowly shakes his head no looking down at the floor.
She lets out a long shaky breath, her chest rising and falling quickly. She swallows back her emotions but her body starts to tremble slightly from her anger. “Your two best friends have no idea that for the last few weeks we’ve been spending all this time together? What have you told them you were even doing?”
Ryan’s shoulders slump and he sighs. “That I had stuff to take care of or that I had homework,” he scratches the back of his head.
“Why?” She asks bitterly. “Why keep this,” she waves a finger pointing at various things in the garage, “why keep me and all of this a secret?”
“I don’t know,” he says just barely above a whisper, still not making eye contact.
“Don’t give me that! You do know!” She shouts. “What am I Ryan? What has this been? I’m not your girlfriend, I realize that now. I was just a friend that’s a girl. Were we ever even dating? Because to date you have to go out on actual fucking dates, you know to restaurants and movies where people can see you. Not holed up at my house in my garage. I’ve never once in two months’ time been to your house, and you never even asked if I wanted to. So, what have you been too ashamed of what was happening with me to let anyone know?
“No, that’s not it at all,” he says shaking his head and finally lifting his eyes back to hers.
“Then what?” She snaps. She uncrosses her legs and her feet slam to the floor as she stands up and strides towards him.
“I am not ashamed of you, that’s not it,” Ryan looks at her, squinting with the pain of his words.
She takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself. “Okay then, well, if you’re telling the truth and you’re not, you’ve got the chance to start making it up to me. You can this weekend. We go on a date, a real actual date Ryan. Prom is in a few weeks too, so, let’s go. You and me, before the school, God and all of Cherryfield,” she says and crosses her arms again, throwing her hip to the side as she glares at him.
Ryan groans softly and closes his eyes. He runs both hands over his head and paces to the other side of the garage.
“Tay…,” he breathes out.
She stops moving and stands up straight. “What?” she says trying not to sound hurt, already expecting the worst. “Ryan,” her voice cracks this time. “What?”
He rubs his forehead and looks at her, seeing the torture she feels reflected in her eyes. Ryan takes a deep breath, knowing the words he will speak will hurt her deeply.
“I asked someone else,” he says barely above a whisper.
She does not speak. She blinks back the tears she feels forming and gulps. She lets out a laugh, laced with anger and heartache, turning her back to him as she walks away from him to the other side of the garage entirely.
“Who?” She shakes her head.
“Morgan Price,” he admits.
Tay lifts her head turning back to him. “That dance girl?”
Ryan can only nod. He feels his stomach churn.
Tay scoffs and laughs harshly.
There are several flashes of lightning and a clap of thunder that rattles the whole house. On a shelf, a can of paint slides forward from the jostling of the pavement.
“She’s been my friend for a long time,” Ryan says. “It’s, it’s complicated,” he frowns. “I know that doesn’t make it any better but, I can’t explain what it is really. If I could, I’d tell you everything. But I can’t because I don’t understand it myself. I…I didn’t do this, any of this to hurt you Tay, please believe that.”
“You didn’t want to hurt me?” Tay asks spinning around to face him directly. “When did you ask her Ryan?”
He freezes and stares back at her in stunned silence.
“When?” she shouts at him.
He closes his eyes and turns his head. “This morning….”
Tay stands as stone faced as she can before her chin quivers. “You asked her this morning and then knew you would be coming here tonight? Did you even care that you were going to break my heart?” She asks, her voice thick as tears roll out.
“Tay, please,” Ryan says taking a step towards her. “I didn’t plan to. I didn’t intend to hurt you.”
“Does she know about me?” Tay frowns and wipes at her eyes.
Ryan shakes his head no.
“Of course she doesn’t, stupid question. NO ONE knows about me,” she shouts. “So now you’ve got exactly what you want Ryan. You’ve got the girl you think you should be out with on your arm and you don’t have to keep your secret hidden away like some leper. Admit it. She’s the type you want to be seen with and you were scared to death of what your friends and everyone else would think if they saw Ryan Hawkins with me! Admit it!” She all but screams at him.
“I didn’t think they’d understand…” Ryan says softly. His jaw clenches and he looks down.
Tay feels like she’s been hit in the chest. The pain of what he has done is almost too much to bear but hearing that he was worried what others would think of them as a couple hurts even more.
“You asshole,” she says through clinched teeth.
He looks up at her, shaking his head no, his eyes pleading. “Tay, I swear I-“
“You kept talking about how you’ve changed! You haven’t changed at all! You are the same asshole you have been since the beginning of school! This is exactly why I never wanted to get involved with you! You are selfish and cruel and you only care about yourself!” The words tumble from Tay’s mouth as she shouts, her face twisted in pain.
“I care about you,” he says, his voice already begging her for forgiveness. “I do.”
“But not enough for anyone to ever know?” She asks, tears dropping from her cheeks and hitting her shirt.
Ryan opens his mouth to speak but can’t.
“When you started seeing me, did you still want her?” she asks.
Ryan faces her, trying to be as honest as he can to be fair to her.
“Yes,” he says. “But-“
Tay reaches for a wrench on the work table she is standing next to and lobs it towards him. Ryan lifts his arms above his head and jumps to dodge it just before it crashes into the sheet rock of the wall just next to him. It leaves a divot in the wall. He cowers and then stands up straight, bewildered by what she has done.
“Get out!” She says. She walks over to the garage door button and slams her palm against it. “I knew you would do this! I knew it! That’s why I didn’t want to get close to you! That’s why I didn’t want to hang out with you! I knew you would just break my heart and screw me over in the end, because that’s who you are Ryan!
“Tay, please, let’s talk. I don’t want to end things this way,” he shakes his head. As the door lifts, the pouring rain outside rushes off the gutters and splatters on the driveway.
“Get out Ryan! Get out now! Don’t ever fucking talk to me ever again! That should be easy for you to do considering you barely ever said a word to me at school anyways!”
“Tay-“
“GET OUT!” She screams and grabs her hair, throwing her hands forward.
He takes a deep breath, his own eyes watering, and backs out of the garage. He is barely outside, standing in the rain when she hits the button to lower the garage door back down and rushes inside her house sobbing.