Disclaimer: The following is a prequel to Choices The Freshman and The Sophomore stories. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Jo, Kyle or Nicole. All of the characters, story line and events were originally developed by me, some areas in part with @maxattack-powell, in conjuction to her adaptation of The Freshman.
Author’s Note: Contains adult situations and language.
Chapter 22 (Part 2): Always in My Heart
“Thanks for letting me be the tricycle tonight you guys,” Chris says as Ethan stops the truck in front of the Powell home.
“You weren’t a third wheel, Chris,” Maya chuckles looking over her shoulder. “I’ve had fun. Really it was a good time hanging with you too.”
“What are you going to do with that crown?” Ethan asks turning to look at his friend in the backseat and pointing to the object on his head.
Chris laughs. “Ayuh…I don’t know. I’ll probably let Kyle have it or…my mom will find something to do with it. I’d like to think this isn’t the highlight of my entire life and I didn’t just peak in high school,” he smirks.
Ethan and Maya laugh.
Chris scoots over in the seat and reaches over to pull the lever for the door. Maya helps to open it for him as he climbs out.
“Ms. Maya, I will see you at school on Monday. Ethan, holler at me tomorrow,” Chris says standing next to the open truck door.
“Will do,” Ethan nods, “and congratulations again.”
“G’night Chris,” Maya says.
Chris smiles and Maya waves at him as he closes the door and sprints up the steps to the front door. He pulls out his keys and seconds later, gives a final wave before heading inside. Ethan and Maya watch as the door closes.
Ethan looks at the clock on his dashboard. It’s just after midnight. A crescent moon provides a sliver of white light over Cherryfield and the sky above is clear and dotted with the twinkle of hundreds of stars. He gives a quick glance over to his date in the seat next to him. Maya’s lips turn up in a half-smile, her eyes heavy with suggestion.
“Do you want me to take you home now?” Ethan offers politely.
“Eh, nah,” Maya shakes her head, pursing her lips. “It’s still early.”
“Okay…” Ethan gives a nervous laugh. “Then what would you like to do?”
“We could…I don’t know…maybe head to Tunk Mountain?” Maya says as if she hadn’t already entertained the idea at length mentally. Ethan turns to look directly at her as a playful smile stretches her lips. “Just a thought,” she says casually.
“Um…yeah, okay. We can talk…it’s nice up there,” he nods in agreement but there is apprehension weaved into his tone.
“Great,” she says happily and her smile widens.
Ethan pauses before he reaches up and shifts the gear of his old truck to D. Maya leans back comfortably in the seat as they lurch forward and pull out on to the highway.
“So, I didn’t say anything when Chris was in here but…I walked in on Nicole trying to charge up Morgan in the bathroom,” Maya sighs.
“Really?” Ethan frowns. “What happened?”
“Not too much. Nicole just being pissy, mad she didn’t win queen and Morgan did. She can be so vindictive,” Maya sighs.
“I wondered what she must have been thinking when that went down,” Ethan says. “Sounds typical that she would blame Morgan for something she obviously had no idea would happen. Did it get heated?”
“Actually, Morgan kind of shut it down pretty quick,” Maya laughs. “I was surprised. She has always been so sheepish but she held her own in there.”
“I think everything she’s gone through this year has made her a little stronger,” Ethan says. “Not confrontational but, she’s definitely not the Morgan she was at the beginning of the year. Hate to give Nicole credit for anything, but, we could for that.”
“I feel silly for sticking by her in all of this. It’s like I told Morgan earlier,” she pauses and licks her lips, “talking to you on the phone the last couple of weeks, getting ready for tonight, I’ve really enjoyed it Ethan. It reminded me of how much I missed the old gang. You, me, Ryan, Chris, Morgan, we had fun together all these years and then Nicole ruined it all.”
“I hate that things went down the way they did but, I’ve thought a lot about how things have changed,” Ethan says as he continues down the highway at the speed limit, “it really is better it happened now than later. If Nicole had broken up with Chris while they were in college and we were all separated, I think it would have been way worse for him.”
“I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way but yeah, you’re right,” Maya says. She stares out the front truck window as they glide past a sea of evergreens and up a steadily growing incline towards one of the recreational areas of Tunk Mountain. “You’ve been a really good friend to Chris, you know that?” Maya grins and glances over at him.
“I try to be. I try to be good to everyone and fair but especially when it’s my friends,” Ethan shrugs. “I just think that’s what everybody should do really.”
“Not too many people are like you Ethan, trust me on that,” Maya chuckles lightly, smiling to herself as she turns her head and looks up at the stars overhead.
Ethan reflects on her words silently for several minutes. It’s almost a 20 minute drive to the mountain and the sound of rubber cycling over asphalt lulls them into a pensive mood.
After several more minutes of silence, Ethan breaks Maya’s train of thought with his voice.
“Do you want to listen to some music?” he says, thinking of anything he can to combat the hush in the car.
“Yeah,” Maya turns and smiles over her shoulder. “Whatcha got?”
“Well, don’t laugh…this truck is pretty old so…I’ve got a few of my dad’s old cassettes we can listen to,” his face colors red slightly.
Maya looks at the dash and for the first time notices the old cassette player slot and the large buttons protruding below it. “Vintage,” she nods. “I dig it!”
“Uh…kind of the standards as far as music selections in here,” Ethan says reaching down and pulling out the large ashtray he uses for storage. A few cassettes are inside. “I think I’ve got the Beatles, Eagles, Beach Boys….Before you say anything, yes, I know. I’m the oldest 18-year-old on the face of the planet,” he says pulling at the back of his neck.
Maya laughs and digs through the stack of cassettes.
“My grandmother had a saying about old souls…” Maya says as she retrieves one of the cassette cases and opens it.
“What’s that?” Ethan asks.
“The reason old souls enjoy spending time alone, is because they never really are,” Maya quotes. She pulls out a white cassette and turns it a few times before figuring out the direction it should go and pushes it into the cassette slot. There are several loud clicks and the speakers crackle before the melodic voice of Glenn Frey begins Peaceful Easy Feeling.
“Huh….” Ethan nods. “I guess that’s true. I’m always pretty comfortable being on my own. I mean…I know I’m usually with Ryan and Chris but…I’m just as comfortable being with them as I am all by myself sometimes. Those times are rare with my brothers at home.”
“I wish I knew how to do that,” Maya says watching the trees pass.
“Do what?” Ethan questions.
“Be able to be by myself, spend time alone,” She shakes her head. “I don’t like time to just myself really. If I have free time, I usually call Nicole or…someone to just hangout or do whatever….” She says vaguely. She thinks about some of her less than romantic encounters and sighs.
Ethan grips the steering wheel. Something in her tone lets him know this is a difficult topic for her.
The Eagles play to them as they finally reach their destination. Ethan pulls the truck into a parking space, the brakes squealing as gravel shifts and pops under the tires before he comes to a complete stop.
Now parked and no longer on the go, Ethan becomes jittery. Maya is a beautiful girl, he’s always thought so. But he’s never parked with a girl before and most certainly isn’t aware of what she might be thinking will happen between them that night.
He cuts the lights and they are engulfed in a serene darkness, the glow of the moon acting as a night light inside the cab.
“We’re here,” he announces and shifts in his seat. He takes a big breath in and clears his throat. Maya picks up on his anxiousness and turns her face away as she smiles.
“It’s so pretty here,” she says.
“It is,” he nods, tucking his lips. With his index finger, he scratches at the place behind his ear and blows out another breath.
“I’ve wondered about trying to live in some place other than Cherryfield,” Maya says, making conversation to ease Ethan’s nerves.
“Yeah?” he says slightly hoarse. He clears his throat again.
“Yeah,” she nods. She reaches at her hip and presses the button on the seat belt buckle. It pops the metallic clip inside loose, and she slips out of it, freeing herself as it whirls back into place. Ethan notices every movement she makes but keeps his eyes trained to the scenic view in front of them. From their parked spot, they can see the summit of Tunk Mountain and the zig zag of pine trees and cedars as they slope down to Tunk Lake below.
“I’ve tried to picture it. Maybe living in a big city like New York or…. D.C. or Los Angeles like Nicole,” Maya shrugs. “But…I can’t ever really see it. It’s like I can picture visiting but not staying. My life is here. I’ll never…I’ll never be more than what Cherryfield has in store for me,” she shrugs.
Ethan’s eyes narrow at the sudden hopelessness in the words she has spoken. “Maya you can get out of here. Really, you can go do anything you want to do. Just because you are Ms. Cherryfield, doesn’t mean you are tied here forever. You’ve got so much charm and personality, you can make it anywhere.”
She shrugs. “I’m just a pageant girl in a small town Ethan. That’s all I’m ever going to be: The former Ms. Cherryfield and runner-up for Ms. Teen Maine. That’s me. When I’m 40 people will still point and say ‘There’s Maya Braxton, she was Ms. Cherryfield once,’” she examines her acrylic nail and shakes her head.
“Maya….” Ethan breathes out. He turns, still buckled in his seat belt, and looks towards her. Her hair has fallen forward and he can’t see much of her face but he feels the despair radiating from her.
“It’s cool,” she shrugs. “It is what it is. The good thing though, is that you and Chris and Ryan are getting out of here. You guys have got a chance to really make your dreams come true,” she says and lifts her head to face him. She brushes her hair back from her face with the back of her hand.
“You can do the same….” Ethan tries to encourage.
“I’m glad someone around here believes in me,” she laughs lightly. “But then again that’s just you Ethan,” her gaze tracks to meet his. Her brown eyes are almost black in the darkness of night and with the plans she has for him. She peers back at him from under her long lashes. There is mischief in the smirk that appears. She slides over on the seat and Ethan’s back straightens. “I think you’re an amazing guy,” she says in a low, husky voice.
She reaches over and puts her hand on top of his as she eases next to him. Ethan glances away briefly but his eyes return to hers. She is staring at his lips now and she leans forward closing her eyes. Ethan’s shut on instinct and he flinches slightly when her lips graze gently against his.
Maya pulls back after the soft kiss, studying Ethan. His eyes are still closed but slowly his eye lids flutter open and he looks back into her sultry gaze.
“I’ve had an amazing time with you tonight,” she says and coyly glances down. Over the speakers, The Eagles’ Victim of Love begins to play. She presses the button on his seat belt buckle and it pops free. She moves if off of Ethan and then runs a hand up over his chest.
Ethan holds his breath. He sits frozen in a mixture of fear and excitement. He wants to kiss her again but worries what will follow. He’s only ever initiated a kiss once before, with Sarah, the red-head he met on spring break. Maya knew if anything was going to happen with him, she would have to be the one to make it happen, just as she had done in asking him to prom.
Her hand tightens around the lapel of his jacket as she pulls him forward slightly, bringing his face closer to hers as she kisses him again.
Timidly Ethan reaches out his hands and grips her waist, as their breaths mingle. With his lips parted, Maya slips her tongue into his mouth, meeting his with a gentle massage. Ethan groans slightly and she reaches up, sliding both hands over his chest and neck, entwining her fingers with the short, soft hair on the back of his head. Pulling his mouth harder against hers, the wetness of the deep kiss sends a warm tingle through both of them.
Maya breaks the kiss, pressing her forehead to his. They both regain their breath, but the respite is brief. Ethan is about to speak when Maya crushes her lips hard against his again. His hands still on her hips, he feels her moving and she suddenly shifts from the seat into his lap. She straddles his waist, her back against the steering wheel, undulating her hips against him as she grips his hair again, pulling his mouth into hers.
Ethan lifts his hands but drops them. He had been okay with their kissing, enjoying the feel of her mouth against his. But this was exactly what he feared.
“Maya,” he tries to say in between kisses.
The sound of her heavy panting echoes within the cab of the truck. Ethan sits underneath her, his hands placed at his sides she grinds down against him.
“Maya,” Ethan tries to repeat but it is muffled when her mouth meets his.
“Maya!” Ethan says forcefully. He shakes his head away to break his mouth from hers. Her chest heaving, hard breaths escaping her lips, she looks into his eyes. They are crinkled at the corners in frustration.
“Let’s slow down,” Ethan says nodding as he looks at her, hoping for compliance. He feels a stirring in his pants, a hardening that he is normally able to control. With the dark haired beauty grinding against his waist, he struggles to control the physical response.
“Oh Ethan,” she laughs a little. “It’s okay,” she nods and reaches up and touches his cheek. She leans forward and kisses his lips again before wriggling her tongue over his lips into his mouth again. She pulls back again, sitting down comfortably on his lap and reaches up behind herself.
Ethan watches in terrified shock as she begins to drag her zipper down as best she can on her own. She attempts to drag it down further when Ethan grabs her arm and looks away from her, stopping her.
“Ethan…really, it’s okay. It’s prom night,” she repeats. His face is flushed and red, her lipstick smeared all over his face, but his head is turned away from her.
“But it’s not okay with me,” he says shaking his head, looking out the side window rather than at her.
Maya’s face twists into a pained frown and she lets out a dumbfounded gasp. “Seriously?”
Ethan only nods, still not looking at her.
Riddled with shame, she scrambles off of Ethan’s lap and returns to her seat in the truck. She slides as far away as her body will allow her up against the passenger side door.
They both are speechless as Maya reaches behind her and yanks the zipper up. She sits, soaking in the embarrassment she feels, drenched in self-loathing.
“Maya…” Ethan begins running a hand over his face. He licks his lips and tastes her lipstick.
“What?” She says shaking her head. She runs her fingers through her hair, leaning an elbow on the arm rest of the door, sitting her chin on top of it, her face turned away from him.
“I think you are beautiful, “Ethan begins, struggling to articulate his thoughts, his body still reeling from the contact with her. “You are a lot of fun to be around-“
She snorts at his statement, rolling her eyes. “But?”
“This was just our first date together,” Ethan looks over at her.
“What’s your point?” Maya retorts solemnly, still not making eye contact with him.
Ethan studies her. He can see evidence of pain in her slumped shoulders. Her reflection can be seen in the glass of his truck, reflecting in the moonlight. Her eyes are closed.
“I don’t have a lot of experience with girls,” Ethan says to the back of her head. “But, even if I did…I’d want to take things slow on a first date,” he says trying to soothe her dismay.
“Why? If it’s what I wanted?” She slowly turns and looks at him.
“Is it really?” He asks with lifted brows.
“Well…yeah, I mean, I like you Ethan. I…I thought I was showing you just how much,” she shrugs and folds her hands in her lap, her eyes cast downward.
“I’m pretty green at this but…I know there are other ways to show someone you have feelings for them….” Ethan breathes out.
She pauses and when she finally does speak, her voice cracks. “I don’t….”
Ethan looks directly at her and when she turns her face towards his, her eyes are brimming with tears. She shrugs. “It’s what I know Ethan…..” Ethan’s head jerks back and then he understands. Her eyes dance with anxiety, as she realizes she has spoken more than she intended. She looks away from him.
“You think all guys expect you to-“
“Don’t they?” Maya interrupts and looks Ethan up and down before turning away again.
“Not all of them. Not me,” he says and reaches over, putting his hand on top of hers.
Her head slowly pivots towards him. Her stare is unrelenting before her lip trembles and she turns away from him, pulling her hand free.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “I should have known better with you. I’m sorry, I feel like an idiot. Please don’t be mad at me?” she looks back up at him, her eyes pleading.
“Mad?” he asks bewildered. “Of course I’m not mad at you! Maya, I’m really happy you wanted to go to prom with me and I am even flattered you wanted to kiss me just now….But you need to know that I respect you too.”
Maya scoffs. “Wow. Yeah, okay Ethan.”
“Why is that hard to believe?” Ethan’s eyes narrow. She falls silent, picking at the cuticle on her thumb and focusing on her hands for a long time. “Maya?” he asks calmly again.
“I learned pretty early in life why I exist,” she shakes her head. “This is all that I am Ethan,” she lifts her head, tears streaming from her eyes as her voice grows thick with the sobs she fights away. She waves a hand in the direction of her face. “This is all I’ve ever been since I was a little girl. How I looked, how I wore my hair and my makeup. My mom wanted me to be a real life doll. So she put me in all those fucking pageants and I swear to god Ethan, I hate it so much, but it made her happy so I did it.”
“I had no idea. I thought you enjoyed it,” Ethan frowns.
“Just the oppositie. I always felt like if I didn’t look flawless, if I wasn’t wearing the perfect outfit, then I wasn’t good enough: Not good enough for my mom, my dad, the other girls at school, guys who claimed to like me. So I just smiled my way through everything even when I wanted to cry. Guys around here, that’s all they see and that’s all they think I care about or what matters to me. That I’m this vapid tramp. It started in the seventh grade…remember Jacob Esters? He was a year ahead of us?”
Ethan’s frown deepens as he nods, listening intently.
“I made out with him at a party, let him do some stuff I really wasn’t all that cool with but I thought hey, he’s into me so why not, right? Well, he told like every guy in the eighth grade and that’s when it started. I didn’t know what to do. I was hurt that he spread it around but then all these guys started asking me out and…at the time I thought it was what I wanted to be popular, you know?” she sniffles.
“So then Nicole finally starts talking to me too, asks me to sit with her and the girls at lunch and I’m suddenly hanging out with her and have all these news friends. Then Ryan Hawkins starts paying attention to me too,” she shakes her head. “You know how girls are about Ryan.”
Ethan and Ryan were friends in middle school, both already playing for Cherryfield’s 7th and 8th grade athletic squads. Their brotherhood was not forged until freshman year of high school but they were close enough in middle school they sat at the same lunch table. Ethan thinks back on those years and recalls the sudden appearance of Maya at their table. It all begins to make sense and he lets out a heavy sigh.
“So, by the time I got to freshman year, it was all anybody thought about me and I just rolled with it. People think I’m a slut and I get it. I would too,” she closes her eyes.
Ethan shakes his head no. “You are a lot more than what anyone thinks of you? You hear me?”
She shrugs again.
“Maya guys that care about you they don’t make you feel bad about yourself or make you cry,” Ethan says gesturing with his hands. The passion when he speaks grows with each word. “They don’t leave you wondering if they even give a crap about you. They don’t talk up what they did with you to other dudes. That’s not a relationship, that’s not anything more than a hook up. The girl I’ve gotten to know the last few weeks deserves a hell of a lot more than that. You don’t have to settle for being treated that way. Real love…something special and upfront and honest….it could pass you right by if you keep going out with jerks.”
“I know it but I…I don’t know how to be alone Ethan,” she shakes her head, wiping at her face with her wrist. “It’s like I said earlier.”
He takes a slow deep breath and leans his head back against the seat. He thinks for a long time, trying to think of something to say to help her. Thinking over what she has trusted him with, what she confided to him, a thought strikes him. He knows as soon as it comes to him that there is no possible way, but still asks cautiously.
“Wait….The guys that were jerks. Was Ryan…was he ever one of them?” he asks, sure in his heart he already knows the truth.
“No, not at all,” Maya says through her tears. Ethan exhales and nods. “Ryan was actually really sweet about everything. I mean, yeah we….we hooked up a lot, but he never like tried to take advantage of situations and he never talked it up to anyone. I think people just knew because we would be affectionate in front of people but….Ryan was actually pretty sweet about all of it, neither of us wanted it to go any further and I was okay with that. We were kind of like kindred spirits I guess.”
“What is it you want for yourself? Ethan asks.
“Huh?” She frowns and looks at him.
“What is it you want, Maya? A couple of weeks ago, on the phone one night, you were telling me you thought about going into cosmetology and having your own beauty shop, remember that? You didn’t sound like some airhead, Barbie doll that just wanted to play dress up with people. You sounded like a girl who wanted to make people feel and look their best and you had dreams of owning your own business. When I heard you talk about it, you sounded so happy, so genuine. That was the moment I felt like I could really relate to you for the first time and you want to know something?” he asks her.
“What?” She asks running her finger under her eyelids and flicking away tears.
“I can totally see that,” Ethan smiles some. “You with your own shop, doing hair and helping out some of the ladies of Cherryfield who are struggling. Never seen so many blue-hairs in my life,” he laughs and she chuckles. “Is that what you want?”
She nods. “It is. I think I’d be really good at it. Plus beauty shops are basically therapy offices for relationship advice, lord knows I got some things to say,” she laughs through her tears.
“Maya, take that scholarship money you mentioned, go to cosmetology school and make it happen. When you do…I’ll be your first haircut,” he offers with a grin.
Maya looks up at him. “You sure you want to trust me with that? I love your red hair so much. I’d hate to destroy it,” She giggles.
“If it all goes bad…I always wanted to try a buzz cut,” he shrugs. “Pretty much no way to screw that up.”
Maya laughs and stares back at him smiling. Mascara has run from under her eyes and black smears are on her cheeks. Ethan leans over and opens the glove box. She moves her legs out of the way as he grabs a few napkins and closes up the box. He hands them to her.
She takes them from him and wipes her eyes and blows her nose.
“Ethan, thank you…I….I really have liked you for a while. I hope this didn’t ruin everything with you. I just think…you are this amazing guy and you have no clue how awesome you are. Tonight, you just proved me right,” she says looking back at him. “Thank you. I’ll take what you said to heart and remember it forever.”
Ethan smiles bashfully. “I just want you to see that you are beautiful, inside and out. I for one can’t wait to see what you do next.”
“Ugh. Ethan Clark,” she groans and dabs under her eyes again.
“What?” he asks worried he has offended her.
“You’re just so easy to fall in love with that’s all,” she says and nods at him.
He blinks and blushes.
“Let’s get you home,” he says softly.
***
An hour earlier, three miles below, at the base of the mountain, a black Bronco approached a modest home on the shore of Tunk Lake.
Morgan sat up straight in her seat, looking about as Ryan parked near the front door of the home. A single light was on inside. Ryan eyed Morgan, curious to her reaction of being there. When they left prom, he simply told her he had some place he wanted to take her and that he had spoken to her dad about it and they had his approval. They chatted about the events of prom as they drove to Ryan’s pre-planned destination. A mix of his favorite R&B songs serenaded them as they made their way to the lake.
Ryan hopped out of the Bronco and hurried around it, opening Morgan’s door and giving her his hand to help her make the leap down to the ground. She retrieved her clutch from the seat and Ryan grabbed a duffle bag from the back before he took her hand and led her towards the front door. A motion light flickered on above the door greeting their arrival. He fished for the door key on the ring, taking a minute to locate the correct one. As Morgan waited, she looked out over the lake just a few feet in front of them. The water lapped lazily at the shore, swashing back and forth. The moon reflected on the ripples of the water’s surface. There was a slight chill in the air but the night is still and quiet.
Ryan unlocked the door, opening it for her and ushering her inside. Morgan stepped into the two room lake house and looked around.
“Welcome to Chateaux Hawkins,” Ryan smiled.
Morgan grinned at him, scanning the room. The furniture was old but the place was meticulously clean. The large room included a small kitchen area with an oven range and a sink, a bistro table for dinning, a relic of a sofa from the 70’s, a recliner, and over against a wall, a full sized bed with an hand-carved wooden headboard. It was decorated with a thick, handmade quilt. A door is opened to a bathroom area near the bed. A lamp on the night stand provides their light.
“This is my grandpa’s place,” Ryan answered her silent question as he watched her survey the room. “My mom and I asked if tonight I could use it and he said yes…” Ryan laughs a little to himself as he recalls the conversation with his Pop Pop.
“Are you in love with this girl?” Paul Hawkins had asked during Lisa and Ryan’s visit to her parent’s home in Milbridge.
“Aw, Pop Pop, I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged bashfully.
“But she’s special to you?” His grandfather asked, leaning forward in his recliner. The 64-year-old, silver haired man and Ryan bore an uncanny resemblance. Even at his age, his hair was still thick though the raven color, like Ryan’s, had faded years ago. His eyes were crystal blue like his grandson’s and though wrinkles had settled all over his facial features and hands decades before, he was still a very handsome older man.
Ryan glanced at Lisa who was smiling at him from the kitchen with her mother. He only nodded at his grandfather.
“Then you make it memorable,” Grandpa Hawkins said. “My first date with your grandmother, we went out together, didn’t say our goodbye’s till the next morning after coffee. Been together ever since,” he smiled.
“We stayed up the whole night talking,” Evelyn Hawkins chimed in from the kitchen. “Nothing improper!”
“I might have stolen a kiss or two, no harm in that,” Paul winked at his grandson and Ryan laughed a little. “Be good to this girl, be a gentleman first and always. Compliment her, tell her how beautiful she looks, make her feel like she’s the only thing in the world that has your attention,” he advised.
Ryan stares at Morgan now remembering his grandfather’s words.
“Is this okay?” he asks her. “I mean, if you aren’t comfortable being here…you know, alone here tonight, then I can take you home Morgan,” he says. “I really just wanted us to have somewhere private we could go without running into every single person from school. The Lobster Shack would be packed and so would the café. Alicia Ritter was having an after party but… I thought here, we could really talk and hang out uninterrupted. That’s all, I swear,” he says honestly staring into her eyes.
She smirks. “It’s okay. I like it here,” she nods.
Ryan grins and feels relieved. He sits the duffle bag down by the sofa. “Come here, I’ve got something to show you,” he says reaching his hand out. She takes his and he guides her through a screen door to the deck outside. It stretches out over the rocky shore and over the water. Morgan smiles at the view. Ryan reaches up and flicks a switch.
Suddenly the deck comes to life with the twinkle of white Christmas lights. They are strung from the tops of lamps around the deck and swirled around the fence and railing.
“Ryan….” Morgan breathes out. “You did this?”
“I had a little help,” he grins. “You like it?”
She steps forward letting go of his hand as she walks around the deck and looks at the sparkling lights. A picnic style table on the deck is covered with a white cloth and there are two red coolers next to it. An arrangement of pink and white roses is on the center of the table.
“I love it,” she says spinning to face him. She smiles brightly. “This is really sweet, thank you. I can’t believe you went through all of this trouble.”
“That’s not all Ms. Price,” Ryan winks. “Here at Chateaux Hawkins we have selected nothing but the finest for your drinking and dining pleasure this evening.” Ryan opens one of the coolers. “We have…M&M’s,” he says holding up a massive bag and Morgan giggles. “We have popcorn!” he pulls out another bag and holds it up. “We have….oh would you look at that, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos!” He holds up the family sized bag and Morgan squeals with delight.
“You remembered?”
“I only watched you eat them like every day at lunch for about three weeks straight….You know, I didn’t want to say anything Morgan, but you may have a problem,” he nods with his eyebrows lifted.
Morgan laughs out. “Admitting it is the first step in recovery they say….”
“True,” he replies and places the bag of chips on the table. He opens the second color and it contains some drinks on ice. “We also have, Sprite, Dr. Pepper and…” he lifts up a bottle of sparkling white grape juice. “This, cause we fancy.”
Morgan laughs harder and shakes her head smiling. “I can’t believe you went through all this trouble. This is awesome Ryan,” she says, her pearly teeth revealed.
“For you?” He smiles in return. “Anything.”
They pause, smiling back at each other, their eyes silently taking in the appearance of the other.
“Let’s say we crack open this bag of Flamin’ Hots,” he smirks.
“Don’t have to ask me twice,” she says sitting down at the table. Ryan reaches into the cooler and grabs some plastic cups. He twists open the top of the sparkling grape juice and pours her some. She sips it as he sits down across from her, taking off the jacket on his tux. He pours himself a cup and then raises it.
“A toast,” he says.
Morgan lifts her cup.
“A toast to…the future. Hoping that both our dreams come true,” Ryan says tapping his cup against Morgan’s.
“Mine already are,” she says looking into Ryan’s eyes as she takes a sip. A pleased smile stretches on his lips.
“We’re really going to stay here all night?” she asks. Her father had told her she had no curfew and that he had talked to Ryan and it was okay. Those vague details didn’t give her much insight into what the night would hold.
“If you want….” Ryan says eyeing her. “We can go back at any time.”
She thinks for a minute, looking down at the table and then lifts her eyes back to his smiling. “Okay.”
“You’ve had a good time tonight though?” Ryan asks her.
“I’ve had the absolute best time,” she nods. “This has been amazing and it’s all because of you.”
Ryan looks up at the crown on her head. “How you feeling about that?” he says nodding his head towards it.
“I don’t understand what happened. Like, why would people all of a sudden write my name in?” She frowns. “They had already voted on the finalists, so…where did my name even come from out of the blue like that? Seems strange.”
“Maybe they just thought you were more deserving,” he shrugs and chews his lip.
“It was a shock and a surprise but…really pretty cool too,” she laughs. She reaches up and gingerly removes the teeth of the crown from her hair and places it on the table beside her.
She looks out over the lake and up at the starry sky above. Serenity washes over her face. She takes off her heels and stands up. Ryan watches as she walks out to the edge of the deck. She peers down into the black of the night time waters, watching as the water tickles the support beams of the dock below. She sits on the edge, carefully lifting her dress and dips her feet into the water.
“Shit that’s cold!” She yelps and Ryan explodes with laughter. He gets up from the table and walks towards her. He takes off his socks and shoes, Morgan giving him an amused smile as he sits beside her.
“You put your feet in at your own risk,” she warns.
“This water is always pretty cold,” Ryan says. “Spent a lot of time out here when I was a kid during the summer. You get used to it,” he smiles and puts his feet in besides hers.
Her feet in the 50 degree water and with the occasional caress of the wind on her exposed back and shoulders, Morgan shudders slightly. Ryan’s eyes drift over to her as she sways her feet in the water, looking up at the stars above them.
He reaches out but drops his arm. Reconsidering, he slides it around her shoulders. She leans in to him as he scoots closer to her. She rests the side of her head on his shoulder.
“I’m really happy to be with you tonight,” she says after some time.
“Me too….” She feels him nod as he lays his cheek against her head. He reaches over with his other hand, taking hers in his and plays with her fingers.
Ryan rubs her shoulder, warming her as she sinks into his body heat. He hears her exhale as her body melts into a comfortable fit against his.
The hand playing with her fingers lets go, rising towards her face as he lifts his head. He places it under her chin, lifting her face as he turns towards her. Morgan’s body surges with electricity in anticipation. Her lips part and her breath is shallow. Ryan breathes out and she feels the warmth of his breath brush her cheek. He gulps, an ache and yearning in his core. The world around them falls away and all Ryan wants is to satisfy the craving he has felt for years.
“Ryan…” She whispers, her voice pleading with him to fulfill their desire.
His lips brush against hers, so faint at first, Morgan isn’t sure it is happening. There is another sweep of his warm lips against her pillowy mouth, and Morgan trembles at the sensation. He does not pull away, his lips lingering against hers, trying to restrain the wantonness in his body. He feels tormented by the need for more of her.
Ryan presses his lips into hers again, this time, no longer teasing, but intense and demanding. Morgan eagerly responds, reaching her hand up to caress the side of his face as he holds her. His arm slides down her back and he runs his fingertips over the bare skin of her exposed back.
A throaty groan is muffled by his mouth. His tongue presses against the seam of her lips, seeping inside and finding hers. The sweet grape juice flavors the taste of each other. Morgan reaches up with both hands, her fingers tangling behind his neck, pulling him into her more.
“Mmm,” Ryan moans into the kiss.
They break, panting hard, before his mouth smashes against hers again. Morgan’s fingers snake into his thick hair, tugging gently. Both of his hands now cradle her back, pulling her chest against his.
Winded, he moves his mouth from hers, nuzzling his lips against her ear, then places searing kisses down along her neck and across her shoulder. Her head tosses back and she moans, licking her lips.
“Ryan….” She moans. She forgets the cold of the water their feet still dangle in. Their bodies are on fire and the icy cold is the only thing keeping them from combustion.
He leans her back, slowly bracing a hand on the deck, gently easing her back down to rest on the wood. She lifts her feet out of the water, bending her knees and placing her wet feet flat on the deck. Water trickles onto the bottom of her gown but she gives it no thought.
Ryan lifts his own feet from the water, resting his body beside hers as he returns his lips to her mouth. She reaches up, her hair in his hands again as their lips meld together. Ryan places a timid hand on her stomach, running his hand over the beaded material, inching slowly towards the top of her dresse and the arch of her breasts over the material. His fingertips flutter over the tops and her back arches.
She does not protest, only meeting his deep kiss with a tenacity that surprises them both. Ryan feels the tingling cascade through his belly down to his groin. Part of him comes to life, turned on by the feel, touch and taste of her. The promise he made to her, his mother, his grandparents and her father comes to mind.
Spent from the intensity of their kissing, he reluctantly breaks away. Morgan rests her head against the deck, Ryan, presses his forehead to hers.
They both gasp to steady their breathing, feeling as if they have just completed a marathon.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asks looking into her eyes. She nods slightly, moving his head with her own as she does.
“Yeah…” she breathes out.
“I’ve never…I’ve never felt that before Morgan,” he says reaching up and brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek.
She lets out an astonished chuckle. “Me either….Wow.” She bites her lip as she looks up at him, unable to tame the smile that comes.
Ryan chuckles with joy and smiles back at her.
“My feet are cold….” He says and she cracks up.
“Oh my god, seriously, mine feel like ice blocks,” they laugh. He sits up, rising to his knees and then his feet. He reaches out both hands, bending down and helps her to stand. He grabs his socks and shoes with one hand, takes hers with his other and they pad barefoot back inside the house.
“I didn’t tell you to pack a bag,” he sits down his socks and shoes. “I didn’t want to ruin the surprise so….If you want to change, you can borrow some of my stuff,” he says throwing his head towards the bag on the floor.
“Thank you….” She says. He walks over to it and pulls out a large t-shirt, a pair of socks and some basketball shorts.
“I have no idea if any of this will fit,” he says looking at her, then back to the items in his hands.
She laughs, “It’s cool.” She takes them from him and turns her back to him.
“Do you mind unlatching it for me?” She asks of the dress.
He nods and lifts nimble, skilled fingers to the latch on the dress, and tugs the zipper down enough for her to reach. Ryan feels the stirring inside him again as he looks at her smooth skin. She smiles back at him over her shoulder, thanks him and then heads to the bathroom. Ryan changes out of the rest of his tux while he waits, leaving the white under tank he is wearing on and slides on a pair of sweat pants.
Minutes later, Morgan emerges from the bathroom, swimming in Ryan’s Cherryfield High football t-shirt and wearing a pair of his socks. The heels of the socks are pulled up to her calf, a small bump in the fabric indicating the odd fit. She is gripping the basketball shorts he gave her around the waist to hold them up, despite having pulled the drawstring as tightly as she could. He looks at her and can’t help but to laugh.
“Pants are a little big,” she says.
“I see that,” he grins.
“If it’s…okay with you….I just would rather wear the shirt,” she chews her lip.
“Uh, yeah, if you’re comfortable, fine with me,” he nods and clears his throat.
She lets go of the shorts and they drop to the floor. Ryan watches as she steps out of them. Her long, toned legs stick out of the bottom of his shirt that stops at the middle of her thighs.
“I like this shirt,” she says.
“You can have it,” he grins.
“Really?” her voice lifts.
“Yeah, after seeing it on you, no way I look that good in it,” He winks.
She giggles and hands him the shorts, “Thanks.” He places them back in the bag, running his eyes over her thighs and legs before standing up.
They stand in the room, facing each other, unspoken words swirling in their heads. Morgan finally is the first to look towards the bed.
“I can sleep on the couch,” Ryan says immediately.
She turns back to him, frowning slightly. “Why?” She questions before giving him a devilish smirk.
He cocks an eyebrow. “Just want you to be comfortable with it,” he nods.
“My dad gave me permission to be out all night with you. This is our first date and I want to enjoy it to the fullest Hawkins.”
He laughs and nods. “Yes ma’am. Whatever you say.”
She walks over to the bed and eases on to it. The downy mattress is so comfortable she folds back into it, resting her head on a pillow and sighs loudly. Ryan smiles before walking over and lying beside her. She rolls over, laying her head on his muscular chest, hearing his heart thump quickly as she rests against him. She drapes her arm over his stomach.
“Technically not the first time we’ve slept together,” she says.
“No, you’re right,” he recalls. “This time under much better circumstances.
The memory of that day in November comes back to them vividly.
“Ryan…I know it probably wasn’t easy for you to pick hanging out with me tonight over your best friends…but, I wanted to thank you….” Morgan says nuzzling her cheek against his pec.
He scratches the top of his head and exhales. He bends his arm behind his head and rests against it, staring at the ceiling.
“Morgan…there’s….there’s so much I want to say to you,” he sighs. “But I don’t know if right now is the right time.”
“Because I’m leaving…?”
“Yeah…and…because of Chris,” he admits.
She lifts her head, putting her hand on his chest and resting her chin on it.
“I want you to understand that…when I asked if it would just be us….It wasn’t about that night with him,” she shakes her head. He looks from the ceiling down into her eyes and sees the sincerity in them. “I really did forgive Chris for what happened. I know he wasn’t himself then….I wanted to be alone with you tonight, so that I could feel comfortable with you just like this Ryan. You are his best friend…and whatever there was or wasn’t with Chris….I didn’t want the past to take anything away from my time with you. I….”
She licks her lips and frowns as she stops herself.
“You what…?” he asks.
“I just wish….this had happened between us sooner….”
Ryan groans and rubs his eyes. “You have no idea how much I regret fucking up with you. If I don’t choose to go upstairs with Maya at the party, I walk right in like I promised and talk to you, then maybe we are a couple right now and not just on a date. If I don’t walk upstairs with her…you don’t get hurt by Chris and none of that ever happens and his being around us isn’t even an issue. I made a stupid ass choice that screwed up everything with you.”
“You didn’t know what I was thinking,” she says. “You had no way of knowing after so many years of me blowing you off that…I was finally open to dating you. I could have given you a chance sooner. That’s on me.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “You were just going by what you thought you knew about me and I can’t blame you for that. I was that way then, chasing girls…bouncing around from one girl to the next. I saw you and I knew you were different. The more you rejected me, it’s crazy, the more I wanted you. You didn’t know me like you do now. You didn’t know what was in my heart and neither did anyone else. Except for Ethan….Ethan I swear is a wizard. Red hair and all. That’s why we call him Weasley,” Ryan jokes.
Morgan laughs. “Actually…Ethan was the one who told me you really liked me. That’s what made me take notice in a different way. But don’t tell him I told you that!”
“I’ll be damned….” Ryan says never having known it all started with Morgan’s conversation with Ethan. They are quiet again and she lays her head back down on his chest.
“Is being around Chris always going to be a problem?” Ryan asks flatly after some time.
“I don’t want it to be,” she whispers.
“Morgan, there’s something else,” Ryan says. He huffs. He thinks of Tay. He spent so much time with her, the growth of the attraction between them seemed normal. Especially when he never believed he would wind up in the present situation with the young lady at his side. He had given up on Morgan and given Tay a chance. But in the end, he had given up on Tay for a chance with Morgan.
“It’s just that…there was a time when…..” She sits up slightly. He looks into her eyes as she blinks expectantly. “Where I didn’t think this would ever happen and so…I started to see someone. It was brief but….I needed you to know.”
Morgan pauses, her eyes drifting away from his as she thinks. “Do I know her?”
“No,” he says, his voice hoarse. “I…really thought after…all that went down with you and Chris that any hope of me and you was over.”
“And…you ended it?”
He simply nods.
She looks back up into his face, seeing worry and distress in his furrowed brow. She nods slowly. “You tried to move on, that’s….that’s okay. I can’t fault you for that. It would have been unfair for me to keep you hanging on all this time.”
“I never stopped liking you,” he says. “That’s the thing. My feelings for you, through everything, they have always been there.”
“And now…we’re both about to head in different directions,” Morgan says.
Ryan looks down at her and reaches up. He touches her cheek with his thumb.
“I would be with you in a heartbeat if you said that’s what you wanted….” Ryan nods.
“Ryan, you know I would too. But…I don’t think now is the time for us. I’m leaving for New York City the day after graduation next week and I’ll be gone for a really long time. You are going to Louisville. God help those Kentucky girls when Ryan Hawkins steps onto campus. They won’t know what hit them,” Morgan chuckles.
Ryan laughs. “None of them will compare to you,” he says brushing his thumb across her lip.
“I don’t want you to miss out on college and enjoying your life there because I’m thousands of miles away from you. You deserve to be happy and…as selfish as I want to be and say you are mine, mine, mine, that isn’t fair to you. You should have the chance to live your life.”
“And I feel the same way about you. You are going to be all over the world, doing all sorts of amazing things. I don’t want you worried about me back in some dorm room.”
She nods and they stare into each other’s eyes. “I’m sad….” She says solemnly. “I am going to miss you so much.”
“Morgan,” he sighs sitting up some. He leans in and kisses her lips gently.
“What if, what if we cross paths in the future and…if neither of us is with anyone…if we are both still open to it-“ She begins.
“Hell yes,” Ryan smiles. “Absolutely. We make it happen. We just give ourselves time. It’s a big year ahead for us, a lot of stress too probably. If things change…they change. But if not….Morgan, you are my girl. No matter what, you are my girl.”
“Forever,” she smiles.
“Forever….” He grins.
She leans over and kisses him, letting their tongues dance for a moment before she pulls back. They smile at each other and Ryan reaches over and turns out the lamp. As darkness settles around them, he pulls the quilt up over them, holding her tight against him as they drift to sleep together.
READ CHAPTER 23: HAPPIER (THE FINALE)