Bastien kept a closer eye on Beth after he pulled her from her spiral, he tried to keep her closer, not leaving her alone for too long. He knew how it sounded, but he was so worried that this monster would make her take her life if he wasn’t careful. He couldn’t lose her, not to some sick monster with an evil plan. He needed to show her she was worth something, that she was desired, loved. Even if she could never feel the same way about him, he needed to ensure she was safe.
Beth wasn’t sure why, but she felt she could trust Bastien. Maybe it was the way he was always making sure she felt safe, or the way he was able to pull her from a place darker than she’d ever been. Whatever it was she felt safe and comfortable whenever Bastien was near, and incredibly alone and scared when he wasn’t. She felt like no one could hurt her when he was around, but when she was alone she struggled to keep the darkness at bay. She hated that she’d become so reliant on a man for her safety and wellbeing but maybe that’s what happens when a monster and his plan pull you into a dark place. When she felt the darkness start to pull her down she tried to picture Bastien, imagine he was near with his calming presence, gentle touch and kind words.
The more Beth relied on Bastien, the more she came to realize she missed him when he wasn’t there. The thought of needing him, missing him so much terrified her more than anything, she was still so broken, and who could want or love someone broken like her. She was scared she’d get hurt again if she let herself feel. She feared she would never be whole again and he would never want her broken shell of her former self. She worried she was reading too much into his kindness, that she was seeing something that wasn’t really there.
Beth tried to push her fears and dark thoughts away, tried to feel something, anything. She needed to feel human once again, being with him got her closer than she’d been in a very long time. Part of her wanted to cling to him and the other part wanted to push him away so she couldn’t get hurt when she wasn’t what he wanted. She lived in a state of internal battle. It was a classic battle between head and heart, and Beth didn’t know which to listen to.
Just when Beth thought she might be able to breathe again, that it couldn’t get any worse she learned her body betrayed her. She’d forever be linked to the monster who destroyed her or a man who no longer cared. She came to realize her life would never be her own again, she’d never be remotely the same, everything that had happened would become etched into her, changing her forever.
When Bastien found Beth she was sitting on her bed clutching a pillow to her chest, sobbing so hard she didn’t even hear him knock. His heart broke in two when he saw her so sad and broken. He rushed to her side, placing a comforting hand on her back.
“Beth, look at me, what’s wrong?” He asked, panic flowing through his veins that something horrible happened to her, again.
Beth let out another loud sob, gesturing toward the table, he spied the long plastic stick and he felt his heart sink to his stomach at the thought that she might be forever linked to that terrible event.
“I—don’t—know–if—it’s—his—or—Liam’s. Liam—doesn’t—even—talk—to—me—anymore.” She said between broken sobs.
His heart felt like it’d been ripped out and stomped on, she didn’t deserve any of this, “Beth, listen to me. I don’t care who’s baby you’re carrying. As far as I’m concerned it’s 100% you. This baby will grow up being loved because of his wonderful mother. I will love your baby because it’s a part of you Beth.” He said, realizing a second too late exactly what he just inadvertently confessed.
Beth’s head popped up and she stared at him, mouth agape, unblinking trying to understand the words he just spoke, “wh—what did you say?” She asked, certain she must of misheard him, there was no way he could have feelings for someone so broken.
“I said I will love your baby, the same as I love you Beth.” He confessed lifting her hand to his lips, softly kissing her palm as she stared in disbelief. “As for Liam, you don’t have to face him alone, if you want me to, I will be right here by your side the entire time. You’re not alone in this Beth, I promise you.”
“You can’t possibly mean that. I’m—I’m damaged, broken,” she croaked, her voice hoarse from crying, “how could you possibly want to be with me?”
“You’re not broken or damaged Beth, not to me.” He replied, gently caressing her cheek.
Beth just stared at him, she didn’t know what to say, how to respond. He couldn’t possibly mean it, right? Couldn’t he see exactly how broken she was, how everything that had happened had left her hollow and barely human? How could he possibly mean anything he said?
“Beth, please listen to me” Bastien pleaded, noticing the blank stare in her eyes. “You are a strong beautiful woman and you are worthy of receiving love, the love I’m offering you now.”
A silent tear rolled down Beth’s cheek at his words, she’d felt so broken since that night, even if she had worn a brave face for a short time, and he had a way of making her feel whole once again.
“Beth.” He said, gently wiping the tear from her cheek with his thumb, “I don’t expect you to reciprocate my feelings Beth. I’m not here to pressure you into anything, I just needed you to know you’re not alone.”
“Bas, I’ve never felt pressured by you, you’ve only ever made me feel safe.” Beth said softly, her eyes conveying that she was telling the truth.
Beth reached her hand up, gently caressing his stubble covered cheek, she mentally swallowed down her hesitation, the look in his eyes gentle yet conveying he wanted it too. She leaned in slowly, pressing her lips to his in a soft kiss. Bastien gently caressed her cheek as he lightly kissed her back, allowing her to pull away.
Finally breaking the kiss as she pulled back Beth hummed, she was surprised how good, how normal kissing him felt. The kiss itself was small and tentative, but the feelings that coursed through her made her feel like maybe she’d someday be alright again.
“Let’s get you some air, okay?” He asked gently, he wanted to kiss her again more than anything but he didn’t want to push her or make her feel pressured, he wanted her to feel safe.
He gently placed his hand on the small of her back, she smiled softly up at him, as he led her out of the train into the fresh night air.
As they passed Liam, Beth felt a chill go up her spine and a knot form in her stomach as she saw the glare he gave her and Bastien. She didn’t know what would be worse to be linked to forever, a man, no monster who took it from her with force, or the man who could so easily throw her away.
Liam’s blue eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, as he gave the passing ‘couple’ a seething glare. Liam thought he might finally be winning, he saw Beth spiraling, falling apart, he had hoped she would handle things, get rid of his problem for him. Someone had to go and get involved, Bastien had to get in his way. He didn’t like that Beth and Bastien were getting so close, he didn’t trust that Bastien really dropped his search. He feared their closeness would just make Bastien search even harder for the truth, he couldn’t be found out. He needed to keep everyone from finding out the truth of what he did. He knew he needed to find a way to break Beth once and for all, a way to keep Beth and Bastien apart.
