Could she let him in, learn to trust once again? Was there hope of leaving behind this pain and despair behind? Could he be the one to to help her through?
Beth felt her heart…no she couldn’t, she wasn’t ready, she didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to let someone else in again. She wanted nothing more than to feel safe again, to feel like herself again. She wanted so badly to feel something besides sorrow, defeat, hated. Her life had changed so suddenly in one night, she had held on to hope that in the end she’d have Liam in the end and he could help her heal. She had been so stupid, did he ever want her? Could she actually get him back if she found Tariq and exposed what he had done? Did she want him back after the way he treated her? Did she ever really have him in the first place? Had she made up his feelings for her, is that why he could treat her so coldly? But, he told her he loved her, she hadn’t imagined it. Maybe she wasn’t worthy of love, his or anyone else’s.
Beth’s mind kept swarming with conflicting thoughts and feelings to the point she didn’t even know who she was anymore. What Tariq had done had left her an empty shell of a person, she didn’t think she’d ever feel human again. She was alone, lost in her thoughts and feelings, she kept wondering if living was even worth it anymore.
Her whole body was numb to feeling, she felt as if her body was moving without her. She wanted to feel, anything. Her body was a pit of despair, brought on by the cold looks and words from people she once considered friends. They were what helped her not feel so lost after that night, knowing she had people to lean on, now she had no one.
Loneliness filled her being day and night, she didn’t think she’d ever feel cared for again. She didn’t need love, she just needed something other than hatred and indifference and pity. She needed, no wanted someone to show her compassion and not treat her like the broken woman she’d become. Would she ever feel remotely human again, or would she always be left feeling open and raw?
***
Beth was spiraling, spinning out of control, he could see it, he could how this would end if he didn’t step in. He couldn’t let that happen, not to her, not the girl who was claiming his heart. He hated seeing her so sad and broken, he had to help her, make her see how special she was how much she meant to him. He’d kept an eye on her for days, watching her spin further out of control, but he didn’t see her today, fearing the worst he headed to her cabin.
When his knock came unanswered he felt his stomach knot and heart clench, he feared he was too late. Tears burned in his eyes as he tried to the door, praying he wouldn’t have to force it open. The handle turned with ease, he wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or even more fearful. He threw open the door and crossed the threshold quickly. He let out a sigh of relief when he found her sitting upright on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, staring off into space, she hadn’t even noticed he’d come in. He rushed to her side, dropping to his knees at the side of her bed, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, still she barely blinked.
He forcibly swallowed a lump in his throat, she was worse than he thought, he just hoped he could get through to her. Cautiously he brushed her raven hair off of her pale face, she didn’t flinch, her once lively pale blue eyes hollow, showing no emotion as she stared off into space.
“Beth,” he said, gently caressing her cheek, he didn’t want to scare or startle her but he had to get through to her.
Her eyes briefly darted to him, maybe he could get through to her he hoped.
“Beth,” he repeated, his voice a little louder but cracking from fighting back tears.
She turned her head towards him this time, a brief glimmer of recognition in her eyes. He silently cursed the monster that set forth the events that made her become like this, her friends that abandoned her when she needed them the most.
“Beth,” he repeated again, even more forcibly than before, he needed to get through to her; his thumb grazing the smooth porcelain skin of her cheek.
Her pale blue eyes met his grey tear filled ones, he softly smiled as he finally got through to her, recognition etched on her face.
“Bastien?” She asked softly.
“Hey, have you eaten today?” he asked concerned for her well being.
She shook her head, she couldn’t remember when she ate last.
“Are you hungry?” He asked, his eyes finally really taking in her appearance, dark bags under her eyes, no emotion written on her face, her eyes vacant.
She shook her head again.
“Come on Beth” he said cautiously taking her hand in his, “let’s get you something to eat.”
Beth allowed Bastien to pull her up, he slowly, carefully slipped his arm around her slim waist, steadying her as he lead her to the dining car. Beth’s vacant eyes stayed forward, not even noticing the stares from the nobles as they walked past. He carefully guided her to sit, he sat next to her gently rubbing her back.
He leaned into her, “talk to me Beth, you’re not alone, you’ve got me.” He whispered into her ear.
His words resounded in her ears as she turned to look at him, actually seeing him for the first time as the fog surrounding her seemed to lift.
“Bastien?” She asked, her voice laced with confusion, tears filling her eyes.
“Yes Beth, I’m right here.” he said comforting her.
***
After she ate a little Bastien led Beth back to her cabin, once they were safely inside she fell into his arms crying.
“Shhh, it’s ok Beth.” He said softly rubbing her back, his heart ached at the sight of seeing her in so much pain.
She looked up at him through tear filled eyes, tears staining her beautiful porcelain skin, “Bas, what am I doing here? I’m alone, everyone hates me…” she trailed off sobbing.
His heart broke for her, for what felt like the millionth time, “you’re not alone, you have Maxwell, and you have me.” He replied, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.
Beth blinked at him, she had him? She had him…
