Beth couldn’t understand what was going on with Liam, he was telling her he believed her and only loved her, but he was being cold and distant. She didn’t know what to believe anymore, part of her just wanted to go back to New York and try to forget what happened, but she could never forget. She would always carry that night with her, a tarnish on her soul, something that could never be removed no matter what she did. Sometimes she wondered if it was even worth continuing on. Everyone at court treated her differently, well minus Maxwell and Bertrand. Even Hana started avoiding her, she tried telling her what really happened but Hana told her not to accuse someone of something so awful just because she regretted it.
Drake was distant too, he didn’t share in the moments in between anymore. She felt lost and alone, hated, Beth wondered if she should even go on living anymore. Maxwell tried his best to be there for her and cheer her up, but it was just all too much for Beth.
The worst of it wasn’t that Liam was being cold and distant while saying he loved her, no it was the way he was with Madeline. He was sweet and loving, even when they were the only ones in the train car. She lost count of how many times she walked in on them being cozy, alone with no one to show off for. He kept saying it was for show, but for who? Beth couldn’t understand how someone who loved her could treat her in such a cruel manner. Sure he invited her on “dates” but he didn’t treat her like he had before… He treated her like damaged goods and maybe she was, maybe she didn’t deserve to know the truth.
Beth felt like she had no one, she felt like all she did was cry, she didn’t know if she even knew how to go on anymore. She didn’t know who she could trust, who she could believe, where she belonged. She was lost in a pit of loneliness and despair, she couldn’t see anyway out, not on her own.
She was crying on the train, trying to drink the the pain away, she was hiding from herself. She couldn’t stand being locked alone in her room anymore. She didn’t like the stares and whispers either, she knew she should just leave, go back to New York, but she needed to know why, who did this to her.
When someone sat next to her at the bar she just ignored them, she couldn’t handle anymore of Maxwell’s pained looks, they showed pity. She didn’t want nor need anyone’s pity, she only wanted to uncover the truth. She just continued to stare into her, she lost count of the number drink, tears falling down her face and collecting in a puddle on the surface of the wooden bar. She was wallowing in self pity, like she had been so frequently as of late, she felt battered and bruised, a gaping hole where who she was used to reside. She was different, he, what he did, changed her, it was like he changed her on a cellular level, she hurt all of the time, she didn’t know how to make the pain stop.
A gentle hand touched her shoulder, her first clue that it wasn’t Maxwell seated beside her.
“Beth,” his voice was smooth as silk, he spoke in a soft tone full of gentleness and kindness she didn’t get from anyone else.
She turned her head to look at him, through tear filled eyes she could just make out his features, his grey eyes staring back her. His free hand moved slowly as not to scare her, he wiped the tears from her eyes, his touch so gentle, caring, and something more…
She felt safer almost instantly, a feeling that scared her, she wasn’t sure who she could trust. He had never hurt her, he’d been there for her, but Liam had been sweet in the beginning and now it just felt, off. She was afraid to let anyone in, afraid to trust anyone after what had happened, after Tariq. Yet, she felt that maybe he was safe. She just wanted to feel like she had before, she wanted to stop crying, to stop being so afraid. Maybe she could let him in, maybe she could trust him, maybe he was the first step to getting herself back.
His grey eyes stared back at her, appraising her in silence, it was like he wasn’t sure how to act either. No one knew how to treat her, well no one that knew the truth, he was the one who made Beth feel most like herself, life she did before everything…
Beth wanted to let him in, to trust him more than anything, but she didn’t know how. She had trusted she was safe, but she wasn’t, if she was that night at Applewood would never had happened. She trusted that Liam loved her, that he would choose her, she trusted every word he said. She had trusted that her friends would believe her, they would be there for her, support her, but all but Maxwell thought she was some harlot who broke Liam’s heart. Liam didn’t look broken though, he looked happy, like he had moved on, moved past her. Beth wished she could move on as easily, she was tired of feeling alone and broken, she was tired of the pain and the hurt.
Beth’s pale blue eyes stared back at him, taking him in, he looked worried and worn, tired. She wanted to trust him, let him in, he’d been there for her, never done anything to make her think she couldn’t trust him, but neither did the others.
Could she let him in, learn to trust once again? Was there hope of leaving behind this pain and despair behind? Could he be the one to to help her through?
“Hey Bastien.”
