Epithymia – Chapter 13

Two days after arriving in Sardinia, Olivia and I were sipping espressos at the marble counter in Leo’s kitchen. To our left, floor-to-ceiling windows displayed the sun, rising on another day in my new reality.

Liam and I had been in contact; repeated apologies and oaths to never hurt me again on his part, devastated tears and repeated pleading for time, so much time, on mine. I missed him dreadfully. I missed his smile, his arms, that had always felt so protective around me, his body. But he wasn’t the only one I missed.

Lost in my thoughts, I barely registered a knocking at the door of Leo’s flat.

“Who could that be?” Olivia’s eyebrows furrowed together. “No one knows we’re here.”

“Maybe Leo forgot his key?” He had taken a trip to the local market to pick up supplies for dinner that night, and should be back soon.

“Hmmm.” Olivia crossed to the door, opening it to reveal the last two people I expected to see. “What the hell are you doing here?” she cried, protesting as Drake and Maxwell moved past her into the flat.

My stomach dropped. I wasn’t ready for this, to see Drake again, to go back to Cordonia. His eyes lit upon me, the color of coffee with a splash of cream, anger and desire and love shining in them, along with something else: hurt.

“What the fuck, Charlie?” Drake bit out. The last thing I’d said to him before I left was that I was in love with him. And then I’d gone, quickly, without giving him a chance to respond. Even now I stayed mute, unable to process that he was standing in front of me; I couldn’t blame him for being agitated.

He took a hesitant step toward me, as though I were a horse he was trying not to spook. I stayed put, my eyes fixed on his, my heart ready to beat out of my chest. Surely he could hear it?

“Come on, Liv, don’t be like this!”

Maxwell’s voice broke through my reverie. I flicked my gaze to where Olivia stood, arms crossed, glaring at Maxwell.

“Don’t be like what, Max? Don’t live my life? Be with whomever I want, with someone who wants me? You made it pretty clear that you aren’t interested, so I went and found someone who is.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and I watched her jaw clench as she tried to keep them at bay. I had no idea how Drake and Maxwell had found us, but it was clear both men had a score to settle. Olivia spun away and darted up the stairs, leaving Maxwell standing alone, red-faced. He turned to us, his gaze flitting between Drake and I, and ran his fingers roughly through his hair.

“Fuck,” he breathed. Maxwell looked up the stairs to where Olivia had disappeared. “I don’t know how to do this,” he mumbled, his expression crushed. Despite my own life being a total disaster, I saw how much Olivia meant to him, and how scared he was to let her in. “I’ll be back later.” Maxwell walked out the door and into the sunshine, leaving Drake and I still staring at each other.

“So, that’s a mess,” I said unhelpfully. Drake smiled, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “Yeah,” he replied, “he’s been like this since you left. I told him Olivia wasn’t worth the hassle, and he actually tried to punch me.” He stepped closer, now only a foot away from where I sat glued to my stool. Reaching out, he gently took my hand in his, and I let him, twining my fingers through his.

“God, I miss you, Charlie.”

His words sent a rush of warmth through me; I hadn’t realized how badly I needed this man in my life. Over the last few years, he had been my rock, always there when I needed him – when Liam was not. Drake was my best friend before anything else, and now that I’d admitted it, he was so much more. I couldn’t lose him.

“How long did you know, Drake?” I whispered the words, afraid to hear his answer. Had he been keeping Liam’s secret the whole time? Letting me believe that Liam was completely devoted to me? I felt Drake’s betrayal almost as potently as Liam’s. He looked down, avoiding my gaze, and my heart leapt to my throat. Squeezing my hand, he raised his eyes.

“Not long. I had suspicions over the years, certainly during the Engagement Tour, even though he swore that he was in love with you. He went to Fydelia a couple of months ago, just before …” he swallowed, his dark eyes burning into me. Despite everything going on, his look smoldered and I felt desire flame within me.

“Just before we were together the first time,” he continued. “Liam sent a text, by mistake. I thought it was meant for you, but …” he trailed off, his eyes telling me exactly who the errant text had been to. My heart broke all over again as I thought of Liam, my sweet, generous, strong Liam, bedding that vindictive woman, who wanted nothing more than to take my place.

I shook my head, holding back tears. “Why didn’t you tell me then?” Drake sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “It wasn’t that easy, Charlotte. Liam was my best friend, my only friend, for a long time. Yeah, there was Maxwell, and Leo, and Olivia, but Liam was the only one who really wanted me around. And then … when we were older …,” he broke off, searching my face before continuing, “I loved him. For a long time, I thought it would always be him.” His brown eyes bore into mine, piercing my soul. “Until I walked into your bar that night.”

I let my fingers run through his hair, feeling the soft strands slip through my my fingertips. Drake turned his head to kiss my wrist, his lips lingering at my pulse point.

“The day that you found out, that everything went down, he tried to take you away from me,” Drake whispered against my skin. His eyes were closed, a pained expression on his face. I sat in silence, heart pounding.

“What do you mean?” My voice was small, quiet.

“The rules, Charlie. I broke his goddamn rules when I came inside you, and he said I couldn’t be with you anymore. I couldn’t imagine losing what little part of you I had, so I–”

Drake’s voice broke and he looked away from me. He was heartbroken over losing Liam, over hurting me. He shook his head.

“I never wanted you to be hurt, please believe that. But I couldn’t let you go, not once I finally had you, at least in some way. I knew you belonged to Liam, that your heart was his, but I thought that maybe, this way, I could pretend that some part of you belonged to me. When he threatened to take that away, I snapped. I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore, whether you knew about it or not.”

Drake cupped my face in his hands. “I will never put anyone else before you, Charlotte. I would rather lose everything I have than ever make you cry the way Liam did.”

His words struck a chord within me, somehow piecing together my broken heart. All this time, with Liam, I knew that I was in second place. Cordonia would always come first – that’s the way he wanted it. I had stayed because I was willing to love him more than he loved me. Now, Drake stood in front of me telling me that I was number one in his life, and I realized how badly I wanted to give my love to a man who would be my partner, who would love me as much as I loved him. A man who would fight for me, for us, no matter what I said or did.

A man like Drake.

I leaned into Drake, pressing my mouth to his. He responded eagerly, tilting my face so our mouths slanted just right. I would never tire of kissing him, the softness of his lips, the heat as he gently stroked my tongue with his; I knew we had been made for one another. When I kissed Drake, Liam became a distant memory in my head.

Letting out a quiet moan, I deepened the kiss, clutching Drake’s t-shirt in my fists, bunching the soft material. I needed him closer, always. I had fully given in to my feelings for him and the dam was irreparably broken, lust and love and devotion surging through me, helping to fix my aching heart. Our tongues twisted together, tasting true love, tasting forever. I pulled back slightly, my words only a whisper against his lips.

“Love me, Drake. Make me yours.”

A primal growl rumbled in his chest as he lifted me from the stool, his large, warm hands gripping my thighs. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my mouth latched on to his, and let him carry me upstairs to my room. My entire body felt like it was on fire, passion consuming me from within. Gone were Drake’s gentle kisses and searching gazes; this man was ready to claim what was his.

“Which room?” he ground out, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs. I barely registered his words, lost in the haze of my arousal. My center, wet and aching, was pressed against the thickness of his dick, only a few layers of fabric separating us. Breathing heavily, I looked up at Drake, unable to form a coherent response. He tried again.

“Baby, tell me which room is yours or I’m going to fuck you in this hallway.”

Moaning, I nudged my chin in the direction of my room and plunged my tongue back into Drake’s mouth. His kisses were like a drug and I was hooked. Once in my room he kicked the door shut behind him and carried me to the bed, laying me against the pillows and pressing his body down on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. I pulled at his clothes, trying to get closer, to feel his skin.

“More,” I panted, running my hands up the smooth, hard muscles of his back tugging his tight, blue t-shirt out of the way. Drake kissed my jaw, down my throat, biting and licking the spot where my heartbeat thrummed.

“How do you want it?” Drake growled against my skin. His hands were everywhere, skimming up my thighs, cupping my jaw, tangling in my hair. I thrust my hips up against him wantonly, showing him exactly where I needed him the most. All my nerve endings were alert, on fire, each touch sending a lightning bolt straight to my pussy. Drake moved down my body, his mouth covering every inch of skin exposed by my flimsy tank top. “Damn it Charlotte, tell me how you want it,” he demanded, his tongue flicking over my hardened nipples straining against the cotton of my shirt. “I’m not going to be able to hold back much longer if you don’t decide.”

The hard ridge of his cock pressed between my legs and I shamelessly bucked up into him, trying to show him what I wanted. He shook his head, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

“No way, baby girl. I’ve waited four fucking years to show you how I feel about you, and I want to hear the words come out of your pretty mouth.”

Dominant Drake was dangerous. Tousled chestnut hair, glittering eyes black with desire, muscles taut as he hovered over me. Jesus. I loved being controlled, and I loved him. Leveling my gaze at him, I found the words he wanted to hear, my dripping pussy clenching in anticipation as I spoke.

“Fuck me like you own me.”

A rough moan erupted from his throat. Drake captured my mouth with his, plunging his tongue past my lips, his long fingers pulling my shorts down my legs. He returned to my center and caressed my slick folds. “You’re so fucking wet for me, baby.” He inserted one digit, slowly sawing it in and out while I writhed underneath him, loving the intrusion.

“More, Drake, please,” I begged, wanting him to fill me up. That wicked grin slid across his lips again and he obliged, plunging two more fingers into my swollen cunt, curling them to hit my g-spot. I cried out as his rough fingers stroked me, arching into his hand, trying to create friction against his palm.

“You like that, Charlie? You like my fingers inside you?”

My voice shook as I responded, crying for more. “Please fuck me, Drake, I need you.”

His lips moved from mine, down my throat to the tops of my breasts. He used one large hand to push my tank up and over my head, throwing it across the room, and peered down at me, panting, aching for release, my arousal dripping down my thighs.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

He pulled his fingers from me and held them up to his mouth, his tongue coming out to savor the slick juices coating them. Holding my gaze, I watched as Drake cleaned me from his hand. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.

“Do you want to taste yourself, baby? You want to see just how sweet you are?” I nodded, breathless, and Drake brought his hand to my lips. Darting my tongue out, I traced the long digit, scooping some of the essence onto my tongue.

Drake’s lips parted and he drew in a sharp breath, never taking his eyes off mine. “Jesus fuck, Charlie, you have no idea what you do to me.”

In answer, I let my fingers creep over the rock hard bulge straining against his zipper. Drake’s cock was a work of art, one I planned on appreciating over and over again for the rest of my life. I smiled coquettishly.

“Oh, I think I do.”

I pushed Drake’s back to the bed, hovering beside him on my knees. I slid the button of his jeans open, inching the zipper down to reveal my prize. “Holy shit,” I breathed.

Drake had left his underwear at home.

Moaning in pleasure, I bent down to take him in my mouth, licking the bead of pre-cum that shone at the tip. Inching my lips down his shaft, I curled them into a perfect “O” over my teeth, putting just enough pressure on him.

“Oh my god, baby, that feels amazing,” he groaned, holding my hair back so he could watch me swallow his cock. He smelled so good, his soap and his natural musk combining to drive me wild. Taking him until he hit the back of my throat, I sucked him greedily, wanting it for my pleasure as much as his.

Drake’s hips bucked involuntarily, his eyes glazed over. “I love fucking your hot little mouth, Charlie, but I need to get in that pussy.”

I pulled away from him with a soft pop and he quickly tore off his clothes, both of us now completely naked and wanting.

God, he was beautiful, and he was mine. Every inch of him was muscle, cut and defined. His pecs were covered in a light dusting of hair, flat brown nipples begging to be licked. I wanted to run my tongue over him from top to bottom, to follow that trail of hair from his washboard abs, across the sexy V of his hips, down to that glorious, 10 inch cock that pulsed in front of me.

“You see something you like?” My eyes lifted to his smirking face; he knew exactly what I’d been thinking. I shrugged one shoulder teasingly.

“You’re okay, I guess.”

In a second, Drake flipped us so I laid on my back, breasts heaving and legs spread wide for him. “I’ll show you okay, Charlotte.”

Kneeling between my legs, he pressed the thick tip of his cock to my entrance, slowly stroking through my wetness. “Drake,” I moaned, my eyes clenching shut at the sensation of him. “Please, I need you.” He slid himself up to my already throbbing clit and circled it with his length, nearly bringing me to climax right there.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

I obeyed and my eyes found his, hooded with desire. We stared at each other for a breath, not needing words to explain our feelings. Never taking his gaze of me, Drake slid into my waiting opening, inch by inch, until he was fully sheathed inside me. I clenched down on him, caught between pleasure and pain as I was stretched. After only a moment, the pain went away and pure ecstasy flooded my veins. I was home.

“Charlie, I’m not gonna last long,” Drake muttered, muscles straining as he held himself back. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I have to move.” I nodded, raising my hands to grip the headboard above me.

“I’m yours.”

My acquiescence spurred him into frenzied action. Drake pulled back and immediately plunged himself into me again, making me cry out in pleasure. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his hips continued to thrust. Every stroke of him inside me fanned the fire that was rapidly building in my core, threatening to consume me in the most delicious way.

My arousal dripped out of me, dampening the covers beneath my ass, but I was too gone to care about any mess we might make. Moaning incoherently, I held on tightly to the headboard, as though it could tether me to the earth.

“My god, Charlotte,” he panted, “you feel so good.” He leaned over me, one hand bracing himself on the bed and the other curled around my thigh, anchoring me to him. The new angle slid him against my g-spot and I rolled my hips against him, my clit aching for stimulation. Understanding my needs before I could speak them, he swept his hand from my leg to my center, pressing on my swollen nub. I arched against him, the sensations overwhelming me. I cried out, feeling my orgasm building quickly.

“That’s right baby, come for me,” Drake ground out, his thick cock continuing to own my pussy. “I want to feel you come on my dick.”

I took my hands off the headboard, placing them on my breasts and twisting my nipples roughly. My actions sent a jolt straight through to my core and sent me over the edge.

“God, I’m coming!” I panted, continuing to play with my tits, brushing my palms over the hardened nubs. My eyes closed of their own accord as I lost myself to the most powerful orgasm I’d ever experienced. Drake sped up, his cock ravaging me, and pinched my clit roughly.

“Look at me, Charlotte. Look at me when you come.”

Again, helpless to deny him anything, I found his gaze. His eyes locked on to mine intently, his face so like what I’d imagined the other night. “Drake! God!” I sobbed as my orgasm ripped through me, my inner muscles clamping down on him and soaking his length with my come, unable to keep my eyes open any longer. Drake watched as I flew apart, shattering, splintering, and coming back together under his hands, my heart and my body forever imprinted upon.

He pumped inside me twice more before succumbing to his own release. “Fuck, Charlie,” he groaned, his hands gripping my hips to his so hard I knew I’d bruise underneath his fingers. I felt him spurt inside me, coating my insides with his seed and marking me as his. He continued to pulse as my walls fluttered around him, our climaxes drawn out by the other’s pleasure.

“Baby, my god,” Drake whispered, drawing me up to him and holding me to his chest, still buried deep inside me. I twined my arms around his neck and buried my fingers in his damp hair, my face pressed into his shoulder. I gently kissed and licked the skin there, unable to get enough of him. With one arm wrapped around my waist and the other cupping the back of my head, Drake surrounded me like he was afraid I could slip away at any moment. If only he knew how completely I belonged to him now.

We spent forever like that, bundled in each other’s arms, until our breathing returned to normal and Drake slipped from my folds. Raising my head from his shoulder, I met his eyes, which were clouded over with worry. I knew he thought that this wouldn’t change things, that I would stay with Liam, that he would still come second in my heart. Nothing was further from the truth.

“Drake,” I murmured, cupping his face in my hands. His arms tightened around me, waiting for me to shatter him. I ducked my head to meet his gaze.

“Drake, I love you,” I began, running my thumbs over his chiseled jaw. “My marriage is over. I’m leaving him, for good. You’re the only man I want, the only man who’s ever really been there for me, and I want to be there for you, too.” I watched as the storm in his dark eyes cleared and hope began to shine.

“The last four years, you have been the one who’s always been by my side. You’re my best friend, not Maxwell, and not Hana. I was so stupid to not realize how much you mean to me, how much you’ve always meant to me.” My eyes filled with tears as I thought about how much time I’d wasted in another man’s arms. “Liam never loved me, not the way he loves his country,” I continued, “and … I don’t think I’ve ever loved him the way I love you.”

I had gone to Cordonia years ago for Liam, and I never dared to let myself think there was something better out there. I loved Liam and had resigned myself to a life where I could never be as important to him as he was to me. Now Drake was here before me, showing me that there was more to being in love than always feeling second best. I hated myself for making him feel the way Liam had done to me. A tear broke free, tracking down my cheek as I laid myself bare.

“I’m so sorry, Drake, for not giving us a chance, for telling myself that I should live a life where I gave more than I received. I meant what I said before, that I should have left with you years ago, that my heart knew what my head refused. I didn’t deserve you then, and I don’t now. I hurt you, and I can’t ever tell you how sorry I am.” I cried freely now, still clutching Drake’s face, willing him to believe me. “You were never second-best in my eyes, I just thought you needed someone better than me.”

His large, strong hands came up to my cheeks and wiped the tears away. He kissed me fiercely, his soft lips firm against mine, his tongue swiping inside my mouth and leaving me breathless. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against mine for a moment, eyes closed as he began to speak.

“Charlie, from the moment I saw you walk out of the bar in that green dress, I knew there was no going back. You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to make sure you were happy and safe, even if I wasn’t the one you wanted.” He lifted his eyes to mine. “Don’t ever apologize for what happened. I pushed you to Liam, I made sure you fell in love with him first, because I couldn’t give you a damn thing that he could.”

A shadow fell over his features as he continued. “And then he fucking used you and took advantage of your love and I hated myself for it, because if I had just let you in, you wouldn’t have been hurt.” He swallowed thickly. “You’re mine now, Charlotte, and I will never let you go. But Liam isn’t going to give you up so easily. He’ll fight.”

I took a shuddering breath, knowing that Drake was right. Liam would fight a divorce, if for no other reason than it would make the monarchy look weak. But I had a lot of fight left in me, too, and I wouldn’t let Liam keep me from Drake any longer.

“I know,” I nodded, “but as long as we’re in this together, we’ll figure it out, right?”

Drake held me close, stroking my hair. “I’m yours forever, Charlie. I love you and I won’t let him hurt you anymore.” He brought his mouth to mine, claiming my lips again. He shifted us to lay on the bed, side by side, and tangled his fingers in my hair.

“I love you too, Drake. Forever,” I whispered against him. We stayed like that, curled against one another, and drifted off to a sated, happy sleep.

Then all hell broke loose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.