Summary: As Gabi drives off to college alone, she can’t help but think about the two loves she left behind. This is Part 2 of 3
Song Credits (In order)
1. Night Changes – One Direction 2. Peer Pressure – James Bay and Julia Michaels 3. Perfect – Ed Sheeran 4. Ruin My Life – Zara Larsson Spotify Playlist (includes songs from part 1)
Gabi loads her overnight bag back into the car, ready to set out on the second leg of her three day cross-country journey to Langston. Day one had been rough. She’d underestimated just how lonely and how boring it would be to do it on her own. At first she’d regretted her decision to take a trip down memory lane through her music, spending he second half of the day listening only to comedic podcasts to try and keep her mind off it all. But as she’d settled into her hotel room for the night, she felt a bit lighter, as if the music and the memories had a cathartic effect. She’d remembered hearing recently that psychological studies show listening to sad songs when you’re sad has proven therapeutic, and she’s not one to argue with science, so she’d spent the remainder of the evening adding more song to her playlist. Anything that had reminded her of Logan, Colt, or the crew was fair game, even if it reminded her of the painful times.
She waits until she’s on the main highway to turn on the first song. This one has Logan written all over it even from the first lines:
Going out tonight / Changes into something red / Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress / Everything she never had she’s showing off
She laughs as she remember the skimpy red tube top she wore to the sideshow. She’d been way out of her element that night, and couldn’t have imagined what was to come:
Driving too fast / Moon is breaking through her hair / She said it was something that she won’t forget / Having no regrets is all that she really wants
Her first night with Logan, they’d sped away from the cops, and she’d gotten her first kiss. It was all so exhilarating, so dangerous. It was the excitement in her life she’d been searching for, and despite all the pain it’s caused, it’s given her so much more, and she doesn’t regret a second of it.
Listening on, the remainder of the lyrics bring up another vivid Logan memory.
~~~
“Aah!” Gabi jumped, startled by the loft door opening.
Logan hopped on the bed. “Didn’t meant to scare you. How are you feeling, with everything?”
Chasing it tonight, / Doubts are running ‘round her head
As Gabi looked at Logan, all she could think about was kissing Colt earlier in the day, and the guilt hit her hard. “I feel… confused. How about you?”
Anxious. Ready and raring to go. Whatever we do about the Brotherhood, the waiting is killing me. It feels like I’m sitting at the starting line, but they won’t let me race.
Gabi frowned. “Kaneko and Colt still haven’t settled on a plan yet.”
“I know. I just hate working for those assholes in the meantime. We finished stripping down the Maranello. Just the frame and the chassis to melt down now.”
“I still can’t believe we’re just destroying it. It was so beautiful. To tear down something so perfect… It’s just a waste.”
“It really was a work of art.” Logan slips an arm around Gabi. “But you’re holding on to something that’s already gone. Nothing left but to finish the job.
“Yeah…”
“Listen, I’ve got a flatbed truck outside to take down to the steelworks. You should come with me,” Logan offers. “I’ll show you how to lower the car into a vat of molten steel. Bet you’ve never done that before.”
“I definitely have not, but I should study…”
“Then I’ll help you do that first.”
“Really? a study date with you?”
“Sure. I’m sure I could find some way to motivate you… and we could melt the car down together after that.”
“Motivate me, huh?” Gabi got out her stack of notes and textbooks and explained what she needed to study. “How exactly are you planning to ‘motivate me? By taking off your clothes?” She said it half in jest, wanting it but not thinking he’d go for it. Part of the reason she’d let herself get closer to Colt was that Logan had held her at arms length since the night of the drive-in. Even though things had thawed between them, it still wasn’t quite the same as before.
Logan cocked an eyebrow. “Well, now I am. Every question you get right, I’ll take off one piece of clothing.”
“I thought you were supposed to help me study, not distract me!”
“It’s only distracting if you can’t keep your hands to yourself,” he teased as he shuffled through the flashcards.
She didn’t miss a beat, getting each question correct with Logan stripping down more and more each time. He removed his denim work shirt first, revealing the strong biceps and muscular forearms Gabi loved so much. Each vein and scar was a testament to hard work and an even harder life. Then he peeled his white t-shirt off, his perfect muscles rippling in the moonlight. After the third question, Logan locked eyes with Gabi and smirked as he unbuckled his jeans and slipped them off, causing her cheeks to flush and lighting a fire inside her.
Logan stood before clad solely in his tight, red boxer briefs. “Alright, you’ve got me down to my underwear.”
Heart is beating loud, she doesn’t want it to stop
She somehow managed to maintain her composure and hide what a mess she was inside. “Give me a spin,” she commanded like she’d done this before. Logan turned around slowly, allowing Gabi to drink in every part of him. She noted his bulge looked much bigger than she thought it was, and his blue jeans did not do his ass nearly enough justice. “Just one more question to go.” She had no clue what she was doing, but her desire for him overruled her nerves.
“Hey, I am not a piece of meat!” Logan objected, feigning offense.
Gabi giggled. “What? You wanted to motivate me! Consider me motivated!”
“A perfect three-for-three. Not that I expected anything less.”
“Good. What do I win?”
“Win?” Logan laughed. “You’ve only done three questions!”
He was right, she had only done three questions and did not need any distractions. But Logan was right there, nearly naked, and there was no way she could concentrate on anything else but him. Gabi surged forward, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Logan responded, kissing her back hungrily, running his hands up and down her body as Gabi walked him backwards to the bed. She fell down on top of him, shifting herself to straddle his hips. She took her time exploring his body, tracing her hands along his neck, his arms, his chest. His muscle tensed beneath her touch and as she reach his waistband, he sucked in a breath. Her short skirt had ridden up high leaving only two thin layers where their bodies met. She felt his hard length twitch, sending a thrill through her and leaving her aching for more.
Moving too fast / Moon is lighting up her skin / She’s falling, doesn’t even know it yet / Having no regrets is all that she really wants
Gabi pressed another kiss to his lips “I could kiss you forever.”
A somber expression fell upon Logan’s face. “I wish forever was something we could count on…”
We’re only getting older baby / And I’ve been thinking about it lately / Does it ever drive you crazy / Just how fast the night changes?
The perilous situation with the Brotherhood was uncertain at best, but Gabi sensed Logan meant something more than that. Then again, maybe it was her and her own doubts, for as much as she was wrapped up in Logan and wanted him more than anything right now, thoughts of Colt were still there in some corner of her mind. “Then just kiss me tonight.”
“That I can do.” He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her again before flipping her over on the bed. Their bodies pressed together, she relished his warmth and the feeling of his bare skin against hers. His calloused fingers slid under her shirt, and she shivered as they grazed her breasts. Inexperienced and shy, she let Logan take the lead, waiting in anticipation for something more. He tugged at the edges of her clothing like he was thinking about it but stopped himself. She knew how much he wanted her – seeing it in his eyes, feeling it from his body, hearing it through his moans – yet something kept stopping him. She resigned to the fact that certain things would not be happening that night, but she still had his kisses and she gave into him, losing herself in his full, soft lips.
~~~
Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of / Disappearing when you wake up / But there’s nothing to be afraid of / Even when the night changes
This next line pulls her out of the bittersweet memory and back to the present reality. Logan had come into her life just as fast as he left it, her whole new life and her first love disappearing overnight. She starts to think about the plans they could have made and the future she could see, but before she can travel much further down that path, the next song comes on.
Seven texts, 2AM / Halfway dressed, all saying, “Call me up” / You can’t sleep, you’re testing me / Bad but sweet and I’m just tryna keep it together, oh
Unlike many of the others, she hadn’t chosen this song for any one memory but for many of the moments they shared. It encompassed him and how he made her feel and think things she couldn’t quite comprehend.
~~~
“A paint shop?” Gabi had blindly followed Toby’s instructions to take a detour on the way back to the shop.
“Not just any,” Mona answers. “Zasies’s is where I got my ride painted.
“You’re gonna be driving your car all over town now that you’ve got a license! You gotta make this thing your own!” Toby seemed almost more excited than if it were his own car.
Gabi was not prepared for this type of decision on a whim. “I wouldn’t know what to pick!”
The crew was quick to offer suggestions from the sample paint jobs. Toby choose a classic red which she quite liked. The blue and white Ximena liked was also a contender. Mona suggested black and yellow, but Gabi wasn’t about to try and match Logan’s car with the way he’d been acting. She decided they were all better than the Barbie pink design with the white stripes down the middle.
“What do you think, Colt? Gabi asked, half expecting him to make some dig about it being a car and not a motorcycle.
“Not gonna lie, I actually like this one for you…” He pointed to the pink design and her jaw almost hit the floor. So what’s the call? You’re the boss.”
I don’t usually give in to peer pressure / But I’ll give in to yours
What was wrong with her? Colt said he liked it, and suddenly she couldn’t think of choosing anything else. “Screw it it…Let’s do this!” Hot pursuit pink had just become her new favorite color.
–
Gabi had danced a couple times with Logan already, but she still felt like a fish out of water on the dance floor. However, when Colt pulled her closer and their hips collided, her instincts took over and she rhythmically grinded against him, not worrying what anyone else would think.
When we met, innocent / Now I’m dead every time you’re touchin’ me
Colt smirked. “I thought you didn’t know how to dance.”
“It’s like Ximena said. I’m doing what feels good.”
Put your hands on my body just like you think you know me
Want your heart beating on me, don’t leave me hot and lonely
Colt leaned in close enough she could feel his breath on her lips, his intense gaze sending a rush of heat through her entire body. “Then you should keep doing what feels good.”
You’re dancing around on my mind every second / I’m under control till you’re in front of me
Gabi pushed her hands through Colt’s hair, bringing his mouth to hers, and the rest of the world melted away.
–
Colt pulled up in front of Riya’s house and looked over at Gabi with a sincere expression. “You deserve so much more than Logan, Gabi.”
“And who can give that to me? You?”
“Hell yeah I can. The rest of the crew, they’re not like us. They’re just scraping by. But the two of us?” He tenderly brushed a strand of hair away from her face and leaned in closer. “We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town.
So I give you my everything and you keep on teasing / With that look in your eyes ‘cause you know I believe it
She wanted to still be mad at him too, for the way he handled everything, humiliating her in front of the crew, but there was something about him and they way he believed in her she couldn’t resist. “Colt…”
I don’t usually give in to peer pressure / Oh, but I’ll give in to yours
Without even thinking, Gabi leaned over and captured Colts lips in a heated kiss. He pulled her into his lap and her mind grew hazier still, and she moaned as his hands roamed her body leaving firey trails in their wake. She couldn’t make any promises for the future, but in that moment she would have given him anything he wanted.
~~~
You’re dancing around on my mind every second / I’m under control till you’re in front of me / Maybe I’m scared, I don’t care, I’m addicted / I’m in it
The lyrics sum up so perfectly how she had felt about Colt. Her reservations about being with him when she still had feelings for Logan all but disappeared when she was right in front of him. That was until she had found out the whole truth about his plan for the brotherhood. Until she realized as much as she had thought he understood her, he saw her more for what he wanted her to be than what she actually was. As exhilarating as her foray into a life of crime had been, it wasn’t really her and never would be. She needed someone who loved her for who she really was, even if that was a girl who wanted to go to college and have a “normal” life, and that person turned out to be Logan. So when faced with the choice of going to prom with Colt or Logan, it wasn’t even a question. And as the title of the song she had chosen to remember that night suggests, it had been perfect.
~~~
“Shall we?” Logan held out his hand for Gabi an led her onto the dance floor as a slow song came on. She had grown tired of hearing this song on the radio, and she had always thought of it as just another cheesy love song, but suddenly the words and music held so much meaning.
I found a love for me / Darling just dive right in / And follow my lead
Logan wrapped his arms around Gabi’s waist and she relaxed in his embrace, letting him guider her to the beat. She closed her eyes and rested her head against is chest, reflecting on how amazing the night had already been and the next lines in the song reminding her of how Logan had looked at her, speechless, when she came down the stairs at Riya’s house.
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful / I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight
“See, isn’t this better?” Logan asked.
“Much.” Gabi smiled softly. She couldn’t put the brotherhood out of her mind completely, but here with Logan she felt safe and happy, at least for the moment. She looked around at the other students dancing awkwardly. “Not exactly like dancing at the sideshow or the rave, huh?”
Logan smirked. “Maybe we can show them a thing or two.”
They swayed together as one, keeping in perfect time with the music and staring into each other’s eyes. Gabi leaned in and pressed a kiss to Logan’s lips.
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own / And in your eyes you’re holding mine
Logan deepened the kiss, and the rest of the world fell away.
–
“I’ll just be going now,” Gabi remarked, not wanting to witness Darius and Riya’s overenthusiastic PDA that resulted from Gabi helping to get them back together.
Logan walked up behind Gabi and pulled her body against his. “Looks like everything worked out.”
Yeah, it’s a start, at least.” Gabi grinned, content to be in Logan’s arms again and to have her friends back the way they should be. “You know, I used to be so jealous of their relationship.”
“Yeah?”
“It felt like I’d never get to have that passion in my life.”
Logan reached up to brush a strand of hair from Gabi’s face. “And now?”
“Now?” The last song was still buzzing around inside her head. Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet / I never knew you were the someone waiting for me. “I realize I was just waiting to meet you.”
–
I don’t deserve this / You look perfect tonight
The song trails off and Gabi finds herself crying again over another amazing memory now tinged with sadness. Logan had never truly believed her deserved her. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have let her go.
“Maybe all these sad songs weren’t such a great idea,” she mutters to herself. “What misery am I subjecting myself to next?”
I miss you pushing me close to the edge / I miss you / I wish I knew what I had when I left / I miss you
“Oh…this kind.”
~~~
“Is it done?” Gabi questioned Colt as he parked his bike in front of Vaughn’s house and sauntered over.
Colt nodded affirmatively. “Green light. We’re just waiting for a call sometime tonight.”
“You sure?” There was a tone of skepticism in Logan’s voice?
“Yes, I’m sure, you–”
“Guys,” Gabi jumps in before it turns into them pummeling each other once again. “We’re on the same side remember?”
Logan sighed. ”Let’s just get inside.”
As Logan went through the front door, Colt grabbed Gabi’s hand, holding her back. “Hey, look…I stopped by the old garage too, to try to find some things. And I found this. I guess my pop kept it from my first car. He had it in his desk. And now, well, no place for it on my bike, so…I figure you might as well have it, if you want.”
Colt held out the silly little moustached cactus dash ornament and placed it in Gabi’s hand. His fingers, lingered on her palms seconds longer than necessary but she didn’t make an attempt to move away either. “Colt…” There was so much she wanted to say, but she doubted anything would make him feel better at that point in time. “Thank you.”
Colt looked down at his feet and scuffed the toe of his boot on the pavement. “It’s nothing. Just a trinket, but maybe it’ll bring you some luck.”
Knowing Colt, it wasn’t nothing. It was one of the few possessions he had left from his dad. She didn’t want to lead him on, but she couldn’t help her herself. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his neck, inhaling his familiar scent. Even letting herself this close, she was playing with fire.
You set fire to my world, couldn’t handle the heat / Now I’m sleeping alone and I’m starting to freeze/ Baby, come bring me help / Let it rain over me
Baby, come back to me
Colt pulled back just a bit and tilted her chin up. He brushed his thumb over her lip sending a shiver through her. She should have pulled away, but she was stuck there, paralyzed by his proximity. He leaned in, his mouth impossibly close. “Gabi…”
I want you to ruin my life / You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah / I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah / Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah
She knew what he was asking without him having to say it. “Colt, I can’t.”
“But you want to.” He challenged, his intense stare never faltering. He moved just millimeters and his lips brushed against hers ever so slightly.
Baby, come bring me help / Let it rain over me / Baby, come back to me (baby, come back to me)
Gabi pushed her hands against his chest. “Colt…just please don’t. No matter what I still feel for you, we aren’t the same. Not like you think anyway. We’re meant for different things in life.”
I miss you, I miss you / I wish you, I wish you / Would come back, would come back to me / Come back to me, come back to me
Gabi could see the wheels turning in his head and a faint smirk crossed his lips. “We’ll see about that.” And with that he turned to go inside and Gabi followed, hoping Logan wouldn’t be able to see anything written on her face.
I want you to bring it all on / If you make it all wrong, then I’ll make it all right, yeah / I want you to ruin my life / You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life
~~~
Choosing to stay with Colt could have “ruined” both of their lives, for better or worse. Her mind wanders to later events that almost made her second guess her decision, but she’s not ready to think about that yet, so she shuts off the music until she’s ready to hear the rest.