ummary: As Gabi drives off to college alone, she can’t help but think about the two loves she left behind. This is Part 3 of 3
Song Credits (In order)
1. Goodbye My Lover – James Blunt 2. Love You Goodbye – One Direction Spotify Playlist (includes songs from part 1 and 2)
Word Count: 3153
Two days of driving down, and one long day to go before Gabi reaches her final destination. Despite the pain of having nothing to do but relive all her recent memories, she’s feeling lighter and more hopeful today than she has in a long time. She’s ready to let them go and start fresh. Well almost. She’s kept a couple songs for today. Ones that remind her of her goodbyes to them both. After driving for awhile, she’s ready and cues up the first song to play.
~~~
Colt dropped Gabi off in front of her house after saying goodbye. As if that wasn’t hard enough, everyone was gone, just like that. She hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye to Logan and didn’t know if she would ever see him again.
She turned to walk up the path to her house when she heard her name being called, and she would know that voice anywhere.
“Gabi?” Logan stepped out from the shadows.
“Logan!” I’d thought you’d left.” Gabi ran up and threw her arms around his neck.
Logan hugged her back in his strong arms and kissed her on the forehead. “I couldn’t. Not without saying goodbye.”
They stayed there motionless for a long moment, neither wanting to be the first to break the embrace. “What will you do?”
“I’m…not sure.”
“You know, you don’t have to leave. You could stay in L.A. We could find a way…” Gabi was desperate not to lose him. She would have given up school, gone anywhere, done anything, if that meant she could stay with him.
I know your fears and you know mine / We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine / And I love you, I swear that’s true / I cannot live without you.
Logan looked contemplatively up at the sky. Gabi followed his gaze and at that moment, a meteor streaked orange across the pitch black canvas of the night. “I lived my whole life on the run. From foster homes, from police, from gangs… I was always willing to walk away and never look back.” He looked back to Gabi.
You touched my heart you touched my soul / You changed my life and all my goals
“But I thought I was finally done running. I thought I’d finally found something worth fighting for. Worth risking it all for. But now the feds are after us. And every moment I stay puts you in danger.”
And love is blind and that I knew when / My heart was blinded by you
Gabi frowned. “What are you saying?” She already knows the answer. She could see it in his face, hear it in voice, but she was holding onto and last shred of hope that there was any way they could be together.
“I’m saying that if I really care about you…” He paused and took a deep breath, as if to muster the courage for what came next. “I have to never see you again.”
Did I disappoint you or let you down? / Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? / ‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun
“That’s not true.” Gabi shook her head, unwilling to believe it.
“We both know know it is. I have to walk away.”
Gabi stomach sunk, and it was like the ground fell out from underneath her. It was all she could do to keep herself from completely breaking down. Logan inched closer and Gabi fell into his arms, resting her head in his chest. They swayed together as if there was music only they could hear. “I don’t want to let go.”
I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile / I’ve watched you sleeping for a while / I’d be the father of your child/ I’d spend a lifetime with you
“Me neither. Man, I really get it now. It’s amazing how much life makes sense when everything hurts.”
Gabi tilted her head back to look up at him. He smiled, trying to lighten the mood but Gabi could see his eyes glistening in the moonlight.
“Logan…what am I going to do without you?”
“Well , for starters, you’re going to get some sleep.” Logan chuckled but Gabi was in no mood to laugh.
“Logan, I’m serious. I…don’t know how to go back to the old me.”
“Then don’t. Be the real you. The one that was always waiting to come out.”
“That one doesn’t know how to be alone.”
“She won’t be.”
“Where will you go?”
“Guess I’ll see where the road takes me.”
“And you won’t come find me?”
It may be over but it won’t stop there/ I’m here for you if you’d only care
“I can’t, Gabi. But know that every time you look up at the stars, I’m somewhere seeing your face in them.” Gabi covered her face with her hands as hot tears stung her eyes and Logan stroked her hair. “Hey, hey.. don’t cry over me. You’ll forget all about me soon enough. I was just a rock in space lucky enough to burn up in your atmosphere for a moment.”
And as you move on, remember me / Remember us and all we used to be
“No Logan, I’ll never love someone else.” She truly couldn’t imagine how she would ever get over him.
And I love you, I swear that’s true / I cannot live without you.
“Yeah, you will.” Logan smiled softy. “You’ve got a whole life ahead of you, and a whole lot of love in your heart. I was just some punk kid you caused trouble with in high school.”
He was selling himself short to make her feel better but she wasn’t buying it. She knew the real Logan. “Don’t say that Logan. Please don’t say that. You’re so much more than that.” As the tears streamed down her face, Logan brushed them away, his calloused fingertips rough against her soft skin.
Logan pushed her hair back out of her face and as much as she wanted to kiss him, she knew that would be the end – the last time she’d get to feel his touch. His lips met hers, soft, and warm, and she closed her eyes squeezing the collecting tears down her cheeks. He cupped her cheek in his hand while Gabi tried to commit every piece of him to memory – his scent, his touch, his taste…
I’ve kissed your lips and held your head / Shared your dreams and shared your bed. / I know you well, I know your smell / I’ve been addicted to you.
“Logan, no.” She pleaded as he pulled away, knowing that was it, and the hurt came crashing down instantly.
Goodbye my lover / Goodbye my friend / You have been the one /You have been the one for me.
Logan stepped backwards into the dark, never taking his eyes off her. “There’s a whole wide world out there waiting for you… Give ‘em hell, troublemaker.”
~~~
Goodbye my lover / Goodbye my friend / You have been the one / You have been the one for me / I’m so hollow, baby, I’m so hollow / I’m so, I’m so, I’m so hollow.
The last words of the song describe exactly how she felt when Logan left, like he occupied a physical space in her heart that he took away when he left. But Gabi has a big heart, and although Logan had been the love she felt she was meant to be with, she couldn’t help but keep a space for Colt too. She had thought her goodbye with him was final and had been starting to make peace with it, but Colt had other plans.
~~~
Gabi brought the last of her boxes out to the car and shut the trunk. Now that it was almost here she was both nervous and excited to move across country and start the next phase of her life. It was the first time in a week that she actually let herself look forward instead of just looking back.
As she walked back to the house, she heard a motorcycle in the distance. For just a split second she wondered if it was him, just like she had every time she heard one since he left, but then she remembered how unlikely that was. They’d said their goodbyes and they’d both made it clear they were headed in different directions. But when the sound kept getting louder, Gabi spun around and almost didn’t believe what she saw.
Colt pulled up in front of her house and hopped off his bike, setting his helmet on the seat. It was like she was seeing a ghost, but it had to be real. He was as gorgeous as ever as he sauntered over in fitted jeans and a white t-shirt under his black leather jacket.
“Colt! What are you doing here?”
Colt scratched at the back of his neck. “I was, uh, in the neighborhood.” It came off as more of a question than a statement. Her neighborhood, and specifically her street, were not places people just happened to pass by on their way elsewhere.
“Oh, really?” Gabi questioned suspiciously. “What type of business did you have around here? You know this probably isn’t the smartest place for you to be.”
“Fine, I’m here because I was hoping to see you. I know we already said our goodbyes, but I still feel there’s a lot left unsaid, and I knew you must be leaving soon…”
Gabi crossed her arms. “You’re right, I’m leaving in the morning, so if you are trying to convince me to stay, it’s too late for that.”
It’s inevitable everything that’s good comes to an end / It’s impossible to know if after this we could still be friends, yeah
“No, it’s nothing like that. I just…I don’t know I’m not always the best with words and expressing my feelings. Can we just go somewhere and talk?”
Colt’s humbled and pleading tone melted any resolve she had she had left. “Okay my dad is working, you can come inside.” Gabi led Colt into the living room. He sat on one end of the couch and she sat on the other, pulling her knees into her chest, guarded.
It seemed like minutes passed until Gabi finally broke the silence. “So, did you actually want to talk or are we just going to stare at each other?”
Colt smirked. “I don’t know. It’s not such a bad view.”
Gabi laughed and shook her head. “Come on, Colt. I’m leaving early tomorrow, and I could be sleeping right now.”
“Sorry. I just thought I’d get here and I’d know what to say…but I want to apologize. I know I can be an asshole sometimes.”
Gabi raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes?”
“Okay, most of the time.” Colt chuckled. “I don’t necessarily regret the choices I made, but I do wish I had handled some things differently with you. You know how I feel about you. You know how amazing and intelligent I think you are. I see a lot of myself in you, and because of that, I falsely assumed you’d want all the things I want too. I told you following your dream of going off to Langston wasn’t good enough for you, and I’m sorry. You are going to be great at anything you choose to do Gabi, and I know you’re destined for big things.”
Unforgettable together the whole world in my hands / Unexplainable the love that only we could understand, yeah
“Wow, Colt.” She couldn’t believe he was finally saying all the things she’d wanted him to say all along. “Thank you.”
“Colt looked down to his lap. “I just can’t stop wondering if I would have realized sooner-”
I know there’s nothing I can do to change it / But is this something that could be negotiated
“Colt, stop.” Gabi placed a hand on his knee. “I’m going to school on the other side of the country, and you are rebuilding your dad’s garage here. Everything is working out the way it’s supposed to be.”
Colt looked up to meet her gaze, placing his hand on top of hers, and something changed. His eyes darkened as a familiar spark passed between them, and Gabi knew there was know going back. She leaned in and Colt cupped the back of her head, closing the distance and crushing her his mouth to her. His tongue slipped past her parted lips, Gabi moaning as he deepened the kiss.
Suddenly, Colt pulled away. “What about Logan?”
Gabi sighed. “He’s gone. He didn’t want to put me in danger and wanted me to live the live I’m supposed to have. I haven’t seen or heard from him since that last night we were all together, and I doubt I ever will again.”
“That self-sacrificing moron.” Colt laughed and Gabi followed.
“Do you really want to talk about Logan, or…” Gabi slid her hand up and stopped near the top of his thigh.
“What are you saying?” Colt asked with a smile playing on his lips.
Hey, hey, hey / Oh, why did you have to walk out of my life
Hey, hey, hey /Oh, even though it’s over you should stay tonight
“I’m saying…come with me.” Gabi jumped up and grabbed Colt’s hand, pulling him with her and up stairs to her bedroom. As soon as she closed the door they started tearing at each other’s clothes, falling onto the bed, limbs intertwined with only their underwear left on.
Colt rolled on top of Gabi, hovering over her. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
If tomorrow you won’t be mine / Won’t you give it to me one last time /Oh, baby let me love you goodbye
Gabi nodded. Had she given Colt any false hope, or if there was any possibility she could have been with Logan again, she might have felt guilty, but she and Colt both knew the score. In an odd way, she knew it was what she needed to get over him.
One more taste of your lips just to bring me back / To the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had / Because if this is it then at least we could end it right
“Good. If this is the only chance I get, I’m going to do it right.” He kissed her lips, trailing down her jaw and neck, nibbling and sucking hard enough to leave a mark and sending shivers down her spine. He reached around to unhook her bra, flicking his tongue over her nipples as he pulled the cups down. He slipped his hand inside her panties and groaned as he felt how wet she was, and when circled over her clit she did the same, trying to bite back her moan. He removed her panties and sat up, his eyes roving over entire body. “I’ve waited so long to see you like this. You’re so fucking beautiful, Gabi.”
Gabi clasped her hands around his neck, pulling his weight onto her as she kissed him deeply. There was an urgency in his movements, yet he took his time exploring her body like he didn’t want to miss a thing. She came as he worked his fingers inside her, and then again as his tongue teased her clit.
She pushed colt onto his back, stripped off his boxer briefs, and took his hard length into her mouth, bobbing up and down until she brought him to the brink. He pulled her up before she went to far and guided her entrance over him. She sunk down onto him and gasped as his cock filled her completely. He writhed and moaned beneath her, running his hands all over body, caressing her breasts and making her whimper as he tugged on her pink buds.
“I want you on your hands and knees,” Colt commanded and she obliged. He reached around, stroking her most sensitive place as he drove into her, hitting her sweet spot every time. She felt the pressure building once again until it burst and she screamed out Colt’s name as intense waves of pleasure coursed through her.
Her walls still pulsing around him, Colt flipped Gabi over and pinned her hands above her head as his continues his frantic pace. She bucked her hips into him, and a few more thrusts was all he could take, crying out “Ohh, Fuck!” as his whole body shuddered.
Colt flopped on the bed next to Gabi, idly stroking her arm with his fingertips. “It’s a shame we won’t be able to do that again.”
“Yeah,” was all Gabi could manage to say, her mind a jumble of conflicting feelings. Leaving was still the plan, no question about it, but she’d be lying if she didn’t think for a split second about what it would be like if she stayed.
“I know this doesn’t change anything, but if things don’t work out for you out East, you know where I’ll be.”
Gabi kissed Colt softly on the lips and smirked. “I’ll keep that in mind if I flunk out.” She rested her head on Colt’s chest and they remained in silence as the minutes passed “Hey, Colt?”
“Yeah?”
“I just want you to know you were never second choice or plan B for me. I know this might not make sense or be of any consolation, but things just didn’t fall into place for us. We just couldn’t be what we needed each other to be.”
Colt studied Gabi thoughtfully. “You know what? I think I finally get it. It still hurts like hell, but I don’t want you to change to be what you think I want or need. Maybe our paths will cross again, but if I really love you, which I still do, I need to let you follow your own path.”
Gabi laced her fingers through Colt’s and gave his hand a squeeze. “I do love you too, Colt. Not in the way you need me to, but I will always care about you.
“I know.” Colt wrapped Gabi in his arms and held her until it was time to for him to leave.
~~~
Oh baby let me love you goodbye
Gabi momentarily wonders if reliving that all within the span of 10 minutes was a mistake as a wave of emotion almost drowns her. But as she takes a deep breath and exhales, she can almost feel the weight lifting off of her. She’s not just going to forget about everything and move on instantaneously, but forcing herself to relive and process it all has made her see things much more clearly, and she’s ready for what adventures lie ahead.