Expectations

Expectations
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine.
Author’s Notes- I am terribly behind on my September Challenge fics and still need to do days 2 and 5, but at least this one did come to me (and only a day late). It’s for day 7: future and was requested by writtenbycandy and features Mr. Sinclaire and my MC, Georgina Mallory. This is set a few years after the pair are married. I tried to stay appropriate with the language and I hope they are in character, this is definitely a more challenging book to write for.
Pairing- Mr. Sinclaire/Georgina
Rating- PG-13
Summary- Georgina is in a bit of a funk after the birth of her first child and Ernest notices and tries to discover why.
Words- 1324

“Anna, have you seen Mr. Sinclaire?” I asked the housekeeper as I emerged from the kitchens, where I’d been going over the meals for the next week.

“Upstairs ma’am,” she answered with a hint of a smile. While her answer was vague, I knew exactly what ‘upstairs’ meant.

I nodded and then hurried up the stairs towards the nursery. The nursemaid was nowhere in sight, having likely been sent away by my husband who stood by the window with our daughter in his arms.

“Don’t you have important business to be attending?” I teased, coming to join them both.

“This is important business,” Ernest told me, “Mary and I were discussing estate business.”

“I’m sure she found it fascinating,” I commented, looking at the sleeping infant, with that usual burst of love. She was truly perfect.

“Of course she did, it’s her birthright,” Ernest commented, moving from the window and gently laying Mary in her crib.

“Until we have a son,” I reminded him, “and then she’ll be relegated to making a good match and nothing more.” The words came out more bitter than I’d intended.

“You are the heir of Edgewater,” Ernest remind me, placing a gentle hand on my back.

“Because my brother was killed and there was no other option,” I reminded him, “and I won’t inherit the title.” No, the title would fall to my son, if I had one. If not, well… My father delighted in his granddaughter, but I’d seen the worry in his eyes over the fact that there was still no true heir for the Edgewater line.

“We should leave Mary to sleep,” I stated after a moment, pulling myself together.

“How about a walk in the garden?” Ernest suggested, following me out the door.

“I am sure you have important estate business to attend to.” I hedged as we descended the stairs. “I would hate to keep you from it.”

“Since when?” Ernest teased, “you have always enjoyed being a distraction in the past.”

I blushed at his words and the implication.

“Walk with me, Georgie,” he said in a low voice, offering me his hand. “It has been far too long.”

I softened, knowing he was right. My pregnancy and recovery had kept me restricted to the house for the last few months, depriving me of the freedoms I had previously enjoyed, including time with my husband.

I suddenly realized that we had not stolen a moment like this since Mary’s birth and suddenly my previous reluctance vanished and I nodded, taking his hand. “I’d like nothing more.”

We were silent as we explored the gardens, his hand warm in mine, his gaze lingering over me like a caress.

I took in the flowers, breathing in the fresh air. I’d been cooped up in the house for too long, I realized. I’d need this.

“I should start taking the baby out to the garden during the day,” I mused, imagining myself sitting out here with Mary. It was a happy thought.

“Will I be invited to join the two of you?” Ernest asked me with a teasing smile, “or will you banish me to my office to toil away?”

I laughed. “You will always be welcome wherever I am.”

“Good, because there is nowhere else I’d rather be,” he assured me and I could see the love written all over his face and it still took my breath away, just like it had the first time he had looked at me like that.

He dropped my hand to place his hand on my face, his gaze still locked on mine and he leaned into brush his lips against mine but I stiffened involuntarily and he immediately pulled back. “Georgina?”

Tears came unbidden. “I didn’t… It’s not…” I cried, frustrated with myself for ruining the moment. “It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me, I do… I just…”

Ernest took my hand once more, leading me over to a bench. He wrapped his arm around me, nestling me into his side. “Tell me what is wrong,” he encouraged gently.

“I do not wish to have another baby,” I cried out, “not yet, anyway.”

He looked surprised. “Given how young Mary is, I would think not. What… What brought that on?”

“Lady Grandmother,” I admitted, “when she visited the other day she reminded me that it is of utmost importance that I have a son for Edgewater and pointed out that I should be sufficiently recovered from childbirth.”

The visit had rankled and I’d been left to feel like a failure. But then that was pretty typical of my relationship with my grandmother. She was kind and I knew she loved me in her own way, but she never ever let me forget that Edgewater came first. She had admired Mary but was blunt where my father was not and wasted no time reminding me of the need for the male heir. Quietly reminding me that in the grand scheme of things, my precious Mary was as unimportant as I was.

“Oh my darling,” Ernest told me, tilting my face so that I was looking up at him, “the thought of another baby so soon hasn’t even crossed my mind. I have just been over the moon about Mary and grateful that you are safe.” I caught the shadow in his eye sand remembered the fears he had confessed to me while we were awaiting Mary’s birth  “I would love more children, but you and Mary are more than I ever thought I’d have and I treasure you both more than I can ever put into words.”

I could hear the sincerity in his voice and I could not help but respond to it, some of the fears that had plagued me easing at least slightly. However sincere he was it didn’t erase our need for a son, but it helped and I reached up, pressing my mouth against his this time.

Ernest responded eagerly, his arms locking around me, kissing me hungrily and reminding me just how long it had been. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a minute, we broke apart both flushed and smiling.

“You make me forget myself, always,” Ernest reprimanded with a smile, “One touch and I forget that we are outdoors where anyone could approach.”

“Then perhaps, we should move this inside,” I suggested boldly, gazing up at him.

“In the daylight?” He teased, helping me to my feet.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” I reminded him, “and I think my Lady Grandmother was right about one thing, I am sufficiently recovered.”

Ernest’s eyes burned with the fire that I knew was only for me and he pulled me tight against him, kissing me deeply again. “Are you sure?” He asked tenderly. “I don’t wish to…”
“Quite sure,” I promised him, my whole body on fire from his touch and aching for more. I realized how many things I’d missed in recent months, including being outside and being physically close to my husband. “Let us go inside and after I check in with the nurse, I will meet you in your study and we can go over the household accounts.”

Ernest chuckled. “I have missed going ‘over the household accounts’ with you.”

“Then let’s not waste any time,” I told him, moving toward the house. “After all, I feel like looking at the accounts is going to take a long time, at least half the afternoon.”

“At least,” Ernest agreed, easily catching up with me, “I suspect it might go well into the evening.”

“Perhaps,” I agreed demurely, my eyes sparkling. I was suddenly feeling more like myself. Talking to Ernest, opening myself up to him, it had helped, just like it always did. My worries weren’t gone, but I no longer felt as alone as I had. I just had to remember that I was never alone, Ernest would always be there by my side.

• End