For Her

For Her
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine.
Author’s Notes- Have I warned you enough yet that my Portia stories are tragic? This is the ‘end’ in a lot of ways (though “The Deepest Wound” takes place chronologically after this) and canon may completely mess with this, but this is how I envision Portia’s story ending. Tiny little note, the use of the name Livia at the end does not reference the historical Livia in any way, but it does reference a character in some of my other fics, a slight nod to my own headcanon geneology.
Rating- PG-13
Pairing- Antony/MC
Summary- Portia’s story ends, but another story begins.
Words- 1079

The sharp cry filled the room and I collapsed on the bed, exhausted. Nothing in my life had prepared for the pain and exhaustion I had just experienced and yet that cry… It made it all worth it.

“It is a girl,” the medicine woman told me, the babe safe in her arms, “do you wish to see her?”

I knew I should not, but… “Yes.”

The babe was laid on my stomach. I was so tired. I had spent over a day laboring and yet… Seeing her, the weariness disappeared. “She is beautiful.”

“Have you changed your mind?” Sabina asked from beside me. She had been at my side the entire time.

I shook my head, surprised at how much energy the simple movement took. “No. I need you to do what you promised.”

Sabina nodded gravely. “Of course, arrangements are already in place.” She glanced at the medicine woman and lowered her voice. “The debt I owe you can never be fully repaid, this is the least I can do. I promise she will go to a good home.” She hesitated, “are you sure Cassius is not…”

“Positive,” I answered gently, “look at her face, Sabina.” My daughter was only a few moments old and she already looked like her father. And that meant she would never be safe in Rome. It was my turn to lower my voice, “Antony can never know about her.”

If he knew, he would never agree to my plan. This was his child. He would claim her, like he had tried so many times to claim me. But Antony was not in Rome, though he was due back soon. He had not been in Rome for months, a gift from the Gods and a sign that this was the right path.

I still could not believe that I had been able to pull this off in secret, but for once the Gods had been on my side. Antony’s exclusive patronage, and the home he had procured for me, had allowed me to pass my time without attracting attention to my condition, as had Antony’s extended absence.

I laughed, though it was humorless, perhaps it was fitting of our relationship that it was his attempts to claim me as forever that allowed me to pull off the ultimate betrayal and take our child away from his influence.

“Portia…” Sabina murmured, stepping closer. However, whatever she was going to say was cut off by the brisk movements of the midwife.

“We need to deliver the afterbirth,” the medicine woman announced, lifting the baby off my chest.

I felt her loss immediately. My beautiful daughter. I wanted so badly to keep her in my arms forever but she deserved more than I could give her and I needed to protect her from Rome.

“She will be safe,” Sabina promised, bending to brush her lips across my forehead before standing and taking my daughter from the medicine woman, “I swear it.”

.Then she hurried through the door where Syphax, loyal to the end, waited to escort her and the baby to safety.

The medicine woman went back to business, examining me carefully. “This will hurt,” she cautioned.

I only half-listened. Besides no pain could compare to what I had just suffered as I watched my child disappear, knowing I would never see her again in this world. Once again I had lost my family, left alone in the world.

I tried to follow the woman’s instructions, but I was suddenly so very, very tired…
**

~3rd person POV~

“There was nothing to be done,” The medicine woman told Sabina, half-defensive, half-apologetic. “It took too much of a toll.”

Sabina numbly, exchanging a look with Syphax. “Thank you,” she managed before procuring a coin, paying the woman, who swiftly departed.

She glanced toward the bedroom, her stomach turning at the idea that Portia was in there… Or at least what remained of Portia. “There are arrangments that have to be made,” she muttered, not even sure where to begin.

“I’ll take care of it,” Syphax assured her, his demeanor as stoic as ever.

“Thank you,” Sabina whispered. “I should send for Cassius… He will want to know…”

Her cousin loved Portia deeply, her choosing another over him had not altered his feelings and Sabina knew that the news would devastate Cassius, as it devasted them also. But he was also the most equipped to help deal with the logistics, as terrible a burden as that was.

Syphax’s face was impassive. “You do what you feel best. We also need to come up with a story to tell Antony, once he returns.”

Yes, Antony. Portia’s lover, the father of her child, the man who had done his best to lay claim to her. He was due to return to Rome soon and would no doubt demand answers once he learned of his mistress’s death. Which left them to decide what those answers would be; since the truth was not an option.

“The fever,” Sabina said quickly, “she got sick and that is why she was confined to her home this past month and she never recovered. He never has to know the true cause.”

Portia had been adamant that Antony was not to know about the child and Sabina would not betray her last wish. Besides she had no particular love for Antony, especially not now when the only friend Sabina had ever had was gone because of Antony.

No, he had not killed her himself, but he was still responsible for her death and if Portia had believed her daughter was better off without Antony than Sabina would do everything in her power to make sure that he never learned of the girl’s existence.

Sabina cast a sad look in the direction where Portia lay. Portia had been the fiercest woman Sabina had ever met, but now her fire was dimmed and in the end, her story had been a tragedy. Though, at least there was the small comfort that some joy had come out of this tragedy and that it had not been in all vain.

Portia was lost forever, but she lived on in her daughter and her daughter had the chance to be happy, to have all that was denied her mother. Sabina knew that that was Portia’s final wish and she let out a silent prayer that the gods would fulfill it, be kinder to Livia than they had been to her mother.

• The End