Hollow
By Misha
Disclaimer- I don’t own any of the characters of “The Crown and the Flame” and I’m just borrowing them for a little while and will return them unharmed.
Author’s Notes- I try to answer most fic requests, though I modified this one a bit because the original request was too angsty for me because it involved Kenna dying. I just couldn’t do that to my babies. I was willing to put Kenna in mortal danger though and this is the result.
Pairing- Kenna/Diavolos
Rating- PG-13
Summary- Kenna and Diavolos have a terrible fight before he leaves for Lykos and while he’s gone, disaster strikes.
Words- 1279
“You are too trusting,” Diavolos sneered, glaring at his wife. “Constantly offering second chances.”
“Like I did with you?” Kenna threw back at him. “Remember, I believed that you were more than just your father’s lackey, that you were a man of principle and character.”
“And you no longer feel that way, I’m guessing.” He said scornfully, trying to keep his temper in check.
It wasn’t easy. These days Kenna had the ability to push every one of his buttons and it wasn’t even the good kind of fight where they then ended up tangled up in the sheets for hours. It was the kind where they could barely stand to look at one another.
“Maybe you should have chosen someone else,” he said scornfully, “like your silver-tongued spymaster. He would have just told you what you wanted to hear while doing whatever he damned well pleased behind your back and maybe that would have suited you better.”
“Then someone who questions my every decision and casts doubt on my leadership abilities?” Kenna demanded. “You made me look like a fool.”
“Because you were acting like one,” he said coldly, then sighed. “I don’t have time for this. I have to go do my best to try and stop a war.”
They had been going around this for weeks since a small band of nobles from Bellemere and Panrion had risen up to try and overthrow the alliance of kingdoms. The two of them had very different ideas on how to deal with the rebellion and that disagreement was starting to seep into every aspect of their relationship. To the point that for the first time in ten years, Diavolos was actually looking forward to a trip to Lykos just because it would be an end to the fighting.
“Don’t you mean start one?” Kenna retorted caustically. “Because that’s what it feels like you’ve been trying to do, since you keep shutting down the diplomatic route.”
Diavolos considered calling her naïve again or simply reminding her that all her efforts so far hadn’t worked, so she should at least give him a chance. But he knew it would just lead to more arguing, so he simply turned and walked away.
It was the first time he’d ever left her without saying goodbye and by the time the airship had taken off, the anger had started to fade and leave a curious hollow feeling instead. It reminded him of the way he’d used to feel, back before Kenna had entered his life and changed him for the better.
—
The hollow feeling stuck with Diavolos for his entire visit to Abanthus. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from turning to Kenna, remembering the way they had parted and regretting it.
He still didn’t necessarily agree with how she wanted to handle the situation, especially given the mess he had to handle in Lykos, but he regretted that they hadn’t been able to talk about it reasonably. He told himself that soon he’d be able to go home and makeup with his wife and try and find a solution they could both live it.
“What do you think, Adder?” He asked with a sigh, referring to the information that they had received that morning from Panrion.
Adder opened her mouth to speak when a messenger rushed in. “Your Majesty, I have urgent news from Stormholt.”
Diavolos felt a heaviness at the pit of his stomach. Kenna, the children… Had something happened to them? “Speak.”
“Lord Raydan bids you to return at once,” the man told him in a trembling voice.
“Lord Raydan?” Diavolos repeated, exchanging a look with Adder, who looked uncharacteristically concerned. “What happened to the Queen?”
“There was an assassination attempt,” the messenger blurted out, “the Queen was shot.”
Diavolos froze. The words repeating over and over in his mind. She was shot.
“Is she alive?” He heard Adder ask.
“She was when I left,” the messenger answered with a nervous glance at Diavolos, “I don’t know anymore. Only that Lord Raydan said the king should come immediately.”
Diavolos nodded numbly, still reeling from the news. Kenna had been shot and he hadn’t been there. Immediately he remembered the way they had parted, the horrible things they had said and how he had walked off without saying goodbye.
What if that was the last time he ever saw her? No, it couldn’t be. She wasn’t going to die. She couldn’t, because he didn’t know how he would survive without her.
—
Diavolos burst into his bedroom, having been told Kenna was recovering there. He needed to see her, needed to assure himself that she was alive.
The whole trip home, his mind had been playing all these terrible worst case scenarios. His horrible words haunting him, along with terrifying images of a life without Kenna.
“Papa!” As soon as he entered the room, Leon ran into his arms quickly followed by Rys and Adriana.
“Papa’s here,” he assured them, hugging them tightly. A quick glance around the room for Livia found her being held in Annelyse’s arms, near the window.
The other woman gave him a sympathetic look and then stepped forward. “Give Papa a moment,” she told the children, “and why don’t we go play a game?” There was a chorus of excited voices and the kids rushed out of the room, followed by Annelyse and Dom, who’s presence Diavolos hadn’t even picked up on until he patted his shoulder on his way out.
“Diavolos?” A voice asked from the bed.
He rushed to his wife’s side and saw her sitting up in the bed, looking pale but alive. “I’m here, my love.” He assured her, clutching her hand in his.
“I should have listened to you,” she told him. “You were right about the rebels.”
“Maybe, but I shouldn’t have stormed off like that,” he told her, “the whole way here all I could think was, what if I lost you? What if the last words between us were angry ones? It would have destroyed me. I love you Kenna and I can’t, I don’t want to imagine life without you.”
“Me either,” she told him, looking at him softly. She sighed. “I just… I wanted to believe that peace was possible, to handle things the way my mother would have and I refused to see the truth and I took it out on you, instead. I regretted it as soon as you left.”
“The whole time I was away, I was thinking about you, missing you.” He told her, running a hand over her face. “And then I heard you’d be injured… I just… It was one of the worst moments of my entire life.”
“It’s over,” Kenna assured him, she patted the bed beside her. “Hold me?”
“Of course,” he said, getting up and climbing into the bed. He settled as gently as he could, not wanting to hurt her and then carefully gathered her in his arms. As he held her, he silently thanked the gods for giving him the chance to do so. “I love you.” He whispered into her hair.
“I love you too,” she assured him, gazing up at him, “and even when we fight, even when it’s ugly, I still love you and I know you still love me. That will never change.”
“Never.” Diavolos agreed, but he silently vowed that they would never have another parting like that one. He knew there would be other fights, their natures guaranteed it, but never again would he just leave like that. Not after the reminder he’d gotten on how precious life really was and how hollow it would be without her.
- The End
