Holding Her + Loving You (Part 3-NSFW)

Disclaimer: The following is a fictional adaptation based on Choices The Freshman. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Zig Ortega, Tyler, Abbie, Kaitlyn, Zack or the location Hartfeld University. All other characters, the story line and events were originally developed by me.

Author’s Note:  Contains mature situations and language. The following is an adaptation of The Freshman. The events and timeline will differ slightly from the game play.

Part 3

The charismatic smirk on his lips was neither cocky nor boastful. The faint arching of his eyebrow was more out of custom than a taunt. There was no malice in his words or his tone when he spoke them. Zig Ortega was simply stating a fact: MC talked about Chris Powell all the time.

She spoke of him in the way only a woman who truly loves a man can. There was always a hint of delight in her face each time she had the opportunity to bring him up, as if saying his very name was a reminder that he was really hers. At least that’s how it was in the early days of her encounters with Zig.

Now, MC still spoke of Chris in only the way a past paramour could. Her words laced with a lover’s lament, plagued with self-doubt in the wake of her decision to end their relationship and a longing to speak his name to soothe the part of her that still needed him to be hers.

Zig gave an attentive ear, sometimes sitting with her silently for several minutes on his breaks as she repeated stories he had already heard dozens of times before about Chris’s neglect and haphazard care with her heart. He had offered her a shoulder to cry on never realizing just how long that may be.

Chris suddenly feels an aching in his jawbone. His teeth had been clinched tightly as he stood across the counter from Zig, unaware for several breaths as a feeling he was unaccustomed to tickled its way up rigid fingers, taut arms and rendered his neck and shoulders as stiff and unmovable as an oak tree.

There is a slight reddening of his skin at his collar bone as his blood heats.

He looks at Zig and gives an unintentional but audible sigh, his breath expelling the anger he feels.  It is the type of sigh that gives his entire body relief. Chris licks his lips and shakes his head.

“I’m sure she’s had a lot to say about me lately,” he says looking Zig directly in the eye.

If this statement was dangled before him like a bait and hook, Zig is not sure. He chooses not to bite as silently the two men study each other, both curious as to what the other is thinking. Zig rest his hands on the counter and leans forward.

“What can I get you?” he asks.

“Macchiato,” Chris replies flatly.

“You sticking around or is this to go?” Zig asks.

Chris tilts his head. “To go would be best.”

Zig punches a few buttons rapidly into the cash register. “$4.38.”

Chris pulls out his wallet, sliding his card into the reader in front of him. He focuses on the little contraption as if it is the most interesting piece of technology ever crafted by man, anything to keep from looking at and talking to Zig. The register stutters with the digitized printing of a receipt as Zig rips it away and hands it to Chris. He takes it silently before walking off. Chris takes a seat at a table near the window.

The whirl of the espresso machine is like background music Chris can faintly make out as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. There is a new text message from Tori.

Big piece of cheesecake reserved for Chris Powell tonight at the Knights’ Roundtable

Chris stares at the message for a long time, running his thumb over the screen of his phone absentmindedly. He does not know if he wants to see her tonight. It’s been a long week and though he doesn’t want to be at the suite, he doesn’t want to spend another night avoiding his own bed either. He’s tired but not just from a lack of sleep.

Chris feels the kind of tired that comes when the mind and heart are exhausted. The love games he has played with both MC and now Tori have drained the vitality from this college athlete. He feels world weary, over-burdened, and he hates to admit it to himself but also, depressed.

When his ex-girlfriend Nicole dumped him in high school, he thought then he knew what it felt like to suffer a broken heart. He was sure in the wake of her blindsiding end, he would never know a hurt that deeply again.

There is an entirely different pain that comes with heartbreak as the result of your own careless hands and Chris feels it now. He looks back at Zig. Steam blows out from the bottom of the espresso machine as he works the cup in quick circles underneath a spout.

Chris wants to blame him. He stares him down, examining every part of Zig’s visage. He gives a superficial assessment and he wants this Danny Zuko knock-off with the bad boy tattoo and stereotypical cigarettes to be the reason. He wants him to be the black-caped villain that made off with his girl.

But Chris knows with an agonizing self-awareness that he and he alone is the reason.

He puts his phone down on the table and rests his head in his hands. The pads of his hands press against his eyelids as he massages them slowly and groans.

The soft thump of rubber hitting the tiled floor gives him pause and he looks up when the sound stops beside his table. Zig holds out the covered coffee cup, his face stoic.

“Here man,” Zig says with a nod.

Chris reaches out and takes it, sitting the cup on the table. He grabs his backpack about to slide it onto his arms but he is stopped.

“Look Chris, if you got time, why don’t you make that order for here….” Zig says wincing slightly as he slowly tosses his head from side to side.

“Why would I want to do that?” Chris frowns as he looks up at him.

Zig looks around the coffee shop. All of the customers are busy at tables either gabbing away or typing on their computers or phones.

“I’ve got a little bit of time to talk and…I thought we should. There’s some stuff you probably need to hear, man to man,” Zig offers.

Chris’s brow creases deeply. His blue eyes narrow. “You mean about MC?”

“Yeah. Look, I want you to know, I respected your relationship with her and so did she,” Zig begins. He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his apron, rocking back and forward on his feet as he talks. “She mentioned that you thought something was going on with us and…I just wanted you to know, I didn’t go there man. I’m not in the business of hooking up with other guy’s girls. MC isn’t like that either. You never had a reason not to trust her,” Zig explains. He gives a slight shoulder shrug as he nods with affirmation.

Chris leans back in his chair, draping an arm over the back. He sticks his tongue in his cheek as he continues to listen.

“Since I met her, it’s been Chris this and Chris that,” Zig emphasizes. “

“So… you’re saying you aren’t interested in her?” Chris cocks a brow.

Zig chuckles a bit and tugs at his cheek a few times, looking down at the ground. “Uh…I didn’t say that exactly,” he grins slightly and looks over at Chris again trying to wipe it from his face. “I mean…I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her. I don’t have to tell you, MC is fine.” His eyes widen as he lifts both brows and looks at Chris. “Not trying to be disrespectful. If she had wanted to move on, I would have been open to it but it’s too soon for her and…MC is clearly in love with someone else still.”

Chris remains silent as he stares up at Zig. His honesty is refreshing and astounding. He owes Chris nothing but yet he is giving him his time and attention. He is struck again by the thought that he likes Zig. Even when MC introduced them briefly at the sorority party weeks before, Chris felt like he was meeting a kindred spirit. Their hellos were brief before MC planted the seeds in Chris’s brain for an initiative to help other students like him and Zig.

“She told me she mentioned something to you that gave you an idea for some type of new school program?”

“Yeah,” Chris nods. “That night at the Kappa Phi Sigma House, she was telling me about you and later she pulled me aside with some ideas. It grew in my mind from there,” Chris says.

“MC was upset that you kind of bailed on her that night,” Zig admits. At this Chris’s back straightens.

“Why are you telling me all this? Chris frowns again, irritability in his tone. “Reminding me of how I screwed up with her?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do here at all,” Zig says. He looks around, his eyes searching for any sign of his manager. He grabs the chair from the other side of the table and flips it around, taking a seat and folding his arms across the chair back. “Chris, you seem like a good dude. We’ve got a lot in common based on what MC told me. I think you’re just a good dude who fucked up with his girl,” Zig states, gesturing with his hand matter-of-factly.  “I like MC, I do. She’s one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met. She’s confided a lot of things to me. Which is how I know how she feels about you. Helping you, is helping her. I haven’t known her long but…I’d do anything for her really.”

Chris exhales deeply and turns his head staring out the window.

“Why can’t you just be an asshole and that would make this a lot easier?” He huffs and closes his eyes for a minute.

Zig gives a low chuckle. “I can say some bro stuff if that would help?”

Chris shakes his head again turning to look at Zig. “Nah. Look, I appreciate it. I thought there was a lot more than friendship going on with you and MC even though she said that’s all it was. I thought…I  thought she was moving on already.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“She seems to think you have. She uh….” Zig hesitates, licking his lips as he fumbles with how to bridge his next words.

“She what?” Chris asks, resting his elbows on the table.

“She said you were seeing someone else?” Zig puts his hands up. “No judgment from me, just…It hurt her. She was pretty upset the other day when she stopped by to talk. I can’t tell you what she said, that’s not fair to her but…man to man, she was pretty broken up over it.”

At Zig’s use of the word “hurt” Chris feels a tightening in his chest. Remorse crinkles the corners of his eyes and he looks down. The soft groan is almost discernable but Zig hears it.

“I met this girl…a couple of nights after MC dumped me. She’s funny, she’s sweet, she’s gorgeous: Blonde, dimples, eyelashes and stems for days. If the situation was different, I would be with her, no doubt, but….”

“She’s not MC,” Zig says with understanding.

“Exactly. It’s almost, like, she’s too good to be true or something. I don’t know, that probably doesn’t make sense. I’m bitchin’ about a hot girl that’s into me and on paper is perfect,” Chris pulls at his ear lobe as he thinks.

“No, maybe she is,” Zig says.

“Huh?” Chris frowns lifting his eyes back to his apparent new acquaintance.

“Maybe she is too good to be true, at least for right now. You are the star quarterback of a college, president of the student body right?”

Chris nods.

“There are girls that would do anything for a chance at a guy like you. I’m not big on the college scene but I’ve heard people talk about them, you know, those girls that are here just to get there MRS degree.  Those girls out here to snag the perfect husband. Maybe if you feel like this girl is just too perfect to be real, that’s because she wants you to see her that way.”

Chris stares at Zig.

“Then again, what do I know? I could be wrong and she could really be great. But, what I do know is that MC loves you still. If you are planning at all to try and fix things with her, then, this other girl,” Zig motions with his thumb, jutting it behind him. “Gotta go.”

Chris nods slowly as he thinks.

“You still want to be with MC?” Zig asks.

“Zig!” A bellow rings out from the other side of a door behind the counter. His head whips around and on instinct he stands.

“That’s my manager, I better get back to it,” Zig says rising to his feet. “But, do you?”

Chris sighs. “I never wanted to lose her in the first place.”

“Then fix it. You can make it right again.” Zig pats his shoulder before heading back around the counter and standing near the register. Chris slides his backpack over his shoulders and grabs the coffee cup. He holds it up in an appreciative salute to Zig. The gesture is returned with a head nod before Chris turns and leaves the coffee shop.

All he could think of 30 minutes ago was getting a caffeine fix to jump start the rest of his evening. Now all he can think of are Zig’s words. “Fix it” “She is clearly in love with someone else still” and ultimately “the other girl gotta go.”

He truly wonders if he can set things right. He believed when MC broke up with him that they were over for good. He sought solace and comfort in the arms of someone who seemed more than happy to give him just that. She did and said all of the right things: she was too perfect.

MC was by no means perfect but she was perfectly the woman for Chris. He thinks of the last time they spoke, the tears that rolled over her cheeks as she shouted at him: “You abandoned me!”  she had hurled at him in her despair.

What had he done? Left her to lie in bed with another.

At the time it seemed like the best decision for him. He wanted to be anywhere but near the reminder of his shortcomings. But now he saw the recklessness of his ways and he hates it. Chris hates this part of himself. He hates the part that needs to feel love, the gaping hole in his heart that never seemed to be filled until MC came into his life. She had used the term “abandoned” something Chris was all too familiar with.

As he heads across campus he chunks the coffee cup into a trash can.

***

Still coming by?

Standing on the darkened sidewalk, his face is illuminated by the incandescent glow of his cellphone. A few feet ahead, a lamp casts a dim orange light that stops on the pavement just a hair ahead of the toes of his shoes. Moths swirl around the lamp post and crickets chirp under the night time sky. They provide the only sounds on the eerily still and quiet campus. It’s Friday night and there is a pureness to the silence that has fallen on Hartfeld University after a day of chaotic rumblings from coeds.

Chris rereads the text. He never replied to her first message from earlier in the day and he is certain she is concerned.

He had headed to the study hall of their dorm to examine more documents on the schools admission policy hoping for a loophole. He no longer found the task burdensome, buoyed now by more of a desire to help others like Zig Ortega. Zig had said helping him was helping MC. Though he would not acknowledge it, a part of him hoped that helping Zig would help him win back the good graces of MC.

Zig’s words preyed upon Chris’s psyche like a hawk on a field mouse. MC loved him. His hurt and resentment had twisted her love into something vile, something monstrous and predatory in his mind. It was never real. He foolishly had talked himself into believing those words. It was the only way he could cope with her absence.

“Fix it,” Zig had encouraged. Why in God’s name would MC take him back now? Now that he had bedded someone else. He prayed for a miracle. He had to at least try. He could beg, plead, grovel if he had to. Some divine intervention was also worth a shot. Silently he lifts his eyes to the heavens, a plea in his heart before he turns on his heels and strides towards the Knights’ Roundtable.

***

Tori Michaels is the personification of despondency as she sits at one of the bistro’s empty tables. Her feet hurt, her lower back screams at her on occasion this night, and there was no point in standing behind the register any longer. There hadn’t been a single customer on her entire shift. She looks down at the cellphone in front of her. The screen remains black and the silence from the device mocks her.

He has not written her back all day.

She considers calling him but she refuses to lower herself to being that girl. She wrings her hands and huffs, grabbing the phone and checking her Instagram.

The bell over the door jingles, signaling that there is life on campus after all. The door opens and Chris Powell steps inside. Tori looks back at him over her shoulder. She watches as his chest rises and falls with the deep breath he takes. She forces herself to give him a small smile. She is angry. She is baffled by his lack of response but gives him the benefit of the doubt.

“Hi,” she says trying to sound upbeat.  The small smile theatrically stretches into a larger one as she flashes her dimples at him.

“Hey,” he says as the door closes behind him. The bell jingles as the door slams back into the frame.

“Didn’t think you were coming,” Tori says, pushing her chair back and standing up. She turns to face him.

“Yeah….” Chris responds. His statement hangs in the air, not committing to answer her further or explain himself.

“Everything okay?” She asks stepping towards him. She stops half the distance in front of him. There is something she sees in him that is different. She can feel it too. It’s what halts her steps. This is not the lifeless, standoffish Chris that sulked into the bistro two weeks ago. This Chris seems burdened by something far more adverse for Tori.

“Yeah….” He repeats and stares at her.

“Okay,” Tori says incredulously as she wrings her hands. She thinks for a moment and then pushes out another smile. “Well hey, I promised you if you came by a big piece of cheesecake and I am a woman of my word!” She lifts a hand in the air, placing the other over her heart as if making a vow. “Let me get it, have a seat! Kind of busy tonight, gonna be hard to find an open spot but you’re a VIP so I can get you in.” She winks and laughs lightly before she heads towards the counter.

“Tori don’t,” Chris says stopping her. She looks back to him, her face crestfallen and puzzled. She hears his vexation.

Chris watches as frown lines wrinkle her brow. “What’s going on Chris?” Tori asks softly, trying to keep her own emotions at bay. “I haven’t heard from you all day and then you walk in without even explaining why you hadn’t text me back. So, what’s up?”

“I don’t need you to keep going out of your way to do stuff for me Tori. The cheesecake, staying at your apartment, the….”

“Sex?” He watches as a perfectly groomed brow steeply arches as she stares him down.

“Yeah, that too,” he shrugs. “Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, what’s in it for you?”

“What’s in it for me?” She questions, dumbstruck by his words.

“Yeah, what is it you want from me? To be my girlfriend? Or to date the school’s quarterback?”

Tori scoffs loudly, her mouth falling open as her eyes dance wildly. “Are you serious right now?”

“One hundred percent serious,” Chris shoves his hands into his pockets, his chin lifting slightly as he challenges her.

“I’m not in it for anything other than I like you!” Tori retorts. She gasps in disbelief.

“Really? What about all that stuff with Michelle? The ‘Please Pound Me Powell’ and all of that? I heard you two talking, seems like my name has come up between you more than once and long before we even met,” he shrugs slightly.

“Let me be clear first of all on what it is that you are accusing me of here,” Tori says putting her hands on her hips and shaking her head. “You think I’m some god damn football groupie or something?”

Chris sticks his tongue in his cheek, his brows jerking upward quickly in response to her question before his lips flatten in a tight, thin line.

“Wow….” Tori says. Her hands drop slowly from her hips and she turns away from him pacing to the other side of the bistro. Her hands go to the sides of her head as she pushes her hair back, walking slowly to calm herself. When she turns around to face Chris, her eyes glisten with tears.

Chris’s head jerks back slightly. She opens her mouth to speak, shaky hands reaching out in front of her before she drops them again, as if she is trying to grasp anything that makes sense.

“Where is all of this coming from?” she asks, her voice thick.

“It’s just, whatever this was between us, this no strings thing and being friends as you called it, it just seems a little unreal to me now. Things moved really fast with you and now that I’ve had time to stop and look at things, I’m questioning a lot that has happened.”

Tori gulps and shakes her head. “But do you have any idea how that makes me feel for you to stand here now and basically tell me you think I’m some cleat chaser?”

Before Chris can answer she continues.

“I like you Chris, I really, really like you. I told you the first night you came in here exactly what I thought of you. That I thought you were good looking and that I was attracted to you. I have been nothing but clear and honest with you from the start,” Tori says. Her hands continue to shake as she feels a combination of heartache and rage pulsate within.

“It just moved too fast,” Chris says. “I’m not…I’m not over MC. I told you that. I was honest too.”

“And when she walked away from you, I was the one standing right here for you,” Tori says shaking her head. “She didn’t appreciate what she had with you and she ended it. If I’m guilty of anything it’s of trying to make you feel better after what she did!”

“I know….” He admits softly.

“Then how the hell does that make me the bad guy?” Tori shouts. “You think I was playing with you? Using you?”

“I don’t-“

“That’s what you just said!” Tori snaps. She bites her lip and then huffs as it trembles. “This is so stupid. We’ve known each other for what, like all of two weeks, and somehow, this hurts. You standing there completely fucking unphased and accusing me, it hurts! I have done nothing to deserve this!”

Chris stops himself from speaking as he watches her.

“I thought you and I had connected,” Tori says wiping underneath an eye with her index finger. “Why are you standing there so cold right now?” Her eyes return to him for a fleeting moment, sorrow returning to them.  “We make each other laugh, we have a good time. Who cares if there isn’t a name for it. We were just doing and saying what felt good and felt right. I thought you liked me Chris,” she says in a hush before trailing off.

“I do like you Tori,” Chris nods. “But, I love MC. I’m sorry.”

Tori stares at him blankly. Tears still brim at her eyelids but she blinks them away. “So I was the girl in your arms, but she is the girl in your heart?”

Chris looks down at the floor.

“Well, that’s that then, huh?” She licks at her teeth as she takes a steadying breath, she looks to the side to keep the tears from rolling out.

“Goodbye, Tori,” Chris says. He turns away and grasps the handle to the bistro door. The bell jingles as he exits leaving Tori all on her own again.

***

“MC!” Chris throws the door to the suite open as he pulls his key from the knob.

The suite is still. There common area is vacant and only the light over the stove is on. The hallways are dark as he slams the door behind him and searches for any sign of her.

His hurried steps stop as he realizes it is too still and quiet for anyone to be home.

“Shit,” he says to himself and sighs deeply.

His backpack drops off his shoulders and lands on the floor with a thud. He leans across the kitchen bar and rubs his forehead, slick with sweat. “Damnit,” he mumbles to himself.

After leaving Tori at the Knights’ Roundtable Chris ran across campus. He began to sweat in the humid spring night as his feet pounded over the pavement, trying to make his way home to her as fast as he could.

He had given himself a pep talk. He could do this. Maybe she wouldn’t take him back that night, maybe it would be weeks before she would even consider it but he had to try. He had to vow to her that he would be a better man, that he was sorry, sorrier for hurting her than he had ever been for anything in his entire life. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to her if she would just give him another chance.

“Chris?” he hears from behind him. His head jerks up and she is there. He was so lost in thought he did not hear her bedroom door open. She is wearing a simple black camisole and grey lounge pants but to Chris, she looks like an angel.

“MC, you’re here,” he says astounded. “I thought the place was empty.”

“Kaitlyn is with The Gutter Kittens and Zack went with Tyler and Abbie to a movie,” she explains. She plays with the drawstring on the front of her pants.

“You didn’t want to go?” Chris asks.

“No,” she says softly and looks down at her bare feet. “I just kind of wanted to be by myself tonight.”

“MC,” Chris breathes out. His breath comes in spurts, a carryover from his run across campus and now the anxiousness he feels with her standing before him. MC peers up at him, noticing the wetness of his shirt collar and his damp hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that you are alone tonight and for every other night that I left you all on your own. I’m sorry MC.”

“Chris, I can’t do this with you tonight,” MC puts a hand up. “I just can’t. I’m tired. I’m so, so tired.”

His features buckle slightly as she speaks. “I know that it’s my fault: All of it. I hurt you MC,” he gulps. His voice cracks betraying his male resolve. “I can’t forgive myself for a miracle. I’m asking that you forgive me and let me be the boyfriend to you that I promised I would be.”

“Chris,” MC shakes her head vigorously and turns her back to him. “I told you, I can’t tonight,” she says taking a step towards the hall.

“Baby, please,” Chris says. He takes one quick step and is behind her. The nearness of him is like a magnet, pulling her towards him even as she tries to pull away. His hands seize her hips to stop her.

“If I ever made you feel like you were nothing, listen to me now when I tell you that you are my everything,” Chris says pulling her hips back and towards him. His chest presses against her back as he draws her closer. He cannot see her face. If he could he would know the torturous effect his touch and pleas are having on her.

She leans back against his chest, her eyes closing as the familiar heat of his body tickles the tiny hairs on her skin. Her head rests back near his heart and she swears she can hear it like a thunderous drum inside his chest.

“You broke what we had Chris,” He feels her shake her head and something inside him crumbles. “If you had just been my boyfriend who got too absorbed into other things, I maybe could forgive that and give you another chance,” she says. “But…you barely let the sheets get cold before you had another girl. How am I supposed to forget that and move on?”

MC turns around, Chris’s hands still on her hips. When she looks up at him, he is ghostly pale. Were it not for the warmth of his hands around her, she would be inclined to take his pulse. The blood in his body seems to be retreating from her and her words.

“I…” he stammers. “I could tell you that it was nothing, but, that isn’t fair to you either. It was something, something that caused you more pain and…I hate myself for that. I’m not going to downplay what sleeping with her did to us, MC. I ended things with her, for good. I told her how I feel about you, that you are the only one I want. I swear to you, I really believed there was no chance for us again. When you ended it, I wrote everything we had off and that you were done with me. It was nothing more than a rebound. I was hurting and…I didn’t know any other way to feel better. Plus, I really believed you had something going on with Zig. I’m sorry, I should have trusted you more.”

“So, this is what we are now? You think I do wrong so you go and do wrong?” MC frowns.

“No,” Chris says exasperated. “I’m not saying that and I’m not making excuses. I screwed up. I destroyed us, you’re right.  I took our love and I smashed it. But the pieces are still there MC,” Chris reaches up and touches her cheek. She flinches when he touches her. Her instinct is to take a step back. When his palm flattens against her soft skin, she closes her eyes. The familiar caress feels like home.

She suddenly shakes her head no, wrenching herself free of his grasp.

“No….” she says solemnly. “I can’t. I can’t forgive you and move on from this. I can’t.”

Chris looks at her face in the dimly lit suite. MC’s shadow casts itself behind her in a black silhouette against the wall. Chris’s gaze shifts to the wall and he stares at it. He feels their love is now like that shadow, a dark reflection of something once beautiful and bright.

“I had to try….” He whispers. He tries to steel his chin as his bottom lip quivers faintly. He swallows, his tongue feeling thick and dry, but the lump in his throat rises. “I’m sorry MC. I really am. Maybe someday you will forgive me and…we can at least be friends again.” She hears not the powerful voice of a young man whose very nature is to lead, but a wounded little boy blindly optimistic.

He turns to head to his bedroom, stepping around her when he feels her hand on his arm. He stops, turning and staring back at her curiously. She sees even in the darkness of the hall the shimmer of his tears.

“I….” MC begins and frowns. She has no idea what she is doing. Every corner of her brain is screaming at her Don’t you fool! But every beating part of her heart is saying Yes, you fool.

“I’m so mad at you,” MC breathes out, clutching his arms. “I felt so much rage and pain because of you,” she chews her lip as she fights back her own tears. “I want to hate you but I love you too much,” she lets out a pained laugh as her face crumbles and she begins to weep.

“MC,” Chris breathes out and wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly against him as she sobs. His own eyes drip with tears. The embrace tightens as he holds hers. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeats.

They did not know how long they stood that way, clinging to one another and sobbing. The purge of their joint pain only eased by the feel of each other’s bodies.

“Tell me how to fix it,” Chris says in her ear. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Anything if you it means having you back.”

“It’s going to take time,” she says. She pulls back and looks up into his face. His own is flushed and red. He cups her face in his hands.

“Okay, we will work our way back. I’ll do the work MC, I promise you.”

She nods and reaches up to wipe at her nose. Chris lets go of her face only for a moment before cupping it again.

“I love you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you enough.”

MC stares up into his eyes. He feels her relax against him. His declaration a balm for her entire soul. She looks up at him longing for the love they once had before, but knowing it will be forever changed. Still, there is hope for their future.

MC reaches up and touches her thumb to Chris’s lip. He kisses it tenderly as she brushes the soft plump flesh. He looks in her eyes, finding a silent plea in her gaze.

“You want me to make you feel better?” he asked.

She only nods her head. She cannot speak. Despite every reservation she has, she needs his touch. It had been missing from her life for far too long.

He takes her hand and leads her to his bedroom. He pulls her towards his bed and stops just at its edge.  He pulls her close to him and kisses her lips. She sighs against them and feels his tongue slip in to meet hers.

Chris begins to kiss her neck, the way he had quickly learned she liked on their very first night together, and she moans softly. Her hands tug at his shirt damp with sweat. He breaks the kiss long enough to take the shirt off and his lips press against hers again. She runs her hand up his stomach and can feel each muscle tighten at her touch. His hands move to the bottom of her camisole. He pulls over her head before reaching down and pulling the tie of the drawstring on her pants free. He shoves them down along with her panties before he steps back to admire her body. What once was his has returned. She blushes a little, feeling so very exposed in front of him.

Chris reaches out and cups her breast gently in both hands. He squeezes them and bends his head, sucking one of her nipples into his mouth.  She moans again as he rolls and licks it.

MC reaches out and unbuttons his jeans and pulls the zipper down.  Chris steps away from her and kicks out of his shoes, throwing his socks somewhere into the pile of clothes now gathering on his floor and pushes his jeans down over his hips.

MC can see his hardness straining against his black boxer briefs. She reaches out and squeezes it. This time, he was the one moaning.

He kisses her lips once more and then lays her back onto his bed.  His body hovers over hers. He looks down at her for one more nod of approval.  She responds by sliding her hands over his shoulders and pulling him down on top of her.

He kisses her lips, her neck, down over her breasts. He places feather kisses on her stomach. She was taking deep breaths and writhing beneath him.

“Spread your legs for me,” he says looking up at her.

She does as she is told and he moans as he watches her.  He sticks his tongue out and swipes it over her. “Ungh!” She groans. He put his hands on her thighs to keep her from clinching her legs together.

He presses his tongue to her again, this time making a long slow journey over her. “Chris, uhhhh,” he hears her say.

Encouraged by her response, he continues to lick her, a finger entering her as he continues his work with his mouth. She arches her back and gasps.

“You’re going to make me cum,” she breathes out.

He moans against her and continues to lick her. He puts another finger inside her and pumps it in and out as he licks at her. When an orgasm seizes her, she couldn’t hold in her cries any longer. Her body jerks, her legs trembling as she cries out in ecstasy.

Chris kisses her thighs and sits up and looks at her.  She peeks at him through half closed eyes as she regains her breath. He takes off his boxers and kisses her lips. She can taste herself.

“So sweet,” he whispers to her. “I missed the taste of you MC.”

She reaches down and takes him into her hand. He shuts his eyes for a moment and moans. Her hand moves slowly at first then quickly begins to stroke him.   She sits up, ready to return the favor but he stops her.

“Tonight it’s about you,” he says. She lays back and MC looks at his throbbing member.  The head was red. She is ready to feel him inside her again. She honestly cannot remember the last time they made love. He grabs one of her legs and drapes it over his back as he pushes inside her. Still sensitive from her orgasm, the feel of him inside her is magnified.

“Ah, ungh,” she moans out.

He works himself in and out of her, pulling all the way out and pushing deeply back inside her.

“MC, it feels so good,” he says. He buries his face in her neck and she wraps her arms and legs around him.  He pumps at a steady pace and she feels the rush of pressure to her womanhood.

“You’re going to make me cum again,” she says into his ear.

“Yes baby, cum for me,” he says and kisses her.  He pumps a little faster and reaches down to rub her.

“Chris!” She cries out. Her legs shake wildly and he feels her inner walls tighten around him. The room is filled with the sounds of his hips smacking down against hers and her cries of pleasure.

She sounds so sexy and feels so good, Chris is pushed over the edge.  “MC!” he shouts out as he comes.  He moans loudly and then his body shakes hard. He lets his body weight rest on top of her as he tries to recover.

She holds him tightly and kisses the side of his face. He rises up on his hands and looks at her.

“Did I make you feel better?” he asks already knowing the answer.

“Very much so,” she say touching his cheek.

They lay together for a while before he pulls out of her. He rolls over and pulls back the curtains letting in the moonlight.  He flips a switch, letting their surroundings go dark, the bed illuminated by the moons glow. He pulls the sheets up over them.

“Come here,” he says gently. She lays her head on his shoulder and he plays with her fingers for a long time.

“Chris, I…I know we just…you know slept together but, I meant what I said about this taking time. I, I love you, I do. We both still feel that. But…we’ve got to really communicate and work through some things. It’s going to take time.”

Chris pauses but she feels him nod slowly. “Like I said, I’ll do whatever it takes. I love you. That hasn’t changed for me. I just appreciate how much I do now.”

“I love you too and we both have work to do to make this better,” MC says softly.  “But at least now we know we have a tomorrow,” she says with a yawn.

“Goodnight MC,” he finally whispers. He hears her breathing deeply and knows she is fast asleep.