Tippy’s note: See what had happened was, I was supposed to post this here and Tumblr and I only posted it there. Sorry. It’s here now. I had one idea of what was going to happen and the characters had a different plan. I kind of went with it and this is where I ended up. Lot’s of flashbacks. Again like Part 2, this focuses more on Halle than Liam. Don’t worry he is coming and the real fun begins. Anway, hope you like this one.
Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.
At least 11 years ago…
Halle and Rhon-Ron were laying under the big oak tree. If they looked downhill, they could see the Freedom Baptist Church. Whenever they needed to just talk, hang, make-out and just generally needed a place to be away from everyone but each other, this was where they went.
Rhon was laying on the grass using his hoodie as a pillow while Halle was using him as her pillow, her box braids splayed across his chest. The copious shade of the tree gave them plenty of protection from the late-summer heat.
“Do you have to go Halle?”
“Well if I tell my dad that I don’t want to go to NYU, he will be upset about the orientation that he paid for.”
“You could have gone to A&T. It would have still pissed off your mom.”
Halle sighed. “It’s not just about my mom.”
“But that is a part of it.”
While her mother’s disapproval was nice, it wasn’t the reason Halle told her parents she wanted to go to NYU even though up until her, they were a strict Howard family.
Her parents met and fell in love at Howard, they graduated from there, her older brother Hakim graduated from there a year before. To ask her parents there would be no Berrys if there wasn’t a Howard.
When Halle got her acceptance letter in the mail, the tradition continuing was a foregone conclusion. Then that night happened, and everything took a hard left.
Halle turned to look at Rhon. If you looked at him, you couldn’t tell that a few months ago he had massive swelling over his right eye from an orbital fracture.
“It’s not that simple. I am tired of being here, of having to explain my existence, of having to be afraid all of the time. I just want to be somewhere else.”
“Are you tired of me?”
“What? Never,” Halle said. She reached out to caress his face. “I love you Rhon. I always will. I just can’t stay here.”
As much as she knew that her decision to go so far away for college hurt him, she needed to do it. Halle couldn’t stay and be sane.
Now…
Halle took Rhon in. He was very tall, could stand eye to eye with Liam, which is saying something. Rhon wasn’t the wiry kid she left when she went to NYU. He was lean, but not bony. His skin was exactly like Mama Reed’s, his dark umber skin was smooth and only served to highlight his large round eyes. The same ones that Jaleesa had. His hair was recently coiled like he was about to start growing locs.
Mama Reed came out from the kitchen to greet her grandson. Rhon still was holding his daughter while he and Halle stared at each other. She placed a kiss on his cheek that went unnoticed.
“Look Rhon. Halle’s back. Doesn’t she look beautiful?”
“Yeah, Nana. She does.” He lowered Jaleesa to the ground. “She always has.”
Halle hid a small bashful smile.
“Halle, you and Rhon-Ron can catch up over dinner.”
“I don’t know if I can–”
“Nonsense, Halle Yvette.” Mama Reed interrupted. “You are staying for dinner.”
“Yes, Mama,” Halle reflexively replied.
“You two should talk. Jaleesa could help me finish up dinner. Come Jaleesa.” The older woman gestured for Rhon’s daughter to come follow her.
“Okay, I guess they can’t just kiss and make up in front of me.”
“Jaleesa,” Mama Reed warned.
“Sorry, Nana.” The girl quickly followed the older woman to the kitchen. Rhon and Halle’s gaze followed her.
“Your daughter is certainly an interesting one,” Halle said.
“People used to say that about you.” He turned to look at Halle. “Still do actually.”
Rhon pulled Halle in for a tight embrace. They held each other for several moments before finally separating.
“It’s been a long time since we last saw each other. Or spoke.”
“It certainly has,” Halle said. “How have you been? What have you been up to?”
“You know. Surviving. Raising Jaleesa. I’m a mechanic, now.”
“You did always have a way with cars.”
“How about you Hal?”
“Me?” Halle put her hand on her nape. “Well, I was in New York for a while, which you already know, somehow ended up in Europe for a bit, needed a break, and now I am here.”
“Europe? Where in Europe?”
“You wouldn’t know it. It this tiny country called Cordonia. It’s off the coast of Greece.”
Rhon’s eyes narrowed, racking his brain for information that wasn’t there. “You’re right. I don’t know it.”
Halle shrugged. “Neither did I.”
“How did you end up there?”
“It’s a long story. Multiple volumes really.”
“I can tell. You get this look on your face when you talk about it. Like you are happy but exhausted. Like how Shay used to look when Jaleesa was a baby.”
“Shay?” Halle raised one of her eyebrows. “Not Shay Walters. That’s Jaleesa’s mother?”
“Yeah,” Rhon admitted. “It just sort of happened. I mean, it’s not like we were talking at the time.” He paused for a moment before adding, “No point in waiting for you.”
Halle flinched at Rhon directness. “Right.”
Jaleesa ran into the living room. “Daddy, Miss Halle, dinner is ready. Also, Nana told me to give this to Miss Halle.”
The child held a diamond ring. Rhon’s face fell as he looked at its brilliance. Halle gave a nervous chuckle.
“I took it off before I washed your hair. I must have left it by the sink.”
He gave Halle a careful look. “No point waiting.”
They joined his daughter and Mama Reed at the dinner table. Mama Reed offered grace, and everyone ate. Tonight’s dinner wasn’t a whole Sunday feast, but it was still a reminder of home. She made a green bean casserole, cornbread, and fried chicken.
“Mmmmm,” Halle said as she bit into the chicken. “I missed this.”
“Lemme guess,” Rhon smirked. “They don’t have southern fried chicken in Caldona.”
She finished chewing her bite before correcting, “It’s Cordonia, and they do not. Most frying is actually pan-seared.”
“Cordonia?” Mama Reed asked.
“Don’t worry Nana. It’s a secret European country around Greece.”
“It’s no secret. Just small.”
“Well, it’s certainly big enough for you to have that rock on your finger.”
Halle nervously twisted the ring on her finger.
“I didn’t want to pry earlier Halle, but are you engaged?”
“Yes,” She paused while looking at the ring. “No.” A small frown appeared on her face as she shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
Mama Reed had a frown of her own, “I see.”
The adults fell silent as Jaleesa’s utensils echoed in the room.
“Everyone is quiet now.” The child smack her mouth making sure that it did not have any food in it before continuing. “Does this mean I can talk?”
“Just what do you have to say, Leesa?”
“I wanted to ask Miss Halle if there were king and queens in Cordia like they have in England.”
“Sorry about that Hal,” Rhon explained. “Jaleesa is going through a princess stage, and she is obsessed with royalty.”
Halle nodded. “Oh. Yes, Jaleesa. Cordonia has a king. The king doesn’t have a queen yet.”
“When will he get one? A king can’t rule without a queen. He would be lonely.”
Halle’s smile faded away as she thought of Liam. She wondered what Liam was doing right now. How upset he would be with her for leaving. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind, returning to dinner and Jaleesa’s question.
“He might get one. We will just have to see.”
Another awkward silence fell on the room. Halle didn’t know how to begin to explain her time in Cordonia to Rhon and Mama Reed who barely knew the country existed let alone reveal that Cordonia has a brokenhearted king and it’s all her fault.
The rest of dinner went on quietly. Afterward, Rhon packed up Jaleesa to go to their home.
“Will I see you again Miss Halle?” Jaleesa asked.
“I hope so. If I do go back…” Halle paused for a moment. She didn’t know where she would go if she weren’t going to stay in North Carolina. She wasn’t ready to consider returning to Cordonia, but New York didn’t feel quite right either.
“If I leave, I will be sure to see you before I go.”
The young girl smiled as she got in the backseat of Rhon’s car. He waved to Halle.
“It was nice seeing you. Maybe we should catch up sometime. Lay under the oak tree.”
“That would be nice.”
With that, he got into his car and drove off. Halle stood in the driveway and watched him leave. She stayed after his vehicle was out of sight. Mama Reed tapped her on the shoulder.
“Halle, you have something sittin’ on your spirit. You have been lost and adrift since I have laid eyes on you.”
Halle sighed.
“It’s late now, and you should be heading home, but do talk to someone,” the older woman urged, squeezing her shoulder. “You can’t find your way if you let whatever is weighing you down hold you back.”
Mama Reed embraced Halle and went back inside for the night.
***
Later that evening, Halle was driving home. It has been a long time since she had driven these roads at night. There was unease about being out here. Especially alone. Her eyes were on the road, but her mind was elsewhere.
She and Rhon-Ron were on their way back from the party. They took one of the back roads because it took them to the route towards both of their homes the fastest. Time was of the essence since they were already out past curfew.
“As long as nothing bad happens we should be home in about 15 minutes,” Rhon said as he put his foot on the gas.
“I’m sorry about my coat.”
“It’s no big deal, Hal,” Rhon said. He looked over at Halle. “I can’t have my lady coatless.”
Halle looked over at him and smiled as she put her hand on top of his on the gear shift. Rhon looked down before returning her smile. They made it to the main stretch of highway and were almost 10 minutes away from getting to their neighborhoods when they first saw the flashing lights. They kept driving since there was no indication that they should pull over. That was when the siren went off.
Halle brought her mind back to the present as she took the final turn into her neighborhood. Unlike New York, in North Carolina, the streets were dead quiet after 9PM. After living in “the city that never sleeps,” everywhere else was eerily silent in comparison. The only other time that Halle was met with this kind of unusual quietness was when she and Liam walked along the Seine late at night in Paris.
“Tu es l’amour de ma vie,” Liam said to her.
His gaze was soft and sincere, but the way his eyes never left her showed just how fervently he believed this. Days earlier she wanted to go but deemed herself too weak to do so. At that moment, however, she was under his spell. The genuine kindness and sincerity that Liam spoke to her with always resonated. Her mind, body, and soul were still drawn to him even when it hurt.
Halle was sitting in her parents’ driveway. She looked at her phone with the dozens of messages. She looked under his name in What’s App.
Liam: 17 new messages.
Her mind drifted back to their last night in Paris. In his private box.
“I know it hasn’t been easy Halle,” Liam said to her. “I just hope that in the end, the good parts are enough to make the hardships worth it.” He took her hand in his.
Halle kept her eyes focused on their joined hands before looking up at him. Her eyes were filled with as much uncertainty as their current predicament.
“Liam, we will have to see.”
His face fell, his eyes darted down to their hands. Seeing the hurt that her lack of confidence caused stabbed Halle in the heart. While the flash of pain he felt was hard for her to watch, she couldn’t lie to him and act like she was completely comfortable with where they are right now.
Liam took his other hand and made it so that both of his hands were wrapped around one of hers.
“I’ll do whatever I can to ensure that the rest of your time in Cordonia…your time with me makes up for it,” he pledged. His eyes were steadfast and serious.
Halle knew that Liam meant what he said. She knew that he would devote a lifetime making up for it if that is what it took. She just wasn’t sure if fate would let him, not that it mattered. Halle loved Liam too much to dwell on that. She wanted to focus on tonight and making sure there was a lifetime for them.
Halle clicked his name and started looking over some of the messages.
Why did you run away? Is it something I said? What did I do wrong?
Whatever it is, I’m sorry.
Please talk to me.
As she continued to read the messages her heart raced. She felt his fear and heartache. Halle looked up at her reflection in the rearview mirror. Her face illuminated by the phone. The woman in the mirror looked back at her. The reflection still poked at her insides. It’s eyes demanding an answer.
So was it worth it? Can you live with you?
Halle mulled it over in her head. All things considered, this could have ended much worse. Her time as the other woman, a side-chick, ended with her getting the man in the end. She won. She got the man, she is wearing his ring, and soon she will be his queen. Yet in the mirror, Halle saw anything but a winner let alone a queen in waiting.
She stopped returning her own stare and left the car. As soon as Halle entered the house, her mother was waiting for her. Joanne was sitting in Harrold’s Lazyboy, the recliner angled to the door. She was in her bedtime attire, reasonably priced satin pajamas, her nighttime skincare sinking into her skin, and her steely grey strands wrapped up in a scarf. The intensity of her gaze and the tightness in her jaw brought Halle right back to childhood. It was like she was late for curfew all over again. Joanne took a deep breath before she spoke.
“Halle, we need to talk. Please sit.”
The “please” was a formality, Halle knew that this wasn’t optional. She cautiously walked to the love seat as Joanne rotated her chair to face her.
“Did you have a nice time at Mama Reed’s? That is where you went isn’t it?”
“Yes, mother, I did see Mama Reed.”
“Was Rhon-Ron there? You know he has a daughter now, with Shay, and she is not out of the picture.”
“I am aware. I met his daughter Jaleesa. She is a lovely girl.” Halle narrowed her eyes.
“Did you want me to be bothered by this?”
“Not bothered. I just wanted to let you know what you would be signing up for if you and he started again.”
“I am not looking to start anything with Rhon right now. I just came home to take a breath and figure myself out.”
Halle and her mother have had plenty of arguments over the years. Joanne didn’t always dislike Rhon. When they were in high school, and Halle got the scholarship to Saint Mary’s was when her feelings about Rhon started to really change. That was when the upward mobility project started.
Hakim went through a similar thing when he was in his teens. Joanne wanted him to be seen with the right kind of girl. Someone with some pedigree and ambition. Hakim brought only one girl home, and she definitely did not fit Joanne’s ideal. Hakim just stopped, and Joanne never bothered him.
Halle was different. Hakim was happy to do as he pleased behind his mother. Her father gave his silent support. Halle did not want to have to do the same. Since Halle did not wish for to Rhon to be a secret, he became a thorn in her mother’s side to this day.
“I am not saying that you are going to, but just if you were–”
“I am not,” Halle interjected. “Mom you have always had this hang-up about Rhon. He is a good person. He didn’t do anything to you. Why do you have this ax to grind with him?”
“Rhon is good,” Joanne admitted before adding, “you deserve better.”
Halle took a deep breath.
“Halle you may think you are better than me because you don’t think about whether a man is rich or poor, just if you love him. Like it or not, that is only because you don’t want to admit that you have the choice because your father and I worked hard to make it possible.”
Her daughter shook her head, but Joanne continued undeterred. “You have choices because your father and I worked hard to get to a certain place where they are available to you. Rhon is nice and caring, but he has nothing to offer but trouble.”
Halle knew precisely what her mother meant when she said trouble. She was talking about the night that she got arrested.
Harrold and Halle came in after several hours at the Goldsboro Police Station. Luckily it was the start of the weekend, and they could sleep in if need be. Halle and Rhon-Ron were detained for hours on charges of car theft and resisting arrest. Rhon got the additional charge of striking an officer.
Harrold went to the police station with a friend of his, Arnold Jenkins who was also his attorney and Reverend Michael Bishop chapter president of the Goldsboro/Wayne NAACP.
They all met at the station and convinced the police to drop the charges under threat of public shaming for the illegal arrest, and a massive civil lawsuit against the county that would result in a multi-million dollar payout. The Goldsboro Police was in no position to do that. Especially after they recently paid out handsomely in a wrongful death suit the previous year. The NAACP had a big part to play in that and would happily do it again. The police would drop the charges, no records. That came at a price. The police would forget everything as long as the NAACP and the families did as well. Everyone agreed.
Harrold was merely relieved that his daughter was home alive and in one piece. He wished he could say the same for Rhon-Ron. Mama Reed quickly took him to the hospital to get his eye looked at. Harrold had not seen that level of bruising and swelling in person in his entire life, only in pictures.
When he and Halle came through the door, Joanne and Hakim were waiting for them. Hakim hugged Halle and Joanne hugged them both.
Joanne looked over Halle, she had some minor cuts on her face from being pushed into the ground, she was alright. Once that was done she let her have it.
“I am glad that you are alright but what were you thinking striking an officer like that?”
“I didn’t hit him harder than he deserved. I was defending myself.”
“Harrold and I taught you what to do when you are dealing with the police. You and Rhon could have come home in body bags if they bothered to tell us at all.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You don’t have to with white people. You not being a slave is enough.”
“Mother!”
“Don’t you raise your voice at me, young lady. This is just another indication of your rebellion, and I have had enough.”
“Joanne–” Harrold interjected. Joanne held her hand up to stop what she knew was coming.
“No Harrold. I have had enough with you encouraging this.” She looked at her husband with a fiery gaze. “I am not having the ‘they are just young kids in love’ discussion again. If it were up to you, we would have that discussion on our way to do our weekly visits to see our child at the Detention Center in Wayne County. No more.” She finished with an emphatic gesture to signal that she was entirely done before turning back to her daughter.
“Halle you are grounded. Indefinitely. You are not to see Rhon anymore.”
“That’s not fair!” Halle shouted.
She ran up the stairs crying with murmurs of Joanne and Harrold bickering in the background.
“Mother, we have not spoken in ten years. This is what you want to talk about?”
Joanne took a deep breath, “No. You are right. I’m sorry. I am just worried about you.”
“Well, I have been fine for the last decade. No need to trouble yourself.”
Her mother recoiled when she said that. However wounded she was to hear it, didn’t stay on her face for long.
“I know we have not always been close.”
“That is because you wanted to control me. Turn me into you. I am not here to relive your life mother.”
“I don’t think that. But yes, I did wish you made some of the choices I made,” She agreed.
“I love your father. He is the love of my life. I can’t be stupid and say that our relationship has been not only a loving partnership but an advantageous one.”
Halle watched her mother intently as she continued.
“When I married your father in ‘79, it was for love. Harrold and I barely had any money. What we did have was ambition. We both wanted to push ourselves further than our parents or their parents ever got. We did that.
With that shift comes choices. I could choose things for you and Hakim that Harrold and I could never choose for ourselves. We never had the picket fence and a yard to run around in. You did. You loved swimming, Harrold and I could support it. I hoped that by you going to Howard, becoming a Delta, you would be around the kind of people, the kind of men, who could do that and more. Rhon,” Joanne paused.
She looked at her daughter across from her. She could see not just her adult child but her younger self. Halle’s eyes never left her mother. Joanne took a deep breath and continued.
“Rhon, couldn’t do that. He would be kind and love you, but never push you forward. I was looking out for your best interest.”
“Mom, but I didn’t want that.”
“No,” Joanne accepted with a sigh. “Do you want that now? With Liam?”
Halle perked up, and her eyes grew wide.
“I know about Cordonia too.”
“But how–”
“I found out one night after using the family computer. I love Harrold, bless his heart, but he does not know how to clear the history. I thought I would find porn and learn a few things.”
Her daughter shuttered at the thought.
“I have a marriage to keep… interesting,” she qualified and then added, “We didn’t last that long just because you know.”
Halle shook the thought out of her head. Just some things a child should not know about her parents.
“Anyway, what I saw were all of these weird tabloid sites, and Harrold likes gossip nothing. I decided to look to see why he was interested and I saw you. At first, I was worried, but when I saw that you were courting a prince and now engaged to a king, I understood.”
“Mom, I–”
Joanne eyes went from soft and apologetic to fierce and determined in a flash.
“Halle, I love you so much. I want so much for you, but I want to be here for you, on your terms. If you want to talk to me about Liam and Cordonia and why you left. I will be here for you. No judgments.”
Halle nodded, “Okay.”
Halle got up to go to her bedroom before she made it to the stairwell she paused and turned to her mother.
“Mom, do you ever wonder if you gave up too much of yourself to get to where you are? Like you sold your soul?”
Joanne inhaled. “I did. I sometimes wonder if pushing to get to this place meant leaving behind a part of my identity, a part of myself behind.”
“Do you feel that way now?”
“No. Harrold and I were still ourselves, but we did have to fight to keep the parts we wanted. It’s why we stay connected to our community, Harrold chose to run his practice for lower-income families instead of specializing in cosmetic dentistry where it’s more lucrative. Besides, what was I looking to keep? A stereotype? I may be living better than my parents, but I am still who I am.”
“Staying true to yourself is a choice. It’s one you make every day. If you were less true to yourself the day before it doesn’t mean that you have lost yourself completely. It means that today is a chance to take it back.”
Joanne let her words hang in the air as Halle took them in. Neither of them moved and just let the silence be present between them as they usually did before now.
“I know it’s only just after 10:30, but I don’t keep late hours you young people like to do. I am going to bed.” Her mother said getting up from the Lazyboy. “I need my beauty sleep to maintain my youthful looks.”
Joanne hugged Halle and kissed her on the temple before heading to her room. Halle followed.
Laying in her bed Halle wasn’t sure what to make of it all. Every time she wanted clarity, all she had in her head was noise. She looked at her phone. The picture of her and Liam on the lock screen stared back at her. This one was from their engagement at the Statue of Liberty. They were both so happy at that moment. The two people in that picture had no idea that a traitor that sought to do them harm was in their midst. That a few days later their best friend was going to have a bullet lodged in his shoulder, or that an orchard that was centuries in the making would lie in ashes. They were just happy and in love.
She unlocked her phone and looked at more photos. Lots of them were of her and her new life. She looked up at her mirror in the darkness where the pictures of she and Rhon-Ron were plastered up. She and Rhon were all smiles there too. The smiles were different. Halle’s with Rhon was so full it’s a wonder her face could contain it. Then Halle remembered that that photo was taken before that night, and she is not a carefree teenager anymore. Even with that knowledge, both people were her. Knowing what she knows now, living through what she has lived through now doesn’t make her smile less genuine.
She thumbed through more pictures on her phone and stopped on her favorite of Liam. He was sitting in his favorite spot to view all of Cordonia that he shared with her. His small eyes were narrowed in serious thought looking at all of the lands. The people. Even with all of that thought, his face was relaxed, there was no tension in his jaw. His calm, reflective nature radiated through her screen. Halle wished he was here now.
She opened up her WhatsApp and thought to quickly call him. She dialed but promptly hung up. What was she going to say after leaving the way that she did? She couldn’t think of anything that didn’t feel wrong or somehow manipulative. She closed the app and her phone and stared up at her ceiling until her eyes grew tired and she fell asleep at last.