Liam stared out the window, he drew in a shuddering breath, the cold Lythikos air chilling his lungs even in the warmth of the home. His heart ached with his only Christmas wish: please come home, come back to me.
He’d hoped leaving the capital and his responsibilities behind would drive out all thoughts of him. The thought of him haunted him year round, he longed for even a day of reprieve. Surely one day where he didn’t fall asleep with broken dreams and promises on his mind wasn’t too much to ask. His heart always aches with thoughts of him, but it always hurt more when the world was lit with twinkling lights. Being even further from the person who stole his breath with a look only increased the aching in his chest.
Does he miss me the way I miss him? Does the thought of me make his heart ache?
He pushed the questions from his mind, they wouldn’t calm the pain he felt in his soul. Only one person could make him feel whole once more.
Will he ever come back?
His eyes remained locked on a snow-covered tree in the distance while his mind traveled back in time.
Liam broke into a broad grin as he caught sight of Drake fussing with the knot of his tie over Hakim’s shoulder. “Sorry.” He replied blushing as Hakim looked at him with a questioning eye.
Everyone had noticed that someone had managed to win the heart of the young prince. Names of young noblewoman from across the country were whispered in quiet halls as everyone tried to figure out who had claimed his heart. No one even suspected the truth that the person he fell for wasn’t noble born and always by his side.
He politely excused himself from his father’s friend. Constantine would reprimand him later for leaving the festive event without making the full rounds, for now he couldn’t be bothered. There was only one place he wanted to be.
He smiled as he caught his eye, nodding before he slipped past the lavish decorations and out the door undetected. They’d perfected sneaking from events unnoticed over the last year together. He quickly and quietly walked down the corridors until he made it to the library, the only entrance to to what had become their spot. Whenever they needed a moment away, to forget the expectations that hung heavy over them they would sneak away to the small hidden dead end secret passage.
In the small dark corridor there were no titles looming over their heads. It was the one place they actually believed all the plans and promises made between stolen kisses and twisted sheets. They were just Liam and Drake, nothing else mattered, no other person existed.
He smiled as strong arms embraced him from behind. He turned in his arms, placing kisses along his jaw, the fresh stubble rubbing against his soft lips. He didn’t care, he loved all of him: the calloused hands, and chapped lips reminded him that there was more to life than legislation and meetings with foreign ministers. There was an entire world out there he wanted to experience with him.
“Li,” he’s words thick and heavy as he slowly pulled back from his lovers arms.
Liam’s smile fell as he met Drake’s gaze, it was clear this time wouldn’t go as all the others. No kisses and promises. No clumsy dancing as laughter spilled from their lips. Something was going to happen, their perfect bubble was about to break. Not today, not so close to Christmas.
“You know how I’m going to Texas for Christmas?” Drake paused as Liam slowly nodded. “I—I’m not coming back.” He spoke slowly as the words became lodged in his throat. “My mom and Aunt Lee have been having trouble and they need me.”
“What about us?” He choked on the words knowing the truth, they could never be.
Drake sucked in a breath as he ran his hand through his shaggy chestnut locks. “We both know we couldn’t ever be anything more than stolen kisses and dances in the dark … it’s better I leave now before you have to marry … for the country.”
Marry for the country. The words never said in this sacred space forced all the weight of the world back on Liam’s shoulders in an instant. “One more night?” His voice hopeful and eyes pleading.
Drake looked at him, sadness and heartbreak written in his eyes. “I can’t … I still have to finish packing for my flight in the morning.”
Liam nodded in response. Maybe it was for the best, one more night of promises and kisses that could never be would only make saying goodbye harder.
Drake looked over his shoulder before disappearing back through the secret entrance. “I’ll always love you Li, even if we weren’t meant to be.”
Liam was pulled back to earth with the sound of the door to his suite clicking. Part of him hoped when he turned he’d come face to face with the object of his heart’s desire. He fingered the heavy signet ring on his finger, he’d gone through this same feeling of longing for years and every year it ended the same— he never showed.
The sharp clicking of heels across the floor punctuated the reality. Each step hammering home the truth that he’d lost him for good years ago.
He turned forcing a tight smile on his lips at the sight of his wife, his queen. I never wanted any of this. His eyes fell to her large belly bump, a lump forming in his throat, one thought persistent in his mind.
Don’t end up pining away like me, don’t let anyone decide your future for you. Fight for your love so you never have to wish they come home for Christmas when everyone else is hoping for snow.
