A/N: This was just a thought I had, and wanted to write it. I am just gonna say that this talks about pretty angsty stuff. Death and suicide. If you feel like you might be considering suicide, please talk to someone, even if it’s a lifeline system in your country. In Australia, Lifeline is always open, and Kids Helpline. (NSFW/MA15+ because of tragedy)
The Homecoming Ball was a place to end an amazing trip. Though the drama was high, the love was not. Drake and Lana had so many moments in between. It was all that time that helped them grow closer, helped them remember that love was a real thing. A thing that could reach them no matter how far away it was at a point. The highlight of the trip for Lana, though hard, was admitting to Liam that she loved Drake. It was finally out in the open. How could things turn around so fast?
One minute a gun was aiming at her, the next, she was knocked off her feet with Drake laying atop of her. Dazed, she laid a hand on the side of her head and groaned as the light touch hurt. And that’s when she saw a bleeding Drake. A man who took a bullet for her. She quickly forgot about herself and her pain, and crawled over to Drake.
He wasn’t shot in any immediate places, but, the bleeding didn’t slow from his shoulder. He groaned and joked, but Lana knew the outcome wasn’t going to be a good one if she didn’t do something. Bastien told her what to do, but she didn’t like the sound of it. So she drove, drove in the opposite direction to where Bastien told her to go.
Lana put on some quiet music and kept checking the rearview mirror.
‘How’re you holding up?’ She asked as calmly as she could. Her hands were shaking as she gripped the wheel tighter. Tighter enough to turn her knuckles white.
‘I’m doing fine Thomson. Don’t worry about me.’ Drake replied, before clutching his shoulder from a sudden shock of pain.
‘What do you mean don’t worry about you, you, you’re bleeding! You’re shot. You’re bleeding.’ She took a breath and mumbled, ‘you could be dying.’ This was the first time reality took course in her head after a while. Everything just seemed easy before that moment. The hardest thing to do was find Tariq and tell Liam she loved Drake. This, this was such a surreal thing to her.
‘I’ll be okay.’ He muttered through gritted teeth.
Lana bit her lip and spoke softly, ‘Why? Why save me like that?’ She asked, now speeding through the silent roads.
‘I couldn’t let you die! Those bastards will get what they deserve, but, I couldn’t let them hurt you.’ He took a shaky breath, blood now starting to become visible on his green suit.
‘I promised my mother the last time I saw her, that I’d do whatever I could to protect someone I…’ he hesitated. Not sure whether to use the word ‘love’ or not. ‘… I care about.’
Lana was slightly happy about him not saying the word ‘love’, because, she couldn’t bear the thought of it being the first and last time saying it.
‘We’re here.’ Lana said, quickly getting out off her seat and helping Drake out.
‘The hospital?’ Drake asked.
‘I know nothing about first aid. I worked in a bar for goodness sake.’ Lana said, trying to hold back her frustration. Not at Drake, but at herself for getting him in that position to start with.
Soon, he was in the hospital, rushed into emergency. Silence for a while, then a nurse shouting “CODE RED” and Lana getting anxious, before she fell asleep with her head resting on Liam’s shoulder. He didn’t question her decision, instead he accepted it.
How can I say this without breaking
How can I say this without taking over
How can I put it down into words
When it’s almost too much for my soul alone
Three days later, it was still hard to come to terms with everything. Lana couldn’t stop the tears that streamed down her face every time she saw something that reminded her of him. A nurse gave her a box after telling her the news, but Lana could’t open it. She couldn’t cope with what could’ve been.
She cleaned up her face, before applying the least amount of makeup she could, and slipped on a basic black dress. One she knew Drake would’ve loved. She added black heels to her outfit and left. She got into a limousine, Liam, Hana and Maxwell all sitting there in silence.
The whole ride and funeral was a blur. Liam’s arms wrapped around Lana as everything was happening. She cried, and then they asked if she could say something.
Liam went first and held Lana’s hand throughout everything. He struggled to speak, and it was the first time he’d ever been like that in public. Then it was Lana’s turn.
She breathed in deeply, before starting her sentence.
‘Drake Walker, a man that was protective, loving, caring and so much more. His life was taken so unfairly, and at the cost of my own,’ her hands gripped the microphone so tightly, her knuckles stopped having blood flow.
‘A life so precious, was taken. I cannot say I’m not heartbroken, because if I could, I’d kill whoever did this with my bear hands, but, my utmost message, is I’m just here to make sure Cordonia can get through this, and stand by King Liam’s side. How I’d rather this didn’t have to be a public event. I know for a fact, Drake would’ve wanted only the people that cared about him here. People that knew him! None of you here, actually knew this man,’ a guard cut her off by taking her arm gently, but she yanked it away.
‘Your Grace, I think you shouldn’t continue.’
Lana let what he said, go over her head.
‘I know that whoever did this, is watching this, but you want to know something?’ She looked dead into the camera. Tears streaming down her face. ‘You won’t win bitch.’ She spat before leaving.
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
She went back to the palace. She wasn’t watching them bury the only person she’d ever lived to love. She couldn’t watch them bury her soulmate.
She got into her room and quickly changed into the green dress she wore the first time she ever got to spend time with Drake.
She pulls out all the outfits she ever wore in court. Every. Single. One. Drake noticed. She poured whiskey all over them and put them into a bag. Taking a big gulp of it as well, she took one of her heels and threw it at the window, smashing it.
She wished she was numb, but all she felt was pain and guilt. She fell onto her bed, screaming into her pillow before giving over to her emotions and tears.
I don’t want them to know the secrets
I don’t want them to know the way I loved you
I don’t think they’d understand it, no
I don’t think they would accept me, no
Soon after, she went back to the Beaumont estate and into Bertrand’s office. Closing her eyes, remembering their first ‘moment in between’. How it was completely forbidden. The wine cellar. Their first kiss. The way he looked at her after punching Tariq. Nothing in order, but everything that was completely forbidden.
She didn’t dare tell anyone. No one would understand her need for him. He was like the drug she was addicted to.
She took a piece of paper from Bertrand’s desk and wrote; “What happens when you take drugs away from its consumer at once? Nothing goes right. Sorry.”
She took that paper back to the palace with her, remembering how Drake was there for her after a while.
She was an outsider looking in. He understood that. He understood her. He wanted her. They laughed, they ate, they had good times. And it only got better as time went on. No one understood what it was like being a commoner but the two of them. But hell, it was fun being two outsiders.
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
As Lana arrived at the palace, she placed the note on Liam’s bed. She then went to her room and opened that box. The box she didn’t want to open for the longest time.
There, a beautiful ring was. She slipped it onto her finger, mumbling the silent words of ‘yes’, while wishing Drake was by her side while she was saying it.
Dreams fight with machines
Inside my head like adversaries
Come wrestle me free
Clean from the war
Your heart fits like a key
Into the lock on the wall
I turn it, I turn it
But I can’t escape
I turn it over, I turn it over
It was getting too hard for Lana to keep going without him. Knowing it was her fault. Blaming herself. She could keep fighting, but it wouldn’t benefit her. Everyone always told her that she needed to care for herself first. And she was. She didn’t care about how selfish she was being, she just wanted out.
She took the bag of clothes, and a match, before walking to the cliff overlooking the ocean.
She took out the clothes. Dumping them on the ground and striking a match.
‘I can’t deal with the pain and the loneliness anymore. Everyone says that it’ll pass. but I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. Forgive me Maxwell. Forgive me Liam. Forgive me Hana.’
Then, she took took slow, painful steps towards the edge. And right when she got to the edge, she mumbled one last thing before stepping over.
‘Forgive me Drake.’
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell