If You Could See Me Now (Behind Closed Doors Prologue)

A/N: I had a thought while watching Princess Diaries 2, what if Constantine was killed instead of Liam’s mom and thus this was born. This will take place when Liam and Drake are 8 years old, Leo is 14, Olivia is 7, Bastien is 21, and Queen Elora Rhys is 32. Thank you to @sirbeepsalot, @blackcatkita, @darley1101, @itsstillnotwhatyouthink and @stopforamoment for your input. I went back and forth on the title, Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton, Fade to Black by Metallica and If You Could See Me Now by the Script, all had a hand in helping me write this. I wanted to wait until I had more complete but I’m dying to post this so, introduction to Behind Closed Doors, this is going to be a beautiful mess!

Elora quietly ushered Leo and Olivia to the waiting car. She turned looking for Liam, finding him standing forlorn by his father’s grave. She motioned for Jackson to come forward. “Please get Leo and Livvy in the car.” Her eyes trained on her heartbroken son making her miss Olivia scrunching up her nose at the affectionate nickname.

“Ma’am, I can get the Prince for you while you get settled.”

Elora turned to look at the head guard. “Jackson, our sons our best friends, I beseech you to stop with the formalities.” She turned back towards Liam, her face falling as she shook her head. “Right now he needs his mother.”

Jackson nodded, gently guiding the other children towards the car.

Elora walked swiftly towards her son, her heart breaking for him, she’d watched him struggling for days since learning of his father’s death. Each day that passed Liam seemed to become more withdrawn, pulling within himself, lashing out in anger at unforeseen moments. “Liam, it’s time to go home.” Home. Her heart clenched at the word, would their home ever feel the same? Would she ever be able to walk the halls of the apartment they shared without questioning every memory they contained?

Liam turned towards her, his face streaked with fresh tears. “Mama, I need to see him! I need to tell him I’m sorry! He needs to know I never meant those awful words!”

Elora felt the fresh sting of tears at her son’s words and his cracking voice. She knelt in front of him, not caring that her dress and knees might get caked with freshly turned earth. “Liam.” She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “He knows. I promise you he knows.” Her heart felt ripped in two between love for her children and hatred at the man that caused them all this pain.

“But I need to see him!” Liam insisted, pulling from his mother’s grasp.

She glanced at the half covered empty casket, how could she tell her son that his body had never been found? But hers was. Her family would get a closure her own never truly would. “Liam, you know your father wouldn’t want you to see him that way.” She ran her hand through his perfectly coiffed silky black tresses, he sniffled, his face contorting into a look of displeasure at the action. There’s my boy. She internally smiled, her face still painted with composed grief, not for her husband like it was assumed, but for her children. “I’m sure his final thought was that he forgave you. I know that he understood your anger, and I’m sure he felt relief knowing that you were safe.” Lies! His last thoughts were probably about her, about how his secret was about to be unearthed.

Liam nodded, wiping at his cheeks with the backs of his hands. Elora stood extending her hand towards him, wrapping her fingers around his once he placed his hand in hers. She calmly led her son to the awaiting car, her heart heavy, her shoulders bearing the full weight of the country, her mind struggling to wrap around every newly exposed truth, as she forced herself to hold her head high. She smiled softly as Jackson helped Liam into the back of the car, before assisting her. “I’m fine Jackson, really.” She stated waving him off. She slid in next to Liam, taking in Leo’s annoyed, impatient expression, and Olivia’s unease. Her heart clenched for the children now solely in her care, each child feeling such hurt and loss, each needing to be shielded from the truth surrounding Constantine’s boating accident. “Leo, you know you couldn’t have saved him.” Her voice soft and full of empathy for the young teen.

Leo scoffed, rolling his eyes at his stepmother.

Elora sat back against the sun warmed leather, he’d been increasingly agitated since his father’s accident, insisting he could have saved him. She’d been having the same argument with him for days. Inside, a fire full of fury burned, she alone was there for the children, it had always been on her to care for them, she had accepted lighter queenly duties in return, especially once they had welcomed Olivia into their home. Had she known he wasn’t simply trying to make her life easier she never would have agreed. How dare he lie and go behind her back? She felt like a fool believing that he was looking out for her best interest not wanting her to be burnt out when he was using her being distracted by the children as the time to carry on behind her back. She hated that she’s been blind, been fooled by his lies. How dare he make such selfish and reckless decisions that left three bereaved children behind? She felt such deep pain that each of her children were once again thrown into a time of intense grief, all at the hand of the selfish man she once called her husband, her love.

Elora, moved to put a comforting arm around Liam, only for him to pull away from her, his tear filled chestnut eyes trained out the window, watching the winding Cordonian roads go past. She wondered if he’d ever be able to forgive himself for his words said in a fit of anger. Would he ever feel at peace again, or would he forever beat himself up for feeling human? He had been hurt when his father had said no, anyone would know he hadn’t meant the words he said, yet now he’d regret them and think he wasn’t allowed to express himself for fear of something terrible happening again.

Her gaze fell on Leo, sitting slumped in his seat, arms crossed over his chest. The poor teen could already feel the entire weight of the country on his shoulders, and he was still only a boy, not yet king. She saw what his mother abandoning him had done to him, making him feel as if he wasn’t enough, question if he could do the job he was destined for. She could already see losing his father to similar selfish choices wasn’t doing him any favors, his insistence that he could have helped proving it. She knew inside he was terrified of what his father’s death meant, becoming king far sooner than anyone had ever thought.

She turned to look at Olivia, the young Duchess who had already gone through so much loss, having a large title thrust upon her way too soon. Her emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her lower lip quivering as she tried to keep the tears at bay. Elora knew Olivia was worried that this would only mean she’d be left behind once again. She thought she was the orphan no one wanted, she saw it time and time again over the past year of having her with them. Elora had slowly broken some of the walls Olivia built up over the year she spent alone, and now she watched as they slowly built back up.

Three children facing their own demons, living their own truths. Could she remain the good queen and good mother she was, or was she bound to fail someone? Her own fears crippling her, making her feel as though she’d live in the shadow of her former self forever, no one truly seeing her.

“Ma’am.” The smooth baritone broke through her thoughts. She looked around the empty backseat, realizing they’d arrived back at the palace. She looked up into kind grey eyes, accepting his hand out of the car. His hand felt warm against hers, a spark of electricity she hadn’t felt in years shooting through her. She averted her eyes, a faint blush gracing her cheeks, she felt foolish for the feelings the young guard unknowingly ignited in her. She quickly hurried after the children already halfway up the stairs, meeting his gaze quickly as she turned at the top, maybe she’d survive.

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bobasheebaby

Choices addict with weird love for crack pairs. I love drama and sometimes my stories take on a mind of their own.

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