Summary: Bastien thinks about the consequences of his actions.
Bastien stepped into his train car and began to get ready for bed. He was glad that the night was over. To think that he had thought Liam’s bachelor party would be fun. He had had such a good time at Leo’s bachelor party. What a night that was, enjoying the waterpark even though he kept his suit on, and indulging in drink after drink. It wasn’t often that he got to relax like that. He knew that Liam’s party would be more low-key, but still, there would be good whiskey and good company. He didn’t expect there to be an ugly scene.
His blood had run cold when Drake confronted him about paying Lady Penelope to sabotage Lady Riley. At first he kept his cool and acted like he had nothing to do with it. But Drake wouldn’t let it go, and wanted to know who was behind the plot. Still, he stayed calm, until Drake said those words. I know you’re a good guy. He lost it then. Those words cut him like a knife. He was supposed to be a good guy, but he didn’t feel like one. He had all but admitted his involvement, even though he didn’t give away anything else.
Then Lady Riley demanded that he tell them who had given him the orders. It sickened him to think about what he had put that poor woman through. He couldn’t allow them to cause a scene, though. He told her that he was truly sorry, but she had to leave. He knew that she deserved much more of an apology, but he didn’t dare say more. If he had said exactly what he was sorry for, he wasn’t sure that he would be able to keep it together. He gently placed his hand on her arm, hoping that somehow she could feel his sincerity. But then Drake demanded that he take his hands off her, as if he were physically hurting her. Didn’t Drake know that he would never do that? He told Drake that he was sorry, that it wasn’t personal, but Drake didn’t seem to believe him. Then Drake started arguing with Bertrand, causing even more of a disturbance, and he had to send all of them away. As soon as they were gone, he poured himself a big glass of whiskey.
He knew it was only a matter of time until the news got back to Liam. What would happen then? Would he lose his position in the King’s Guard? He had never wanted any of this to happen. None of this was his idea, but he had no choice. But Liam might not see it that way. Surely Liam would tell Leo, too. Leo had thought enough of him to ask him to be the best man at his wedding. Would either of them want anything to do with him? Would Drake? His actions may have destroyed the close bond between them.
He thought about his grandfather, who had also been in the King’s Guard. Ever since he was a little boy, he had wanted to be just like his grandfather. He wanted to honorably serve Cordonia and the royal family, but now he felt like a disgrace to the current king and to his family’s legacy. What would his grandfather think of him now?
Had his father known about the darker side of life at court? His father had grown up around the royal family, but had chosen a different life for himself. Bastien had thought that might have been because his father wanted to keep the family safe. Guarding the royal family was a risky job. His great-grandfather had been killed defending the king, and there had been other assassination attempts over the years. But maybe that wasn’t the only reason that his father picked a different career, even though the family had a long history of serving as guards.
For so long, Bastien had put Cordonia first. He didn’t have a family of his own, and he didn’t have many friends. Now he might lose his job and the few friends that he had. He had already lost his self-respect. He could even lose his life; although he had not confessed anything, he knew there was a chance he could be permanently silenced, to guarantee that he would never talk. The future looked very bleak. Was there any hope at all?