Loss
By Misha
Disclaimer- I don’t own the characters of the Crown and the Flame, I’m just borrowing them for a little while and will return them when I am done.
Author’s Notes- Warning this is angsty and deals with pregnancy loss. I got two separate requests for this subject and it took me a while to write it, because it’s a subject that’s near to me. This takes place about a year and a half after Rys’ birth, while Kenna is pregnant with her third child.
Pairing- Kenna/Diavolos
Rating- PG-13
Category- Hurt/Comfort
Summary- Kenna and Diavolos suffer a painful loss. *mentions of pregnancy loss*
Words- 630
“How are you feeling, my love?” Diavolos asked, wrapping his arms around Kenna’s expanding waist. She was currently expecting their third child, something that thrilled them both because they wanted an entire castleful of children.
“Tired,” she confessed with a sign, “I swear I get more tired each time.”
Diavolos laughed, “that’s because now you have two little warriors to run around after.”
“True,” Kenna agreed, “but I wouldn’t change a thing.”
After years of battles, of fighting first to reclaim her kingdom and then to protect it, she was thrilled to have settled down into a comfortable family life. She adored her sons and loved watching Diavolos with them and seeing what an affectionate father he was.
Suddenly though, Kenna’s happy thoughts were disrupted by a sharp, stabbing pain in her stomach. She let out a strangled cry and if Diavolos had been holding her, she thought she would have doubled over.
“Kenna, what is it? What’s wrong?” Diavolos cried, his arms firm around her, offering her support.
“I think it’s the baby,” Kenna moaned, though she knew it was too early. Much, much too early. She was only a few months gone.
Diavolos swept her into his arms instantly and carried her into the castle without another word. Kenna clung to him, trying to ride out the waves of pain.
Please don’t let anything happen to the baby.
—
Kenna woke up in her bed to see Diavolos sitting by her side and knew that her prayers hadn’t been answered. Because there was a look of deep despair on his handsome features.
“Diavolos?” She whispered, sitting up.
“I’m here,” he assured her, taking her hand.
“I lost the baby, didn’t I?” She said, the events of the last day coming back to her. There had been pain and then blood and then the healer had given her something to make her sleep.
“Yes,” Diavolos confirmed and she could see the pain on his face.
There was a long moment of silence, as they held hands and let the grief wash over them. Grief for the much-wanted baby that was never going to be born. It didn’t matter that there might be other children, that they already had two beautiful children, Kenna had wanted this baby so badly and its loss tore her apart.
Kenna looked up at Diavolos and realized there were tears on his face. It caught her off-guard because in four years of marriage, she had never seen Diavolos cry. He had gotten a lot better at expressing his emotions over the years, had shared his fear about being like his father and the details of his awful childhood, but she had never seen him shed tears. Not even when talking about his lost brothers.
The fact that he was crying now… It moved her, because it showed how much she and their family meant to him.
“Diavolos?”
“Yes, my love?” He asked, looking concerned.
“Can you hold me?” Kenna asked softly.
He hesitated and then nodded, very gently climbing into the bed next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and Kenna snuggled in close, resting her head against his chest and letting the tears flow. Diavolos rubbed her back, but he didn’t offer any false platitudes or tell her it would be all right or that there would be other babies. They didn’t talk, because they didn’t need too, they just held each other and mourned their lost child.
As Kenna took comfort in his strength, and in his weakness, she thought about just how lucky she was to have found him. She loved him so much and as much as she hurt right now, she knew that she could get through anything as long as she had him at her side.
- End
