Maybe This Time

Maybe This Time
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine. I’m just borrowing them for a while and will return them when I am finished.

Author’s Notes- This is a follow-up to “Wildest Dreams” because that story broke my heart and I couldn’t just leave it there. I was also inspired by a poem of N.R Hart’s (all of her stuff speaks to me), that I’ve included. This is set a year after “Wildest Dreams” and is also a response to the prompt: “A kiss because I have literally been watching you all night and I can’t take anymore”

Pairing- Liam/MC

Rating- PG-13

Summary- A year after leaving Cordonia, Eleanor’s carefully rebuilt world is shaken to the core when she is given a chance to go back to the man she left behind, to see if maybe this time they can get a happy ending.

Words- 2845

I spent a year rebuilding my life and putting the nightmare that my time in Cordonia had become behind me, but it took only a few minutes for all my hard work to come crashing down.

I will never forget walking to class, when the newspaper stand caught my eye, the headline making me freeze.

“Cordonian Queen Exposed in Far-Reaching Scandal”.

It was a picture of Madeleine.

As soon as I saw her smug, smiling face, everything came rushing back. Everything I had found and everything I had lost. I had spent a year trying to forget that Cordonia existed, but I couldn’t ignore that headline.

My hands were shaking as I paid for the newspaper and read all the details, my calm detachment disappearing as I took in all the details of the plot against the throne. I’d worked so hard to put Cordonia, and Liam, behind me, but this brought it all back, reminded me of the way I’d left, that last desperate night with Liam.

I made it to class, my head going in a million directions, and as I sat down, I took out my phone, staring at it, my hands hovering over the message button. I’d asked for space and everyone had respected it, but…

I read the news, I typed, is everyone ok?

After a second’s hesitation, I hit send.

The response was almost immediate.

It’s chaos. But better to have the truth out, right? Then a pause and another message. I’m sure Liam would love to hear from you.

I bit my lip as I read that. It’s too soon. I wrote back. Liam’s wife had just been exposed, his country was in chaos, it wasn’t like things would clear themselves up overnight and I had spent too long fixing myself to go straight back into the drama.

There was a longer pause this time.

You’re probably right. Can I tell him you contacted me?

I paused then typed. Sure.

There was silence after that and I put my phone away, trying to focus on my class. The next few days passed in a blur. Texting Maxwell had opened the floodgates and there were messages from Hana, Drake, Penelope and even Olivia.

All urging me to contact Liam. And though none of them said it out loud, I know that they all wanted me to return to Cordonia.

I read the messages over and over and then spent hours staring out my window at the city, wondering what I should do. Walking away from Liam had been the hardest thing I’d ever done, how did I go back? Was it even possible to go back? Did him being free really change anything?

My time in Cordonia had taken a toll on me. No longer was I that romantic, optimistic girl who believed anything was possible if you wanted it enough. I’d followed my heart and it had been broken in the process. I’d come back to New York, wounded, and had taken a year to figure out where to go next.

I’d thought my parents’ death had broken me and left me rootless, but it was nothing compared to the way I’d felt after Cordonia. But I’d figured it out. I’d forced myself to keep going until it wasn’t so hard. Until I had actually started living again. Did I dare risk undoing all that progress?

Yet… I loved Liam. A year apart hadn’t changed that. He was the love of my life. Didn’t I owe it to us both to see if a second chance was possible?

After weeks of debate, and of obsessively following all the details of the scandal, I made a decision and I sat down and wrote a letter. I poured out all my thoughts and feelings out to Liam. Telling him about my life in New York, how I’d ended up going to law school after all, but also how much I loved him and missed him and how he had been in my thoughts every night we’d been apart. How he had haunted my dreams just like I’d promised he would.

It was long and rambling and I hesitated when I was done, wondering if I should actually send it. I sealed it up before I could talk myself out of it, labeled the envelope For Liam and then put it in another envelope addressed to Maxwell.

Weeks passed without any word and I wondered if I’d made a big mistake. Maybe Liam had been horrified by my rambling, maybe he just wanted to put everything behind him as he focused on rebuilding his kingdom. Maybe he’d had an easier time moving on than I had. Maybe it had just been something out of a dream and once reality had hit, the feelings had faded on his part, even if they hadn’t on mine.

I forced myself to go on with my day-to-day life, though my nights are long and lonely. I only sporadically response to messages from my friends in Cordonia and none of us mentioned Liam’s name. I started avoiding the news, unable to even bear the mention of the word “Cordonia”.

Then it arrived. A fancy invitation addressed To Lady Eleanor Sloane of the House Beaumont, inviting me to Cordonia for a ball, a plane ticket carefully tucked inside and a note Please come- L.

Those two words were all I needed and once again I packed for a spontaneous trip to Cordonia.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ellie?” My cousin asked over the phone.

“I have to,” I told her, “I need to at least try.”

I could hear her sigh. “Ok. Just… Be careful.”

“I will,” I promised. Twenty-four hours later I was landing in Cordonia where Maxwell met me.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” He told me, sweeping me up into an enthusiastic hug.

“It’s good to be back,” I told him, though I wasn’t sure it was true.

Penelope was waiting in the car and she was just as enthusiastic as Maxwell, giving me several hugs and telling me how happy she was to see me and lovely I looked, though she was sad that I had left Lucky in the care of a friend.

“I was hoping to introduce him to my poodles,” she pouted.

“Maybe one day,” I promised vaguely which led to a beaming smile.

The drive to the palace was pleasant and I was surprised to see Drake, Olivia, and Hana all waiting for me.

“Eleanor!” Hana said, throwing herself at me.

“Sloane, it’s good to have you back,” Drake said with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

Olivia just arched an eyebrow, “I hope you don’t expect a hug.”

“I’d never dream of it,” I assured her and then looked at them. “So what is this ball for?”

“It’s to celebrate Cordonia and the next step of our history,” Maxwell explained as we all trooped towards my room, “now that the dissolution of the King’s marriage is official.”

“This is a divorce ball?” I asked in surprise. Did people really do that? Cordonian society had surprised me plenty of times in the past, but this seemed a little extra.

Olivia smirked, “you know I really have missed you, Eleanor, you have such a refreshing way of phrasing things.”

“It’s not a divorce ball,” Maxwell told me, “not exactly, technically it’s meant to reintroduce the King to Cordonian society.”

“Another social season?” I asked in dread as we reached my room. I definitely wasn’t up for that.

“No,” Penelope answered, “King Liam petitioned to have the law about the king’s marital change and under the current circumstances, they agreed, so he is under no pressure to remarry and that, when he is ready, he can forgo the traditional social season.”

Oh, ok. That made sense. Not that I had any expectations of Liam, I didn’t even know why he had invited me.

“Are you all going to hang out in my room?” I asked after a moment, realizing they had all followed me.

“Penelope and I wanted to help you get settled because you are still part of our house,” Maxwell reminded me, “and since Bertrand is not at court right now.”

I was curious about that, but I had enough on my mind and hadn’t bothered to ask the details.

Drake sighed, “Savannah is due to have another baby any day now and she and Bertrand are at the estates awaiting the arrival.”

Oh, well, that was good news, though I could tell from Drake’s tone that he still wasn’t 100% reconciled with the fact that his sister was married to Bertrand.

“And I wanted to offer to escort you to the boutique,” Hana spoke up. “In case you didn’t bring anything appropriate with you.”

“Which, let’s be honest, you probably didn’t,” Olivia spoke up, “I thought I’d make sure you didn’t make too much of a fool of yourself and embarrass the rest of us by association.”

“Sounds good,” I told them, knowing Olivia well enough to understand that there was a gesture of friendship behind the insult.

Soon I was standing in the boutique and it suddenly felt like I had never left, that this was just another event, another part of the social whirlwind that had made up my time in Cordonia.

Olivia and Hana were, surprisingly, in total agreement and urged me towards a royal blue gown and before I knew it, I was dressed and ready to make my grand reappearance.

I gave my name and I felt every set of the eyes in the room turn to look at me, the wild card American had returned to court after over a year away. What did it mean? Was I hear to woo the King again? Or was it something else?

I tried to ignore the speculation as I prepared to meet Liam again. “Lady Eleanor,” he greeted, his eyes soft and I knew suddenly that whatever had existed between us a year ago was still there.

“Liam,” I said softly, drinking in the details of his face.

“It’s good to have you back,” he told me, squeezing my hand.

“It’s good to be back,” I told him, though I wasn’t quite sure yet whether or not I meant it.

“We need to talk,” He said, suddenly lowering his voice.

I nodded.

“But not here,” he added, looking around.

I repressed a sigh, was it like that again? Would our relationship have to be kept a polite secret once more?

Liam must have accurately read my expression because he clasped my hand a little tighter. “I didn’t mean it like that, just that… We have things to say to one another that I think would be better said without an audience.”

I flushed, realizing he was right.

“Can you meet me after the ball?” He asked in a low voice, “in the maze?”

I smiled at the suggestion, remembering my very first night in Cordonia, and then nodded. “Ok.”

“Thank you,” Liam told me and then released my hand, ready to greet the next guest.

I kept busy the rest of the evening, dancing with Maxwell, with a few strangers, with Liam briefly, both of us keeping the conversation light. Though, as hard as I tried, all I could think was how good it felt to be in his arms again and how much I’d missed him.

But I also suddenly wondered if I had made the right decision coming back because leaving him, it had been the hardest thing I’d ever done and I didn’t know if I would be able to do it for a second time if it came to that.

Finally, the ball came to an end and I slipped away from the ballroom towards the maze, thinking about that first night and how naïve I had been. I’d believed in fairytales and love at first sight and happily ever. I’d believed that falling in love was all that you need to have a happy ending. But life had taught me better than that. Liam was already there when I arrived, a single rose in his hand.

“Eleanor,” he breathed when he saw me.

“Liam,” I said softly, wondering how this was supposed to go. We’d been apart for so long. He’d been married and now divorced. Did we just pick up where we left off, how was that even possible? But we couldn’t start at the beginning again, either, too much had happened for that.

“Shall we?” Liam asked, offering his hand.

I took it and let him lead me into the maze. There was no racing this time, no laughter. Instead, it was just the two of us walking in silence until we reached the silence of the maze.

“You look beautiful,” Liam said finally, staring at me in awe, “somehow you’ve gotten even more beautiful in our time apart.”

I blushed.

“New York obviously agrees with you,” he said suddenly and I could hear the wariness in his voice, “I wonder if I was selfish to invite you back here.”

“It depends on your intentions,” I told him lightly.

Liam was quiet as if he didn’t know quite what to say and I suddenly felt a rush of embarrassment. Had I misread everything? Had he invited me back to clear the air between us, not to restart our romance?

“I’m sorry about my letter,” I said after a moment, “I know it was a bit of a mess—”

“No,” he said cutting me off, “it was perfect. Eleanor, reading your words, hearing that, impossible as it seemed, you still cared… You can’t know how much that meant. I’d assumed that I’d lost you forever, and I wouldn’t have blamed you if that was the case, and then suddenly I had hope again. But I couldn’t respond right away, I had to make everything right first.”

“Penelope said you changed the laws so you don’t have to be married,” I said quietly, “and that there won’t be a social season.”

“Yes,” Liam agreed, “I will be able to marry the bride of my choosing, when I choose.”

I had a lot of questions, but I didn’t dare voice them. Not yet.

“I love you,” Liam said suddenly, taking my hands in his, “maybe I have no right to say that, after everything I put you through, but I do, more than anything. You are the love of my life, Eleanor, and we once stood in this garden and I told you I wanted to spend my life with you, I still feel that way.”

“I….” I said, feeling a little overwhelmed.

I wasn’t sure what I’d expected, but a proposal wasn’t it and yet… Shouldn’t I have been? Liam and I’s love story had been interrupted, but wasn’t this always the intended ending? It seemed so fast and yet… I had been in love with him for two years, our time apart hadn’t changed that.

“I love you,” I said when I finally found my voice, “I’ve always loved you and I always will.”

“Eleanor,” Liam groaned and then he pulled me into his arms, lowering his mouth to mine and kissing me deeply. We both poured a year’s worth of pain and loneliness and longing into the kiss, clinging to each other, trying to relearn every detail about one another.

“I’ve spent all night watching you and wanting to do that,” Liam whispered when we finally broke apart, both of us gasping for air.

“Me too,” I admitted, clinging to him.

“I’m not going to rush you into anything,” he assured me, “I know I’m asking you to take on a lot, but I hope you’ll at least agree to stay in Cordonia, give us a chance to get to know each other properly.”

I wanted to tell him I didn’t need time, that I’d been ready to marry him all those months ago and I still felt that way, but the words wouldn’t come because I knew he was right.

We did need time.

We’d never had a normal relationship. First, we met and then there was the whirlwind of the social season and then the strain and subterfuge of the engagement tour and then a year apart.

We’d never had time to just get to know each other and build a relationship like a normal couple and maybe we needed that. Liam had gone through the trouble to give us that time and I was going to accept his gift graciously.

“I’d like that,” I reassured him and then I grinned mischievously, “though I hope you don’t want to take things too slowly.”

Liam groaned. “Ellie…”

I didn’t correct his use of my nickname the way I had on our last night together, because it finally felt right, like we’d have a chance to have that life we dreamed of where we could be Liam and Ellie.

We couldn’t erase the past, and I wouldn’t want to, but we had another shot at a future and I didn’t want to waste a moment of it.

• End