Moments

Summary: Lydia worries when the Council starts discussing the Clanless, leading to an emotion-filled meeting with Jax.

When the Council starts to meet to discuss what to do about the Clanless, Adrian won’t let her come with. Despite Lydia’s insistence, her passionate argument that killing them isn’t a reasonable solution and she can suggest alternatives, and her eventual pleading, Adrian still says no.

“Lydia. I appreciate where you’re coming from. I’m going to do everything I can to stall any drastic measures,” he says right before the first meeting. “But you’re too personally invested in this. And that kind of information, and arguing against the Council, could put you in even more danger.”

Lydia opens her mouth to protest that she’s already in danger, and Adrian immediately says, “It could put the Clanless in more danger.”

That makes her mouth snap shut. Inside she’s seething, but she knows Adrian’s mind is firmly made up. And, in all honesty, he’s right. He’d figured out early on that her determination to save the Clanless was partly because she felt it was the right thing to do, and partly because of the Clanless she’d gotten to know. Adrian has warned her, to not get involved and to keep her distance, but she hasn’t been called stubborn since she was a child for nothing.

The only thing that makes her feel marginally better as Adrian walks out is the troubled look on his face. She doesn’t trust most of the Council, but she trusts Adrian to keep his word to do what he can to protect the Clanless.

Lydia paces in the guest suite after Adrian leaves. She tries to watch TV, but there’s nothing on. None of his books hold her interest. The mindless apps on her phone don’t distract her. She debates calling Jax, but she doesn’t think “I’m freaking out” really qualifies as needing help.

Finally, before she screams out of sheer frustration, she heads out of the apartment, down the elevator, and into the night. It’s cool out tonight. Lydia tucks her hands into her pockets as she walks down the street. She has no real destination in mind, but it’s better than pacing the floor. Just as she’s about to head back, she spots a familiar figure in one of the alleyways and stops.

“I’d tell you it’s dangerous for you to be wandering out here alone, but I distinctly remember telling you that before,” Jax says, making his way over to her.

Lydia shrugs, a smile playing on her lips. “I know. And you have.”

“Not working tonight?” Jax asks.

Lydia frowns. “Adrian’s at a Council meeting.”

“Don’t you usually go to those?”

They fall into step, walking down city blocks that have become familiar to her.

“I was told my arguing with the Council at this one wouldn’t be a good idea,” she mutters.

Jax chuckles. “You do have a temper.”

Lydia shoots him a look. “Hey. That temper has helped me with the Council before.”

Jax is silent as they continue walking, though she senses him looking at her. “You’re worried,” he says after a few minutes.

She purposely keeps her gaze ahead of them when she answers. How is she supposed to look at him and admit that she’s worried the Council is going to vote to have him and everyone he’s protecting killed?

“Yes,” she says tightly.

“Mm,” Jax says thoughtfully, and then she does look at him.

“Aren’t you worried?” she asks.

“I am. But we’ve done everything we can to prepare. We’ll do what we have to.”

She stops suddenly, and Jax nearly bumps into her. Lydia looks up at him, swallowing hard, emotion thick in her throat at what might be to come.

“I don’t want to just sit and wait and hope for the best,” she says. “I want to do something.”

Jax steps closer and squeezes her shoulders. “You have done something, Lydia. You’ve done everything you can.”

She huffs out a frustrated noise. Logically, she knows what he’s saying is true. But she still doesn’t like it. She wants to do more. Jax drops one of his hands to take his phone out of his pocket. He looks at her apologetically.

“I have to go. The volunteers are arriving soon.”

Lydia doesn’t want him to leave. She can’t stand the thought of sitting alone again in that guest suite, and the thought of Jax feeding off of someone else makes her stomach roll. He’s fed off of her a handful of times now, and always at her suggestion. She knows she can’t always be the one he feeds on, but she can’t take the thought of anyone else feeling the way he makes her feel when he does. Not right now.

“You know you can feed off of me,” Lydia says.

“Are you sure?” Jax asks, like he always does.

She nods. “Yes. I’m already with you. And I really don’t want to sit in that guest suite just waiting.”

Jax takes her to a small, run-down apartment building not far away. His fingers thread with hers as they walk, and she squeezes his hand.

“I use this sometimes,” he explains as they walk in the main entrance. “In emergencies.”

Lydia can hear TVs blaring and a few loud voices as they walk down the hall. The apartment he unlocks is surprisingly clean inside, small and dark and quiet. There’s a couch against one wall, a table and two chairs against another. Through a doorway, Lydia can see a bed. Jax flips a light switch up experimentally, muttering under his breath when nothing comes on. Their only means of seeing is from a dim streetlamp outside.

They take their jackets off and Jax leads her to the couch, sitting next to her. Lydia bites her lip when he touches her neck, gently tilting her chin. This has gotten more intense every time he’s done it, and she nearly squirms, knowing what’s to come.

“What’s wrong?” Jax asks.

“Nothing,” she breathes, forcing herself to sit still.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees his lips quirk up before his fangs descend and he plunges them into her.

“Oh,” she groans quietly, closing her eyes.

She fumbles for his hand resting next to hers, threading their fingers together. She struggles to remain still, the pain faintly there, the pleasure almost too much. Lydia sucks in shallow breaths, whimpering at the indistinct sounds he makes against her neck.

When he’s done, he carefully pulls back, pricking his finger and sealing the wounds. Lydia sighs, slumping back against the couch.

“Better?” she asks him drowsily.

Jax grins. “Much. Thank you.”

“Welcome.”

He keeps holding her hand until she pushes herself back upright.

“Is it that intense with everyone?” she asks.

Jax stares at her. “It’s always intense,” he says carefully.

Lydia shakes her head. “That’s not what I asked.”

He smirks a little. “I know.”

He rubs his hand over the back of his neck, glancing away from her briefly. “No, it’s not that intense with everyone.”

That sends a little thrill through her and makes her flush. She knows it’s probably ridiculous, but she likes the idea that these feelings aren’t shared with everyone, but they are with her. Jax is watching her. His eyes flicker to her lips when she leans against him.

“Kiss me,” she murmurs, suddenly wanting nothing more.

“Lydia…”

“Please.”

She turns, sliding into his lap. She rests her forehead against his. “I don’t want to lose you,” she admits in a near whisper.

Jax’s hands glide slowly up and down her back. She shivers when his thumbs brush against the bare skin just above her waistband, dragging her shirt up.

“You don’t know that you will,” he says, his voice low, quiet. Intimate.

“But what if I do?” she asks.

Lydia shifts closer, and they both groan when her hips collide with his.

“I want-I need you,” she pleads.

Jax wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. She sighs when he kisses her, slowly at first, his lips gentle against hers. He’s kissed her before, but it never fails to make her heart race as much as it did the first time.

Lydia buries her hands in his hair, tilting her head to the side when he kisses down her jawline, sucking lightly at her pulse point, then teases his teeth over her neck.

“Jax,” she groans.

His hands dip under her shirt again, trailing up her sides. She leans back and he tugs her shirt over her head. Despite the dimness of the room, Lydia can feel him staring at her. It warms her skin and makes her move restlessly against him. She pulls at his shirt, and he stands suddenly, locking his arms around her and carrying her into the room with the bed. Her heart is pounding, and she knows he can feel it when he kisses her neck again.

“Nervous?” he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice.

Lydia laughs shakily. “That’s not the word I would use.”

Jax chuckles quietly and lowers her down next to the bed. She impatiently yanks his shirt off, her hands immediately going to his bare chest, tracing over his muscles and down his stomach. He’s a little ticklish, and it makes her grin.

Lydia presses against him, kissing him deeply, his lips hungry against hers. He softly murmurs her name, and hearing him say it like that, with so much warmth and desire, turns her on even more.

She fumbles with his belt, then his jeans, pulling at the denim while he gets his socks and shoes off. When he’s standing before her in just his underwear, she can’t help but stare at him. Jax is looking at her with an amused expression when she finally drags her eyes back up to his.

“What?” she asks. “It’s not my fault you’re so good looking.”

Jax snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. He slowly steps closer and tilts his chin down. His lips hover over hers, his hands running up her back. He undoes the clasp on her bra and eases the straps over her arms. It hits the floor softly. Her eyes drift closed when he kisses across her collarbones and down her chest, then kneels before her.

She moans when he kisses just below her bellybutton, his fingers deftly undoing the zipper and the button on her pants. Jax eases them off, pressing slow kisses to her thighs until she’s nearly shaking. She fumbles to toe her socks and shoes off, sucking in shaky breaths when Jax guides her back to the bed and lays her down.

“You’re beautiful, Lydia,” he murmurs.

He climbs in over her, kissing her once, twice, then slipping down in the bed. His mouth is warm against her skin, teasing over her breasts. Lydia threads her hands into his hair, arching into him instinctively. He kisses down her stomach and runs the tip of his tongue just under the band of her underwear, and then down.

“Mmm!” she gasps, his tongue teasing her over the fabric.

Jax slides her underwear off, and she nearly comes apart when his breath puffs against her. His fingers glide over her sensitive skin, then press into her. He gently flicks his tongue against her clit, and her hips snap up.

“Oh god. Jax,” she moans. “Oh. Oh.”

He glides his fingers in and out, slowly at first, curling them, rubbing his tongue over her. She’s nearly sobbing, writhing underneath him, making incoherent noises.

He stops suddenly and lifts his head up, and Lydia nearly screams in frustration.

“You can’t scream, love,” he murmurs, and a fluttery feeling flows through her when he calls her ‘love’.

She also remembers that people live here and the walls are probably paper thin.

“Damn you,” she gasps, and his chuckle vibrates against her skin.

She jerks against him when he runs his thumb over her clit. “Should I stop?” he asks.

She’s close, so close, desperate for him to make her come. “No,” she pants.

Her fingers clench in the sheets, her hips twisting when he slips his fingers out and flutters his tongue inside her. Lydia squeezes her eyes shut, gritting her teeth, trying not to cry out. She arches into him, eyes flying open and gasping when he presses in deeper, hitting that sensitive spot and making her come.

She kisses him desperately when he scoots back up, moaning when she tastes herself. She frowns when she runs her hands down his back and hits fabric, and remembers he’s still wearing his underwear.

“You’re not naked,” she says.

He kisses her again. “I’m not,” he agrees.

“You should be,” she says, and pushes his boxer briefs down.

He gets them over his feet and she pushes at his shoulder until he rolls to his back. Lydia squirms when he traces random patterns across her skin. Jax grins.

“You’re ticklish too,” he says.

She leans down, hair brushing his face. “Am not. You’re just distracting me,” she disagrees.

She brushes her lips over his, shifting down in the bed. Her mouth trails down his chest, over his stomach, traces the lines of his hips. One of his hands slips into her hair as she moves down, taking his length in her hand and pumping slowly up and down. Jax groans softly when she runs the flat of her tongue across the underside of his shaft, then over the tip of his erection.

His other hand buries in her hair, pushing it back, when she slowly takes him into her mouth.

“Lydia,” he groans.

“Mmm,” she hums, and he jerks against her.

She hears him suck in a breath when she flattens her tongue against him and sucks harder, so she does it again. His breathing grows ragged as she swirls her tongue and runs her hand over him, until he finally tugs her up, hoarsely saying, “Come here, love”.

That word sends a jolt through her again. She loves him calling her that. Lydia kneels over him, his hands warm on her thighs. His eyes are locked on hers as she shifts back, sinking onto him.

“Oh,” she groans.

Her head drops forward, her eyes closing as they start moving together. She whimpers quietly when he runs his hands up her sides and cups her breasts. His touch is featherlight when he trails his fingers back down and cups her hips in his hands. Jax pulls her down across his chest, kissing her deeply.

“Yes,” she moans when he thrusts up into her.

It’s been a while and she’s been wanting him and this feels even more incredible than she could have imagined.

“Jax,” she whispers desperately against his lips.

He nips at her lower lip, thrusting into her harder, faster, until all she can focus on is the sound of the blood roaring in her ears, the pleasurable noises Jax is making, the feel of his lips and his hands on her. All she can think about is Jax and why hadn’t they done this sooner but this feels so damn good and that makes her glad they waited.

He crashes his lips to hers when she comes, muffling the way she cries out. She gasps against his mouth when he finally leans back. Her muscles clench around him, her fingers tangling in his hair, and she hears Jax groan and feels his hands tighten on her hips when he comes.

Lydia slumps against him, closing her eyes. Their skin is hot and slick with sweat but she’s so completely spent and happy that she doesn’t even care.

Lydia idly kisses his chest as he runs his hand through her hair. Eventually she slips to his side, smiling when Jax wraps his arm around her and brushes his lips over her forehead.

“Can we stay?” she asks.

“Here?” he asks, sounding surprised.

“Just for a little bit. I don’t want to leave yet,” she says, lifting her head up.

Jax kisses her softly. “Yeah, we can stay.”

Lydia pushes his hair off his forehead, and his eyes close briefly in pleasure when she runs her fingers through the dark strands and scratches gently over his scalp. She kisses him again, lingering a little, then lays her head back on his chest. His heart beats strong under her ear.

She’d nearly forgotten about this, the steady thump of his heart after he feeds. It’s both reassuring and makes her hurt. It reminds her he’s here with her right now, but might not be much longer. Jax squeezes his arm around her, and she curls closer against his side, shaking the thoughts from her mind. For now, she only wants to be here in this moment with him. But tomorrow…tomorrow, she vows, she’s doing whatever she has to do to make sure they can keep having moments together.