Summary: Confessions are made, but the stakes are high.
Note: Welcome to Part 5 of this series! I feel like I should include a Titanic spoilers warning, but the movie is 20 years old; if you haven’t seen it yet, you probably don’t want to.
Emma stood outside the newsroom, staring at the closed door. It’d been nearly a month since she and James had fought in there, which meant it’d also been nearly a month since she’d been a part of the paper. She’d thought a lot about this decision and had very seriously considered giving up the paper altogether. However, after a lot of thought, she decided there was no way she was going to let an awkward situation with a paramour dictate her extracurriculars. That being said, she was still felt nervous to see James. She’d only seen him a few times since they’d decided to take a break, but each time had been in a group setting with all of their friends. They’d been friendly, but everything felt stilted and unnatural between them. Emma was somewhat surprised to find she felt pretty okay with this pause in their relationship. The more time went on, the more she felt that it might be best to make this break permanent. She cared for him and likely always would, but she didn’t feel the connection to him like she once had.
Emma took a deep breath and opened the newsroom door. The room was filled with the busy hum of student journalists that only hit a slight lull when the reporters noticed who had just walked in. Oh good, everyone still remembers James’s and my embarrassing display Emma thought. But after a moment everyone went back to work and Emma headed over to James’s desk where he sat reviewing an article with a girl she didn’t recognize.
“Hey,” Emma said with a smile when she reached his desk. James looked up, surprised.
“Oh, hey, Emma!” James said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” Emma said, glancing at the girl before returning her gaze back to James. “I wanted to come by and ask if you still had any spots available on the paper.”
“Yeah, definitely,” James said. “Only …”
“Only what?”
“Well, I don’t have any features positions open at the moment,” James said apologetically. “I didn’t know if you were coming back, so I gave your section to Reyna,” he said, gesturing to the girl beside him.
“Hi,” Reyna said with a friendly grin as she held out her hand. “I’m Reyna, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Emma, you too,” Emma said.
“I understand if you’re not interested, but if you are, I could use you in a freelance capacity when I need a filler piece,” James offered.
Emma regarded him for a moment. He was professional, but cold. The whole thing reminded her of that time last year when James had asked if they could go back to being “acquaintances.” That had really hurt. Emma wasn’t sure you could ever really just be acquaintances with someone who had been inside you, but either way, now the attitude was just starting to piss her off.
“Absolutely,” Emma said lightly, suppressing her annoyance. “Give me a call when you have something, I’d love to be involved.”
“Sure, I’ll call if I have something,” James said.
“Nice to meet you, Reyna,” Emma said, not waiting for the cheery “you too!” before she turned and headed for the door. When she put her hand on the doorknob, she looked back towards James in time to see his eyes flick up to her before he looked away just as quickly. To the untrained eye, James’s face would have looked fine, completely normal in fact. But to Emma, she saw the strain in his expression. He was holding a lot back and she could tell it was taking all of his fancy upbringing to maintain his composure.
________________________________________
Emma’s day didn’t improve after she left the newsroom and by the time she got home that evening, she was ready for a break. She was pleasantly surprised to see Zig sitting on the couch, watching a movie when she opened the front door.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, a grin breaking across her face. “What are you watching?” she asked as she headed to her room to drop off her book bag.
“Umm,” Zig said, looking slightly embarrassed. Emma looked over at the TV.
“Oh my god, are you watching Titanic?” Emma asked, shocked.
“What?” Zig demanded sheepishly. “It’s a good movie!”
“I never said it wasn’t,” Emma grinned, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Do you want to watch it with me?”
“Absolutely!” Emma exclaimed. “However, I’ve had kind of a crap day, so if you don’t object, I’m going to turn it into a drinking game.”
“Hey, that sounds fun,” Zig said, sitting up a little straighter. “I’ll join you.” Emma retrieved a bottle of whiskey and two glasses and set all three down on the coffee table. “What are the rules?”
“Hmm …” Emma said thoughtfully. “You have to drink every time someone makes a reference to the boat being unsinkable.”
“Of course,” Zig agreed. “And every time there’s a reference to Jack being poor.”
“Oh! And every time Cal or his man servant does something creepy,” Emma added as she poured generous glasses for each of them.
“I think I’m in trouble,” Zig said as he accepted the glass from Emma.
“Cheers,” Emma grinned, clinking glasses with him.
________________________________________
By the time the ship started to go down into the Atlantic Ocean, both Zig and Emma were beginning to feel the effects of the whiskey. When the montage began of the passengers in their rooms who were giving up and waiting for the water to rise, Emma reached over for the bottle to top off their glasses. As she poured, she heard a loud sniff. She looked back at Zig just in time to see him roughly wipe away a tear with the back of his hand.
“Zig, are you crying?” Emma asked incredulously. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him cry.
“No! It’s just … an eyelash,” he said, rubbing at his eyes again.
“Oh, Zig!”
“Oh, come on! How are you not crying?!” Zig exclaimed. “The mom and her kids, the old couple lying on the bed–you’d have to be a robot to not cry at that.”
Emma set down the whiskey bottle and sat back on the couch. She reached over and rested her hand against his cheek, wiping away a tear with her thumb.
“I’m sorry, I’m not making fun of you,” Emma said sympathetically. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
She leaned over and kissed his salty cheek, but for some reason she didn’t move away when she was done. Zig turned his face slightly towards her until they were facing one another, their noses brushing against each other. Emma slowly slid her hand from his cheek around to the back of his neck. Zig moved a little closer, their lips almost touching, as she tentatively put his hand on her knee. Emma felt overwhelmed by her senses, Zig’s fingers on top of her jeans, his breath on her lips, her hand on his neck, his hair tickling her skin.
Finally, Emma closed the gap and kissed him. Zig kissed her slowly, taking his time as he tasted her lips. Then he deepened the kiss and Emma felt like she fell in through the bottom of the ocean where nothing else existed except the two of them. The kiss was mercuric and she never, ever wanted it to stop. Emma moved a little closer to him on the couch and Zig slid his hand up her thigh to her hip, drawing her in, when suddenly he pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Zig said, closing his eyes for a moment. It took Emma a moment to realize where she was after losing herself so deeply in the kiss, but then she sat back on the couch.
“That’s okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I–” Emma started quickly.
“No, Emma–”
“No, please, I get it, we’re roommates, this is a bad idea–”
“Emma, wait!” Zig said as he caught her gaze and looked her straight in the eyes. “It’s not a bad idea. Well,” he corrected himself, “maybe it is because of the whole roommate thing, but that’s not why I …” He took a deep breath. “Emma, if we’re going to do this, I don’t want to be your rebound.”
“I’m not rebounding,” she said, the words sounding dry and empty even as she said them. Zig looked at her in a way that told her that he definitely did not believe her.
“You and James only split up a few weeks ago after being together for a year. Plus, so far this is only a break, right? You could still get back together.”
Emma opened her mouth to protest but Zig soldiered on before she could say anything.
“Wait, Emma,” he said. “Just listen. If I don’t say this now, I might completely lose my nerve, so I just have to get this out now.”
Emma nodded.
“Emma, if we do this … I don’t want to be your rebound. I–” He licked his lips nervously and it took all of Emma’s resolve to keep from kissing them again. “I have feelings for you. I have since the day I met you, and if we do this, I want to be all in. You jump, I jump, Jack.”
Emma stared at him, processing this information. James had been right, Zig had feelings for her. Lately she’d been feeling something more for him as well, but was it enough to jump? If she was completely honest with herself … no. Not with everything still unresolved with James.
When Emma didn’t say anything, Zig gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand before he stood up.
“I think I’m going to go to bed,” he said.
“You don’t want to watch the rest of the movie?” Emma asked, not wanting him to leave.
“I’m not sure I should,” Zig said slowly. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Goodnight, Emma.”
“Night, Zig.”
Zig went into his bedroom and closed the door before he lay down heavily on his bed. He knew he’d done the right thing by stopping the kiss, but he could still feel that kiss throughout his whole body, all the way down to his toes. It hadn’t been at all like he’d imagined, and instead it was so much more. He stayed where he was on his bed, replaying the moment over and over in his head until he finally fell asleep, still fully clothed.
________________________________________
Emma could still feel the imprint of his lips on her cheek as he closed his bedroom door. She turned back to the movie and tried to watch the rest of it, but her mind was too full to focus on much of anything outside her own head. She kept replaying the kiss over and over, still practically able to feel his hand on her leg and his mouth on hers.
Finally, as Rose threw the Heart of the Ocean into the water to join the wreckage of the once great ship, Emma heard her phone beep. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw she had a new text message from James.
Sorry it’s late, but I have an assignment for you for the paper–can you talk?
Emma looked back at Zig’s door longingly for a moment before she typed back a reply. A moment later the phone rang.
“Hi, James.”
If you enjoy my writing style, please consider supporting me on Patreon! 💕
