Summary: After meeting Savannah and hearing her story, MC (Riley Mason) realizes what she has to do for the man she loves.
“Dinner in fifteen minutes,” Maxwell said as they stopped outside Riley’s bedroom compartment on the train. “Unless you want to go now? I’m starving.”
Riley forced a smile but shook her head. If she didn’t get into her bedroom alone, she thought she was going to burst into tears where she stood and she didn’t want to explain that to Maxwell, not now. Maybe not ever.
“I’ve been traipsing around Paris all day in these clothes, I think I should change into something else,” Riley said. Maxwell grinned.
“See, that’s why you’ve got to go for an all black ensemble,” Maxwell said as he gestured to his outfit. “Black hides the dirt.”
“But not the smell.”
Surprised, Maxwell sniffed under one of his arms and then immediately recoiled, wrinkling his nose.
“Okay, maybe I’ll change, too. Meet you in the dining car?” he asked. Riley nodded and Maxwell left, leaving her with her own thoughts. She quickly opened the door to her bedroom and hurried inside, doing her best not to slam the sliding door behind her. Any loud noises might arouse suspicion. Once closed, she leaned against the door, slumped to the floor, and started to sob. She clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the great having cries that wracked her body while tears streamed over her fingers and down her forearm.
There was no other way. It had to be like this.
At first she’d been so happy to find Savannah, so happy for Drake to finally find his sister. He smiled so rarely and to watch him meet his nephew … Riley was so in love with Drake’s smile. Then there had been the elevator after they’d left Savannah’s apartment:
“Thanks for showing me how to hold Bartie,” Drake said. “You’re a natural with kids.”
“Hey, you’re not so bad yourself,” Riley said. “He warmed up to you really quickly, and babies are good judges of character.”
“I guess I’ll take it as a good sign for the future,” Drake said. “Maybe I’ll be an okay dad–as long as you’re there to help me out.”
Riley’s grinned at those words and she grinned as hopeful fantasies fluttered through her mind: Drake sweeping her into a hug when she told him she was expecting; Drake kissing her swollen belly and talking to their baby; watching Drake hold their baby for the first time. She kissed him as the numbers in the elevator ticked down to the lobby, his calloused palms brushing her cheeks.
“That sounds perfect,” she said.
But after Maxwell had joined them and they’d begun the limo ride back towards the train, a devastating thought had occurred to Riley: being with Drake, especially in the forever kind of way that she wanted, would be impossible. There were too many people relying on her to take a different path. Riley leaned her head back against the door to her bedroom and stared at the ceiling, her eyes following the textured paint whorls. How had this happened? She had just been a waitress in a bar and now here she was, crying in a train with the future security of at least four people contingent on her becoming a queen.
When it had just been Maxwell and Bertrand, it had been easier to envision a different kind of life for herself, a life with Drake. After everything the Beaumonts had done for her, she wanted to help them but if things didn’t work out with Liam, Riley had convinced herself that they would be okay. But that was before. Now that she knew about Savannah and Bartie, everything was different. Drake’s sister and his nephew were entirely dependent on the Beaumonts for survival and Riley knew she couldn’t turn her back on them in favor of her own selfish desires. True, there were many single moms all over the world who didn’t have someone bankrolling an expensive apartment and high end clothes who made it work, but Riley had a feeling that Savannah was unlikely to get a job anytime soon. However, none of that was Bartie’s fault–why should he have to suffer just because of his mother? Riley tried to tell herself that none of this was her problem, that Savannah and the Beaumonts should figure out their own lives like adults, but then she closed her eyes and thought of Drake holding his nephew. Riley couldn’t just turn her back on Bartie and Savannah because they were a part of Drake and he was a part of her.
Drake stretched out beside her in the narrow train bed, his skin still damp with sweat from the exertion. Riley curled her naked body around his, her body still echoing with the aftershock of pleasure.
“I love you,” he said. Those words still sent a thrill through her stomach every time he said them.
“I love you, too,” she said as she kissed him, pressing her lips to his smile.
They stayed in each other’s arms until the rocking of the train had finally lulled them to sleep.
Had that really only been last night? With everything she’d learned today, their last tryst felt like another lifetime.
Riley stood up, wiping her tear-slicked hands on her jeans. She had to pull herself together, she couldn’t show up at the dining car with her face all red and puffy. Riley took a washcloth and ran it under the faucet at the small sink in the corner before she pressed it to her face. The cold fabric was a relief against her hot skin as the terry cloth wiped away the tears she’d cried. She draped the washcloth over the edge of the sink basin and rifled through her bag until she found some clean clothes to change into. Without the press around, she was fairly certain Bertrand wouldn’t object to her wearing jeans to dinner. Or, at least, he wouldn’t object too much.
Riley had just pulled a fresh t-shirt on when she heard a knock at the door. “Come in,” she said, glancing quickly at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She didn’t look great, but she didn’t look awful either. The door slid aside to reveal Drake standing there.
“Hey,” he said. “I thought I’d escort you to the dining–are you okay?” he asked suddenly.
“Yes, why?” Riley asked, keeping her voice calm. Seeing Drake standing there, looking so beautiful and relaxed, was almost too much to bear, but she knew she had to keep her feelings in check for the time being.
“Your face is all red … have you been crying?” Drake asked as he quickly crossed the room to meet her, gently cupping her face in his hands.
“Oh, no, I was just washing my face,” Riley lied as she gestured to the washcloth as proof. Drake visibly sighed with relief.
“Okay, good,” he said, the smile returning to his face. “Hey, thanks for convincing me to stay today and talk to Savannah. Without you, I might’ve made a mistake and left and then I would’ve missed out on this.” Drake pulled the photo of him and his sister with her son out of his back pocket. Riley looked at the picture of the man she loved and his family, the reasons she was going to have to give up Drake and pursue a life with someone else. It wasn’t like she’d be stuck with someone horrible; Liam was great, wonderful in fact–but he wasn’t Drake and never would be.
“Mason,” Drake whispered. “Mason, wake up.”
“Hmm?” Riley asked, trying to pull herself out of a dream. “What time is it?”
“I’m not sure,” Drake said. “3:00? Maybe 3:30?”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Drake said. “I just … I had to talk to you about something and I couldn’t wait any longer.”
“Oh, yeah? What sort of something?” Riley asked as she grinned and ran a hand down the length of his naked body. Drake smiled and took her hand in his, kissing her fingers.
“No, it’s something else,” he said as she sat up. There wasn’t much room in Riley’s narrow bed on the train, but she followed suit and sat up as well.
“Is everything okay?” she asked. Drake took her hands in his.
“We’ve talked a lot about how to clear your name, but we haven’t talked very much about what’s going to happen after we do. And really, I have no idea because it’s impossible to be sure of much of anything. But the one thing I am sure of is how much I love you and how much I want to be with you.” Drake leaned over the edge of the bed to reach his jeans, which lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. He pulled something out of the pocket and held it out to Riley. She squinted in the semi-darkness and saw a thin leather cord tied into a circle. “I know it’s not much and I promise I’ll get you something much better in the future, but just think of it as a placeholder for now.”
“A placeholder?” Riley asked, her voice barely a whisper as the realization of what was happening washed over her.
“Riley Mason, will you marry me?” Drake asked. He’d barely gotten the words out when Riley grabbed him and kissed him, tangling her fingers in his hair.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” she whispered between kisses. “And don’t you dare replace that ring.”
“I kind of wish you’d been in the photo with us,” Drake said, a blush flooding his cheeks. “I mean, it’s a family photo, and you and I are … well, I guess there’s going to be enough time later for photos. A whole lifetime in fact.”
“Hey, this reunion was about you and your sister and getting to meet your nephew,” Riley said, trying to push away the ache in her chest.
Drake returned the photo to his back pocket before he leaned down and kissed Riley. She clung to him, pressing her lips to his with a desperate intensity while she wished that everything else would disappear and that she could live in this moment for the rest of her life.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Drake asked, studying her. “You seem off somehow.”
Riley nodded.
“It’s just been a long day,” she lied again, unable to tell him the truth. The lie was easier at the moment and it didn’t hurt as much. Riley knew she’d have to tell him sooner rather than later, but she convinced herself that “sooner” didn’t mean “now.”
“Let’s go get some dinner,” she suggested. “If we don’t go soon, Maxwell might eat everything before we get there.”
Drake rolled his eyes but he gave her one more kiss.
“Alright, let’s go,” he said. Riley followed him out of her bedroom and as she watched him walk before her, she felt tears pricking at her eyes again but she forced the feeling away. There’d be more than enough time for tears later. A lifetime’s worth without him.
