Saucier than Fiction

Prompt: Imagine your OTP finding fanfiction of themselves on the internet. Person A is not amused, but Person B thinks it’s hilarious and keeps reading bits out to A to make them blush.

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‘Hey babe.’

Walking into the kitchen one afternoon, Matt Rodriguez was mildly surprised to find his girlfriend Samantha Evans at the kitchen counter, hunched over her iPad with a look of slight horror on her pretty face. Judging by how her blue eyes scanned the screen from behind thick black rimmed glasses, she seemed to be reading something quite fascinating, her expression getting more intense as she read on.

‘So whatcha reading?’ He asked, helping himself to some orange juice from the fridge. Samantha just grunted vaguely at his question, barely acknowledging his presence. He frowned, not used to being ignored for a book.

Samanthaa,’ Matt tried again, his voice taking on a sing song tone.

‘Hmm?’ Her eyes remained glued to the screen as she moved her hand over her mouth, obviously in shock from whatever she was reading.

His interest was piqued again as he watched her cheeks flush bright red as she continued to read. Curious as to what could possibly prevent her from replying, Matt sidled up behind her until her screen was in his line of view. A couple of seconds passed until a wide grin grew on his face as he realised what she was reading.

”And Samantha grabbed my hand, her captivating blue orbs shining like diamonds from the deepest caverns in the summer sun rays as they filtered through the lush green palms fronds that swayed above. “Oh Tim, I can’t tell you how much you mean to me!”’ He read out loud in an overdramatic voice. ‘“How could I possibly repay you for all you have done!”

‘Matt!’ Samantha yelled and he ducked out of reach of his girlfriend’s swinging fist, almost doubled over with laughter. He continued to hoot with laughter as she glared at him, partly out of annoyance and partly because she’d been caught.

‘I’m not even sorry! That was terrible,’ he gasped. ‘I can’t believe you’re actually reading fan fiction about yourself! “Oh Tim!’ Matt mimicked before dissolving into more laughter.

‘Alright you’ve had your fun,’ Samantha grumbled, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for him to stop.

‘Oh babe,’ he said, coming up to hug her. ‘I just find it so cute how you were actually so into that.‘

She crossed her arms defiantly as he kissed her head lightly. ‘So what if I was? The writer probably put so much effort into that.’

‘Mmm true,’ he mused, his hands searching until they closed on the device behind her. ‘Which is why we should read what happens to you and Tim!’ He whipped the iPad out from behind her.

‘No Matt it only gets worse!’ She scrambled to grab it out of his hands but he was too quick, dancing out of her reach. ‘Give it back!’

‘No way,’ he shouted, leaping back to put some space between the two of them. ‘I’ve just gotten to the good part too.’

Samantha gave chase and the two of them dashed through his house as Matt read out more select excerpts from the fan fiction between hoots of laughter.

‘Okay OKAY YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT!’ She shouted as he evaded her grasp yet again, ducking behind the couch.

‘So you admit that you read terrible fan fiction!’ Matt declared triumphantly as they both panted. ‘And liked it?’

Samantha’s lips twitched, her pride still not giving in. ‘If I say yes will you give me my iPad back?’

‘No.’

‘Fine then.’

Before Matt could react, Samantha had vaulted over the couch and launched herself at him. He was off balance and the force from her jump knocked them both to the floor. Pinning his arms under her body, she sat on his torso, grasping her iPad in victory.

‘Oh yeah Rodriguez. Let’s see what dirt I can dig up on you. It shouldn’t be very hard since you’re a mega Hollywood super star with an army of thirsty fangirls.’

Matt’s eyes widened as he stared up at her. ‘Oh no Sam you don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. Trust me there are a lot of dark things there that should never see the light of day.’

A devilish grin appeared on her face as Samantha’s fingers hovered over the screen, tapping out a quick google search. ‘You should know that saying that to me will only make me want to do it more.’

‘You wouldn’t,’ he challenged, looking her dead in the eye as his apprehension grew.

‘I would,’ she retorted as her finger came down on the ‘Enter’ key. ‘And I have. Now let’s see what we have here.’

He tried to wiggle out of her grasp but he was in too awkward a position.

“Oh Matt” Tereza moaned as the handsome actor’s glass cut abs pressed into her quivering body. “How can I resist you?”’ Samantha read aloud, mimicking his earlier tone. ‘“After you saved me from those crazy reporters, I am forever in your debt.”’ 

She laughed heartily. ‘God this is worse than the one about me!’

Matt groaned from underneath her. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

Samantha switched into another story, picking out the best bits to read aloud. ‘“Matt’s steel grey eyes cut piercingly into mine as our eyes brushed each other from across the crowded room.” You don’t even have grey eyes!’

‘Are you quite finished? My blood circulation is getting cut off here,’ he complained impatiently.

Giggling, Samantha merely winked at him as she continued to flick through. the stories before settling on one Her eyes flitted across the words and suddenly she paused laughter drying in her throat as she scrolled through.

‘Oh.’

‘What?’ He questioned before closing his eyes in annoyance. ‘Oh god it’s gotta be one of those BDSM fantasies isn’t it?’

‘Weeell… you’re not wrong,’ she remarked, sliding off him. ‘This one is about us actually.’

‘What?’ Matt twisted his body to get a better view of the iPad. ‘It’s surprisingly quite good,’ he admitted after a moment, his eyes scanned the screen. ‘Very descriptive.’

Matt looked up at Samantha, watching as as her blue eyes filled with lust. The two shared an intense heated gaze, a silent understanding passing between them.

Let’s just say that what came next was saucier than fiction… 

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