Summary: A long night in the hospital causes Liam’s buried emotions to come to the surface.
‘Sir, sir.’
A woman’s voice woke Liam from the shallow sleep he’d unknowingly drifted into. As he fought through the haze of fatigue, the red numerals of the digital clock stood out to him.
4:47am.
A nurse stood in front of him, clad in blue scrubs, clutching her clipboard.
‘Mr Walker is out of surgery, we have placed him into a private room as you requested and you will be able to see him shortly. He is in room 143.’
Liam gave her a quick nod before looking at the sleeping woman in his arms. Nestled against his side, Elizabeth’s dark hair was scattered over his shoulder, tear tracks faint on her cheeks. She looked so serene that Liam hesitated at first to wake her but he knew she would want to see Drake. Her unfocused gaze cleared at the mention of his name and she sprang up instantly, desperate get to him.
Liam covered the distance in a few paces. ‘Elizabeth, you’re going the wrong way.’
She allowed him to lead her to the room but when he opened the door, he felt her body tense at the sight before her.
Drake lay on the bed, his face deathly white except for the dark circles carved beneath his eyes, almost extending under the oxygen mask that covered his mouth and nose. A nurse was adjusting the various tubes connecting him to the ventilator, drip, heart rate monitor. The stark white bandage on his bare chest was unmissable, spanning dangerously close to his heart and Liam gulped at the sight of his best friend. He watched Elizabeth rush over to the man she loved, her fingers tracing delicate lines across his cheeks.
‘Oh Drake,’ she choked out. ‘This is all my fault…’
Liam shook his head slightly even though she could not see it. Elizabeth gripped Drake’s limp hand in her small one and from his position at the threshold, Liam could see her diamond tears glistening before sinking into the bedspread. He could not help but feel like an intruder on the intimate scene and almost reflexively cleared his throat to ease the tension, accidentally attracting Elizabeth’s attention.
‘I’ll… uh… I’m gonna check in with Bastien to see how things are going back at the palace,’ he mumbled awkwardly.
The sun was beginning to rise when Liam returned to Drake’s room. With the remaining assassins captured, Bastien and his team were in the process of interrogating them. His parents has assured him that they would handle the morning press but Liam knew the media would want to hear from the king.
Elizabeth had fallen asleep in the chair beside Drake’s bed, her hair splayed across the mattress, her hand still clasping his. Liam’s entrance caused her to stir.
‘Are you going back to the palace now?’ She raised her head to look at him.
’Soon,’ he replied, gently stroking her dark head. ‘Do you want some coffee?’
‘Mmm coffee would be good,’ she hummed sleepily before rising from the chair. ‘I’ve been dying to go to the bathroom too but I didn’t want to leave him.’
‘I’ll stay with him.’ Liam reassured and received a grateful smile from her.
Now alone with Drake, the host of tangled emotions that Liam had been suppressing suddenly bubbled to the brim and he sank into the vacant chair.
Damn it Drake, why did you have to be so goddamn heroic?
A memory flashed in his mind. Drake saving his life when they were out sailing, diving in against the tides to save him without a second thought and a rush of guilt and regret flooded his chest. That had been one of the countless times his best friend had proved his loyalty to him and each time Liam had promised he’d do the same but in the time Drake needed him most, Liam had failed him.
Guilt, anger, frustration threatened to overwhelm his usual calm persona until –
‘I’m sorry Drake…’ Liam burst out, his voice laced with tears. ‘I failed you. I failed everyone, my parents, my country, my friends, my best friend… I am the king of an entire nation and I still couldn’t protect you.’
Hot tears rolled down his cheeks as he gripped his friend’s hand, a sense of helplessness overpowering other emotions.
‘Please forgive me.’ He gulped once before continuing, the words spilling from him of their own accord. ‘You never knew this… Heck I never knew this until recently but deep down I’d always envied you a little. It sounds crazy doesn’t it?’
A humourless laugh escaped Liam before he continued. ‘I had everything I could have ever wished for and yet I still envied you. While being a royal had many luxuries, the one I couldn’t afford was to live life for myself. It was always about putting forward a good image, saying the right thing, working for the good of the country. As a prince, it was my duty to entertain pompous nobles, while you could speak your mind, not caring what they thought of you. I was stuck in lessons on courtly protocol, you got to go camping with your family. You were…’
Liam shook his head to clarify. ‘You are like a brother to me Drake. While I would never begrudge you for these things, your freedom, your blatant disregard for the rules, ability to choose and forge your own path was what I envied most.’
Liam stared at his friend, still lying motionless on the bed, stunned at the veracity of his own words, wondering what had come over him to reveal all these secrets. Secrets he didn’t even know he had. However the metaphorical dam had only just erupted and Liam swallowed thickly before continuing.
‘I have no idea why I’m telling you this now… You must think me a weak man to only admit this when you’re in this state…’
A boulder of guilt pressed on his chest, threatening to squash him under its weight, to squeeze out every fibre of pretence he had kept up so he continued in a strangled voice. ‘I was selfish, angry with you. When Elizabeth told me she’d chosen you, I put on a brave face for her, telling her I was happy for her but deep down I wanted nothing more than to banish you.’
His voice was barely a whisper, tone raw with emotion but still he continued.
‘Yes I admit I did entertain the idea. It was selfish and arrogant but that’s what I wanted. Elizabeth was the only ray of light in this dull, mechanical procedure of becoming king. She radiated possibility and for once in my life, I wanted to choose the impossible. She was so enticing, like the forbidden fruit could never have, the prize hanging just out of my reach but I suppose I never really knew her. Not like you did. You were there when I couldn’t be, sometimes at my own request. While I fell in love with an idea of her, you fell in love with her. You were there for the moments in between, you got to see her at her most vulnerable, comfort her as a friend, protect her like a lover should. It hurt like a bitch but I swallowed it all down. I knew I couldn’t be the person to stand between you.’
‘Come back for her,’ Liam found himself pleading. ‘If not for me, then for her. She is a wonderful woman who deserves the world. And if I cannot give it to her, you can bet that I’m going to make it a better place for you both. I promise you that brother.’
Elizabeth stood at the threshold and from here Liam could see the tears shimmering in her eyes and her mouth dropped open to speak only to be silenced by a cautionary hand from him.
‘However much of that you heard… Uhhh… I’m not ready to talk about that now,’ he croaked, still reeling from his confessions.
Before he could process the action, Elizabeth had wrapped him in a tight hug, her cheek against his chest, head nestled under his chin. The feeling of her in his arms was like rubbing salt in the wounds of his soul so soon after he’d bared his emotions entirely. He allowed the embrace to continue for a moment longer before pulling away and holding her at arms length, shaking his head as she began to speak again. She offered him a watery smile which he returned though he couldn’t quite meet her eyes.
With that Liam turned his back on the two people he loved most to face what the day would bring him, ready to make the world better for them both.