Request from @aryn-choices : 34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
OKay, per request I jumped on the drunk!fic-writing bandwagon! This is not good at all and not meant to be taken seriously. I’m posting it now while i”m still drunk because Sober me would not approve. Not edited at all. Sort of a sequel to Postscript, so the double sequel to Let’s Run Away Together. Enjoy.
(Also, I was listening to Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff while I wrote this, that song is a fucking bop)
Hana set the bags on the kitchen counter with a sigh. She hoped she was wrong – she really, really hoped she was wrong. But no. Her parents were right all along. She and Kara had sex. A lot (A LOT) of sex. And now she was pregnant.
The clock on the wall read five after six. Kara would be home any minute, and Hana was not at all prepared. Taking a deep breath, she opened the first bag. A small, pink box was sitting there, right between the 7up and the chocolate bars. She gnawed on her lip as she debated opening it now, or waiting until her finance got home and could provide some much needed support.
No, Hana, Hana thought. You should be excited! You and Kara are getting married! You’re gonna have a baby! This is amazing!
Hana snorted to herself. “I wouldn’t call it amazing.”
Good?
“Mmm…”
Fine?
“There you go,” Hana nodded. “Now kindly leave me alone, I must think.”
Don’t you tell me what to do, you-
Her argument with herself was interrupted by the front door opening.
“Honey, I’m home!” Kara sing-sogned into the apartment. She sang under her breath as she shimmied through the door, leaving it open behind her. “Metamorphosis, what ever this is, what ever I’m going through, come on and give me a kiss-“
“Darling?”
Kara whipped her head to the serious note in her love’s voice. “Everything okay, sweetie pie?”
“Um, you might want to sit for this,” she said meekly, pointing tot the couch.
Kara sat, frown gracing her features. “What’s up, buttercup?”
Hana took a deep breath. “Kara…my period’s two days late.” She clasped her hands together expectantly, but Kara’s brows just furrowed, so she gulped and continued. “And I threw up this morning.” No, this wasn’t going well at all. Kara didn’t seem to be catching on, she just looked concerned now. “Kara…do you think I might be…I mean…I think I’m pregnant.”
Karas eyes widened exponentially at that. “W-what?”
“I bought a pregnancy test.”
Kara stood and started pacing, becoming seriously agitated. “Hana, I don’t understand. How can you be-how is this possible?” Bile rose in her throat and she swallowed it down. Ew.
“Kara, this is a good thing!”
Kara exploded at that, flipping the coffee table with a roar-like yell. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE PREGNANT??”
“I THOUGHT YOU’D BE HAPPY!” Hana cried, staring devastated at her favorite table, now upside down near her feet. Somehow Hana still looked perfect – more perfect than usual, even – and it pissed Kara off. How can she look so perfect while ripping Kara’s heart out fo her chest.
She was angry enough that her filter disappeared. “I DON’T HAVE A DICK, HANA!”
Hana gasped at the crude language. “I don’t understand! I thought you loved me!”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to make me feel guilty for being upset about this,” Kara muttered, eerily calm now. “You cheated on me.” She sighed, resigned. “I never expected you off all people to do this to me.”
“What? Kara, I didn’t cheat on you!” Hana was baffled. What did adultery have to do with this?
Kara scoffed. She flopped back on the couch dramatically. “Okay. Right. I forgot, MY TONGUE CREATES SPERM!”
Hana raised an eyebrow, getting ticked off herself. Her fiancé was so extra™. “Kara, look, we have a lot of sex. This was bound to happen eventually.”
This made Kara raise her head curiously. Wait a minute… “Hana, how are babies made?”
“Um,” Hana hesitated. She thought Kara was so smart! Does she really not know how babies are made? “Okay, well, when two people have sex, it creates this kind of energy inside of them, and that energy can build up to create a baby. The more you do it, the more likely your chances of the energy fully forming – why are you laughing?”
THUMP! Kara fell off the couch, tears falling from her eyes as she full belly laughed. “Oh, oh my-“
“Kara!” Hana pouted. “What’s going on?”
Eventually, Kara got ahold of herself. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just…that’s not how it works, cutie. God, I can’t believe I actually thought you’d cheat on me, I’m the worst person ever!
Hana’s brows furrowed. “We can come back to that later. What do you mean that’s not how it works?”
Kara climbed back up on the couch and grabbed Hana’s hand, pulling her to straddle her lap. “Honey, you’re not pregnant.”
“But-but my period, and the puking!”
“Babe, two days is nothing. And we ordered the spiciest stuff on the menu from that Thai take-out place, remember? That’s probably why you threw up. Come on, I’ll get you some medicine and 7up.”
Kara tapped Hana’s thigh to get her off (pfft), but she didn’t move. “Well then…how are babies made?”
Kara sighed, resigned to her fate. “Well…”
