The Only Choice
By Misha
Disclaimer- Not mine. I am just borrowing them for a little while and will return them unharmed.
Author’s Notes- This is a challenge fic using the dialogue prompts “Are you jealous” and “it’s ok, you’re cute when you are angry”. This is set a couple days after Raydan and Kenna’s wedding. I find jealousy hard to write because there is such a fine line between what is understandable and what is concerning, but I think I did ok.
Pairing- Raydan/Kenna
Summary- Raydan witnesses a moment between Diavolos and Kenna which triggers his doubt and insecurities about his place at Kenna’s side.
Rating- PG
Words- 996
“King Diavolos,” Kenna greed with a smile.
“Your majesty, just the person I was looking for,” he told her with a smile of his own, “we’ll be departing for Lykos soon.”
“Have a safe journey,” she bade. She had grown fond of Diavolos in the short period of time she had known him, he was much more than just his father’s son. “Are you looking forward to going home?”
“Sort of.” He said with a shrug, “the last time I was there, I was in the dungeon, so it’ll be nice to be back in my own chambers, but then there’s that whole ruling thing. I can’t believe I’m king.”
“I can,” Kenna said sincerely, “you’re going to do a great job.”
“You’re just happy that Zenobia’s not going to be running the place,” he teased. Kenna simply shrugged, not bothering to deny it. “I know that the Knights of Abanthus have caused a lot of pain and damage during the last few years,” he said after a moment, the teasing note disappearing, “but those days are behind us and you have my solemn vow that Abanthus is committed to peace and that we look forward to forging a lasting alliance with Stormholt and the other realms of the Five Kingdoms.”
“We look forward to forging a strong relationship with Abanthus,” Kenna said sincerely.
Diavolos took her hand and kissed it. “Be happy, Kenna, you deserve it.” She thought she detected a hint of wistfulness but it was gone so quickly that she might have imagined it.
“I will,” she assured him and, on impulse, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I hope you find happiness as well, Diavolos, you deserve it.”
He shrugged. “As I told you once, I’m not sure what that feels like, but for you, I’ll try.”
Kenna watched him disappear down the hall and then turned back towards the throne room. As she entered the room, she became aware that she wasn’t alone.
“Sneaking in the shadows again,” She teased her husband.
He simply shrugged. “It’s a difficult habit to break, besides you learn so much from the shadows. Until now I hadn’t realized just how friendly you and King Diavolos were.”
Kenna stiffened at the accusation. “What are you implying?” She assumed he had witnessed her kissing Diavolos’s cheek, but she had nothing to hide. It had been a friendly gesture, nothing more.
“Just curious as to what sets him apart from your other allies?” He queried and she could detect anger in his voice, which was ridiculous. “I’ve never seen you embrace Queen Rowan, for example.” Despite the harshness of the accusation, something in his face made Kenna soften.
“Raydan, are you jealous?”
“Can you blame me?” He asked after a moment. “He’s the man you should have married. It would have been the perfect match. He’s a king in his own right, head of a powerful kingdom and marrying him would have boosted Stormholt’s fortunes and ended all the tension between your kindgoms.”
“Maybe, but his father tried to assassinate me and I killed his brother,” Kenna reminded him, “I feel like the family drama alone would have put a big crimp in a romantic relationship. If I’d wanted one, which I didn’t.”
“Are you telling me you weren’t attracted to him?”
“I didn’t say that,” Kenna said honestly, “he’s an attractive man.” She’d been honest with Raydan about her one kiss with Diavolos, which had happened before there had been any commitment between him. “I enjoyed kissing him, it was nice. But that’s all it was. Nice. It didn’t make my heart melt, didn’t fill me with longing or make me ache for more. Only one man’s kiss can do that to me.”
She stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He instantly wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.
“Maybe Diavolos would have been the better political choice,” she admitted, “but I refused to pick my husband based on politics. I didn’t want a convenient marriage. I wanted to marry for love and I don’t love Diavolos. I love you.”
“And I you,” he told her, staring into her eyes, “more than I could put into words and because I love you, I should not have doubted you. It was very foolish of me.”
“It’s ok, you’re cute when you’re angry,” Kenna teased and then her expression softened, “Raydan, it’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes. You don’t have to hide your emotions, not with me. But you also have no reason to be jealous. Diavolos is a friend, but that’s all he will ever be. Yes, I embraced him because I care about him, he saved my life. But my feelings for him will never compare to what I feel for you.”
“I know,” Raydan said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “I guess I still have a hard time believing that this is real, that you chose me.”
“Always,” she assured him, “You are the only one I want by my side. I think I’ve known that since that first night in the garden, but it took me a while to admit because I was scared of what I felt for you. Scared that I could love someone so deeply.”
“I loved you as soon as I saw you,” he told her quietly, “but I told myself that you could never be mine, that a flirtation was the best I could hope for. So I flirted and stole kisses and told myself that it was enough, all the while knowing it wasn’t. I wanted so much more, even though I told myself that I couldn’t have that, that you could never be mine. Then… Against all odds, you chose me and I still feel like I’m living in a dream.”
“It’s not a dream,” she assured him, “it’s real life. Our life, the one we are going to share, and I can’t wait to see what it brings.”
- End
