Summary: After a shocking confession, Elizabeth comes to terms with her resulting situation.
Elizabeth felt the sound of the slamming parlour door resounding in her very soul. Still in shock at what had just happened, she slumped against the corridor wall, her strength seemed to fail her as the weight of what had just happened hit her with colossal force. She had just lost the man she loved.
Drake.
Her Drake.
He didn’t have to say it out loud for her to connect the dots.
Elizabeth had caught Penelope’s earlier question, Kiara’s astonishment, looking somewhat akin to a deer caught in headlights but she brushed it off in ignorance, putting it down to the crush the other girl had on her fiancé in the early stages of Liam’s engagement tour. She’d heard the clink of glass as Drake moved to fill his non-so-empty tumbler of whiskey as Kiara declined the question.
Perhaps it was the alcohol flowing in her system, taking its effect or a her own blissful ignorance that had lead her to ask her question in innocence, unknowingly bringing about the end of the relationship as she knew it.
She watched his eyes slide over to Kiara’s, exchanging what she thought was a puzzled look. For a moment Elizabeth had considered dropping the subject because surely this was all a coincidence. A random assortment of facts that appeared to have some connection when laid out in a particular order.
Right?
She had been teetering on the brink of the decision when she heard it.
His nervous cough.
She’d learnt his tell months ago, that cough that only occurred when he was lying or hiding something. He’d do it subtly during conversations with members of the court before executing a perfectly sound lie to their probing questions but she had never ever imagined she’d hear it directed at her.
And in that moment she knew.
The realisation required a few moments before it permeated into her brain during which her irrational mind seemed to insist, He’s my fiancé, he’d never do something like this, he loves me. No stop stop! Its not like that, a part of her insisted. Surely there’s logical explanation for it, she chastised herself but as the silence expanded, she couldn’t ignore the little voice inside her that whispered back.
‘What if that is the logical explanation?’
Elizabeth gave him a chance to deny the accusation with his signature scoff and a shake of his unruly hair, to put her obviously overactive imagination at ease, reassuring her ’You’re the only one for me Richmond’ as he’d done on occasions before.
Instead betrayal, guilt and regret were etched on every fibre of his irises as they flitted around the room, taking interest in every other element except her but even so some part of her still held out, refusing to believe that the man she loved could have inflicted so much pain. His blatant denial, a feeble attempt to be a balm to her suspicion had the opposite effect and every word of his admission was like another whip of the lash, drawing fresh wounds upon the open plane of her soul.
As Drake sat opposite her, tears gushing down both their faces, Elizabeth wanted so badly to wrap herself up in his safe and familiar scent, to seek comfort in the contours of his embrace, to take solace in the blissful lie that everything would be okay in the end but she remained paralysed unable to move or speak.
When her vocal chords finally decided to function, the voice they created was completely alien to her and it was as if she had risen up out of her body and was watching the scene from bleachers above. Her expressionless face made a firm barrier to the turmoil and unrest hiding underneath as she numbly removed heirloom ring, his grandmother’s ring encircling her finger, ignoring how every nanometre of skin seemed to shriek as the warm metal passed over it. His desperate pleads did little to persuade her otherwise and in a deafening sense finality, the ring was left on the table between them and with it, her entire future.
Concerned faces drifted into her field of vision now, hovering over her rumpled form, they seemed to be calling her name, asking if she was alright.
Couldn’t they tell that she just wanted to be left here, to become one with the concrete beneath her feet and never feel again?
‘I’m fine,’ Elizabeth barked, ignoring Liam’s outstretched hand as she pushed herself to her feet.
The absence of a weight on her left hand where the fourth finger met her knuckle almost threw her off balance and she whipped a hand against the wall to support herself. She didn’t trust herself to retain composure much longer so it was imperative that she said her piece. Her tongue felt flat and heavy in her mouth as she forced the words out.
‘Maxwell, have Bertrand call off the engagement and the wedding.’
Maxwell’s big eyes grew even bigger with shock written clearly across his face. ‘But Elizabeth -‘
‘I’m not asking as a friend Maxwell, I’m telling you as a Duchess.’ The venom in her voice caused him to recoil as if she’d struck him.
A flicker of remorse sparked. Maxwell didn’t deserve that.
She made to apologise but stopped herself and in the interest of maintaining some dignity Elizabeth turned her back on their astonished faces, rushing blindly down the corridors, desperately hoping to make it to her room without any further interaction before the dam of emotion inside her broke.
Luck, however, was not on her side this night as the dark haired diplomat stood hesitantly in her path.
‘E-Elizabeth I just wanted to say I’m sorry,’ Kiara began warily. ‘I never intended it to go that far. I-‘
‘Save your excuses for someone who actually cares,’ she spat back, brushing past her roughly.
Kiara caught her arm as she did. ‘Wait! No… Elizabeth stop. I know you probably hate me right now but we should talk about this!’
Anger flared in Elizabeth as she wrenched herself from the other woman’s grip. ‘Talk about what Kiara? I have nothing to say to you. You’ve ruined my relationship, doesn’t that say enough?’
Not bothering to wait for an answer, she pressed onward. By some miracle the hallways were empty and soon enough she was pushing the door to her suite open, her hands shaking as they clasped around the knob, barely able to turn the lock behind her before her body failed her and she hit the floor hard, the force on her kneecaps barely holding a candle to the agony inside her. A great well of despair swelled up from somewhere deep inside her, threatening to consume her mind with its devastating effects, translating into an intense physical pain that seared through her body. Words could not describe how it seemed to slide under her skin, scraping up her spine and under her scalp, perpetuating itself almost perfectly in the ugly, violent sobs that rocked her person.
Ignoring the insistent pounding on the door, Elizabeth dragged herself to the window seat looking out into the dark night, desperate to put more distance between herself and their pleas to just let us in, let us help you. She almost wished she’d never pursued the matter. Never asked that goddamn question.
Oh why couldn’t she have just dropped it?
Then they would have been able to continue on with their lives, the tour and this weddi- A little voice of reason rose up from through the storm inside her, purposefully putting a stop to that train of thought. As much as it hurt her to admit it, deep down she knew it would have only been worse for her in the long run, to find out later. At least now she had put a stop to it before either of them did anything they would later regret.
But had she really though? Put a stop to it?
She could find no indication that Drake’s confession wouldn’t continue to haunt her every time thoughts of him or Kiara wandering into her mind. How could she think of anything else the next time she saw their faces? Thinking of how she got to see him in such an intimate way long before she ever did.
What if he had been comparing her to Kiara?
For one horrible moment, her mind grappled with the thought before it became too much to bear and she forcibly shoved it out of her brain. In the moment that followed, Elizabeth had fantasised quite vividly about running her nails down the clear skin of Kiara’s face, tearing at her perfectly styled hair, to pound her fists into her flawless figure, just so the other woman could know a tiny fraction of the pain that had resulted from this whole mess. Elizabeth knew that she lacked every ability to hold a grudge but the urge faded away more slowly this time. This was the ultimate act of betrayal. This was-
The pure rage that raced through Elizabeth was abruptly interrupted by the sound of her bedroom door slamming open and a livid figure stood menacingly on the threshold, her features arranged in a glare.
’M-Madeline? How did yo-‘
‘Oh please do you really think a locked door can stop me,’ her press secretary scoffed, looking offended as she executed a perfect eye roll. ’Now explain yourself. What is this crap I hear about you wanting to call off the engagement?’
Elizabeth never heard Madeline swear before and under other circumstances, she would have considered it a personal victory to have elicited such a response from the usually composed countess.
‘There’s nothing more to it,’ she replied hollowly instead. ‘The wedding is off.’
Madeline’s eyes blazed. ‘No it is not. You’re just being a selfish child. Liam is taking a massive gamble with your stupid proposal and for reasons I can’t quite understand, it is actually doing some good for Cordonia so you’d better put your pathetic little feelings behind you and stop acting like a little b-’
‘Remember that you’ve been working for me Madeleine,’ Elizabeth’s voice took on the same cutting tone she’d used with Maxwell earlier as she pulled herself to her full height a few inches taller than her counterpart. ‘And if you still want that role in my duchy, I advise that you stop telling me how I should be acting.’
Her companion was silent, the conflict rolling off her in waves. Sensing that the countess was about to speak, Elizabeth beat her to it, unable to stop her voice from cracking at the end.
‘Madeline you probably enjoying this but I beg you, for once in your life, please just leave me alone in peace to grieve the relationship I’ve lost.’
What followed was a brief stalemate as the two women eyed each other defiantly before Madeline conceded first, nodding her head once before turning on her heel and exiting the room, the door closing behind her with a pronounced click.
Elizabeth remained speechless, rooted to the spot, unable to fully comprehend what had just occurred. She was only broken out of her trance by a terrifying clap of thunder as the foreboding clouds finally gave way to the torrents of rain. Ignoring every word caution she’d received from her grandmother as a child to not go near any windows during a storm, she settled herself on the window seat again. Lightning lit up the sky in wonderful bursts and she was almost grateful for the luminosity imprinting itself on her retinas, an effective distraction from her own personal tempest inside. No more tears flowed now, she was too dehydrated for that but the rain seemed to fulfill this task for her, beating down in merciless sheets against the walls of the manor. She watched the storm rage on outside while inside she grew more and more numb.
It must have been hours when a gentle knock on her door caused Elizabeth to raise her head slightly from where it had rested against the window in a fitful slumber. The first rays of sunlight had not yet emerged behind the horizon and in the delirious, fleeting moment between sleep and full wakefulness, she hoped it was him. But that thought disappeared almost as quickly as it came, as the events of the day before reappeared in her mind, bringing with them a fresh round of heartache.
‘Its open,’ she croaked in a voice of broken glass, throat run raw from the abuse of constant sobbing.
His shoulders were too narrow, his actions to refined to be the person she wanted to see most as he entered quietly
‘Liam,’ she greeted him weakly, attempting to stand up but her limbs, stiff from being clasped in the same position for so long, refused to hold her up and the impact of the floor on her body was more forceful this time.
At once his arms were encircled her, a welcome warmth to the vivid chill that had seeped through the thin material her previous night’s dress. The action itself was meant to inspire comfort, reassurance that it was okay but somehow his embrace didn’t feel right, his arms weren’t the ones she wanted to be wrapped in.
Leaning into his warm chest, Elizabeth wondered what life could have been like if she had accepted his proposal of marriage. As his queen, she would have had a stable future ahead of her and the security that came with it. That fantasy seemed so much more appealing than her current pitiful one but it would be-
She roughly yanked her mind from pursuing that train of thought.
It would be unspeakably cruel in her moment of weakness to give him hope where there was none. She couldn’t do that to him – Liam deserved more than just a rebound, he deserved someone who could love him as a king not a consolation prize. She loved him but he would never be able to fill the gaping crater in her soul in the way that she craved.
‘I’m sorry Liam… I am so sorry,’ she murmured into his shirt, feeling astonishment ripple through his body and the hand that had been stroking her tangled hair paused.
‘You have nothing to be sorry for, Elizabeth,’ he began to say.
‘All I’ve ever brought you is heartache,’ she gushed. ‘Ever since I stepped off that damn plane, I’ve made things worse for you and your people. I wasn’t good enough as a suitor and now as a duchess I’m even more inadequate coz the one event that had any hope of uniting your country has backfired.’
Confounded, Liam opened his mouth to speak but Elizabeth barrelled onward, the words spilling from her mouth in such a torrent, he saw no option but to let her run her course.
‘If I had never come here, there would have never been a scandal at your coronation, you would have found the perfect wife, your engagement tour would have gone on without a single hitch. If it wasn’t for me, you would have your best friend back, your future as king would have been secure, your country would not have been have been in such turmoil under the threat of their king getting sho-‘
‘Elizabeth,’ he interrupted, allowing some of his kingly authority to enter into his tone, achieving the response he had intended as she tipped her head up to look at him in surprise. ‘None of that is your fault. You can’t possibly blame the entire misfortunes that have occurred in the last year on yourself. There is no way of knowing that all that would have happened if you were here or not and there is no point now in spending anymore energy this. For all we know, I could have ended up in exactly the same place and it would have been neither your fault or mine.’
His words appealed to the more logical portion of her brain and after the words sunk, her breathing evened out and she felt as though she was seeing clearly for the first time in a long time.
‘Now are we good?’ He asked, pulling away so he could look her in the eyes.
‘We’re good.’ Elizabeth chuckled slightly at his colloquial choice of wording before her eyes widened. ‘So what does this mean for Cordonia…? Calling off the wedding I mean?’
As each word left her mouth, it added to the dread and anxiety that has accumulated in her stomach since the night before. Liam dropped his hands from her shoulders, his face growing sombre as he turned away from her, the light from the morning sun highlighting the strands of gold on his head. He opened his mouth to answer her but thought better of it and instead released a weary sigh sinking down into the desk chair. He ran a hand over his face, worry etched in his figure and was quiet for a moment before delivering his answer in a grim voice.
‘I hadn’t put much thought into it but I guess once we announce it publicly today the news will be official. We’ll have to call ahead to the other duchies and counties informing them that we will not be visiting them. The Cordonian press would definitely want to talk to us, in fact I think they’ll have a field day with the news. Once they get their scoop, you should expect to be on the front of all the tabloids for a month at least because the public will be disappointed that their favourite new duchess won’t be having a big white wedding. In terms of international matters and where we are with catching the perpetrators from the night of the Homecoming ball…’
Liam paused for a moment seeming to use the time to organise his next words. ‘I’m sure Bastien had been counting on having more time to find them while the press were focused on the tour but I’ll have to tell him to speed up the investigation. The needs of the people haven’t changed. They need to see that I and the monarchy are standing strong and able to protect them. That has and always will be my first priority. I guess now we’ll have less time to convince them of that…’ he trailed off despondently, his shoulders drooping as if the weight of the world had suddenly been thrust on them.
Liam’s words only made consequences of her decision feel more real as he highlighted exactly how it would affect a great number of people outside of herself. It only took a moment for her to make up her mind.
‘I’ll do it.’ Elizabeth burst out abruptly. ‘I’ll marry him.
Disbelief was stark on Liam’s face as he snapped his head up to look at her.
‘What?’
She swallowed hard before continuing on. ‘I’ll marry him Liam. Look, I don’t need Madeline to lecture me on how important this wedding is to you and Cordonia. Although I’m not from here, I am still a Duchess and my duty is to my people so if this is what it takes so be it.’
‘But what about-‘ Liam began to interrupt her.
She held a hand up, gesturing for him to let her speak. ‘Don’t worry about Drake and I… We’ll-‘
What exactly would they do?
Elizabeth had seen the bud of hope in Liam’s face before it was overrun by hesitation and she took comfort in that as she continued.
‘We’ll figure something out. After all the things you’ve done for him and I, this is the least we can do for you.’
Using all of her courtly training, she schooled her features into a convincing smile as she watched him rise to his feet, his blue gaze fixing intently on her.
‘Are you sure? Because I’m not going to pretend that this wouldn’t be extremely convenient for me especially given the odds we’re up against but are you absolutely sure you want to do this Elizabeth?
‘This is about more than just me. So yes I am Liam.’
‘Alright then,’ he replied, heading over to the door. ‘I’ll make the necessary arrangements then.’ Hand on the doorknob, he paused, throwing her one last questioning look.
‘I’m sure about this Liam,’ Elizabeth repeated to which he gave her a small smile before closing the door behind him, leaving her alone to come to terms with the weight of her impending decision hanging over her head.